“Tobias, my son, I am so sorry. Your Mother told me I should speak to you, but I thought… I thought you would come to me if….” Vater said in German, his voice sounding tired and sad.
Vater looked up then, with the saddest look Tobias had ever seen on his face. Feeling as if his legs wouldn’t hold him up any longer, Tobias went and sat down also.
“It’s my fault son, my fault,” Vater continued softly.
“It isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I’m the one who lost control,” Tobias argued in German just as softly.
Vater began to shake his head, but he continued speaking, now in English, “Nein, it’s mine because your Mutter warned me that all the signs were there. I ignored her though, her and the signs.”
“The signs that you are just like me. You see, I too tend to bite, a lot. If your Mutter hadn’t been a vampire, I would have killed her the night we bonded.”
Tobias sat back, stunned. “Why did you never tell me, or any of us boys about this?”
“Because I was ashamed of it, still am, or I would have told all of you a long time ago. Truth is, it’s that shame that kept me from talking to you like your Mutter asked me to. Now I find because of it mein Sohn…” Vater looked at Tobias, tears in his eyes. “Can you ever forgive me, Sohn, for not telling you? It would have kept what happened from happening, keeping you from feeling the guilt and shame of killing.”
Tobias took a deep breath letting it out slowly. Would it have kept him from killing? Would he have listened to his Vater? Even at twenty-five, he was young and reckless, thinking he knew more than both his parents.
Would I have listened? Or would I, in my young mind, decide I knew myself better than my Vater did? That it wouldn’t happen to me. Would I have gone and done what I did anyway?
He shook his head, nein, his Vater telling him would have made no difference. He would still have bitten those girls thinking he could stop.
So, he turned to his Vater. “Nein, Vater, it would have made no difference had I known because I was young and foolish. I thought I knew it all,” he said. “Explain it to me now though, bitte Vater. Help me understand what is wrong with me and how I can fix it. I want to make love to meine Geliebte, my beloved, without fear. Last night… last night I could have killed her so easily,” he admitted as he almost choked on the tears, he felt building in his throat at how close he had been too draining her blood from her completely.
His Vater placed a hand on his shoulder, giving a comforting squeeze before removing it.
“Three times I loved her and three times I bit her. If she hadn’t stopped me the last time… I couldn’t stop Vater! Mutter said our beast would know when to stop, but I couldn’t. Why? Why can’t I stop?” He yelled as he jumped up out of the chair and threw it across the garage.
The chair busted to pieces as it hit the wall and Tobias stood there. His shoulders heaved in anger and guilt as he fought the beastly side of him who wanted to do more damage.
“The night I bonded with your Mutter was the first time I had ever been with a woman. So, we made love multiple times and I bit her every time too. Even though she was a vampire, what I took was too much, and it made her weak for days. If she had been human, she would have been dead,” Vater began.
Tobias returned his focus to his Vater, listening.
“Things were different back then though. Vampires would bite and think nothing of it if we killed our prey because no one cared. We were vampires, predators, it was the way of our nature and we did it without thought of the consequences. This was the universal attitude among us, at least according to my Vater it was. So, I thought nothing of biting her like that, and thought it was normal, I suppose.”
“It isn’t though, is it?”
“Nein, I suppose it isn’t. I found out later that most vampires don’t bite the way I do,” Vater agreed. “My own Vater taught me that human life was worthless and for a long time I believed it. If he hadn’t brought me up believing this, I might have learned some way to curb my need to bite, and not almost killed your Mutter. I found out later that my own Mutter was human. After she had me, Vater went too far one night and killed her.”
Tobias asked him then, “So, what did you learn to do about it?”
“As I said, I like to bite, and that hasn’t changed, not one bit. Sometimes I like to just… ah—well, take from your Mutter for no real reason. I’m not hungry and I’m not even feeling sexually motivated. I just feel the urge to bite her, though she doesn’t seem to mind it. She just learned to bite back,” Vater said. “It makes me feel good, happy inside when she does that. It’s kind of like when you were a child your Mutter came across these things people called a ‘sugar tit’.”
Vater laughed. “A sugar tit, that’s what they call them. Anyway, you take a rag and put sugar in it, give it to the babe and they suck on it. You loved it, though you were older when you’re Mutter gave it to you.”
“Why would Mutter give me such a thing anyway?” Tobias asked. “And what does this have to do with the two of you biting each other?”
“Well, it seems that you had started to bite her, so she decided it was time to wean you. I think you were almost a year and a half old at that time. I know you were saying a few words since a vampire matures quicker than a human,” Vater began as he shook his head. “You did not like it one bit and would go up to her, pull on her shirt, and demand, “I suck now, Mutter,”. She didn’t like that and would tell you nein, over and over. The day you did that to her in public, she came home, mad as a wet hen, telling me something had to be done. I told her to just let you have what you wanted, and do you know what she told me?”
Tobias knew his Mutter’s temper well and wasn’t sure he wanted to know. Still, he shook his head and waited.
“She said she’d let you suck on me and see how I liked being bitten.”
They both grabbed instinctively place a hand protectively over their manhood.
With a cringe, Tobias muttered, “Ouch.”
“Anyway, that was when she found the sugar tit and it satisfied you until she had you weaned. That was also when she told me how she feared you would be just like me and enjoy the biting a bit too much,” Vater said. “I should have listened.”
“So, is my need to bite, why I struggled so hard when we were no longer allowed to feed on the vein?”
Vater nodded. “Ja, it is. As I said, in my day nobody would have thought anything of it, I know I didn’t. I was just a vampire who killed more often, one of the reasons the hunters came into existence. Then I met your Mutter, and as I said, if she hadn’t been a vampire I would have lost her. It woke me up to the fact that I was different, and it appears as if your Mutter was right all along and you are also.”
“What do I do then? How do I control it? Please, Vater, I need to know!” Tobias questioned, almost begging.
“You either give her a bit of your blood each time or you change her. Although, even if you change her you will still need to give her blood if you get greedy,” Vater told him. A sly smile crossed his face. “You will find having her bite you in return will be most enjoyable, especially when a bed is involved.”
Tobias groaned. He really didn’t need to know that part. His need for Kendra was already at an all-time high, and now Vater was saying mutual biting would make their lovemaking even better. He thought back to how arousing it had been when she had taken blood from him. Thinking about having her sink a pair of fangs into his chest almost had him embarrassing himself in front of his Vater.
Yes, just thinking about her biting me is… He quickly shook the image from his head and asked, “Won’t giving her my blood change her anyway?”
“Nein, you would have to nearly drain her, bring her to the point of death before giving her blood to change her,” Vater informed him. “You could also try biting a pillow.”
“A pillow?” Tobias wrinkled his nose at that.
Vater laughed. “Ja, a pillow.”
Tobias didn’t think that sounded fun, at all.