Chapter 5: Why I Hate The King of Illicit Relationships
“Hey, I heard you kissed Levi.” Silas interrupts me while I’m playing my keyboard.
I shoot him a look of annoyance as I take my fingers off the keys. “Stop casually entering my room. Levi’s allowed but you’re not.”
Silas glares. “Why am I not allowed?” He asks.
“Because I don’t like you.” I bluntly reply as if that shouldn't be any more obvious to him.
He doesn’t look happy as he mumbles, “Well, screw you too.” He then shakes his head at me. “Wait, you changed the subject. Levi’s bragging to me about how you supposedly kissed him. What’s that about?” He demands to know.
I let out a groan. “It happened three years ago. At the time I just wanted to try kissing someone. It’s no big deal.” I tell him.
It really is no big deal. It was only a peck on the lips. I had been curious back then, since I had only one other kissing experience beforehand.
Either way, I didn’t enjoy the kiss with Levi. My heart didn’t speed up and my stomach didn’t flutter. It was just a cold and slimy feeling. I didn’t like it back then and I didn’t want to think about it even now.
Silas seems even less happy with my answer. “Oh, so kissing someone isn’t a big deal to you?” He questions staring me down as if he already knows the answer.
“What do you care? You’ve kiss enough girls to start your own country. You’re like the ruler of the kingdom of illicit relationships. I’ve only ever had two kisses. So you don’t have any room to get on my case about not really caring about a stupid kiss from back when I was fourteen.” I point out.
He’s silent as he stares harshly at me. He steps out of the doorway and into my room. “Just because I kiss a lot of girls doesn’t mean I’m okay with you kissing my brother. Seriously, Rin? Why would you do such a thing? It would have been fine if you came to me for that. I mean we already kissed before so I-”
“Don’t say anymore!” I cut him off.
I move away from my keyboard. As he moves closer to me I try to back away but there's no where for me to go.
Before I realize it he has his hands on my hips and I have my hands pushing against his chest trying to keep him from getting any closer. “I don’t understand you.” I murmur out in frustration, “Why do you care so much?”
Something flickers in his pale green eyes. Lately I keep seeing glimpses of some sort of emotion but I still can’t quite get what it is.
“I don’t understand you either. Why don’t you care as much as I do? Why do you always have to... You know what, never mind. I’ll just stop caring then. Is that what you want?” He inquires.
I bite the corner of my lip as I think of the answer.
Is that what I want?
Probably. I mean, I’ve been wanting him to leave me alone for a long time now. After more than four years of annoyance from him I should be jumping for joy right now at the idea of him leaving me be.
Silas is rude, possessive, mean, and perverted. Having him leave me alone is like a godsend.
So, why am I hesitating to answer? Why do I have to think about this so much when the answer should be blatantly obvious?
My chest starts to hurt a little as I think about him leaving me alone.
Not this pain again...
I think I need to see a cardiologist ASAP because something must be seriously wrong with me.
Silas’ grip on my hips tighten and I notice that he’s patiently waiting for my reply.
“Do whatever you want. You always do anyhow just like that disgusting kiss you gave me back when we were in the eighth grade. I wish you stopped thinking with only your crotch.” The words come out of my mouth before I can stop them.
I didn’t mean to bring that up. I didn’t mean to say that out loud at all.
His hands immediately leave my hips and he backs up to the door way. Anger and hurt flash in his eyes.
Silas shows his middle finger to me. “Sometimes I wish you didn’t become such a bitch.” He says then hurries to leave.
“You and me both...” I whisper to no one.
It’s hard to see it now but Silas and I used to be really good friends when we were younger. Back before Levi and I were best friends Silas was technically my first best friend.
It's weird to think that in one point in time we were practically inseparable.
From my infant to toddler year Mrs. Whittenbeck, who was a stay at home mom, took care of me during the weekdays while my parents were working.
I don’t remember much about those days but there are plenty of pictures of me and Silas together. There are also a hand full of pictures of just me and Levi and many more of all three of us together but it can’t compared to the four complete photo albums full of just me and Silas.
