Waiting is always painful for me.
I don’t like waiting for anyone or anything and I never have.
I’m the type of person who doesn’t like it when people show up late for something that's been planed. I don’t even like having to wait a week for a new episode of a TV show.
I guess I’m a hypocrite since I keep people waiting more than not.
Still, I’m not patient enough to wait. Especially not in a pressuring situation.
I get nervous and become impulsive and reckless.
My mind wanders and all I can think about is a bunch of questions that swirl around in my head.
I hate waiting.
Seconds turn to minutes and minutes turn to hours. I still don’t know where I am.
It feels like I’ve been here forever.
My mind is driving me wild.
What if Skyler doesn’t come? What will happen to me then?
Even if he does come what will happen? Would it be better if he doesn’t come for me?
Should I hope that he ignored whatever Demetri said to him? What did Demetri really say to him anyways?
Is he really coming? What’s going to happen to him when he does come?
Why is this even happening in the first place?
I can’t take this.
I really can’t take this.
Demetri is gawking at me from the other side of the room. Even in the dim lighting I can still see the outline of him pretty well.
He waves at me in a mocking manner.
I hope this stupid ass drops dead right now.
I don’t normally wish death on anyone, but that’s the best case scenario I can hope for at the moment. I’m scared and I’m angry. Even if I wouldn’t normally think this way, I can’t help but wish for something so cruel. At this moment I really think he truly deserves it.
More time passes by. I can’t tell exactly how long since there is nothing here that shows me what time it is.
My stomach hurts though informing me that I’m hungry which means it’s been awhile since I last ate something. I close my eyes as I try to ignore the pain; not only in my stomach, but also the shooting pain that constantly throbs through my whole face and head.
“I hope Skyler kicks your ass when he gets here!” I shout out, wincing slightly as the pain in my head/face gets worse.
I can’t help but want to scream and shout even if it does no good.
I open my eyes to see that the distance between me and Demetri has lessened. He’s walking towards me with a menacing look on his face. He says something that I can’t quite catch and then I see his friend walk quickly out of the room.
I panic as he comes closer and closer until he’s nearly breathing on me.
“You want to say that again you little whore?” His lips move in a quick and curled up manner.
Even though I know I should shake my head and keep quiet, I can’t. “I said I hope Skyler kicks your ass, you fucking psychopath!” I scream right in his face.
I see his fist coming towards me, and I feel it’s impact as it connects with my mouth. I can taste the nasty metallic flavor of blood as it drips inside my mouth.
Demetri’s face is close to mine as I look down to watch his hands move to untie the ropes. I look back up just as me opens his mouth.
His eyes are emotionless as his lips move angrily. “Dammit Risa, look at what you made me do! I’ve been nothing, but good to you. I didn’t want to do any of this. I didn’t want to have to snatch you off the street. I didn’t want to have to hurt you. You leave me no choice though. It’s all your fault that I’m like this! Can’t you see that? Come to your senses and behave or else it’s only going to be worse on you.”
I open my mouth to reply just as he unties the last rope. My mouth closes instantly as Demetri snatches me up from the chair and pushes me to the ground. “Be a good girl now, Risa.” He says as his hand reaches towards the zipper of my shorts.
My first instinct is to fight rather than to try to talk my way out of the situation. I grab his hair with one hand and hit at his face with the other. I tug hard at his hair while getting a few good hits at his face. It’s not enough. It doesn’t take long for him to pin my hands up above my head with only one of his hands.
I curse at him as I try my best to break through his grip, but all I can do is struggle to get free. He’s stronger than me. I hate that.
Demetri is clearly angry at me as he grabs my chin roughly with his free hand. “What did I fucking tell you? I told you to behave, but you can’t seem to do that can you? I think I need to teach you a lesson.” I read the words off him lipa feeling disgusting immediately by them.
His nails dig into the skin around my chin before me lets go. His other hand still holds my arms down as he straddles over my waist. He reaches down to pull my shirt up.
I feel tears drip down my face as the skin of my lower stomach is exposed to the damp air. His hand snakes up the skin that’s still covered until he reaches my breast. I instantly hate myself when I feel his hand grope at my chest. I feel dirty and helpless all because of him.
“Stop!” I cry out as I try my best to get free of him again.
He glares down at me while shaking his head. His hand gives another squeeze to my breast before he slips it out from under my shirt. Instead he now starts to unbutton and unzip my shorts. After that he slides them down my legs, towards my ankles.
I feel humiliated and embarrassed. What he’s doing isn’t okay.
I keep struggling, screaming no; screaming for him to stop, but he doesn’t listen.
“Keep still. It’s not like we haven’t fooled around before.” Demetri’s lips move before I see him smirk at me knowingly.
Sure, when we were together we had slept together multiple times. That wasn’t the same though.
Not the same at all.
He’s trying to force himself on me unwillingly, yet he expects me to be okay with that just because I’ve had sex with him in the past?
No. It’s not okay. It will never be okay for him to do something like this towards me.
The minute I feel his fingers brush against my underwear, I can’t keep calm. All I see is red as I struggle even harder against him.
I don’t want this! I will not allow him to do this to me!
He seems a bit caught off guard by this new found strength I have. I take the opportunity to jab my knee as hard as I can into his groin area. My knee hits its target at full force.
Demetri’s mouth opens in a painful way. He immediately let’s go of me as he doubles over next to me.
