I flex my toes and hiss as a sting passes through them.
“How does it feel?” Trisha my nurse asks as she looks up at me.
“It stings a little but it’s manageable,” I state giving her a small smile.
“Good,” she states with a smile standing up from her sitting position.
“You have a knack for getting into trouble don’t you?” She jokes as she sits on the bed beside me.
“I guess so,” I shrug pulling at the partially ripped dress I am in.
“It seems so,” Trisha says softly as she looks at me sympathetically. “Okay let me see your hand.”
Trisha hops off the patient’s table before standing in front of me with an outstretched hand.
I look up at her with puffy eyes and she frowns before embracing me. I wrap my hands around her, crying as the weight on my chest threatens to suffocate me. The pain I feel, knowing I placed my best friend and baby in danger, knowing I placed my babies in danger and shot–
“It’s okay Izzy,” Trisha coos as she rubs my back.
Originally, Trisha wasn’t supposed to be in this section of the hospital but when she was carrying a file over to front desk she saw me and took me as her patient without another thought. She’s been with me for the last couple minutes cleaning me up.
The blood on my face, arms and hands is gone. She administered some cream for the swelling on my cheek from Sam’s hit and after consulting Dr Hyll –who gave the go ahead– helped me out of my cast.
I pull away from her stifling and she takes my injured hand unwrapping the makeshift bandage before looking at the wound.
The paramedics had gotten out the glass splinters and wrapped the wound before we arrived at the hospital but the bandage is now drenched in blood.
She grabs her products and tools before returning her attention to my hand and I wince as she pours alcohol on the wound.
“I’m sorry honey,” she apologizes before using a cotton ball to clean up the area around the wound.
“So do I have to ask or are you going to tell me what happened?” Trisha asks looking up at me with warm eyes.
I sigh bowing my head before replying. “I was held hostage in my own room, my best friend knocked out, her unborn child maybe hurt and it’s all because of me.”
Tears prickle at my eyes as I remember the anguish that took me over as I watched them roll an unconscious Lexi into the back of the ambulance. There was yelling, hurried movements but the words ‘I’m not hearing a heartbeat from the baby’ punched me hard in the gut.
“I shot s-someone and it’s all because of a suicidal transgender male that I slept with in the past when he was a she,” I breathe out not caring whether Trisha would judge me or not.
“Well,” she says as she wraps a bandage around my hand. “That’s a lot to have on your chest dearie but I’ll say this I’m sure the baby with be okay and so will your best friend and that person you shot was admitted so he’s okay,” she says and I sigh relieved. “He came in after you... Now you need to relax or your blood pressure will rise and that will not be good for your body.”
I nod with a small smile wiping my tears before whispering a thanks.
“It’s nothing hon,” she says as she returns the stuff she used. “I’ll be back soon. I have another patient to look after.”
“It’s fine,” I state gesturing for her to go on.
Trisha nods picking up the pieces of the cast that was once moulded to my leg before walking towards the door.
“Dr Hyll will be with you soon so be good until then,” she states with a wink before exiting.
“Yeah,” I state half-heartedly as I rest my hands in my lap.
Stop!” Tears fall from my eyes as stare at their bloody faces. Please stop.
“I said stop!” I scream but they ignore me. I have to!
“I’m sorry!” I cry as I pull the trigger, the sound of the shots echoing in my head.
I flex my fingers, it’s as if I can still feel the cold metal against my skin, in my hand. I shot someone, I pulled the trigger burying a bullet in him.
The blood, the cries... They haunt me. They–
The creaking of the door knocks me from my thoughts and as I look up at Dr Hyll I will my body to stay still. The trembling subsides but not significantly, I still feel and look tense.
“Doctor Hyll,” I greet as look up.
“Ms Hase,” he says as he walks into the room clipboard in hand. “I’d say it’s nice to see you but not under these circumstances. How are you feeling?”