I do remember that when we started Kindergarten Silas and I threw fits because we weren’t in the sam class. Silas used to refuse to leave my classroom and we’d sit under one of the tables holding onto each other crying and screaming as our respective teachers tried to pry us apart.
At age six for me and seven for him, with the help of our parents, we had built a tree house in my backyard. Silas, Levi, and I used to spend hours in that tree house playing games or watching movies off a portable DVD player. Back then I never hung out with Levi alone but Silas and I used to sneak into the tree house at night just to be together a little longer. Our mothers used to get so angry every time they found us fast asleep next to each other.
For a majority of our primary school years Silas protected me from being bullied. Even back then he was the tallest kid in our grade He would intimidate the other kids to the point where no one teased me or tried to go near me. It was almost like he became a school bully just to keep me from being bullied myself.
In middle school we used to ride the bus together taking turns playing Pokemon or Super Mario on his gameboy the whole way to and from school.
It’s surreal to think about it now but back then I had really liked Silas. Not in a romantic way because I was only just a kid but in a close friend sort of way.
However, things changed.
He changed, or maybe it was both of us who changed. I'm not exactly sure. Either way we stopped being friends in our last year of middle school.
The last time I remember us still being friends was the day Silas had kissed me in front of the main building of our middle school.
At that time he had been hanging around a girl from my class who seemed to really like him. When she found out about the kiss I was treated like some home-wrecker and Silas didn’t try to protect me like he would of in the past. He did nothing while I got bullied because of something he did.
It’s funny now that I think about it.
Firstly, I was thirteen at that time. I’m pretty sure it’s hard to be a home-wrecker when you’re not even old enough to know the meaning of that.
Second of all, I hadn’t wanted nor expected that kiss from him. In fact I believe I shoved him away soon after and violently tried to wipe my lips. I also probably called him gross or something of that nature.
Thirdly, now that I think about it my first kiss was with Silas...
Fourth of all, I guess I shouldn’t have expected him to rescue me from the bullying like he did way back when but still it hurt that he didn’t even try.
Fifthly, I’m also pretty sure that he wasn’t serious with that girl since Silas has never been serious with anyone. I mean he was only fourteen at the time. It’s not like he was planning on marrying her. She was just some chick that he shared his snacks with and spent time with at lunch. They weren’t really dating but I guess in her head she thought his attention meant something more than what it was.
Lastly, as childish as it all is- I never have and probably never will forgive him for kissing me like that.
In general the whole situation was made out to be worse than it actually was, not only by our classmates, but by me as well.
It may not seem like a big deal to me now but back then it was catastrophic to my own little world. My first kiss had been stolen by the person I got along with the most. It was a big shock for me at that age. I reallywasn’t sure how to act back then.
After that happened it became extremely difficult for me to be around Silas. I didn’t understand why he suddenly kissed me at that time and I still don’t understand it even now after all this time.
Eventually I stopped talking to Silas and he started annoying me which I assume was just to get my attention. He would behave in ways I didn’t want to acknowledge. As soon as we started high school he was constantly jumping from one girl to another and doing illegal things for the hell of it. Slowly but surely our friendship turned into mutual hatred with each year that passed by, or at least that's what I had thought.
When all this was happening Levi was the only one who was there for me. That’s when he started to become a sort of brotherly figure towards me. Even though he’d always been by my side I had never paid full attention to him until I no longer had Silas.
So, as selfish as it sounds one close friendship ended but another one started from it.
Now thinking about it, that's how everything seemed to lead up to this point.
The next few day at school Silas and I don’t talk. He actually leaves me alone. Last time he was just a little upset at me but this time he seems seriously pissed
It feels like I no longer exist to him.
He won’t look at me, he won’t talk to me, he won’t help me with our lab work, or anything. He just sits there staring out the window.
