Jasper came in and we had an incredible night. We sat up talking and laughing and getting to know each other on a personal level. The more I got to know about him, the more comfortable I felt in opening myself up to him. I had no idea what the was when Jasper took my hand and walked me out onto my veranda. Sitting down, he pulled me gently into his lap, wrapping his arms around me and holding me tight.
Neither of us spoke any words, neither of us needed to. We were content to sit here, in this moment in time, the true comfort of silence found. As I felt my eyes getting heavy, I noticed the first rays of light starting to come over the horizon and I opened my eyes for a fleeting moment to try and appreciate it better. Sleep overtook and I woke some time later to Jasper placing me down on my bed. “I’m sorry, I fell asleep.”
“I keep telling you, you have nothing to be sorry for.” My eyes were drawn open when I felt his thumb brush across my bottom lip and I saw him staring back down at me intently. “You look stunning, naturally beautifully aren’t you Lucy Mills.” His hand slid across my cheek and round the back of my neck as he moved down and placed a soft kiss, barely on my lips. I was about to open my eyes when Jasper eased me gently, but firmly further onto the bed, pushing his mouth hard onto mine. I explored his full lips sucking, nibbling and teasing, before his tongue slid urgently into my mouth, showing me without words just how much he wanted me.
My breathing became ragged as he looked me right in the eye and slowly slid both hands across my shoulders, slipping them underneath the straps of my top, then pulling them slightly off my shoulders. His kisses became tender as he slid his lips down my neck, fluttered them along my collarbone, causing me to push my aching body up into him, before he made the slow and torturous journey back. Not stopping there he repeated the same agonising movement on the other side. Once he was certain he had me worked up like he wanted, I felt him return to my lips and kiss me hard before sitting up. “I am going to let you get some sleep ok?” I looked at him stunned, wondering if this was a joke.
Nope, he was serious.
“I will text you the address of my hotel, meet me there at five alright?” I said yes and asked why? “I have a first lighting rehearsal but there is another show on there at lunch time. And besides you need some sleep, and I probably should too.”
“You are welcome to stay.” Oh Shit! I realised what I said the moment the words left my mouth. “I meant, you know, to sleep.”
“Lucy, it’s ok. I know what you meant. I really would like to, more than you know, and I will. When the time is right for us both and those nerves I know you still have are finally gone for good.” He kissed me again before standing up. “I can see myself out, and I will lock up. See you at five Lucy Mills.”
“See you then Jasper.” I am pretty sure the moment he shut the door and I left I was fast asleep. Thankfully, I had managed to set my alarm first so I was up with plenty of time to have a shower and wake up properly. I got a cup of coffee afterwards and sat in peace enjoying it before having to race around to get ready.
I shot off a message to Tania and Jodie asking if they wanted to do coffee tomorrow morning around ten. I hadn’t made the effort this week and I promised to tell them everything. Well almost everything. As a result I was feeling like a pretty lousy friend right now. Grabbing my bag, car keys and phone I got locked up and headed to my car making my way into the city. Thankfully Jasper had organised parking for me which was one less thing to worry about.
After arriving and parking up I made my way up to reception where he said he would meet me. As I came around the corner I saw him talking to a young woman. As I got closer I saw the woman give him a hug and then a kiss on the cheek. I couldn’t help but feel the instant pang of jealousy, fear and doubt boil to the surface. Unconsciously I had started walking slower and must have nearly come to a stop as a clerk from the hotel came over and asked if I needed assistance. Pointing out I was fine, I indicated to where Jasper was and started moving again. For some reason, I hadn’t quite worked out yet I did not want to head over there. Not when he was with another girl, more importantly, not when it was any of my business. The decision was already made for me, when Jasper noticed and waved me over. Sucking it in and pulling my big girl pants up, I made my way over. “Hey Lucy!”
“Hi Jasper.” I smiled at them both waiting for him to continue.
“Lucy, I would like you to meet my cousin Amber.” Cousin! Jesus Christ Lucy! It’s his cousin. Get a grip of yourself girl.
“Hi Amber, it is nice to meet you.” As Jasper and Amber finished up their conversation, I was feeling like a fool for automatically going to the worse case scenario. Why do I keep doing that! It is neither fair nor warranted when Jasper has done everything to prove me wrong, repeatedly. And he doesn’t even have to try in order to do so. I want so badly to believe his motives are true, but I am so scared of completely letting myself go and ending up on a free fall. I can’t do that to myself. As Jasper and I said goodbye to Amber, we made our way out and flagged down a taxi. Jasper opened the door for me as I thanked him.
“No problem. You look like a zombie by the way. You probably should have had another coffee.” Thanking him for highlighting the obvious I laughed. “It got your attention at least. Why are you being a space cadet?” Not wanting to tell the truth I put it down to tiredness. “Don’t worry, if you start drooling I will give you a nudge.”
“You’re a true friend Jasper.” I saw the look on his face when I said friend. Confusion, rejection, a hint of sadness. I reached out and took his hand, giving it a squeeze between both of mine. “Friend was probably a very loose term. I hope you know how special I think you are Jasper.”
He turned his head to look sideways and smiled at me. I noticed his smile didn’t quite meet his eyes though. “Thanks Lucy.” I continued to hold his hand the rest of the drive, I don’t really know why, but I almost felt compelled to. Whatever I had said in that moment, in that context, had changed the entire mood within the car, and in truth it felt stifling. So I was instantly filled with relief when we pulled up and he opened the door, helping me out.
The rehearsal this afternoon didn’t take as long, but I could sense Jasper wasn’t really feeling it and seemed distracted. They had been nice enough to let me take some photos which I had, but that was when I had noticed he didn’t seem his normal jovial self. When everything was finished and wrapped up by six thirty, Jasper made his way down and sat next to me for a minute. “So, what did you think?”
“I think fans are assholes.” Jasper laughed asking what I meant. “We nag and nag for shower after concert after tour. There is a hell of a lot of work that goes into making it all come together.” He nodded and smiled at my acknowledgement. “So are you finished now, or do you have to head back up?”
“I am finished, we are free to go if you are ready?” We walked out and got a taxi, heading back to the hotel which was a nightmare in traffic at this time of day. “Seriously, how do you drive in this every day? I would lose my head having to put up with this.”
“The simple answer is, I don’t. I prefer my sanity.”
“I don’t blame you. Some of these driver’s are just maniacs.” Arriving at the hotel, Jasper paid the driver and we got out and headed towards the lobby. “Are you free tonight, we could grab some dinner if you wanted?”
“Dinner sounds good Jasper.”
“Is the hotel restaurant ok? The food is quite good to be honest.” As I went to answer, I got cut off by his phone ringing. “Excuse me a moment, would you mind if I answer this?”
“Not at all, please do.” I waited quietly as he answered his phone. I couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation but I could hear Jasper.
When he said Hello and then confirmed it was Jasper speaking, I was shocked what came out of his mouth next. “Holy shit! Brax Carson?”