Not In Control

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Chapter 51 Waking Up Feels like A Dream

I wake up to hear a soft beep, it’s the beep of a heart machine. I move my right hand but realize I’m stuck on to something. My head hurts a little but I feel a little dizzy. Like I’m on drugs and when I make a movement, I realize it 10 seconds later. I open my eyes slowly adjusting to the light. I see someone sitting in a chair besides me but I can’t figure out who it is. I’m dizzy and my vision isn’t clear.

My head feels heavy again and I can’t hold my eyes open anymore and fall back to sleep again.

“You have to wake up Tara, focus” I hear someone saying. It’s a soft voice of a female.


I open my eyes and feel her hand in mine. I squeeze it a little letting her know I’m awake.

“She awake” she screams and my ears have to adjust to the sounds she’s making.

“Sssshh, I have a headache.” I respond.

“Sorry, babe just so excited to see you awake.” Alexia tells me while kissing my forehead.

I just nod a little and close my eyes again but is stay awake.

“Hi Tara” I hear a familiar voice. Is that my dad? I open my eyes a little and see that my dad is standing next to my bed “I’m sorry Tara, for everything we put you through” he says while crying.

“Don’t cry dad, please” I tell him while holding out my hand for him to take it. He grabs it and we stand there in silence.

“Hi Tara, how are you doing” someone says to me but I can’t figure out who it is.

“I’m going to check your vitals” she tells me. Oh, it’s a nurse.

I nod and open my eyes slowly this time truly adjusting to the light. The nurse is checking my pulse rate. I look around and see my sister standing next to my dad. And Alexia is sitting in a chair with bandages on her face. She looks better than she did when I saw her but it still isn’t pretty.

“You sure have a lot of people that care about your, Tara” the nurse tells me.

“Do I?” I asked confused.

“The whole waiting room is crowded, so I sure like to think so” she tells me while adjusting my intravenous drip.

“The whole waiting room?” I asked confused looking at Alexia.

“Yeah babe, almost the whole staff is here. Your mother, Christopher, Sebastian, Mister Singh and AJ are here. Everyone was worried sick when you didn’t wake up anymore” she tells me.

Wait what? Didn’t wake up?

“How long have I been here?”

“You have been in a coma for 3 days. They said you should wake up eventually. So, everyone took shifts to be here. We didn’t want you to be alone” she tells me.

Wow, I never thought that so many people would care about me.

“Even mom is here?” I ask Jazz while holding out my other hand. She runs towards me and hugs me hard while crying.

“Hey, sssshh Jazz. I’m fine now don’t cry!” I tell her.

“You scared me to death! I can’t live without my sister! You hear me! I can’t we just got back together and I will never let you go!” she tells me.

“Good” I tell her and wipe away her tears. My dramatic little sister and father standing next to me.

“I will get Mom” Jazz tells me and walk out of the room.

“I’m done here Tara; everything is fine. The doctor will be with you shortly. And as much as I like to see all the love, they will have to leave within 30 minutes. You need your rest, Tara.”

“Thank you” I tell the nurse and she nod and walks away.

My dad is still holding my hand and tears are streaming down his face. It’s kind of awkward but I know he doesn’t talk. He already said what he needed to say and that’s enough for me. It means the world that he is even here. My mother comes into the room and looks at me mad. She’s shaking her head from left to write but a small smile appears.

“So, you thought you could leave before you parents!” she tells me stern. “You still have to give me grandchildren” she tells me while smiling.

Grandchildren? What happened with my parents? Are they high? Or am I just dreaming. My mother walks up to Alexia and takes her hand and lays it in mine.

“You have a lovely girlfriend, Tara my mother tells me. I think I’m hallucinating but I like to be here so I better not pinch myself before this dream is over.

Jazz smiles at me she’s standing in the doorway.

“I’m hungry” I respond trying to kill the silence in this room. Everybody is so tense or either crying.

“Me too” Jazz tells me and smiles at me. “Mom brought food; I’m going to get it from the refrigerator she tells me.”

I can’t wait to eat my mother’s cooking! “Tara there are more people to see you we will be back tomorrow” My mother tells me. I nod and they walk away. Alexia stands up walking away to but I hold her hand. She looks at me. “Stay please” I ask her. She nods and sits down next to not letting go of my hand.

“Hey, crime fighter” Christopher says while coming in to the room.

“Hey, bodyguard” I tell him while smiling at him.

“Even if it wasn’t real, I will always be your bodyguard” He tells me while winking at me.

“Good to know but I don’t think I need you; I can fight crime on my own!” I say while sticking out my tongue.

