Not In Control

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Chapter 8 My First Break Up...

Kate is ignoring me. I left her several text messages that I’m sorry. So, I decided to go see her after school. Angie and I are gotten closer since I don’t see Kate anymore. But she’s not the same as Kate. Angie seems to be a girl that always attracts problems. And after hearing them for a while, you started to get bored especially if she doesn’t even listen to your advice.

Kate and I have fun. I miss that. I miss the simple and sophisticated Kate. I walk over to her door and ring the bell. Her mother opens the door. “Hi Tara, how are you?” she asks.

“I’m fine, just worried about Kate. How is she?” I ask back.

“She’s upstairs, actually. Why don’t you go ask her yourself.” her mother answers.

I walk upstairs to Kate’s room and knock first. “Come in,” she says. When I walk in, I see that Kate is with a girl that I haven’t seen before. The first thought that comes to my mind is I have been replaced?

“Hi Kate, how are you?” I ask. Kate wasn’t looking in my direction and looks very surprised when she notices it’s me.

Kate turns to me and looks at me with big eyes. “What are you doing here?” she asks, irritated.

“You have been ignoring me and I thought it is time we should talk it out,” I respond.

“Okay, well, I see you later Kate” the girls I don’t know smile at me and leave the room. “You don’t have to go,” Kate says but she is already gone.

“You see what you did; you scared her away,” Kate yells. “Well, if you have been answering my text, I wouldn’t have to be here Kate!” I yell back.

“Whatever,” Kate responds.

“So, this is how things are going to be between you and me? You are going to ignore me and yell at me when this isn’t even my fault?” I state.

Kate looks at me and in silence for a while. She just looks at me and doesn’t respond. I try to decipher her, but I have a hard time reading her. The atmosphere in the room is becoming calm before the storm.

“If you’re going to ignore me, I’d rather go,” I respond and it’s still silent.

I walk towards the door when Kate says “Wait”.

I look at her and say, “Talk to me Kate, come on, it’s me!”

She looks at me and I see tears falling from her eyes. “You are the reason I’ve been in hell for several weeks! You told my parents the truth and they don’t trust me anymore. They’re watching my every move!”

“You did this and that’s why I’ve been ignoring you. I can’t look at you anymore and I don’t want to be friends with you anymore!” she yells at me.

I feel like a knife is being stabbed in me. She doesn’t want to be friends with me anymore because I can’t even defend her before her parents. Instead, I had to defend Jay. “I’m sorry Kate.”

“It doesn’t matter what you have to say to me, you’re just a pathetic girl. I tried to give some self-esteem and this is what I get in return! Nobody wants to be your friend trust me! You’re too clingy and an ugly little girl!” she yells.

Tears are falling from my eyes. How could this be that the person I trusted with all my fears and all my secrets is now using it against me?

Maybe she’s right? If everybody is saying it, there must be some truth in it.

“I’m sorry Kate,” I say, crying. Suddenly Jay comes walking into the room and he sees me crying. What is he doing here?

Kate walks over to him and kisses him on the lips “Hey babe,” she says to him and looks at me conceited.

“Hey,” he says, confused and before he could say anything, I walk through the door downstairs. I just want to leave.

Kate’s mother walks towards me and looks at me. “What’s going on” she asks. “Nothing,” I say, crying and try to wipe my tears.

I walk to the door, open it and try to run as fast as I can. Kate’s mother tried to stop me, but she was too slow. “Wait,” she yells. But I run. I run as fast as I can.

What just happened. And why am I feeling this way? I thought that Kate would act normal and that we just could make up and be friends. And Jay does he know? Is he still with her? This must be because I just saw them kissing.

I shouldn’t have told the truth. Now I have nobody, just school. Why does nobody want to be my friend? Why? Am I so ugly? I’m still running and thinking at the same time. So, I forget to look where I’m running and slam into a pole.

“Auch” that hurt. I stand there for a while crying and feeling lonely and alone. I walk to the bus and get in. The bus driver looks at me weird and says “You’re bleeding girl!” I looked in the window and saw that I hit that pole quite hard. Suddenly I feel the pain. The bus driver quickly takes his first aid kit and takes out gauze to hold it against my wound. “Thank you,” I say. “No thanks, child, sit back,” he says.

I put on my ear buds and the song playing is:

(I would stay - Krezip)

If this is true...I thought then...what will I think...Will I stay... but rather I would get away...I’m scared that I won’t find a thing...And afraid that I’ll turn out to be alone....

I open the door and shout “Hello” but luckily no one is home. I run to the bathroom and see that my forehead has a bump. Fortunately, the bleeding has stopped. I’ll disinfect it just in case. Hope it doesn’t remain a scar. What the hell I’m ugly, so that doesn’t matter anyway.

I grab my earplugs and put them on and go to bed. I fall asleep to the song:

(Big big world - Emilia)

I’m a big big girl...In a big big world...It’s not a big big thing if you leave me...But I do do feel that...I do do will miss you much..Miss you much...


Author’s note:

Hi everyone, thank you for reading! Please tell me what you think about this chapter? And don’t forget to like keeps me motivated to go on!

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