Chapter 16 <Dead to me>
What was more frustrating? The fact that I can’t just live in the moment and not worry about what might happen or the fact that every time I got happier I had more to lose.
At school I was living my best life with my friends and actually having fun, joking about every stupid thing and making fun of each other. Singing along to embarrassing songs. I’ve never felt more alive.
When I was away from my friends I was sad, not because they weren’t here, but because if they are not here nothing bad can happen, I can’t say anything that would make them get mad. I can’t do stupid things that would make them mad. If I’m not with them I can’t ruin the friendship I have.
I was so frightened that everything I love can disappear any second...
I woke up with slightly spinning head. I think I slept just too little. Aaron brought me home only at 3.a.m. thankfully my dad didn’t notice... I think... if he did I’m sure he would say something.
Everything would be usual if delicious pancake smell wouldn’t come from downstairs. Dad must be in a really good mood if he is making breakfast.
I got dressed today a little more thoughtful than usual. I did it for Aaron. It’s not like I felt I need to dress for him. Because I think that he likes me the way I am. I just want to dress for him and not need to. I came to realization that that is major difference.
I took my bag and went to kitchen since I wasn’t going to go back to my room.
I walked downstairs following the food smell. I walked around the corner just to find a women standing by the counter with her back to me. What the...
She turned around. Meredith! “Good morning Victoria” she saw that I was shocked and that made her a little insecure. I saw that she was shifting her eyes everywhere but me. Well this was awkward... and weird...
I was still looking at her weirdly like watching her every move. “I...I didn’t know what you like. So I made some pancakes and toasts. But if you don’t like that... I...I can make something else” she said rushing.
I didn’t say anything, I took a seat by the counter and took one pancake on my plate. That probably was the best pancake I have ever had... but I didn’t tell her that. I need to keep my cool until I get to know her. I’m assuming she will come ‘visit’ again since she is the first women dad has brought home and dad doesn’t strike me as the one night stand type. My dad is more like, if he had a women it would be his one and only.
Then out of nowhere doorbell rang “I’ll get it.” My dad yelled before I could make a move, I bet he is thinking that Aaron will be there. He has gotten quite overprotective of me lately asking me about Aaron. I always said he is just friend. I guess he would go completely mad if he knew what I and Aaron are now.
Wai... what are we? We are not a couple. But also we are not really just friends. You know since friends don’t kiss each other. Well... I guess that depends. But we are not friend who kiss, because that’s weird. But what if that’s all he wants? What if he would just say that yesterday was a mistake? Maybe I just caught him in a state where he was vulnerable and he wanted to get his mind of things and I was just there. But the again... why would he ask me on a date? And then again he never said it was a date....
I was so overthinking this... and everything else.
“Grandma Lauren is here.” A woman voice yelled coming in the kitchen. What a ‘good’ way to start morning.
“Victoria. Good morning honey” she said to me before she turned to Meredith. Oh this is going to be fun... or not...
I tried to stop the ‘who blinks losses’ game Lauren and Meredith was playing except Lauren was full on detective mode now but Meredith was scarred as sheep. “Grandma why are you here?” I asked her.
Lauren put up her pointer finger at me ‘wait a minute’ gesture. And that was all that made me stop talking.
Now dad walked in the kitchen “Lauren!” He warned her about anything she might do.
Lauren took few steps closer to Meredith “who are you?” She questioned.
“No. I didn’t ask your name yet Meredith” she warned.
My dad got involved now. “She is my girlfriend” he explained. Wow just wow. Already calling her girlfriend. Dad never got the chance to introduce her as his girlfriend to us and grandma is the first to know.
My grandma raised an eyebrow at him. “What are you, some teenage boy?” She questioned and it did seem weird that dad was calling someone his girlfriend. Geez Cameron was missing so much while sleeping.
Another doorbell rang. “What is it with everyone coming without invitation?” My dad yelled and went to the door but grandma beat him. “I’ll get it”
I saw that she opened door and looked for some time at the person” well don’t just stand there handsome boy.” She said. Handsome boy?
