In my dream, I was sitting on the beach after a long day of surfing. The sun was shining bright in the blue sky. The waves smoothed out slightly. The sand was warm and hot under my body. Also he laid on the towel next to me working on his tan while reading a book.
“What are you reading this time?” I asked him slightly shocked. Just yesterday he finished reading Pride and Prejudice and now he’s already half way through another book.
“The Princess Bride.” The words are effortless and smooth as they exited his mouth.
I suppressed my laughter with an amused smile.
“Oh, shut up!” he scowled. “My sister made me watch the movie with her last night and I was interested in the book. Sue me.”
“I just may!” I joked still finding his book choice amusing.
He rolled his icy blue eyes before returning them to the page he was currently reading. I studied him as I ran my towel through my wet hair. His body was perfectly tanned from lying on the beach all day. His shaggy brown hair fell into his baby blues. He also had his reading classes on which made him look incredibly sexy.
“You know you’ve been reading all day,” I eased into the statement. “Don’t you think you could use a break?”
“Oh, yeah? And do what exactly?” He looked up at me with a suggestive eyebrow.
“I think we could figure something out.” I winked playfully.
He smirks and put the bookmark in his book to save his spot. He then sets it aside and moves closer to me.
“What exactly should we do?” He asked teasingly.
“Let me show you.”
I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.
We stayed like that forever. Nothing interrupted us. There were no problems. No secrets. No hiding. Everything was peaceful . . . unlike real life. Only in my dreams can I be myself and not be judged. Unfortunately, just like every day, it must come to an end.
I woke up to the loud beeping of my alarm clock. I slammed my hand against it to stop the noise and reluctantly got out of my warm bed. Grabbing my towel I went to the bathroom to shower and get ready for school.
Once I got out, I studied myself in the mirror only to find my sky blue eyes looking back at me. On the outside, I had the perfect façade. I was Justin Kohn. The all-around popular guy. The sports star. The top third in my senior class. I am captain of the football team. I am seventeen-years-old and have a perfect life with perfect parents and a perfect girlfriend.
However, that isn’t who I really am. I am hiding a huge secret from everyone. I am gay. Only one person has ever known the truth about me . . . but he’s gone now. I am stuck in this small town pretending to be someone I’m not. And I’m sick of it. I only have to keep up the façade for another year then I will be at college and can live whatever life I want.
I raked my hand through my tousled blonde hair and took a deep breath before going back to my room. I changed into my usual jeans, vans, and t-shirt before throwing on my Leatherman’s jacket. Picking up my backpack and keys I made my way to the kitchen to find my parents already left for work.
Mom is a judge while my father is a high-paid attorney. They make a great team and make a good amount of money, but it comes with a cost. They are never home. I will only see them in the house about five times a month. They always get home hours after I’ve already gone to sleep and leave about an hour before I get up. It’s predictable, but I’ve learned to live with it.
I grabbed a Pop-Tart out of the cupboard and made my way to the garage. Lowering myself into my blue 2012 BMW Convertible I drove down the familiar streets to one house in particular before school. I honked the horn and waited for her to come out. She soon made her way out of her house and into my car.
Today her curly blonde hair was down around her shoulders. Her hazel eyes popped due to the eye shadow she chose. She wore short, ripped, jean shorts and a loose shirt that hung off the shoulder and showed off her tan. The long tan legs that she showed off would have made any guy drop to his knees, except for me. I put my hand on her thigh nonetheless.
“Hey, babe,” Kendall said brightly.
She leaned over and wrapped her arms around my neck bringing me into a kiss. I kissed her back not as enthusiastically. I placed one hand on her waist and the other on her bare thigh. After about a minute of this I pulled away.
“Kendall, we have to stop or we’ll be late for school,” I told her grumbling slightly.
She rolled her eyes annoyed, but got off my lap and traveled back to her seat. “Fine. How about we skip math after lunch and go back to my place?” She offered suggestively.
I bit my lip trying to think of an excuse.
Kendall must have recognized the look on my face, because she said, “Please Justin. We haven’t done anything in forever and I’m going through withdrawals!”
I sighed not seeing any way that I could get out of this.
“Okay,” I reluctantly agreed.
Kendall smiled and kissed my neck in appreciation.
I pretended to be enthusiastic about it for the rest of the drive. Kendall and I have been dating for two years now. In sophomore year, kids weren’t beginning to believe my “I’m-too-busy-with-sports-to-date” excuse anymore so I asked out Kendall who is the captain of the Cheerleading squad and Dance team. We had been dating since.
Just this past year we had been having sex. Each and every time sucked for me, but to her nothing seemed wrong. I tried to keep us from doing it as much as I can, but sometimes (like today) I get cornered into it. But it’s a small price to pay in order to keep my secret a secret.
When we pulled up in front of the school we grabbed our bags and walked inside. I placed my arm around Kendall’s shoulders and pulled her closer to me to keep up appearances. We went to my locker first and then to Kendall’s. I walked her to her first period class then headed off to mine.
I walked into Physics and sat by my best friend, Darrell. Darrell is a big, burly African-American guy who can pound anyone into the ground. We co-captain the football team together. We had been friends since I joined the team in freshman year. And we’re actually a bit more than best friends. We’re also step-cousins. Darrell’s dad married my aunt the summer before sophomore year. So we knew each other because of the team but we weren’t really friends until the marriage.
“’Sup?” Darrell greeted when I walked over to the desk we shared.
“Hey,” I said back, looking at the board up ahead and waited for class to start.
The rest of the day was really boring. I was able to avoid getting homework for the day so that was good. Most Fridays we have a football game however, not today which Kendall happily pointed out at lunch.
“So, it’s Friday and you don’t have a game, how about we do something?” She offered slyly.
She sat on my lap as we sat with all our friends. I couldn’t exactly say no without them all wondering why.
“Sure,” I agreed faking excitement. “What do you want to do? Bowling, dinner, a club?”
“I was actually thinking of the drive-in,” Kendall suggested. I immediately knew Kendall’s plan. She wanted us go to the drive-in about once a month and then we would usually end up making out or having sex in my car.
I didn't like the idea, but I also refused to let her know that. “Yeah, definitely. Sounds like a plan.”
When lunch ended I picked up my bag to go to Algebra 2, but was stopped by a tug on my hand. Kendall was looking at me with a raised eyebrow and I remembered what I promised to do with her today.
“Dude, you coming?” Darrell asked.
“No man, I’ll see you later.”
Darrell nodded and ran off to class as Kendall and I walked outside to my car. We got in and I drove us to Kendall’s house. Maids usually cleaned at my house around this time of day so I could never skip without my parents finding out. So usually if we would then we would go to Kendall’s.
We had an hour and a half until our next class and I’m sure that Kendall wanted to keep us preoccupied for every second of it. I swallowed down the disgust I always felt with myself before doing this and got out of the car and followed Kendall upstairs to her room.
We closed the door and her lips immediately went to my neck. I traveled my hands up Kendall’s shirt and took off her bra. Slowly our clothes worked their way off, and I imagined one specific person so that my body would respond.
I thought of his chocolate colored eyes and his messy brown hair. I thought of his muscles - despite the fact that he never worked out a day in his life. The thought of how sexy he looked with his reading glasses on worked its way into my brain. Then I thought of him without his clothes on. I immediately felt myself respond and that was how I continued to keep myself up for the rest of the hour and twenty minutes.