Chapter 44: Probably Not Normal, But It's Our Normal
Also, I’ve been meaning to say this for a while but thank you to those who read this story. I appreciate all of you!
The phone rings barely once before I hear Silas’ husky voice speaking at a fast pace, “Rin, where are you now? I’m walking down the hallway now and I don’t see you.”
As he speaks I look behind me to see Colby following after me. He must have recovered pretty fast.
I quicken my pace as I say out in a rush,“Meet me at the front of the school quickly. Now!”
“What-” I hear Silas start to say but I hang up.
Either I’m out of shape or Colby is just fast because I can hear him behind me and it seems like he’s way too close by. If I stop for even a moment he’ll probably catch me and I don’t know what will happen then.
As soon as I get to the front steps of the school building Colby catches up, grabbing onto the back of my shirt while calling me some pretty brutal slurs.
Clearly I regret my decision to use Colby to continue to avoid Levi.
I can fight him off myself if I have to but luckily I see Silas burst through one of the double doors which makes me feel relived.
“What is going...” He starts to ask a question, probably asking me what is going on but his words trail off as he spots Colby. “Take that filthy hand off of her before I break it off and shove it down your throat.” He directly towards Colby in a low and icy tone.
To my surprise Colby lets go of my shirt. He takes a few steps back. He looks scared. It doesn’t stop him from calling out as he retreats, “You know what, I changed my mind. Forget what I said Rin. You two are perfect for each other. A violent bitch and an obsessed creep. What a match made in heaven!”
“That sick little fuc-” Silas starts to say as he moves forward like he’s going to go after him. I grab his arm to stop him.
“It’s not worth it.” I say. My voice still breathy and my heart is beating a mile a minute but at this point it doesn’t matter. I’m just glad that Silas is here and that Colby is gone now.
Something still bothers me. I tried not to show it, but Colby’s comment about Silas’ photo gallery still stuck in my mind. What did he mean by that?
I glance at Silas.
He still looks angry and like if I let go of him that he’ll go storm off to beat the crap out of Colby.
“Can I see your phone?” I blurt out without meaning to.
The anger in Silas’ face seems to turn to confusion as he now glances down at me with his brow furrowed. “Why?” He asks.
“Just let me see your phone for a moment.” I tell him.
Silas seems to consider it but then he shakes his head. “First I think we should go home and you should explain to me exactly what just happened. If that lunatic even so much as laid a finger on you other than just grabbing your shirt then I swear I’m going to...” He doesn’t finish his last sentence but the look in his eyes tells me that whatever he’s thinking isn’t pretty.
I want to tell him to let me see his phone first but I know he’s right. We probably should leave first. I sigh as I nod. “Yeah, you’re right. I left your books by your locker though, shouldn’t we go put them away first?” I respond.
Silas shakes his head. “There are no books at my locker.” He says.
In confusion I tilt my head to the side. “But-” before I can finish speaking Silas holds out his phone to me.
I squint as I see it’s pulled up on a text conversation with his brother. I scan it. My eyes can’t help to read a small portion that looks like a fight before seeing at the bottom that there’s a message from five minutes ago that just says, “took your books to my locker- last time I clean up after you” then there’s another message after that says, “I know I don’t have the right to say this, but go find Rin right now or else something bad might happen”
My stomach feels in knots and my chest hurts again but I try to ignore the feeling. I just nod. “Let’s go home then...”
On the way home I explain to Silas everything that had happened from waiting at his locker up until he met me at the front steps of the school.
He doesn’t say a word but I can just tell that he’s fuming mad about the whole thing. I am too so it’s understandable.
When we get to my house I reluctantly check my mail box. No nasty notes like before. It seems like it just stopped at once as I found out that Levi was involved.
I’m relieved but at the same time it makes me feel worse in a way because it just makes the betrayal and disappointment I feel towards Levi even more hard to ignore. I want to keep convincing myself that things aren’t how they seem but I’m not dumb to think that the notes just coincidentally stopped showing up after finding out about Levi’s involvement.
