Chapter 7: I Have To Be Babysat Because of Video Games & Cults
“Sometimes I wonder if you just don’t like guys.” Silas mumbles from the doorway of the school's piano room.
Why does this guy insist on interrupting me every freaking time I’m playing the piano/keyboard? Can he not tell that I’m too busy to deal with his bullshit?
“Excuse me?” I reply as I move my fingers away from the keyboard.
Silas shrugs his shoulders. “I’m just wondering if you even like guys at all.” He says.
He wonders if I like guys at all?
I glare at him as I let out a sigh. “If you’re implying that I’m a lesbian just because I’m not into you, then you’ve just become a new level of dumb and very insulting to all women everywhere. Congratulations on saying the least attractive and least intelligent thing that you can possibly say to any female, regardless of their sexuality.” I deadpan. “I’ll have you know while I’m physically attracted to the male physique, I’m not emotionally attracted to guys who aren’t much more than a pretty face. In other words, I’m only attracted to guys who actually have a personality and brain that can match the same level as their looks.” I add feeling the need to shut down whatever silly notion he has in that warped brain of his.
He's not all that.
He holds his hands up in surrender. “I was only joking. I know, I know. You drool every time you watch a superhero movie. I just thought I’d ease the tension before I tell you something that’s going to piss you off.” He says.
I narrow my eyes at him. “It’s more like you wanted to piss me off before you try to tell me something that will piss me off even more but go on. Please do continue to spew out garbage every time you talk. That will sure get you an actual decent girlfriend in the future.” I reply with sarcasm dripping off of each and every word I say. “Oh, and that was all sarcasm in case your tiny brain can’t pick that up.” I then tell him for good measure.
Silas’ eyes narrow as well. “Congratulations on saying the least attractive and least intelligent thing that you can possible say to a male, regardless of whether they’re into you or not.” He retorts by taking my previous words and spinning them into his own.
I bark out a laugh. “How original. You can’t even come up with your own insults can you? Can you even say anything intelligent without having to steal it from others? I really applaud your ability to be dumber than the Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz.” I respond feeling smug about it.
Silas makes a face at me. “Did you really just insult my intelligence while making a Wizard of Oz reference? Seriously, Rin?” He mumbles, giving me a look that makes it obvious that he’s judging me.
In my defense, The Wizard of Oz is a freaking classic and I can make references to anything I want no matter how lame it sounds.
I’m okay with being lame.
“Anyways, forget the reference- hurry up and tell me whatever it was you came here to tell me. It can’t be any worse than your dumb opening line.” I mutter out.
Silas flicks me off.
I grin. “Right back at you,” I say before sticking my middle finger up at him as well.
This results in both of us just casually flipping the bird at each other over and over again.
“Stop flirting. I rather run a cheese grater over my eyes than to watch you two flirt like idiots.” Levi's voice booms as he walks up behind Silas before pushing him out of the way as he enters the room.
As much as I’m fond of Levi I suddenly have the urge to insult his intelligence as well for saying that I'm flirting with Silas but I hold back so I don’t damage our friendship any further than it has been. “We’re not flirting...” I just grumble out instead.
Levi makes a face that says he doesn't quite believe me. “Since I’m sure Silas hasn’t told you yet, I think it’s my job to inform you that our parents are going on a cruise together next Monday.” He tells me.
“Our parents? As in my parents and your guys’ parents?” I question.
Levi and Silas both nod their heads at me.
“I’m assuming we’re not invited on said cruise, right?” I follow up with.
They nod their heads again.
“Well, good for them. That wasn’t nearly as bad as Silas made me think it’d be. That’s nothing to be pissed off about.” I say. I clearly am not seeing the big deal about this.
Why do the twins have to tell me anyways? It’s not like it’s something that I need to prepare myself for. It’s not like I mind having my house all to myself; in fact I prefer it that way. I can do whatever I want while my parents are gone. What’s better than that?
“Rin, I don’t think you fully understand-” Levi starts to say, but he’s interrupted when Silas blurts out, “For someone who likes to insult the intelligence of others you’re not too bright yourself are you? We’re trying to tell you that your parents don’t want you staying home by yourself, so they’re literally paying us to babysit you for the whole week that they’re gone.”
What the hell?
“Are you joking?! Please tell me you’re joking! You guys are going to be paid to babysit me? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? It’s not like I’m going to go ape-shit with them away and join some weird cult where you eat paste and worship the giant spaghetti monster in the sky. I can cook, I can clean, and I’m pretty sure I’ve played enough violent video games to know what to do if someone breaks into the house.” I ramble out not feeling happy at all about this.