I don’t even hesitate to get up. I feel dizzy as I stand. I wobble a little as I start to run, but it doesn’t matter. As long as I can get out of here I’ll be okay. Yes, I just need to focus on leaving this place.
I make my way quickly across the room. When I open the door light shines in my face. I had thought I was in a room, but now I realized I was really in what looks like an old shed.
I instantly meet the eyes of Demetri’s friend the one who had grabbed me back when I was walking to school. He’s quick to grab me again. His ugly face is twisted up in anger. I don’t even know him yet he seems just as angry at me as Demetri.
I struggle again ignoring the pain that shoots through me as I kick and hit at this guy with all I have.
Eventually he throws me over his shoulder with me still screaming and hitting him. I look up to see a truck pull up followed by several police cars.
First the police officers get out of their vehicles. They all point their guns at us. One of them yells out something, but I’m not sure what.
Demetri’s friend puts me down but holds me in front of him like a shield. From the corner of my eye Demetri furiously makes his way out of the shed though the look on his face changes when the guns point to him.
Skyler jumps out of his truck. The police officers seem to yell at him probably telling him not to get involved.
Skyler looks angry as he runs towards us anyways. Demetri takes a threatening step towards Skyler. He pulls out a pocket knife from his pocket flicking the blade out before lunging towards Skyler.
My eyes widen in horror.
One of the police officers fires his gun.
Next thing I know Skyler and Demetri are both on the ground.
Demetri’s friend let’s go of me and runs back into the shed. I’m left confused until I see the pool of blood forming around both boys.
I can’t help but scream as I run towards them. A female police officer intercepts me. She grabs me and pulls me towards her car but I can’t help but fight her.
“No! Let me go! I need to know if he’s okay! Tell me that my boyfriend is okay! Skyler has to be okay!” I scream as loud as I can.
The police officer tries to calm me down, but I can’t be calmed at this moment. I read her lips as she tells me that an ambulance is on its way.
On its way for who? Me? Skyler? Demetri? I want to ask, but I fear the answer.
She holds on tightly to me.
All I can do again is wait.
When the ambulance arrives it’s not only one ambulance. It’s accompanied by two other ambulances all with lights flashing. Before I can see anything I’m ushered into the back of the first ambulance. Not long after the door closes the ambulance is driving down the long unknown road. One of the EMTs checks my vitals and another one seems to be checking my wounds.
I start to feel dizzy again. My eyes start to close. The last thing I think about before I black out is Skyler.
I open my eyes to see nothing by white. White walls. White floors. White sheets. There are tubes sticking out of my body. I follow them until my eyes catch sight of the machines and the IV bag to the right of the bed that I’m laying on. I move to sit up. Pain shoots through my head. I reach up to feel a bandage wrapped around the front of my forehead, winding all the way behind my head.
I realize a bit late that my mom is seated on the left side of me. She’s crying as she reaches out to touch my hand.
I feel a bit of guilt for causing her trouble again, but my minds fuzzy at the moment so I can’t quite remember where I am or what happened.
It takes a bit before everything sinks in. I have flash backs of what happened.
Demetri and his friend kidnapping me this morning- Demetri trying to violate me,- Me attempting to escap- Skyler and the police arriving- the knife- the guns- blood. It’s all coming back to me.
I ignore the pain as I move my hands frantically. “Mom! What happened to Skyler? Is he okay?!” I sign in a rush as I look at her.
She holds up a finger to tell me to wait a minute. She then gets up and leaves without answering my question. I can’t help but try to get up as well, but the moment my feet hit the floor my butt hits the bed. I’m not stable enough to move so quickly.
My heart beats fast as I wait for her to come back. She doesn’t. Instead someone else comes back in her place.
Tears fill my eyes as I take in the sight of Skyler. He’s in a hospital gown but he looks okay. His eyes are also filled with tears as he closes the distance from the door to the bed.
“Don’t you ever scare me like that again. I was shaking so badly when that asshole called me. I thought he was going to kill you. He told me he was planning on killing you and then committing suicide. He didn’t tell me exactly where he brought you, but he hinted to what road the shed was on. I figured it out before calling the police and telling them too. I wasn’t supposed to come, but I had to. I just had to.” He signs to me.
After his hands stop moving I can’t help but reach out to touch him to make sure he’s really here.
When I saw the blood I honestly thought I lost him.
I don’t even have to ask what I really want to. He’s already signing again before I can even think of how to phrase anything. “I’m okay. Demetri only caught the side of me with the knife before they... I mean, it’s only a scratch. I’m okay. The police insisted that I needed to be checked out as well. Not because of the scratch, but psychologically...” His eyes seem distant.
“What happened?” I speak out loud as I use my hands to gesture.
Skyler looks down and bites his lip. After a moment he looks at me with an expression I’ve never seen before. “Demetri’s dead...The bullet hit him in the side of the head which killed him. I didn’t know until I was in the ambulance covered in blood that wasn’t my own.” He whispers out.
Is it wrong that I feel relieved?
Is it wrong that I had wished for him to die earlier?
Is it wrong that I don’t feel saddened by this at all?
I don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore. All I know is that I’m safe and Skyler is safe. That’s all that matters right now. As long as we’re both okay it’ll be alright.
Or at least that’s what I hope, but something in Skyler’s expression startles me.
Skyler hugs me carefully before walking out of the room without saying anything else.
We’re both alive, but why does it feel like something is terribly wrong? Why does it feel like nothing is really okay?