Chapter 21: The Thin Line Between Selfish and Selfless
I wake up to the loud chiming sound my phone makes when I get a notification.
My blurry eyes glance to see my alarm clock reads 3:02 am.
I utter curses under my breath; cursing myself for being such a light sleeper and for forgetting to put my phone on silent before going to bed and also cursing at whatever caused my phone to make such a sound that would disturb my precious sleep.
I reach up to grab my phone off my nightstand, unplugging it from it’s charger.
I nearly blind myself from the brightness of my phone. I quickly turn the brightness level down and allow my tired eyes to adjust to the screen.
I have not one or two, but three text messages- all from Silas.
“I only stopped Levi from seeing the note because he would have flipped out but I still think you need to tell your parents about it”
“Why haven’t you told them?”
“Also, I can’t sleep so entertain me”
Can he get anymore annoying?
I tap the bottom on the top of my alarm clock twice causing it to light up like a small lamp. I then click on the camera app and activate the front camera. My hair is a mess and my face is an equal expression of tiredness and annoyance but I don’t care. With one hand I give a one finger salute as I use the other to take the picture.
I send the picture to Silas quickly following up with, “entertain yourself with this, you weirdo”.
I then silence my phone before plugging it back into the charger, turning the light off, and rolling over to try to go back to sleep.
Of course like a curse sleep doesn’t instantly come. After thirty minutes of just laying here I end up rolling onto my stomach and pressing my face into the pillow in exasperation.
The words from Silas’ second text repeat over and over again in my head.
Why haven’t you told them?
It’s not like I haven’t thought of telling them or that I didn’t want to tell them. It’s just that every time I think of telling them I’m reminded of the time I was bullied in middle school and how much of an effect it had on my mom. She took it harder than I did. Back then she would cry every night because she felt like it was her fault and as if she couldn’t do anything to help me.
Honestly getting bullied was horrible but it wasn’t nearly as horrible as seeing my mom breakdown over it. I don’t even like thinking about it.
Maybe I’m being selfish or maybe it’s the opposite but all I know is that I never want that to happen again. I rather keep this burden all to myself than for her to find out.
After what must be hours of being awake, I finally feel myself drift off to sleep.
I only sleep for what feels like minutes before my alarm clock goes off.
I let out a groan as I sit up, trying to fight off the urge to go back to sleep.
“Silas is so dead.”
“I said I was sorry. I promise I won’t text you again that early in the morning.” Silas says as I pour bleach into a beaker. “Next time I’ll just break into your backyard and throw rocks at your window.”
I spill some of the bleach onto our table as I shoot Silas a glare.
Silas throws his hands up in surrender. “It was a joke.” He then starts to wipe up the bleach with one of the many paper towels at our table.I roll my eyes. “Don’t joke about something that you’d actually most likely end up doing.” I mumble.
“I wouldn’t actually do that, don’t be stupid.” He replies back.
I raise an eyebrow at him in disbelief. “You picked the lock on my door and sneaked into my room when you and Levi were staying at my house while both our parents were on a cruise.” I remind him.
Silas waves a hand at me dismissively. “Anyways, speaking of locks,” He pauses to pull his iPhone out of this pocket of his jeans. “check out my new lock screen.” He presses the side button on his phone causing the phone to light up, displaying the not so grasiou picture I had sent him when early this morning when he woke me up with his dumb texts.
I open my mouth prepared to curse him out but before I can the teacher yells at Silas to put away his phone and yells at me for not paying attention to the experiment we’re supposed to be going.I honestly wish the teacher would just go ahead and resign partners because then I wouldn’t have Silas as my chemistry partner which would mean I would have better luck ignoring him during class.
Why did our teacher have to assign lab partners based on alphabetical order? If only Rodriguez and Whittenbeck weren’t right next to each other on the attendance list...
After chemistry the rest of the school day goes by pretty smoothly.
When school ends I wait near Levi’s locker. Levi had texted me right when the bell had rang asking me to wait there since he had to talk after class to his teacher for a few minutes.
Silas waits next to me with my backpack slung over his shoulder and a hand around my waist keeping me stable since it’s hard for me to stand for long while still on crutches.
While waiting a not so friendly face decided to stop right in front of us.
“I need to talk to you.” Colby says looking slightly nervous.
I tense up a bit. Not only does this guy make me feel extremely uncomfortable but for all I know he could be the one behind the note and the trashing of my locker. “I don’t need to talk to you.” I mutter out as I look away from him.
Colby grabs onto the crutch closest to it, pulling on it slightly. “No, I really really need to talk to you now.”
I feel myself start to lose balance though thankfully Silas’ holds me up.
“Knock it off Colby. She says she doesn’t want to talk to you.” Silas says as he narrows his eyes in a glare.
Colby lets go of my crutch and instead directs his attention towards Silas. “Shut up Silas. I don’t need to listen to you after what you did.” He snaps.
What he did? What is that supposed to mean? Weren’t these two friends? I can’t help but glance curious from Silas to Colby and then back to Silas. I can definitely feel a tense and aggressive atmosphere between these too.
After an awkward moment of silence Colby lets out a sarcastic sounding laugh. “Besides, what are you her keeper or something?” He asks in a taunting tone sounding almost like he’s talking down to a child or something.
“No, I’m not her keeper.” Silas says.
I nod. “That’s right. He’s not my keeper!” I chime in.
“I’m her boyfriend. So get lost.” Silas then says.
Out of excitement of Silas telling Colby off I didn’t completely process just exactly what he had said until I had began to repeat it myself, “That’s right. He’s my boyfriend so get los- wait what?”
What the heck. Did he really just lie saying that he's my boyfriend?
My heart skips a beat for moment probably due to shock.
Colby frowns as he seems like he wants to say something more but his eyes look past us for a moment before the expression on his face seems to change like he just saw a ghost or something. Without saying anything he turns around and rushes down the hall.
“What’s his problem?” Silas mutters.
Before I can respond I notice Levi standing next to Silas.
He quickly pulls my backpack off of Silas’ shoulder. He then reaches over to remove Silas’ hand from my waist. His face is blank without any visible emotion as he stares at me for a moment before saying, “Rin, let’s go.”
The three of us walk towards the student parking lot. Once we get to Levi’s truck, Levi helps me up into it and buckles my seat belt for me.
“Hey, can you drop me off at home before you take Rin to her doctor appointment?” Silas asks.
Without even seeming to give it a second thought Levi shakes his head. “Nope. No time for that. Walk home.”
Silas’ lips tug downwards and he furrows his brows. “What? It’ll only take a few minutes.” He argues.
“I’m not a taxi. Buy your own damn vehicle if you don’t want to walk.” Levi deadpans before getting into the drivers side of the truck. He starts the car and then backs up before slowly pulling out of the parking lot.
I look out the window to see Silas standing there by himself looking like a lost puppy. I then look towards Levi to see his jaw is clenched and his hands are gripping the stirring wheel so tight.
How on earth did I get stuck with one really angry looking baby blanket?