Chapet 34: Early Morning Is Exhausting
My eyes glance over at Levi.
He’s standing in the street wearing a baseball cap and a pair of blue gym shorts. He’s shirtless. In the dim glow of the street lamps he seems to shine but I know that it’s probably just the way the little bits of light reflecting on his sweat making it glisten.
Sweat is gross, but why does he almost make it look good?
My face flushes as I force myself to look away.
What is he doing out here at this time?
I forgot he goes running everyday in the morning. He usually runs at an even earlier time on weekdays but usually I’m sleeping in on weekends so I didn’t know he would be out running at this time.
He smiled as he walks over and sits down next to me on the porch step.
“Good morning.” He’s breathing is heavy probably because he was just running but he still sounds bright and chipper. “You’re up early.”
I focus my eyes on anything but him as I nod. “Couldn’t sleep.” I murmur.
After I speak it’s quiet. It feels like it’s quiet for a long span of time but realistically only a few minutes probably have passed by.
Levi breaks the silence as he loudly speaks, “Sorry.”
“Huh?” I tilt my head to look at him finally. I make sure to focus on his face despite how aware I am about about his bare chest and the fact that he’s close enough that if I lean just slightly to the left our shoulders will touch.
“Sorry,” he repeats. “You texted me that last night and then stopped responding no matter how many times I responded back.” He then adds.
Yeah, I remember that. I guess I must have worried him by doing that.
“It was nothing really...” I trail off as I try to quickly think of what to say next. “I mean, it had nothing to do with what you sent. I just was feeling sorry that you had to leave practice to come help us.” I manage to lie as I advert my eyes from him yet again.
He leans close to me, reaching out his hand towards me. I'm as still as possible as he brushes little wisps of hairs behind my ear.
His bare chest is so close to me that it takes up my line of sight almost instantly.
What the hell. Why was I never this bothered by him being shirtless until this whole mess started? Now I feel like my hearts about to explode as my eyes scan over his muscles.
Without meaning to my eyes drift down taking in his abs before drifting down lower towards where they disappear below the hem of his athletic shorts...
"Rin?" Levi's calm voice right next to my ear makes me jump.
My face heats up as I realize where I was just staring at.
Jeez. When did I become such a deviant.
I blame Silas. Hanging out with that pervert obvious has had some sort of influence on me. That's the only way to explain this.
I turn away from Levi. My back is to him as I fan my hands towards them trying to cool off my heated cheeks.
“Rin, look at me.” I hear him say softly.
I shake my head. “I don’t want to.” I reply back.
"You love me, right?" He asks quietly.
I freeze. There's a sensation of sharp pain in the middle of my chest as I hold my breath, feeling unable to breath properly for some reason.
He speaks again, "I mean even if it might not be romantic feelings of love you still obviously have some feelings of love for me, right?"
I feel relieved by those words. I let out a shaky breath before slowly nodding my head. "Of course. You're my best friend."
He seems to hesitate for a moment before saying, "Would you feel the same way even if I might have done something bad?"
I'm confused as I turn towards him now not caring if my cheeks are still flushed or not. I tilt my head to the side, peering up at him from beneath my eyelashes. "Do you need help disposing of a body or something because I know some places." I try to keep my tone serious but I can't help but crack a smile at my own unfunny joke. It's clear I'm not taking him serious but that's only because Levi's the type to call copying homework as 'doing something bad'.
He rolls his eyes at me. "Not THAT bad. You're more likely to need help hiding a body then I am." He muttered with a shake of his head.
I press my hand over my heart faking a hurt expression. "Why do you have to expose me with that kind of truth like that? Your brother better watch out because he might be my first and only victim." I continue to joke around but regret it after I finished speaking since Levi gives me a look that makes it obvious that he's not in the mood for my dumbass jokes.
"Rin, please answer seriously. What would you do if you found out something bad about me? Would you still think of me that way or would you be disappointed and not want to be around me again?" He seems desperate to know what my answer is.
I tap the fingers of my right hand on my leg as I try to think. "Depends what you did. If you hurt someone in anyways then I don't know how I'd feel then but other than that I don't think there's any other thing you could do that would cause me to not want you around anymore." I answer honestly. "Besides, it's not like you ever do anything that's really that bad anyways. You're not that type of person. That's what I like about you. That's why you're my best friend because you're sensitive, kind, and care so much about others."
"You shouldn't say things like that," He murmurs as he leans in close to me again, my eyes dangerously noticing his body again with how close it is to me. "or I might just do something bad."
His hand moves to the side of my face before he leans in close as if he's going to kiss me.
We don't kiss though.
He just presses his forehead to mine as he stares at me with eyes that give off a bittersweet expression.
Yet again I feel like I can't breathe.
The way he stares at me at such a close distance like this feels intense and intimate but not in a good way.
Something seems off. Something feels wrong.
It's like an alarm in my head keeps going off reminding me that this isn't like the Levi that I've known for so long.
I can't take it anymore.
I scoot back from him before getting up. "You know, I think I'm suddenly tired now." I say before rushing back inside the house.
As soon as I close the door I press my back against it and let out a heavy breath.
What was that?