Chapter 52: The Cure To A Fear Of Heights
I feel my heart race immediately, and not in a good way.
No way. No freaking way.
“The last time we rode a Ferris wheel you weren’t feeling well and puked over the side of it and then passed out.”
I flinch as the memory of that flashes thought my mind. I was like seven, I’d eaten way too much cotton candy and ice cream that day, and to top it all off that was also the day I realized that I’m afraid of heights. I haven’t been on a Ferris wheel since and I have no plans to go on one ever again.
Either Silas is dense or just very confused if he thinks that I want to go on it. I love him but I’m starting to question if I’m surprisingly not the one with the least common sense here.
How is it that he can have a consistent A+ in AP Chemistry, yet have an F- in reading between the lines?
You would think the memory of me throwing up and passing out would be enough to realized that me and Ferris wheels just don’t go together, but my oblivious boyfriend clearly didn’t play enough of connect-the-dots as a kid.
Before I can protest he’s purchasing the tickets and leading us towards the small line right in front of the Ferris wheel.
My stomach tenses up and I feel an unsettling anxiety before to over take me. I take a deep breath to try to calm myself.
It’s not too late to tell him know. It’s not too late for him to return the tickets and get his money back. If I speak now then it’ll all be fine.
“I don’t know about-” I’m not able to finish my sentence because just as quick as we got in line it seems like it moved so fast that we’re already at the front being ushered into a cart. Silas hands the operator our tickets before the person closes the door, locking it. “...this.” My last word comes out barely a squeak as he start to move backwards slowly.
My breathing is irregular as I try my best not to look down. My hand squeezes Silas’ tightly out of instinct.
I don’t feel nauseous or extremely dizzy like the did the first time I went on a Ferris wheel, however this overwhelming sense of fear has me frozen in place next to Silas.
I close my eyes tightly.
Silas squeezed my hand. “Rin?” He called out gently. “Are you okay?”
I open my mouth to try to respond but a small timid sound comes out.
Silas says my name again, sounding more concerned this time.
I quietly murmur, “I hate heights. I hate Ferris wheels.”
I guess my fear of heights is something I’ve never talked about out loud before.
“Why didn’t you tell me that?” Silas asks.
I let out a shaky breath as I reply back, “I tried, but you were so excited and I just wasn’t able to say it until it was too late...”
He pulls my close. I open my eyes as I feel my face press against his shoulder. One hand is wrapped around my waist while I feel his other hand gently rub my back in a comforting manner. “I’m sorry for not noticing. I promise it’s going to be okay. I got you. Nothing bad will happen as long as I’m here. Just focus on my voice and pretend like we’re just on a car ride or something.”
It works just a bit at first, but after a while the motion of the Ferris wheel going around seems to stop.
I pull away from Silas.
Is it over?
My heart drops as I realize it’s not over at all.
No, we’re at the very top and without meaning to I can see the small lights and shapes below us.
I suddenly feel light headed.
Silas pulls me towards him again. “Don’t look down. Just look at me.” He says.
I shiver as I feel Silas press the palm of one of his hands lightly against the back of my neck. His other hand moves to my waist. He wraps his arm around me, pulling me closer to him as he does so.
I still feel light headed and my stomach is full of nerves, but looking into Silas’ green eyes make me slightly betters.
My heart races in my chest. I’m not sure if it’s the lingering fear of lights or the close proximity. I bite the corner of my bottom lip and I hold tightly to the little lizard stuffed animal that I’ve been carrying around even since Silas won it earlier today, trying to keep myself from becoming too overwhelmed right now.
He leans in closer to me. “Would it be messed up if I want to kiss you right now?” He asks.
For the moment I’m able to forget my fears and nerves, being both distracted and mesmerized by the way Silas gazes at me.
“Very.” I reply quietly. Despite it being cliche I don’t care. I lean in the rest of the way, pressing my lips gently to his.
Even when we feel the cart start to move neither of us tries to push away or pull apart. We continue to kiss just until we’re almost to the ground. Just before we come to a stop at the bottom, I move back slightly to break the kiss.
Silas makes a sound in protest. He gives me a few small pecks before finally letting go of me. “That wasn’t so bad, now was it?”
“Shut up.” I murmur playfully.
When we get off the Ferris wheel, Silas holds tightly to my hand as we walk about just enjoying the nice weather and each others company.
When it’s time to go I can’t help but wish that time would stop just for a moment.I wish we could stay longer, but we have a long ride home.
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