I'm sorry for the way I hurt you and making you walk away.
(I should have took the time to tell you)
And if I wrote you a love song and sang it to you every day, would it ever be enough to make you wanna come back home and stay?
(I can't go another day without you)
Yeah, the days are cold, the nights are long.
And I can't stand to be alone.
Please know this is not your fault.
And all I want...
Is to tell you I love you and make you wanna stay.
There's gotta be a way, 'cause going on without you is killing me everyday
- Stay - Florida Georgia line
My fingers still clench the wheel and my tanned skin is quickly turning white. My windows are dark so I don't have to worry about anyone seeing me. I punch the wheel over and over.
My head leans back against the seat and my tears are running down my cheeks. Part of me wants to pull away from him. I've only felt this way once. When my mother committed suicide. I don't want to feel like this anymore.
It would be easy. I could have anyone. Anyone!
But... the person I want, the person I love, is him. I couldn't imagine a life without him now. I don't want to think of a life without him.
I know I told him I love him. It was probably not the greatest time to say it. But my hands were on him, I could see the blue in his eyes and I couldn't help it.
Granted he didn't respond but I know he's hurting and needs time. And for once I'm willing to be patient, for him.
My fingers touch my phone, it's only been about twenty minutes since I drove away but I just need to hear his voice.
I press his name and press my phone against my ear. It rings, and rings, and rings some more. It goes to voicemail. I sigh and press the numbers again. They don't call me impatient for nothing.
It rings over and over before voicemail picks up again. Call it a sixth sense, but I think something's wrong. No, I know something is.
It only rings twice before Isabelle picks up. "Hello?"
"Hey Isabelle, it's Elijah. Can I talk to Will please?"
She's quiet for a minute before saying quietly, "he's in the bath." Yeah I feel stupid now with my whole 'sixth sense' thing. "I'll tell him to call you."
"Thanks. I guess I'll see you in a couple days at school..."
I'm pulling my phone away from my head when I hear her say, "Hold on."
She's still unusually quiet, "I think Will dropped his wine glass mom."
Wine? They gave him wine? Yes let's give the grieving man alcohol, let's turn him into a drunkard like my father was. "Izzy I'm coming back. I need to talk to him."
I ignore her protests and turn off my phone. My father lost my mother, turned into an alcoholic, tried to murder me, and I killed him in self defense. I can't let Will drown his sorrows.
I may be speeding to Will's house. I may have broken a million laws in the process. And I may have driven across the lawn instead of using the driveway. Oh well.
My car is barely stopped before I leap out of it. Isabelle already has the door open and I rush past her, ignoring her protests.
Actually I ignore all their protests. "Where is he?"
Scott narrows his eyes at me, "He needs alone time."
My eyes narrow back, "Take me to the bathroom or I will tear this house apart looking for him."
Izzy grabs my arm and drags me upstairs. "He's fine but I don't want you to blow a gasket."
She knocks again, "Will, Elijah is here to see you!"
No reply. No. Fucking. Reply. That sixth sense thing is starting up again.
Isabelle puts her hand on the doorknob and tries to turn it. It's locked. Fuck.
She bangs on the door harder, "Will let us in! Unlock the door."
I push Izzy away and step back a little before jamming my shoulder into the door. It doesn't budge. I step farther back and hit it harder. I can hear it crack but doesn't open.
Next to the tub is a wine glass and a pill bottle. In the tub is William...
His clothes are soaked. His face turning blue. I try to push Izzy away but she sees him and immediately starts screaming. And in seconds the whole family minus Caleb is in the bathroom.
But I don't care about them. I fall onto my knees next to the bathtub and lift him out of the water. I check his pulse, it's there but slow, without looking at his family I whisper, "He's alive, call the police, now."
I cradle William in my arms and shake him gently, "William wake up! Please. You can't die we just found each other. I can't lose you too baby. Please wake up now."
My tears fall faster, hitting his cold face. I pull away and grab his shoulders, shaking him harder, "Wake up Will!"
His eyelids flutter and I can see his wattery blues. He opens his mouth and whispers, "I love you too"
As his eyes flutter shut I try to choke down my sobs, "Stay with me please. Please William, I love you. Be strong, stay with me..."