“This was so overdue.”
“I agree,” I reply to Johnattan as I lay in my bed sideways. “It’s been a while since we’ve talked. I miss you.”
From the iPhone on the pillow beside my head I hear his melodic voice speak to me.
“I miss you too mi diosa but I can’t leave New York just yet there’s just so much work and when I think it’ll let up more is added to my plate,” he says with a sigh and I caress my bloated stomach as I listen to him.
“I know it’s not that easy Johnattan but I miss you...”and your baby needs you. I want to add but I refrain from doing so.
It’s been a month since Johnattan left and I am missing him like crazy. I miss his voice, his soft lips that kiss me tenderly, and his arms that cradle me like I’m the most precious thing in the world. I miss him. After all he’s my Johnattan. My Johnny Bravo. My JoJo. My JBear.
“I’m going crazy being away from you too Christina but it can’t be helped,” he sighs and I can just imagine him running his hand through his dark locks.
"Está vale," I mumble as I shuffle onto my back, staring at my ceiling.
The time away from him as painful as it was had proven to be productive. Dr Monroe and I had made progress I could finally look at pictures of Johnattan without falling apart.
As small of an achievement it may sound it is something big to me. The first couple days of trying this were disastrous. I’d almost gotten a panic attack at first. His rugged look, dark locks that now fall to his shoulders and then his beautiful electric blue eyes. These eyes had flashed in my mind and they turned ice cold and then I started to hyperventilate. Dr Monroe had taken the photo from me instantly and tried to calm me as wept. Thankfully though after many more tries I overcame my fear.
I had realized it was a photo, it couldn’t hurt me. It was an unmoving, non-living representation and it wouldn’t cause me any harm.
Dr Monroe was happy to see that I’d mastered this step and had applauded me. I could see the pride in his eyes as he look at me. I’d done it. Now it was time for the next step, direct confrontation.
“Joseph?” I call as I place my hand on my stomach.
“Yes Isabelle,” he answers huskily and my stomach clenches as warmth travel through me at the sound of my name on his tongue.
“Can you sing for me?” I ask.
Sing for us? I think as I rub circles on my baby bump.
Call me childish but next to my mother’s voice, Johnattan’s voice has that soothing effect on me and I need to relax, I need his comfort.
“Sure mi diosa," he replies and I smile. “Anything you want I’ll be happy to give you. Now what would you like to hear? I can do a mean Beyonce imitation.”
Before I can even reply he starts to sing and it causes me to double over with laughter.
"If I ain’t got nothing, I got you!
If I’ve got something I don’t give a damn unless I got it with you!
I don’t know much algebra but I know. One plus one equal Two!”
He sings the song in a high pitched voice messing up the lyrics and flow of the song and I can’t help but laugh idiotically.
“Heaven,” I say instantly between laughs. “I want you to sing Heaven for me, not a Beyonce song. You’re a great singer Johnny but stay in your league.”
“Damn, I felt that jab... But sure thing sweet cheeks,” he says playfully and I blush as I remember one of the many times he called me that.
I was on all fours and he was on his knees behind me pleasuring my body in ways that have me reliving in the feel right now. His hands all over me, in my hair and his body flushed against mine.
“As you wish,” he says and I giggle.
“Thank you Westley." I say in a mocking tone and he chuckles. The sound sounding magical to my ears.
"Oh, thinking about our younger years.
It was only you and me we were young and wild and free.
Now nothing can take you away from me, we’ve been down that road before, that’s over now... Keep me coming back for more..."
As Johnattan hits the chorus I close my eyes relishing in the soothing sound of his voice. My body relaxes and I sigh.
This really feels like I’m in heaven, except for the fact I’m not wrapped up in his arms. Those thick, comforting arms. Feeling him caress my swollen stomach as I get that feeling of security.
“Did you enjoy that Christi?” He asks and I release a pleased moan before reply.
“That was beautiful Johnny,” I say my voice low, husky and a little seductive.
“I wish you were right here in my arms Christi. Right now,” I could hear the strain, lust and longing in his voice.
“Why’s that Johnattan?" I ask teasing him.
“You’ve made my dick more erect than the Eiffel Tower,” he states and I bite my lip as his words floating around in my head turning me on.
“Is it a bad or good thing that I’m completely turned on right now?” I ask and he chuckles.
“If you weren’t I’d believed I’ve lost my touch,” he says and I can just imagine his smirking face. “And it’s both. Good that my words have this effect on you and bad because I’m not there to relieve all that sexual tension in that beautiful body yours.”
I lick my lips. “I’m concerned about you. Will mini you be okay without su diosa there to feed him?”
“After a cold shower he’d be fine but if you feel like helping him there’s something you can do for him.”
“And what’s that?”
“Tell him how bad you want him to fuck you right now.”
