Chapter 23: Our First Kiss VS Our Second Kiss
I had planned to pull away after just a second but just as I try to, Levi’s hand moves to the back of my head applying not enough pressure to cause pain but just enough that it keeps me in place not allowing me to pull my face away from his.
The kiss is so gentle and chaste. It’s more like multiple little kisses rather than one big one. At first he doesn’t deepen the kiss. He just kisses in tiny shallow pecks like he’s slowly taking his time and cherishing each second that goes by.
I can’t help but think back to three years ago to the only other time we kissed. Back then I had been the one to instigate a kiss between us, not because I had feelings but because I just was curious of what it would be like to kiss someone.
Well, actually that’s only partly true. I had been curious but at the same time I also had another reason for wanting to kiss Levi back then. It had been only a year since my first kiss with Silas. That first kiss had been traumatizing due to the increase of bullying I experienced after. I thought if I kissed someone else it would overwrite that feeling, however it didn’t exactly work out that way.
Kissing Levi was something I have regretted for the last three years. Not only was it wrong of me to kiss him for no reason like that but it just was overall a horrible experience. It had only been a quick peck but it felt slimy and gross, like I had just committed some type of sin. That’s why our first kiss was definitely another traumatizing kissing experience for me.
This time is different though.
I don’t feel grossed out or bad about it like the last time.
Actually, at first I feel rather neutral about this kiss. I don’t dislike it but I don’t really like it either; however the longer he kisses me I start to notice that the small innocent little kisses have slowly become less frequent as he kisses me with more vigor.
I start to feel strange. My head seems fuzzy and there’s a weird feeling, not in my chest but instead in my stomach. It like it’s flipping over and over again like a pancake.
I can’t think clearly. I never intended to actually respond back to his kiss but with my mind all clouded up I start to instinctively kiss him back.
Without warning something touches my bottom lip. After a moment I realize it’s Levi’s tongue. I firmly tap my hands against his shoulder trying to let him know that this is too much. Levi just grabs my hand with his free one and pulls it around to rest on the back of his neck.
A phone starts ringing startling us both.
Levi’s grip on the back of my head weakens. He’s probably stunned from the sudden sound. I take this as an opportunity to finally pull away from him.
I grab my phone off the floor. “Incoming call from: Momma” is brightly displayed on it. I press the green answer button before bringing the phone up to my right ear.
“Hi mom.” I say, trying to keep my voice even.
“Rin Hanna Rodriquez where are you and what are earth are you doing? You should have been home by now.” I wince hearing my mom say my full name as she scolds me.
Is there anyone who doesn’t immediately die a little inside when their parents call out their full name like that? I would really like to meet that person and know their secret, because I surely get my full name called way too often and it’s never a good thing.
I hesitate for a moment as I try to think of something to say.
“Oh, you know nothing out of the normal. Levi and I were just stopped on the side of the road kissing a second ago.” I sarcastically think to myself but I do not dare say that as I’m pretty sure that will not go over well. Instead I lie saying that I was hungry so we stopped to get something to eat and that we’re just no leaving the restaurant and will be home soon.
As I continue to speak on the phone with my mom, my eyes lock with Levi’s. He’s leans over me still as he now buckles up my seat belt.
His lips are close to mine like he’s going to try to kiss me again. I turn my head away, looking out the window.
My heart beats fast probably from the anxiety of having him so close while I’m on the phone with my mom.
Not long after I’m buckled up, I hear the sound of Levi buckling up his own seat belt before he puts the car back into drive, pulling back onto the road.
“I’m sorry, Rin. I know I said the feelings would stop if we kissed but I was wrong. I couldn’t sleep all night because I kept kept thinking about it. It just confirmed even more that I really am in love with you.” Levi says as soon as he stops the call next to the driveway of my house.
I feel a sharp pain in my chest.
I’m silent as I stare at my hands, purposely not looking at Levi. I feel a bit nervous but mostly awkward. I don’t know how to reply to what he just said.
I guess I was naive to believe that things could just go back to normal that easily.
I should have known better than to trust the words of a teenage boy saying that all I had to do is kiss him to make things go back to how it used to be, but I foolishly trusted those words because it wasn’t just a teenage boy who said them but because it was Levi.
No, actually It doesn’t matter if I trusted things would go back to normal or not because even I don’t think I would be able to just suddenly pretend like nothing happened.
Even though I’m not directly looking at him, out of the corner of my eye I can see Levi unbuckle his seat belt before leaning towards me.
I expect him to unbuckle my seat belt but instead I feel his fingers gently graze against the side of my face. My eyes instantly snap to his.
Levi smiles softly as he says, “Rin, I really love you.”
I notice his lips are only a few inches from mine and I can feel his breath on my face as he inches even closer.
Is he going to kiss me again?
Feeling anxious I close my eyes tightly but sharply turn my head to the side.
Right as I turn my head I hear a loud bang of something hitting the window before the passenger side door then opens up quickly with a forceful yank.