What am I a little kid?
Asking the twins to babysit me is like an insult within an insult.
“Rin, what you said right there is probably why your parents worry about you staying alone...” Levi replies as he gives me the “are you crazy or what?” look. He still can't stop himself from smiling at my antics though.
I don’t understand what’s so crazy about what I just said...?
“If this is about the cult comment then I already said I’m not joining that type of cult. If I ever did join a cult it would have to be one where I can eat all the pizza I want and watch all the cat videos to ever exist in this world. That sounds like a fun cult to join.” I defend myself.
Levi literally facepalms.
I’m dead serious. He takes the palm of his hand and smacks it against his face as he lets out what I can only assume is a frustrated sigh. “I’m suddenly questioning my taste in women.” He groans out.
“Was the cult comment really that bad? Fine, I take it back. I can eat pizza and worship cat videos without joining a cult.” I mumble out.
Silas bursts out laughing. “I think your comment about video games is more worrying than the cult thing. Seriously, Rin. Now I understand why you need a babysitter.” He says in between fits of laughter.
I flip Silas the bird and he flips it back at me.
Again, we basically just keep flipping each other off back and forth until Levi gets annoyed and grabs Silas’ finger bending it backwards. “I said no flirting,” He snaps before letting go of Silas’ finger and stomping out of the piano room.
Silas stand there for a second more rubbing his injured middle finger. “What’s wrong with him?” He asks.
I shrug my shoulders as I think about the other night when he took me out to the state line.
“I have no idea.” I lie. If Silas doesn’t already know then it’s better if he doesn’t find out. I don’t want things to get weirder between us, too.
Silas shrugs his shoulders back at me before turning around and leaving.
After that I’m no longer in the mood to play piano.
No matter how many times I try to tell them that I’m reliable enough to stay home alone for several days they just don’t buy it.
Mom keeps pointing out the three separate times where I accidentally locked myself out of the house, forgot about the spare key under the doormat, and broke inside by smashing the front window open. She even brings up the fact that I can’t use any type of knife without accidentally slicing open my finger... with the end of the knife that’s not even sharp.
Dad keeps pointing out the fact that I’m afraid of the dark and slept with a nightlight until I was thirteen as well as bringing up every single time that I got scared in the middle of the night and almost sucker punched him in the face because I thought he was an intruder.
Yeah, I guess my track record isn’t very good.
Still, in my defense I think they should at least give me a chance before automatically assigning Levi and Silas to babysit me.
Nothing is worse than needing a babysitter at the age of seventeen. It hurts my pride and it’s just plain embarrassing.
Besides, Levi and I are still awkward after his last confession and Silas will probably never stop laughing at the fact that he’s deemed more responsible than I am.
Nonetheless, my protests are not taken seriously. No matter how hard I try to convince my parents otherwise they will not budge at all on making the twins watch over me while they're gone.
By the time Monday morning comes I’m still stuck with having the twins as my babysitter. I see my parents off in the morning, before heading to school.
I feel bummed the whole day and I’m sure it shows but there’s nothing I can really do about it.
Silas has a smug face all throughout Chemistry and he keeps reminding me that he’s getting paid $50 to watch me for the whole week.
Levi doesn’t talk to me at all during our shared AP English class. It bums me out even more because at times like this he’s usually the one to cheer me up.
After school I wait by Levi’s truck since I know he doesn’t have baseball practice on Mondays.
When he starts to approach the truck I can see he's with a group of people.
He’s smiling and laughing, which is something that I haven’t been able to make him do lately. He’s also surrounded by guys wearing baseball caps probably from the baseball team and girls wearing barely school appropriate clothes.
He’s popular but I guess I never realized that before. Even though he’s my only friend, I’m not his only friend. It makes me feel so small, like I can be easily replaced any moment. It’s a lonely feeling.
When Levi spots me his smile disappears. He says something to the group he’s with before heading towards my way on his own. “What’s up, Rin?” He asks as if he thinks somethings wrong.
Is it clear by my expression? Do I look upset?
“Uh, nothing. Sorry. I didn’t mean to break up you and your friends. I just thought... Never mind.” I say before turning to walk away.
He’s clearly not torn up about the fact that our friendship seems to be in danger. Why am I even bothering when it’s so obvious that he doesn’t need me?