My body hums at the tease and I play along wanting to see where it’ll take us. It’s been a while since I’ve had that sensual release only he can give me and if this is the way I can get it right now I’ll take it. My body lusts after him, my pussy loves the feel of his cock and my soul loves the connection I feel as we align.
I miss his addicting touches, the way he drives me crazy almost animalistic causing me to scream and lose myself in his arms.
“Hm, you mean how much I want your hands all over my body, pulling my hair, groping my ass as you pull me closer to your hard, big cock?” I ask licking my lips at the thought, my pussy dampening upon hearing him groan and my pussy tugs at the sound.
“Then I’d wrap my hand around your wide girth pumping you slowly before grinding my warm, moist pussy against your raging boner? Feeling your blunt, thick tip slide into my tight little pussy and I cry out only to have your mouth cover mine as you rock my body back and forth hitting all the right spots. My body twisting and turning and thrashing as you lose control taking me harder, faster. Your lips moving against mine feverishly as you grope my ass and play with my swollen nipples. My hands clawing at your back as I groan and scream. My eyes rolling back as your thrusts push my body to that sweet fucking release.”
“Yes baby just like that,” I hear him grunt on the other side and I grin feeling pleased. “Feeling your hot, soft skin against mine. Sweat clinging your body glistening as the moonlight illuminates it. Gripping your waist keeping you pinned to the bed, your nails claw at my back wildly as you whimper wanting more. Hearing you cry out for me as I hammer your wet-”
My hand had disappeared into my pyjama shorts as I speak and a low sensual moan rips from my lips as I listen to his words.
"Fuck? What are you doing Christina?” Johnattan asks his voice huskier.
“Rubbing the numb, petting the kitty, tickling the skittle or simply working my fingers in and out of my wet pussy while imagining you fucking me senseless.”
"Damn, what do you want mi diosa? Are you imagining me fingering your tight little pussy until you drip every ounce of your delicious juices coats my fingers. Until it drips down my entire hand?”
I pump harder and my body fall in sync with his words, my wetness dripping down my own fingers. I bit my lips my hormones toying with my body making my wanting, longing, and turning me into a nymphomaniac.
"Fuck, you’re making me so wet Johnny,” I say as I pinch my clit arching my back off the bed with an erotic moan. Fuck! Johnattan...
Warmth travels around my body touching every part and I feel a pull in my gut as I pleasure myself as I listen to the sound of Johnattan’s voice as he jerks off on the other line. My body feels blissful, riding on the pleasure coursing through it. I want him now in every way, every position as he makes my body convulse as he fucks me senseless.
“I want you beneath me begging me to make you cum as I pummel my pulsing cock in your pussy over and over again. The only thing I want to hear is the clap of our bodies aligning, connecting - my dick sliding into your weeping pussy, our curses, pants and moans and screams as I fuck you until your legs - until your entire fucking body goes numb.”
I hiss out crying out as I pinch my erected nipples as my fingers works my nether region. “Fuck, Johnny I want you so bad. I want you to fuck me so bad.”
“I want to be balls deep in you so bad mi diosa. Making you scream, and moan my name as I make love to you making you cum so hard that your pussy clenches around my dick never wanting to let go. To feel your nails sinking into my back as I grip onto the sheets powering inside out you, shaking your body to the core.”
My back arches as beads of sweat cling to my body as my temperature rises. Goose bumps rise on my sticky skin as that pressure in my stomach builds up making me feel frustrated. Needy.
I clamp my eyes shut imagine his hands, his mouth, his dick. Oh fuck, the words he whispers in my ear as he pleases my body. As he takes care of me - conform to my needs, showing me that no other man can fuck me like he can. Love me like he does. Showing me that I’m his and only his. Showing me that he knows every single part of my body and know what to do to make me combust in the most erratically pleasing way.
“Johnattan,” I moan wanting to hear him.
“Christina...” His voice raw with want and the sound makes me whimper in delight.
My body clenches and that pressure forces its way through my body ripping a cry from my lips.
I ride my orgasm moaning, feeling free as that sexual tension that’s been welled up in my body flow away. Johnattan cums after I do but I’m too caught up in the liberating feeling coursing through me.
“Christina?” I hear him call out.
I inhale deeply before replying. “Yes Mr Blake.”
“I love you so fucking much.”
White walls stare back at me as I try to focus on anything but Lexi’s banter. She’s been on my case since this morning. Lexi, being as nosy as always, hasn’t stop inquiring me into what happened in my room last night.
Damn those wall for being so fucking thin.
“Come Christina,” she whispers. “I know Johnattan didn’t travel from New York to Cali last night. Plus I would have seen him enter your room-”
“Unless he came in by the window,” I say dryly.
“He’s no crook, you’re no underage teenage girl and I’m not an overbearing parent that won’t allow your union so I don’t think he did that.” Lexi points out as she skips through the pages of the Vogue magazine in her hand. “So spill...”