He also doesn't pester me in between classes like he used to. The only time he actually does acknowledge me is when he’s with a girl in the hallway. He’ll look directly at me as he kisses or grabs the butt of whatever girl he’s with at the time. It’s like he’s making some sort of point that I just don’t get. Then after that brief moment it's like I go back to not existing.
I shouldn’t care about him ignoring me or kissing and groping random girls, right? I told him to do whatever he wanted.
I should feel happy about this since he really is leaving me alone but why aren’t I happy?
I mean it’s Silas...
Why am I feeling miserable over a reckless playboy like him?
There must be a screw loose in my head...
The rest of the week flies by quickly. Soon it’s Friday night. Silas doesn’t show up at dinner though. His parents claim he’s sick but the way Levi rolls his eyes tells me differently.
Halfway through dinner I excuse myself saying that I'm suddenly feeling sick to my stomach.
It’s not really a lie. I do feel sick in a way.
I go to my room to lay down.
Before I know it my eyelids get heavy and I start to drift.
One thirty three in the morning.
I get up and change out of my clothes realizing that I hadn’t didn't change before laying down earlier.
Once I’m comfortably dressed in a purple camisole, a pair of black athletic shorts, and have myself wrapped up in a small blanket, I tiptoe out of my room and down the hall.
I carelessly make my way downstairs. It’s like my feet are moving on their own as I walk towards the backdoor.
Next thing I know I’m in my backyard looking at the old tree house.
I haven’t been up in this thing since I was a kid.
I don’t think twice before climbing the ladder and crawling through the small door shaped hole.
Once I’m inside I notice someone is huddled up in the corner.
“Silas?” I breathe out.
I can see his face only slightly since it’s so dark.
I can barely make out the waySilas’ lips curve up slightly. He doesn’t speak though.
I crawl over to sit near him.
I try to ask him what he’s doing here but the words come out all wrong. “You know this is breaking and entering, right?” I grumble.
He let’s out a low laugh.
I can’t help but smile since I haven’t heard a genuine laugh from him in awhile.
“What are you doing here?” He finally speaks asking the words I had wanted to ask the most.
I roll my eyes, even though I’m not sure if he can see me do so in the dark. “This is my backyard.” I deadpan.
“Yeah, but it’s our tree house.” He counters.
I open my mouth to say something but then I close it. I’m unsure of what words will come out, so I just stay quiet instead.
It’s a comfortable silence though. All that can be heard is the wind blowing against the leaves on the tree.
I close my eyes for a moment absorbed in the peacefulness of it all.
“I’m sorry.” Silas whispers out breaking through the silence.
I’m shocked for a moment. In all seventeen years of my life I’ve never head Silas say a single apology until now. “I’m sorry, too.” I whisper back after I recover from being shocked.
I don’t know what he’s apologizing for or what I’m apologizing for either. It just feels right.
Soon after I end up falling asleep right next to Silas.
When I wake up in the morning Silas is gone.
Monday morning right when I arrive at school I end up running into Silas outside the main building.
He smirks at me. “Looking good today, Rin.” He says, his eyes scope out my low cut red shirt that my mom made me wear and my favorite pair of black skinny jeans.
I don’t think I look much different than usual, but okay...
I just roll my eyes as I try to move past him.
He grabs my arm though and pulls me to him. Before I can get away deja vu happens.
Silas kisses me right on the lips just like how he did back in middle school.
He chest hurts again.
As he moves to pull away I punch him in the shoulder.
What the heck?
I want to yell at him but I notice people are staring at us.
Levi’s standing among those people. Before I can call out to Levi to explain he’s already walking off out of sight.
I turn to glare at Silas. “Why’d you do that?” I demand to know.
Silas grins proudly. “Now I'm the first and the last kiss.” He causally replies.
This bastard here...
“I hate you,” I tell him.
He looks hurt, but he manages a small smirk. “I know,” He replies. If I didn’t know him well enough I’d say he sounds genuinely sad.
“Whatever. Come on. Let’s go to class.” I say with a sigh.