10. First date
I'm not worthy for a minute of your time
I really wish it was only me and you
I'm jealous of everybody in the room
Please don't look at me with those eyes
Please don't hint that you're capable of lies
I dread the thought of our very first kiss
A target that I'm probably gonna miss
Let's go, don't wait, this night's almost over
Honest, let's make this night last forever
Forever and ever, let's make this last forever
Forever and ever, let's make this last forever
- First Date – Blink 182
It's been eleven days since he discovered my habit. Eleven days since he took me into that bathroom, and eleven days since his lips were pressed against my cheek.
I swear if I think about it, I can still feel the tingle of his lips on my cheek.
It's Friday now, and I know he has some plans for us afterschool. I'm secretly worried he's going to want to go somewhere public.
I suppose I was very lucky when no one at school saw us leave the bathroom together last week.
So instead he's taken to resting his hand on my back whenever we're near each other, or putting his hand on my shoulder.
So that about covers why I've felt amazing and awkward. As for the terrible…
I can't cut my wrists now. Every time I see him and we're alone he always has me show him my wrists.
He's asked me a bunch of questions about my cutting, why I started, when I started, if he hadn't had stopped me would I still be doing it. I had no answers except for a lie for the last one.
And that just won't do.
I'm standing next to Elijah's car now, my last class I'm an aide and close to the front doors so I leave the building a little bit before everyone else does.
There's no way I can give up cutting. And right now there's no way I want to go without having those powerful arms around me anymore. Or without those lips on my cheeks or forehead.
That's another funny thing; he hasn't tried to push me. He knows I need time. I guess I haven't known him as well as I should have. There's no way he'd ever force me into doing something I don't want.
And now that's all I want. I want Elijah to be my first kiss, since he's already starting to be my first love… No that won't do. It'll just hurt in the end, when Allie dies… I will. This makes what's going on a little bit worse.
When the door to the school opened and I saw a mess of glittery hair I smiled and waved. He waved back and walked down the steps towards me.
He got in and pulled his seat belt on before looking at me with raised eyes.
I turned my arms towards him, "No cuts, not since before and that'll never happen again."
He smiled and my breath hitched, again. Those eyes lit up and I could see his perfect teeth. Him happy is definitely worth this daily inspection. I just have to make sure he never wants to look anywhere else…
He put the key in the ignition and the car in drive while I pulled out my cell phone and texted Izzy that I wouldn't be riding with them again. I was having a friend drive me home.
I turned to him as we drove out of the parking lot, "So uh… Elijah. Where are we going tonight?"
He smirked and my small smile instantly faded. I knew it! He's taking me somewhere public and he knows I won't like it!
I nodded. I could have dinner at a small Italian place, no problem. But the outfit thing? We're having dinner first? What's second? Oh boy what have I gotten myself into?
He placed his hand not on the wheel on mine and we drove in silence towards his house. I'd only been there a few times, and the only people I'd ever seen were maids, I haven't seen his mom or dad, and I'm not sure I should ask or not.
This time once we got to his house he opened my door for me again, what a gentleman… and escorted me inside. Instantly his rat sized cat leaped onto my leg and curled against my foot.
Elijah instantly reached down and picked him up, cuddling him against his face. That poor cat, always having to be smooshed up against Elijah's face.
Elijah looked at me and smiled, "What's on your mind? You've been quiet since we left the school. Oh! Let's go to my room and check out your outfit for tonight!"
I smiled back and quickly followed him up the stairs. He led me down to his room, nodding at one of the maids who was walking down the hallway. I smiled at her and nodded as well.
He opened his bedroom door and walked in, I followed him, blushing. I'd only been in here a couple times, sat on his bed once, and he was laying on it next to me at the time.
Okay maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic, but my face is red just by walking into his bedroom. That is what he does to me on a daily basis now.
He opened his closet door with a flourish only he would be able to pull off and walked into it. I sat down on his bed and watched him throw a black buckled jacket out of his closet and a blue sequined shirt and this and that and all these clothes ended up on the floor.
Finally I could hear a muffled; "Aha!" and he came out of the closet with armful of clothes so high it was covering his face.
I looked timid I'm sure, "Elijah… you know you're taller than me right? Your clothes will be to long on me."
He set the clothes on his bed and nodded, "Yeah, and I'm a little bit bigger than you too. So my clothes won't fit period. But I bought us both a new outfit for tonight."
He pulled up a pair of black, extremely tight, skinny jeans I know are for him. And also a rainbow colored shirt I wouldn't touch in a million years, plus if you look at it just right it was basically see through.
But Elijah wouldn't take no for an answer. That's how, two hours later, I'm standing outside of a small Italian restaurant wearing dark red, leather extra tight skinny jeans, a black shimmery, tight t-shirt, and his black buckled jacket that's a little to big for me.
Part of me liked the attention, but a big part of me just wanted to run away before anyone saw me in anything other than black. Or in something this… revealing.
He removed his hand from around my waist when he opened the door for me; I barely listened when he asked for a table for two, or what the waiter was saying about the specials as he led us to our table.
We sat and we talked about our day, silly stuff like that. He had his hand on mine almost the entire time; I'd never been here before so he ordered for both of us.
The food was exquisite but he told me not to eat very much, and maybe he shouldn't have chosen Italian before our next event. Which made me assume dancing or something else of the sort.
"Elijah, I can't take the suspense anymore. Where are we going?"
He smirked and looked down at his lasagna, then back up at me, his gold-green eyes shining, "It's a surprise baby."
I blushed, he's only called me baby a couple times and both times I turned bright red, and apparently am still doing it. "I'm full; can we go do this now?"
He smirked more and picked up the bill before placing the tip down on the table. The waiter came bustling over, "Will this be all gentlemen? Will you need a box?"
Elijah shook his head and got up; I stood up next to him and pulled the jacket around me as tight as I could.
I'm okay with dancing or some other type of exercising. But I don't want to do anything with a whole bunch of people.
Elijah paid and pushed the door open for me. I walked out and he followed before grabbing my hands. I looked up into his eyes and he smirked again, "You ready to have some real fun now?"