Of course Aaron. “What are you doing here love.” My grandma asked Aaron and put her arm around him. And as soon as Aaron spotted me he smirked at me.
“I’m here to pick up Victoria to school” he explained. Why though. He lived on the opposite way to school.
My grandma looked at me and then at Aaron “oh I see.”
“What did I tell you boy. I can drive Victoria there. “My dad had his beast mode on. “What are your intentions with my daughter?” Oh god Cameron was right...
“Oh I...” Aaron spoke but grandma interrupted “don’t you dare hurt my Victoria. Boy. You may seem like a million dollar handsome boy but I can see right through you” what was grandma doing...
“If you have any intentions on hurting her you will have to deal with me first” my dad crossed his arms in front of him.
“I...” Aaron caught off.
“What makes you think that she will drive around with you?” Grandma asked. And this time complete silence fell on us.
Aaron looked at me and then back at grandma. A little panicking “She’s my friend” He said.
I looked at Meredith who looked completely stunned about all of this.
I quickly went to stand in between Aaron and dad before my dad punches Aaron. “Okay. Can we all calm down?” I asked mainly to dad.
“Tori we are just worried for you. We don’t want you hurting. Your mom and sister hurt you enough when they walked away. “Shit. My grandma did not just say that. I told my friends they were dead.
Aaron raised an eyebrow at Lauren and that made her question me “tori. What did you tell this boy?” She questioned.
I didn’t know what to say and everyone was looking at me. “not that” I quickly say under my breath . But I will be going with Aaron so that will be interesting.
We exited and quickly I sat in the car. At first Aaron didn’t question but halfway there he spoke “you said they were dead.” He pointed out.
I let out a heavy breath “dead... to me” I say quiet but enough loud for Aaron to hear.
“Why did you have to lie?” He asked me. I was a liar.
“What difference would it make?” I questioned.
“You need to tell at least Riley” he said eyes good to the road.
“I know.” I really wanted to change the subject “why did you pick me up?” I asked.
“About yesterday,,,,. You should just forget about it. its better if we stay friends. ”
Forget about it. So was just a distraction to him. Without much thinking I got out of the car hurrying to school. I wasn’t sad just angry.
Aaron caught up to me and spun me around “what?” I said frustrated.
“I’m sorry. Friends?” He asked me.
“Why did you ask me out yesterday?” I questioned.
“I don’t know. Okay? I don’t know why I do half of the things I do...” he explained “I don’t want things to be awkward now. Friends?” He asked again.
“The only thing that will connect us is our friend group but we can never be friends. Because for some reason normal conversations between us is just not something we do.” We always ended things on bad note, with us arguing.
I walked away. And thankfully he didn’t fallow.
This is why I get so scarred of happiness all the time because times like this will come when I feel complete anger towards myself for being so naive and clueless.
I spot Riley. “Hey... what’s wrong?” She asks worried.
I ended up explaining everything to her about Aaron and me.
“I’m so sorry that I encouraged it” was all she said.
I let out a laugh “stop apologizing. You did nothing wrong.” “And besides I’m not like heartbroken or anything, just plain angry.”
“And I am so happy that you are here. Thank you Riley. Not necessarily in this place but in this place in my life.” I said to her and somewhat sad look appeared in her eyes. “Riley you are truly great friend. Just promise that you’ll never leave me” I was the one with watery eyes.
Riley took me in a hug “I’m glad that you are in my life Tori. And I will never forget you” she said and that was a weird remark but it didn’t matter.
“And also Riley. I kind of lied about my sister and mom” I say and she looked confused “my mom was alcoholic and left me when I was 13. And my sister was drug addict and she moved to live with mom. I haven’t seen or heard from them. I just thought that telling they are dead is easier. I’m sorry” I waited for a response. But again she pulled me in a hug.
Who would have thought I would like hugging people this much...