I close my eyes breathing through my mouth before answering him. “I feel mentally and physical exhausted. I feel numb and nauseous.”
He takes a seat on the stool before me as I speak and flashes me an understanding smile. “Well, I guess you are indeed in need of this check-up then.”
He starts to look me over, checking for additional wounds among other things. He speaks with me asking about trivial thing as he does his check-up causing me to relax a bit. He managed to make me laugh and it makes me feel light. It relieves the pressure weighing down on me a little and for that I am thankful.
“Okay so far so good,” he says as he writes notes on his clipboard. He places it on the table before pulling out his stethoscope and gesturing for me to come closer. “Now we check the baby.”
“Babies,” I say as he places the stethoscope on my bloated stomach.
His brows raise as he takes in my words and I smile at his reaction. “Well, well congratulations are in order. Twins, wow! I’m sure your partner must be happy.”
I frown a little at that statement. The way Johnattan found out was not ideal. I hadn’t had the chance to explain, I was too tied up, literally. I should have followed Lexi’s advice and told him about it sooner.
“How far along are you?” He asks.
“You’re the doctor shouldn’t you know that?” I ask with a smirk.
“That I am but I choose to ask. Now will you answer?”
I giggle nodding. “I’m five and a half months.”
“Good that means if you’re very quiet I will be able to hear these babies’ heartbeats. So be a good mom and hush up,” he says placing his finger to his lips.
I remain quiet as Doctor Hyll moves the stethoscope along my stomach searching for a beat. I start to panic as a few minutes past and he has yet to find it.
“There they are,” he muses as he moves the stethoscope to and fro between two fixed points on my stomach. “Does mommy want to hear?”
I nod my head shyly as he removes the instrument from his ear and place them in mine. He moves the other end along my stomach and the faint drumming of little hearts hammers against my eardrums causing tears prickle my eyes.
Removing the buds from my ear I hand the instrument to the doctor before resting a hand on my stomach. They’re okay.
“Alright, their hearts are still strong and pumping but we need to run a few more tests,” Dr Hyll says standing up. “Nurse Daniels, that’s Trisha, will be with you to lead you to the areas the tests will take place. I have to go now but I’ll be back soon.”
“Okay,” I say and he nods before exiting the room.
After almost two hours of check-ups I find myself being wheeled to Lexi’s room.
I had Trisha to escort me there since I’ve been stuck in the wheel chair and an uncomfortable hospital gown since the tests and she agreed – after consulting Dr Hyll of course.
She makes a few turns before wheeling me to room 237. The hall is surprisingly empty as we make our way to the door and I sigh thankfully not ready to face my friends just yet.
“What’s the prognosis?” I ask softly as we stop at the door. “Is she okay? Are her babies?”
I look up at Trisha who gives me a sad smile at me before replying. “She’s been put in a medically induced coma. The doctors will be taking her out of it in the next two days or so. Her injuries aren’t bad but they aren’t good. Her baby is okay, his heart is beating and such...”
Trisha sighs before continuing. “But she might have problems at birth, according to what her doctor says.”
“Oh,” is all I can utter as the reality of what’s happening hits me. Lexi’s in a coma. She might have problems during labour all because of me.
I stifle back tears releasing a breath before changing the topic. “So where are my friends?”
Trisha frowns before returning to her initial position behind me, grabbing the wheelchair handles.
“It’s not visiting hours as yet so most of your friends are in the waiting room and making a ruckus might I add. So, after this I’ll roll you down to them. You’re not supposed to be in here but I think it’ll do you good to see her.”
“Thank you Trisha,” I say as she opens the door and rolls me into the room.
“No problem. Now go you have ten minutes.”
She closes the door with smile and I smile at her – not a genuine one but a smile none the less – before manoeuvring the wheelchair towards Lexi’s bed. There she lies unconscious and alone. My best friend’s asleep on a hospital bed with a drip in her arm, an oxygen mask over her mouth and bandage around her head. Her stomach protrudes from the covers and I shudder thinking of the bruises she’s likely to have there.