We alle smile and It’s good to see everyone. Sebastian tells me that business is going well and that I don’t have to worry about anything. Mister Singh and AJ both cried because hospitals bring back terrible memories for them both. I made them clear that it would be different this time and I would come home. They both hugged me and told me to stop by soon. And alle my staff members brought me a card with quotes in it about staying strong. Before I know it, everyone is gone except for Alexia. She’s still here sitting next to because she’s also staying in this hospital in the room next to me. The nurse told me that she has asked to put Alexia’s bed next to mine so we could be together.

“Come lie next to me?” I ask Alexia.

“Sure”, she tells me and lies next to me. Her head leaning on my shoulder and we are cuddled up against each other. I don’t want to talk for now. Being here together is all I need. Just being peaceful and sharing our love in this moment. We will figure the other things out later.


After being a week in the hospital I finally got discharged. Alexia is living with me and Ana and Christopher are taking care of us. It’s like we are two happy couples living together. Christopher and Ana are dating for real and they look so cute together. Alexia and I haven’t talked yet be we are pretending that everything is alright. I think she’s waiting for my headaches truly to be over before getting in a stressful situation with me. We are living in a bubble and I know it will not take long for it to burst. Alexia told me that no matter what she wants to make this work. And that thought in the back of my mind keeps me sane.

“Miss Gopal, Christopher wants pancakes again for breakfast.” Ana laughs at me. “What would you like?”

“pancakes are fine, Ana. Thank you for taking care of us! Must be hard for you!”

“Not at all, Miss Gopal I just have to cook a little more that’s it. Beside I love having Christopher around” she tells me while blushing.

“I love to see you happy, you deserve it”

“You too, Miss Gopal. You deserve it more!”

“No one deserves to be happier than someone else, I like to think that we all extracting from the same pool because we deserve it and there is enough for everyone!”

“Wow, well said” Ana tells me while walking towards the kitchen.

We all eat pancakes like we are one big happy family. It feels so nice to be surround by love. Ana turns on the tv with news like she always does. And we all stare to the screen. It’s about my case that on tv and the reporter is telling us that Zack may get a deal for a less sentence in exchange for revealing other sources.

“Fucking Great” Christopher yells and hits the kitchen counter hurting his hand.

“Be careful, love” Ana tells him while grabbing his hand and walking towards the freezer to ice it.

Alexia grabs my hand and squeezes it. We haven’t made love or had sex of any kind since we got out. We wanted to wait until we both fully recovered. She pulls me to the bedroom and takes me into her arms. We lie there together but we both can’t fight the physical attraction anymore. Alexia slowly starts to massage my shoulders making me relax. My back is turned to her. She is slowly moving her hands to the front taking my breast into her hands. She massages them making me aroused. I haven’t had sex for a long time and there isn’t much needed to get me going.

I could just melt right here while Alexia massages my breast and pinches my nipples. I turn around kissing her on her mouth. Her lips feel soft and familiar. I missed her scent and I take her all in. She kisses me deeper while her tongue is looking or mine. We intertwine feeling that we belong together in this moment and forever. Alexia stops kissing and gasps for air before kissing me hard again. Her hand travel to my wet spot that’s waiting for her touch.

“Your so wet” she tells me while I blush in response.

“Always for you, babe” I say hoarse while Elena flicks my jewel with her finger. I feel so relaxed and aroused that it doesn’t take long for me to scream out her name. My orgasm flows to my body making me feel heat everywhere. My while body is shivering and Alexia get out of bed putting on the strap on.

“Do you trust me?” she asks. She knows that I haven’t had anything bigger than fingers inside of me since...

My body shivers but I nod. I want to give my all to her. I have never done that and I want Alexia to be my first and last.

She strips off all her clothes and puts on the strap on. She lubes on it and strokes it. Her eyes never losing mine.

“Are you sure babe?” she asks me again but I nod. I need to face my fears and trust someone completely and with Alexia I can.

She pushes my legs open and kisses me first. She licks my nipples and bites them soft. My back arches and Alexia kisses me while I moan into her mouth.

She lays on top of me and slowly pushes the dildo inside of me. I feel a little sting but it doesn’t hurt. It’s just tight and full. Alexia kisses me while slowly moving up and down. I grab her ass pushing her even further in and moan from the way she makes me feel. I never felt this way about anyone and trusting someone completely like this scares me.

She eases in and out of me and I move with her. Our rhythm becomes faster while we still are in sync.

“Stroke your clit for me” her eyes never leaving mine while she makes love to me. I obey and does as she say. My whole-body tenses while I stroke my clit. I never felt this full and turned on before. She pushes up and down and I can feel a warm pressure building up in me. My toes curl and my back arches and I scream out “Oh my god Alex” while shuddering. My whole body is shivering and she holds me while putting her mouth on my vagina licking me clean. I come again in het mouth making me scream again. I forgot that Christopher and Ana are sitting in the room next to us but I don’t care. We made love for hours. There isn’t a body part we haven’t kissed, licked or bitten and we even lost count how many orgasms we had. It’s only morning but we sure need a nap to recover from this.

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