{{ contest.story_page_sticky_bar_text }} Be the first to recommend this story.
Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
Joanne Sexton would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

American Woman

By Joanne Sexton All Rights Reserved ©

Erotica / Romance

Extract

I feel as if I’m wasted

Darkness and light tango across the ceiling when wind strip searches trees, blocking the streetlight’s glow when the bluster sways branches. The eerie shapes skittering overhead would be frightening if I was a child, or if I allowed my imagination to take hold.

Instead, lying in the darkness, they are soothing somehow. I shiver as the howling outside mimics the shadows stretching in front of me.

The snoring besides me escalates, and I sigh. I love Alex, in my own way. As much as I can love him. It isn’t his fault our relationship is mundane and our sex life so routine. It took both of us to destroy the foundation of our life together. He can’t read minds.

Glancing over at his sleeping form my disappointment is a prevalent emotion. The usual jack-hammering of hurried sex left me unsatisfied again. The aroma of our coupling lingers. Sweat, and the faint trace of my arousal which never came to fruition.

The experience has left me raw and wanting more, a craving unfulfilled. I remember when sensuality and passion resided in our bed. Hot kisses, warm tongues and moans of unbridled ecstasy are all ghosts of the past. Things could be different. Why am I still here?

What bound me to him: loyalty, friendship, love? Alexander came into my life when I needed guidance, love and unconditional acceptance. For the most part he provided all this. If I am honest with myself, it probably isn’t his fault at all. I’ve retreated as I always do. He believes things are the same. He believes my happy facade. Ignorance is bliss. I doubt that when the time comes he will be surprised.

His restless slumber brings his face close to mine. A wave of dark hair flops across his face and I feel compelled, for the briefest of moments, to push it back. As I once had. Why did it always go this way? The unfulfilled feeling always came, as though something was amiss, like something was absent from my life. Alex no longer filled the void. I’m almost sure I am no longer who he wants either. We continue out of habit. I will miss him when he’s gone.

Sighing again I decide to get up. Insomnia will ensure I remain restless tonight. I leave the house dark as I tiptoe down the hall and out to my favourite room.

An enclosed back porch the length of the house with a picketed fence and clear plastic shades provide protection from the elements and a quiet comfort.

A wooden three-seater swing sits against the wall, my guitar propped beside it. Perhaps scribbling music and lyrics for my acoustic treasure will soothe me. Melancholy and bliss, the two ends of the emotional spectrum provide the best fodder for song. One of them is on the menu this evening.

Grabbing lined music paper and a pencil I go and sit, swinging for a bit, waiting for my muse. A chord forms in my mind so I pick up my classical guitar and strum. As the tune comes to me I hum it as I write out the notes. After the second play through the words shape with the music.

I sing out the blues for the third and final time. I have written better, and of course much worse, but it heals, it helps. Goodbye to you, Alexander. I try to recall the happier times, the beginning and the memories sit far in my mind, out of reach. Retrieving the folder containing my scribbled songs from the ground beside me, I shuffle through. If I play a song I wrote back then, when Alex became my world, maybe the lost hope could be restored. Simply called ‘Alexander’, the song emanated all the passion and thrills of new love I’ve forgotten how to feel.

As I sing I visualise his cupid’s bow mouth and ruffled hair. The sexy way jeans hug his hips, the smile which produces a dimple in one cheek, and his cleft chin. Lust without love crams my empty chest. A thudding heart produces the desire I didn’t experience when his urgent hands initiated his quick release. My well-timed moans and feigned interest helped him along. How is it the thought of sex with him produced fire in my loins, when the action could not?

Putting down my guitar I place the new song into the folder before throwing it to the floor. The wind blows at the blinds surrounding me, producing a light thud.

Laying back on the swing I allow the rocking and steady lull of the wind to relax my lust filled senses. I will miss him, I know this much at least.
Alex could be thoughtful when he made the effort. His humour will be hard to forget. His teasing and quick wit will be what I shall miss most. Will he protest when I ask him to leave, or accept the inevitable? We both can’t go on denying that the fun, the fire, the love has faded.

Arguments and heated battles form the majority of our communication. Discontent over each others faults overshadow the spark of infatuation. We rarely share anything, our interests segregated. His love of sports, and mine of stillness and music, collide. Opposites no longer attract. Relief and sadness wage a war inside me.

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Joanne Sexton
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

SPepper: I had a hard time putting this book down even to go to sleep. The story is compelling and beautifully character driven. I hope author will make this a series.

Grapes Are Juicy yes!!!: I give this novel FIVE STARS ! This novel is worth reading from the beginning to the end! The plot and conflicts in this story are very smartly integrated. The language facility is a little odd , but i guess this was done on purpose, given the novel's set era. Other than that, this should definit...

Alkira Joan: Great story, I found it hard to read especially the dialogue. You just need to fix up some spelling errors and the gramma .I enjoyed this book. was a little hard to get though.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.,, , , , ,.,, , , , , , , ,., , ,.,,,,,

rudyoxborough46: An action-packed, mystical adventure awaits anyone wishing to read this novel. I’m amazed at how well you’ve managed to flesh out the characters in this book, and I hope to read more of your work.I’ve read books about goblins and elves and all that mumbo-jumbo before, and most accounts of these c...

kwilliams: I am an avid reader, and I do mean AVID and few indie authors capture my attention the way you have. I absolutely fell in love with these characters and their story. I'm usually not a fan of the cliff hanger endings (be it a series or not), but this one made me download the Kindle app just so I c...

jessiehs: This was absolutely amazing. I loved how it went back and forth between perspectives. I actually cried at the end I was so happy. This was amazing. I can't even think of another word to describe it. Thank you for writing his.

mullikin902: Do not start reading this book unless you have enough time to finish it in one sitting, because you will not be able to put it down! Superlative! Addictive! Deliciously wicked characters you can't get enough of. Impatiently waiting for the sequel!

maewilde25: I am so in love with this story!!! captivated me till the very end, there wasn't a dull moment. Didn't particularly enjoy the lay out and some bits of info was missing along with how a 21 year old man amassed so much wealth that needed to be explained other than that and a few spelling errors, th...

Laraine Smith: Your story is both sweet and beautiful! You are a true artist! Keep up the great work! I also love the picture that you chose for your book! :)

More Recommendations

Giuliana Cassetta: My face is full of tears, I never cried like now with a book or even a movie. I loved every single chapter. I truly don't know what to say, I'm out of words and my eyes hurt from crying. Such an bittersweet story, it's so wonderful. One of my favorites for sure. Keep it up!

maewilde25: I liked this, though it dragged on for over 200pages and heaven knows I did not expect the plot twist in the middle. David being Cristiãn. I was wondering when he would show up and didn't know he was there all along. it looks like there should be a sequel, please let there be a sequel. I know the...

zoheusher20: What more can I say? The writing style and little details drew me into the book and for the entirety of the story I was Juliet. I felt her turmoil and emotions and every trouble or triumph as they arrived. This story was very different and had quite a few little but unexpected twists that made it...

Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

Jennifer Kane Martin: I am a high school teacher, and the dialogue and inner thoughts are PERFECT. However, the lack of capitalization, punctuation, and the typos are distracting. Don't let these get in the way of a potentially good story.

Stephen Warner: To start off, I am thoroughly impressed. The writing style is somewhat unique, and the plot seemed to move at a nice and steady pace. However, I was not expecting this to be a vampire book! I am usually not one for novels about vampires, but I was pleasantly surprised! You wrote with such grace a...

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.