Her facial expression is one that tells she’s in pain. There’s a bluish black bruise on the right side of her face. From her fall I’m guessing. Her straightened hair is raggedy and her eyes are a bit swollen and puffy. She looks awful.
I place my hand over my mouth holding back a sob but fail miserably as I start to tremble and cry. The beeping the machine beside her bed is the only thing that indicates that she’s alive and I hiccup as I thank god that they’re both alive and I pray they survive this. Lexi deserves to be happy. She’s been through so much shit in her life and this baby is one of the good things in her life. She can’t lose it and I can’t lose her.
Slowly, I reach out and grab her hand gently, looking at her fragile state while more tears fall to my cheeks. I kiss her lifeless hand before resting my head on the sheets thinking about all Trisha had said.
How can this not be my fault? Sam was after me and she got caught up in it. It was me they wanted, me! And I am the reason that she got hurt...
“I’m so sorry Lexi, this is all my fault. Your baby. I’m –” I cry as I hold onto her hand like it was my lifeline. “I’m sorry... I’m so, so, so sorry Lexi.”
After ten minutes of crying and apologizing to her even though I know she can’t hear me; I find myself being wheeled towards the waiting area.
I haven’t spoken since I left Lexi’s room. I’m afraid that if I do I’ll just end up crying all over again and blaming myself. Even though I am the one at fault.
As I enter the waiting area, the first person to notice me is Chev. She is standing at the receptionist’s desk demanding to see her friends and engrossed in a heated argument with the man standing behind the desk. Edward stands beside her trying to calm her and get her away from the quarrel but judging by the look she gives him, he is a minute away from being punched.
Luckily for him however, she catches sight of me.
“Izzy!” Chev shrieks catching the others attention as she runs towards me.
“Chev,” I croak choked up by emotions.
She drops to the ground in front of me and I sob as she hugs me tightly. She pets my hair, rubs my back and kisses my forehead before pulling me closer.
“Isabelle,” I hear Shanice call as she slowly stalks towards us and I pull away to look up at her red puffy eyes.
She is in a pair of black pyjamas, her hair is covered by a hair cap and a pair of pink fuzzy slippers clad her feet. Chev is in the same state however, she wears a grey tank top, black shorts and white flip flops.
The men are in pyjama bottoms with Edward wearing a T-shirt and Dimitri in a tank top.
“Shan,” I whisper as she too drops to her knees and hugs me. “Lexi... S-She’s in a c-coma.”
I bury my face in Chev’s chest relishing in the warmth of her body and the feeling of security she brings. “T-This is all my fault!”
“Shh, Izzy. It’s okay...” Chev says her voice breaking. “It’s not your faul–”
“I thought I’d lost you. I thought they’d k-killed–” Shan interrupts as she rests her teary face on my shoulder sobbing. “We were all having fun at your baby shower and now we’re at the h-hospital... and Lexi’s in a c-coma. Her poor b-baby...”
Shan lifts her head from my shoulder staring at Dimitri who shakes his head, a worried expression on his face. “Shan–”
Abruptly, she pulls away from us, shocking both Chev and I. She then sprints, making her way towards the elevator door but Dimitri grabs a hold of her before she can flee.
“Dimi, I can’t,” she states trying to pull away but he refuses to let her go. “It’s happening all over a-again.”
“Shh, it’s okay,” he whispers as he looks into her eyes. “It’s okay. Isabelle is okay, Lexi is going to be okay and you’re going to be okay.”
He whispers something in her ear and she nods calming down wrapping her arms around him as Dimitri soothes her trembling body. We watch sympathetically the worries of Lexi’s state taking its emotional toll on us all.
“She’ll be okay,” Dimitri states looking at us as Shan cries in his arms.
We nod and he carries his sobbing wife towards the seats and cradles her in his arms while she sits in his lap.