When Silas and I enter by house no one’s home. My dad’s still at work and it seems from a note left on the door that my mom went out shopping.
We go up to my bedroom before I just want to wrap myself up in my big warm comforter and stare up at the ceiling and Silas just wants to be annoying and follow me up instead of going home.
Silas sits on the floor playing some game on his phone as I wrap myself up and lay down.
Just when I’m feeling comfortable I remember again what Colby had said- “And Silas, well you might want to check his photo gallery. The dude is seriously fucked in the head. Or did you already know that?”
It’s not like I trust Colby, but to be fair he’s not entirely wrong about Silas being kinda messed up in the head. I mean, I’ve been knowing that fact since we were kids. Pretty sure it’s because he fell out of the tree house once when he was eight. Literally knocked something loose inside his head.
Still, the mentioning of checking his photo gallery just gives me an off feeling. What is that about? What is on his photo gallery that Colby would know about and want to warn me for?
I roll myself closer to the edge of the bed before sitting straight up. I dangle my legs off the side of the bed right next to Silas.
“Can I see your phone now?” I ask.
Silas continues to play on his phone without looking at me as he replies back, “Why?”
“I want to see your photo gallery.” I respond.
I can see his body visibly tense up for a moment.
For a moment I think he’s going to refuse. Instead he seems to hesitate before exiting out of the game he’s playing. He then clicks the photo gallery app on his phone before handing it over to me. “If you’re checking for porn screenshots or something then you won’t find any. That’s what my laptop is for.” He mumbles.
I wrinkle my nose in disgust. “Thanks for sharing.” I say sarcastically.
Truthfully I don’t even know what I’m looking for or expecting to find.
I take a deep breath before peering down at the screen seeing the tiny boxes of rows of photos that make up what must be the most recent pictures in his gallery.
A picture of me sleeping. Some pictures me from when we went to the mall. The picture I sent him of me giving him the bird from the time he texted me early in the morning. A picture of his drum sticks. Candid pictures of me at school. A random shirtless mirror selfie of Silas. Then more pictures of me some I know about and others that I didn’t know he took.
His phone gallery is pretty much 98% pictures of me.
This would be more alarming if I hadn’t already known about his habit of taking pictures of me whenever he felt like it.
As I scroll I just find myself feeling bored. This is what Colby was going on about?
I mean sure it’s definitely weird but at the same time this is Silas we’re talking about. This is the same guy who admitted to supposedly becoming a player just to get my attention. Let’s not forget this is the same guy who picked the lock to the bedroom when our parents were away on a cruise. This is also the same guy who would harass me and touch me without my permission just to get a reaction out of me which obviously he’s reflected on after the last time I rammed my knee into his stomach. Still, I’m saying that this is nothing compared to the things I’m already well aware of when it comes to Silas.
It’s not like I don’t already know that he has issues when it comes to boundaries. Issues in which need to be fixed but I'm working on that slowly one thing at a time.
“Those photos of me. Delete them. All of them.” I sigh as I toss his phone back down to him.
Silas frowns. “What? All of them? Why? It’s not like they’re inappropriate.” He whines.
Yes, thankfully he’s not actually the type of person to have questionably inappropriate pictures of me unless you count the one of me in my sports bra flipping him off but I sent that to him so that’s on me.
I roll my eyes. “Then at least delete the ones that I didn’t know about. Jeez, if you were anyone else and you had all these photos I would think your were some perverted stalker. You’re just a plain pervert though which is something I already know so that’s why I’m not making a big deal about it.”
“I’m not a pervert.” Silas mumbles.
I lean over him to watch as he starts deleting some of the pictures.
“Colby made it sound like you had something really scandalous in your photo album. Why am I actually disappointed that there wasn’t anything mildly interesting?” I ask.
Silas’ head turns quickly towards me. “What? Colby? How would he- Shit. I forgot I let him borrow my phone before. That creepy bastard seriously went through my phone?”
