Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
Joanne Sexton would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

American Woman

By Joanne Sexton All Rights Reserved ©

Erotica / Romance

Extract

I feel as if I’m wasted

Darkness and light tango across the ceiling when wind strip searches trees, blocking the streetlight’s glow when the bluster sways branches. The eerie shapes skittering overhead would be frightening if I was a child, or if I allowed my imagination to take hold.

Instead, lying in the darkness, they are soothing somehow. I shiver as the howling outside mimics the shadows stretching in front of me.

The snoring besides me escalates, and I sigh. I love Alex, in my own way. As much as I can love him. It isn’t his fault our relationship is mundane and our sex life so routine. It took both of us to destroy the foundation of our life together. He can’t read minds.

Glancing over at his sleeping form my disappointment is a prevalent emotion. The usual jack-hammering of hurried sex left me unsatisfied again. The aroma of our coupling lingers. Sweat, and the faint trace of my arousal which never came to fruition.

The experience has left me raw and wanting more, a craving unfulfilled. I remember when sensuality and passion resided in our bed. Hot kisses, warm tongues and moans of unbridled ecstasy are all ghosts of the past. Things could be different. Why am I still here?

What bound me to him: loyalty, friendship, love? Alexander came into my life when I needed guidance, love and unconditional acceptance. For the most part he provided all this. If I am honest with myself, it probably isn’t his fault at all. I’ve retreated as I always do. He believes things are the same. He believes my happy facade. Ignorance is bliss. I doubt that when the time comes he will be surprised.

His restless slumber brings his face close to mine. A wave of dark hair flops across his face and I feel compelled, for the briefest of moments, to push it back. As I once had. Why did it always go this way? The unfulfilled feeling always came, as though something was amiss, like something was absent from my life. Alex no longer filled the void. I’m almost sure I am no longer who he wants either. We continue out of habit. I will miss him when he’s gone.

Sighing again I decide to get up. Insomnia will ensure I remain restless tonight. I leave the house dark as I tiptoe down the hall and out to my favourite room.

An enclosed back porch the length of the house with a picketed fence and clear plastic shades provide protection from the elements and a quiet comfort.

A wooden three-seater swing sits against the wall, my guitar propped beside it. Perhaps scribbling music and lyrics for my acoustic treasure will soothe me. Melancholy and bliss, the two ends of the emotional spectrum provide the best fodder for song. One of them is on the menu this evening.

Grabbing lined music paper and a pencil I go and sit, swinging for a bit, waiting for my muse. A chord forms in my mind so I pick up my classical guitar and strum. As the tune comes to me I hum it as I write out the notes. After the second play through the words shape with the music.

I sing out the blues for the third and final time. I have written better, and of course much worse, but it heals, it helps. Goodbye to you, Alexander. I try to recall the happier times, the beginning and the memories sit far in my mind, out of reach. Retrieving the folder containing my scribbled songs from the ground beside me, I shuffle through. If I play a song I wrote back then, when Alex became my world, maybe the lost hope could be restored. Simply called ‘Alexander’, the song emanated all the passion and thrills of new love I’ve forgotten how to feel.

As I sing I visualise his cupid’s bow mouth and ruffled hair. The sexy way jeans hug his hips, the smile which produces a dimple in one cheek, and his cleft chin. Lust without love crams my empty chest. A thudding heart produces the desire I didn’t experience when his urgent hands initiated his quick release. My well-timed moans and feigned interest helped him along. How is it the thought of sex with him produced fire in my loins, when the action could not?

Putting down my guitar I place the new song into the folder before throwing it to the floor. The wind blows at the blinds surrounding me, producing a light thud.

Laying back on the swing I allow the rocking and steady lull of the wind to relax my lust filled senses. I will miss him, I know this much at least.
Alex could be thoughtful when he made the effort. His humour will be hard to forget. His teasing and quick wit will be what I shall miss most. Will he protest when I ask him to leave, or accept the inevitable? We both can’t go on denying that the fun, the fire, the love has faded.

Arguments and heated battles form the majority of our communication. Discontent over each others faults overshadow the spark of infatuation. We rarely share anything, our interests segregated. His love of sports, and mine of stillness and music, collide. Opposites no longer attract. Relief and sadness wage a war inside me.

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, Joanne Sexton
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

Hudson: Your story was fantastic Erin! The Rising Sun was one of the first stories I read on Inkitt, and I have to say I don't regret the three to four days I spent pouring through the story.Probably the biggest strength I see in your writing is your characterisation of Eliana, Oriens, and the rest of th...

Elise Faith: I found this story sensual, captivating and honest. I enjoyed the use of crude language, it made me able to relate to the character more. The idea, however unoriginal was well executed and the story is delivered clean and crisp as the characters themselves are.

Dessie Williams: loved the book. the plot the characters all just great.I think it's a must read. once you start this book it's hard to put down. hope it gets published....I think this book is a must read.great job!!!!

Jennifer Sibley Jannise: So, I originally read the book because my daughter asked me to. However, I read it in 2 days and thoroughly enjoyed it. It is well written and thought out. If the author writes and publishes any more books, I would definitely read them.

Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

christylynnr5: This was beyond amazing! Its plot was so unique! It was a beautiful romance story with a mystery twist! I can't believe it ended the way it did!!!! There HAS to be a second book!! This needs to be published and made into a series!

emmaneal74: I loved this booked. Would definitely buy it when published and read it again. The story flowed in such a way I just couldn't put it down. I was never confused about the characters or their roles in the story which can happen sometimes with so many lead. I'd recommend this to anyone wanting to r...

SandraHan1: This story is very descriptive, with vivid scenes from the very beginning, which made for a good scene setting. I love the symbolism in names, such as “Naysayers”, “Hadd”, etc . The story itself is revolutionary, intriguing, emotional and exciting. I was very pleased to see that there is a happy ...

SPepper: I had a hard time putting this book down even to go to sleep. The story is compelling and beautifully character driven. I hope author will make this a series.

More Recommendations

mullikin902: Do not start reading this book unless you have enough time to finish it in one sitting, because you will not be able to put it down! Superlative! Addictive! Deliciously wicked characters you can't get enough of. Impatiently waiting for the sequel!

spec4huff: Thank you for creating this world. I am a 6'3" veteran that thinks himself tough. But the piece of literature you have created made me misty eyed on a number of occasions. I want a love like this. Thank you again, I would totally buy this book and hopefully the sequels to this ever enchanting lov...

Lauren Sanby: This is an excellent story. Very gripping and keeps your attention throughout. Hoping the author is writing a sequel because I'd love to read more about Rhi and Andreas and find out what else Rhi is able to do with her powers.

maryahbeebe66: OMG I fell in love with the story and how the characters fall into place. I'm really excited to read more into the story and hope there's a sequel to it. My fav characters are Dylan and Laila. Your doing a great job keep it up 👏🏾

catd69: Karim is a very talented writer. When I started reading his journey it took me into the book and I was in the story till the end. I've never felt this way with any other writers stories. If you want to read a gripping adventure, this will be the one book I would suggest you pick.

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.