Before I can get away I feel him grab my arm and pull me against his chest. I peer over my shoulder to see Levi’s expression.
He looks angry.
“I don’t get you, Rin.” He says in the harshest tone he’s ever used before.
Levi never used such a tone with me before. He’s doing a complete one-eighty from how he was moments ago when he was walking with his friends.
I can’t help but get upset as I think about everything. We were fine not too long ago but then he had to push his feelings on me and start to act weird over it.
I never asked for any of this, yet he’s making it out like I’m the bad guy
I pull my arm out of his grasp before spinning around to stare straight at him. “I don’t get you either.” I counter back.
Levi let’s out a bitter laugh. “What’s there to not get? I keep telling you that I’m in love with you but you don’t take me seriously. I pushed you away thinking you’d realize just how much I mean to you but instead you just don’t care.” He argues.
I glare at him as I shake my head. “I don’t care? You’re saying I don’t care? If I didn’t care then I wouldn’t be here right now! I wanted to patch things up, but you seem just fine without me. It hurts me to know that our friendship is starting to crumble. I don’t want that! You’re my rock. You’ve always been my rock. I can’t see myself being best friends with anyone but you.” I tell him, my voice starting out loud but decreasing with every word.
“I get it, you love me. I tried to ignore it but it’s painfully obvious by now. I wish I could return your feelings but I can’t. I don’t really understand love, Levi. I just don’t get it. I love you but I don’t see you any different than family. Platonic love is the best I have to give you...” I confess.
It’s hard to say it but I really don’t understand love at all. I know what it is and I know I love the people closest to me. That’s it. I don’t know what it’s like to be actually in love or anything.
How would I know anyways?
Is there a particular feeling you get when you’re in love?
I’ve heard people say that when you love someone you can’t imagine your life without them. I feel that way about Levi but I also feel that way about my family too.
I’ve also heard you still see the good in the person but get angry over the bad and you care about them even when you pretend not to. I feel that way about Silas, though that's not something I will ever admit to him.
I’ve also been told that your heart beats fast sometimes, your palms sweat, you get nervous randomly, and your chest hurts occasionally when you see them. If so, then I get that way about Levi and Silas both but I don’t think that counts.
Even if people say that’s love- why don’t I feel like I’m in love with either of them?
I feel extremely confused.
“You don’t understand love?” Levi asks, his tone becoming suddenly softer. He doesn’t seem so angry now. “Rin,” he murmurs as he reaches out to push a lock of my hair behind my ear. “I’ll work hard to make you understand.”
My heart speeds up but only for a second then it mellows out not long after.
We’re just standing there staring intently at each other. Our gazes don’t falter until someone pulls me away from Levi. Again, my back is pulled against a chest. I’m confused at first but by the deadly look Levi’s giving I figure out who’s chest I’m against.
“Let go of me, Silas.” I mutter out without looking at him.
Silas holds me tighter to him. “No way. I’m sick of watching you guys make goo goo eyes at each other. It hurts more than you can even begin to understand. All you ever care about is Levi and his feelings but what about my feelings?” He mutters out. He holds me to him for a moment longer before finally letting go of me.
I turn to look at Silas. The look on his face makes me feel nervous and depressed. He looks hurt and it’s my fault.
I’ve been trying to fix things with Levi so much that I completely forgot about the fact that Silas allegedly has feelings for me too.
He never has said it to me personally so it was easier to ignore, unlike the feelings that Levi pushed on to me from the start of this whole mess.
I know, I always say I hate Silas.
I know, I’m not always nice to him.
I know, I’m always getting angry at him for one thing or another.
I know. I know. I know.
Even if that’s all true, I still deeply care about Silas. He was my first real friend and at one time I really, really treasured him. Maybe I still do but when things get complicated it's easier to project hatred onto him because of my hurt feelings over our lost friendship.
My experiences with him in general is what keeps me from trying so hard to make sure I don’t lose Levi too.
“Levi’s not the only one who can make you understand what love is. I can too, because I loved you first and I still love you now.” Silas admits his love for me for the first time.
Before I can wrap my head about it Levi and Silas are both so close to me, glaring at each other intently with me stuck in the middle.
“Guys, knock it off!Let’s go home!” I exclaim trying to defuse the situation before a proper fight can start.
They both look at me. Levi looks worried but Silas smirks.
That’s when I realize that it’s just going to be me, Levi, and Silas alone at my house for an whole entire week.
Lord have mercy.
I have a really bad feeling about this...