“Just give it up Lexi,” I say a blush colouring my cheek as I think about what happened last night. How the hell can I tell her I fingered myself to his voice, she’d never let me live it down.
“You should know by now babe, Lexi doesn’t give up,” she smirks looking into my eyes.
I avert my eyes in annoyance. My eyes drift to the people occupying the seats in front of us and I sigh.
The receptionist phone rings and the sound annoys my ears. This is the umpteenth time that blasted phone has been ringing and it was driving me nuts. Luckily the woman answers the phone on the third ring reliving my eardrums.
“Remind me again why I’m here with you again,” I ask annoyed.
“Because,” Lexi says rolling her eyes. “Shan’s still out of town, Chev has been MIA, Johnattan doesn’t know about your baby and I haven’t had an ultrasound in a while now.”
“Oh so you were my last resort. I see,” I say dryly.
Lexi rolls her eyes focusing on her magazine. “I’ll leave it for now but once we’re home you’ll tell me everything.”
I sigh as a door to our left open and a short, blonde doctor walks into the waiting area. She walks to the receptionist and they converse exchanging papers. The doctor walks into the centre of the room smiling to us as she runs her eyes over the papers in her hands.
“Ms Christina Hase,” she says with an Irish accent. “You’re next.”
Lexi closes the magazine and slowly gets up from her chair. I grab my crutches standing up from the seat and make my way towards the doctor Lexi close behind.
“Which one of you is Christina?” She asks.
“She is,” Lexi says with a smile pointing to me. “I’m just accompanying her.”
“Okay, well I’m Dr McIntosh. Please follow me ladies.”
She makes her way to the doors holding it open for us and we thank her as we pass her. She directs us to her office and a few minutes later I’m on a bed with my T-shirt folded above my stomach.
"It’s cold," I hiss as the doctor applies a lubricant to my stomach.
Lexi chuckles while the doctor smiles. “You’re not the first patient to say that.”
“Just relax Christina,” Lexi says as she looks at me, patting my hair.
“Do I really look that nervous?”
“Your body is shaking, your palms are sweaty and your eyes glance down to your stomach every ten seconds,” Lexi points out. “It’s okay Chrissie. Your baby will be fine.”
I smile mouthing a thank you to her and she holds my hand as the doctor starts the procedure.
I can’t shake the guilt I feel inside when I think about the fact that Johnattan’s not here. He’s this baby’s father and he deserves to be here for this but my own selfishness is the reason he’s not. A chuckle vibrates from my throat as I think about how nervous he’d be right now. I’d be too busy calming him down to even be nervous myself.
... Bum... Bum...
“Oh my god. Christina.”
Lexi’s voice knocks from my thoughts and my eyes move around the room before landing on the screen.
There it is. My baby. In a grayscale image two blobs are highlighted with a bright white tint. The image shifts at my body shakes and I breath hard as I try to calm myself.
I didn’t notice I am crying until Lexi uses her thumb to brush away the wetness from my cheeks. My heart’s fluttering and my body warms up at the sight of my baby. Johnattan and I’s baby. Baby Blake.
A strong drumming beats from the screen in a haphazard way and I smile as more tears flood my cheeks. I tighten my hold on Lexi’s hand before looking up at her. She has a smile plastered on her face and she looks down at me affectionately.
“It’s my baby Lexi. My baby," I whisper looking at the image. I can’t believe it. The sight overwhelms me and I fight my body to remain calm.
“... Heartbeats are strong. A little undergrown but that’s nothing a few medication and regular, proportioned eating won’t fix,” the doctor states looking at the screen.
“Can you show us...?” I say trailing off.
“Sure,” she says her brown eyes looking at me as she smiles.
“There’s a head,” she using her finger to circle a small white blob. I look at Lexi excitedly.
“That’s my baby’s head,” I coo as I look at the screen. I resemble a four year old as I point and repeat what the doctor says and Lexi chuckles at my behaviour.
“And here’s the other one,” the doctor says pointing to another white blob on screen.
I look at her bewildered. “Other one?” I croak.
“Yes, the other head.”
My heart stops beating momentarily and I look at her in horror. “My baby has two heads?”
She shakes her head frantically as I stare at her shocked to the core. “No, there are two heart beats. That’s why it sounds so haphazard Ms Hase,” the doctor says looking at me. “You’re having twins.”
“Twins,” Lexi states unbelievingly. “Holy shit.”
“Your card ma’am,” Edward says interrupting our conversation and I take it from his hand. After multiple plucks my card had finally emerged from the pack and I smile at him before looking at it.
He called it! Edward had predicted my babies! I’m having twins. I am having not one but two babies. Oh my god. Twins. Two hearts. Two heart beats. I can’t... My heart hammers against my chest and I look around frantically.
“Two?” I croak before my eyes rolled back and my world went black.