“Are you in the position to be calling anyone creepy?” I deadpan. “No wonder he thought you were some obsessed psycho after seeing like 1,000 pictures of me saved onto your phone. I’m not surprised at this point but it would be shocking to most people.”
“It probably wouldn’t look so bad if I had more pictures of other things but I don’t take pictures of myself often or of other random things. Occasionally I’ll take a picture of me when I feel like it or something to do with the band or things I want to remember like stuff written on the board at school that I’m too lazy to write down. So yeah I guess if that makes me an obsessed psycho then so be it.
“Doesn’t everyone have something they constantly have photos of? The real psycho’s phone is full of baseball stuff and pictures of you too but you already probably know that and didn’t think it was weird before. I don’t know what’s on your phone but if I had to guess it’s probably filled with dumb memes and pictures of your keyboard or the school piano.”
I blink when he talks about the “real psycho”. It’s not that he actually thinks Levi is a psycho but that he probably just feels better or thinks I’ve feel better if he says it like that. It doesn’t make me feel better though. He’s still Silas’ brother so it just feels bad hearing him say that about him.
I can’t deny he makes a good point. Levi probably has the same amount of photos of me on his phone but because he has many other photos it doesn’t stand out. At the mention of what photos are on my phone
I can’t help but gasp out. Is this guy a psychic now? My phone is 100% filled with memes and keyboard/piano pictures. Maybe the occasional picture of something else here or there but basically a whole photo gallery of memes and the love of my life, those beautiful musical keys.
Silas continues to go on and on, “If you noticed the pictures of you span from recently to four years ago... I guess I started taking them after we stopped being friends because I didn’t know how else to handle it but then it just became a habit.” He stops deleting photos for a moment and instead looks at me with a sheepish expression on his face. “Every time I get a new phone I make sure the pictures get transferred. It’s hard to delete any of these because it feels like I saved up of memories that I felt like I would miss in these four years, but obviously if you want me to delete them then that’s what I’m doing.”
Alright. Alright. Now I just feel like a jerk.
I sigh. “Give me your phone again.” I say as I reach for it.
He hands it to me again but this time there’s no hesitation.
“I’ll delete the ones I don’t like and you can keep the rest.” I tell him as I start to go through his photos again.
As I scroll through for some reason I don’t have it in me to delete a single one of them. I just scroll and pretend like I’m deleting photos.
Out of the corner of my eye I can see Silas fidgeting as he watches me with his phone.
For some reason I can’t help the hint of a smile that threatens to show. I always love these moments where he seems to revert back to that side of him that I used to see all the time back when he were still best friends.
He’s cute. He’s still a weirdo but he’s a cute weirdo.
He’s my cute weirdo.
My face flushes as I realize what’s wrong with the thoughts in my head.
MY cute weirdo?! No. Absolutely not! Why did that word pop up in my head just now?
Feeling flustered I exit his photo gallery and reach to hand him back his phone.
He grabs my wrist instead of his phone and tugs me off the bed and straight onto his lap.
All signs of the cute fidgety Silas from like a second ago is gone as he smirks at me and wraps his arms around my waist.
“Did you think I wouldn’t notice that you were peering at me from beneath your eyelashes as you pretended like you were deleting pictures?” He whispers in my ear. “What were you thinking for your face to get so pink?”
“I was thinking about how much of a weirdo you are.” I squeak out a half truth.
His hold on me is so light that I could easily slip out of it if I wanted to but I don’t. Silas leans his face against my shoulder, letting out a soft sigh. He's back to being cute again.
Without meaning to I reach my hand up to pat his head. I can't resist the urge to run my fingers shallowly through the top of his soft hair.
Silas murmurs something so low that I wouldn't hear if I wasn't so hyper aware of his every move right now, "I love you so much that it hurts."
I feel like I can't breathe for a moment.
The words come out of my mouth before I can take them back, "Me too. I think I do too..."