Chev returns her gaze to me with a tearful smile before hugging me once more and kissing my forehead. She then nods to someone behind me, stepping back into Edward’s embrace and I turn the wheel chair around only to be rendered speechless.
He kneels before me taking a hold of the hand rests pulling me closer to him. I try to smile between the tears as he cups my cheek and he wipes the wetness away with his thumbs.
“Christina,” he says and I grab hold of his arm not believing what I see.
He winces a little and I release him as my eyes drift to the bandage on his arm. He notices my gaze and pinches my chin bring my eyes to his electric blues.
“Johnattan, I’m so sorry. I shot you. I di–”
“It’s only a flesh wound Christi. Sam was the one that got the full effect and deserved every ounce of pain he’s in right now.” Johnattan clarifies.
“I shot him, not you...” I mumble to myself. “Oh my god, I shot someone. I sho–”
Abruptly, Johnattan kisses my lips softly shutting me up and I grip his shoulder kissing him back. I deepen the kiss forgetting about what I was ratting about and he chuckles before giving me the access I crave. My tongue explores his mouth re-familiarizing itself with each groove and crevice and chills run through my body as he delicately massages my tongue with his own.
It’s so surreal, holding him, having him close, my lips on his... I missed him so fucking much.
I pull him closer snaking my hand into his hair loving the feel of his hair through my fingers. He groans and I feel it to my core, the love hungry beast wanting to break free and take me as his own. And I wanted that to happen so badly. Feeling his hands on me, his body worshipping mine...
He pulls away before affectionately pecking my lips, cheeks, nose and forehead and I smile, moving my hand to his scarred cheek. I trace his scar with my finger and he smiles looking at me as my eyes wander over his face.
This face that I haven’t seen in months. Those eyes that I can finally look into without going crazy. This man that saved me, that was there even when I had I started to give up hope.
“Christina?” Johnattan says as he notices that I haven’t said anything for a few minutes and I smile before cupping his face with both hands.
I pull his lips to mine once more not receiving any protests and I kiss him with so much passion that it almost takes my breath away.
I pull away breathing hard, our nose rubbing against each other and my eyes downcast. “I love you so much Johnattan Blake and I never want to be without you.” I say as take his hand and place it on stomach gently before looking into his eyes.
It’s time... I need to do this.
"They don’t ever want to lose their daddy and neither does their mommy. These babies are yours Johnattan, ours.” I state taking a deep breath. “I am five and a half months along. Because of my fears it took me two and a half months after finding out to tell you and for that I am sorry... but it’s better late than never. So...” I look into his eyes with a tearful smile. “Johnattan Blake, I, Christina Hase, am pregnant with your babies and the three of us love and need you.”
“Finally,” I hear Chev mutter and I chuckle before observing the man before me.
Johnattan looks at me shocked, overwhelmed and I bite my lip awaiting his reaction.
"Three?” he whispers as he caresses my stomach and the warmth of his touch causes me to sigh. “You’re having twins?”
I nod my head caressing his cheek and I chuckle brushing away tears as they fall from his eyes. “This wasn’t how you were to find out. Lexi and I had planned it all but–”
“I don’t care how you tell me Christina. I’m just happy it’s happening,” he interrupts. “The woman I love is having my babies... This is one of the best things to ever happen to me, the other being the night I met you.”
He kisses my lips, my cheeks, then all over my face and I giggle as he assaults my face with kisses. My heart beats sensationally against my chest and I can’t help the big grin that makes its way to my face.
The others nestle together watching us as we marvel in the fact that we’re together and as a family .Chev resting her head on Edward’s shoulder and Shan is leaning back against Dimitri’s chest, all of them sporting a smile as they take us in.
“I love you,” he chants as he kisses me and soon his lips are planted on my clothed stomach repeating the same words and my heart warms at the sight. I look at the grown ass man speaking to my bloated stomach and can’t help but smile.
My babies and my Johnattan together just as they should be.