Friendship, Love and Hate

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Chapter 22 <Bellow average>

Aaron stayed with me till my grandma came after an hour to visit. Now she was the one comforting me sitting next to me on the sofa with one arm over me. I was mad at Aaron and he knew that but not any emotion can top the heartbreak I am feeling.

I was mad at myself “how could be I be so oblivious?” I say out loud as she rubs her hand against my back “I saw that something was wrong but I just let it slip away.” I cried. I haven’t stopped crying. “What will I do without her?”

“The same you did with her. Make her proud of who you are. I believe that she is somewhere watching” grandma said in a soothing voice.

“That’s bullshit that people tell others to make them feel good but it doesn’t help.” I pointed out not worrying about my cursing.

“She didn’t tell you about what was happening because she didn’t want you sulking about it. It wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t hers either.”

“Then who was it? Faiths?” I mocked the last word.

A sigh escaped her lips “I know it’s hard. And I wish I could ease the pain. But only you can figure out how to do it.”

We stayed like that till ten a clock, dad still wasn’t home, Cameron was in his room, grandma made him leave us alone. I hate that Cameron has sister with such messed up life.

After I went to bed, I got couple of texts from Aaron. I left every message on read to make sure he knew I am okay... well as okay as I can be. He cared for me. And I don’t know what he found in me other that glass figure bound to fall and shatter into million pieces.

When I woke up...well...I didn’t actually wake up in the morning, I couldn’t sleep all night. I felt like shit. I heard people walking around house, then a doorbell rang. I didn’t bother.

Someone knocked on my door and dad entered. “Hey Tori” he said and went over to me to sit on my bed. “I called to school, and you don’t need to worry about studying now. Rest. And ... and...” he was struggling to find the words. He was never the emotional talker, but I always knew he cared, he just didn’t have it in him to express it as needed.

“Thank you dad” I say and he smiled at me. I didn’t even think about school. I forgot that even existed.

“I love you darling, and Cameron too, and... Lauren too” he said “remember that if you need to talk to someone we are here”

Dad cleared his throat “that kid is here again” he said.

“What kid?”

“A...admix...Adrian?” He stuttered.

“Aaron” I corrected him “tell him I’m not going to school” I thought he already had a feeling I am not going.

“He isn’t either. He came here to check on you. And said that he didn’t want to leave you alone. But I made it clear that Lauren is here. He also said that he needed to talk to you” he explained. Dad wasn’t against him being here, that was something new.

“I’ll go get myself cleaned up. Tell him I’ll be down in bit” I said and he nodded.

I took a warm shower and brushed my teeth I knew that dad and Cam would already be gone. Only now here is Lauren to babysit on me.

I walked downstairs and Aaron was sitting down in an armchair. Leaning back, eyes closed. I guess he didn’t get any sleep either. I didn’t look much better too. I had terrible bags under my eyes, and they were all red from crying.

I walked over to him “Aaron” called out and he shot up hugging me. “Hey” he said.

“Good morning” I say to him and we broke the hug.

“How are you?” He asked.

“...below average...”

He smirked “yea. Me too”

Grandma came into the living room “I think you two should get some sleep. Both of you go to Tori’s room and rest. I won’t tell Daniel.” She said pushing us to go.

It was true I needed to sleep. But I didn’t even think about the fact that I needed to sleep with Aaron until he was lying beside me.

He took me in his hold and my face was now resting on his chest. I fell asleep in no time.

I woke up. And had a strange feeling. Like when you fall asleep somewhere unusual except it was just my room, the only unusual thing was Aaron next to me. He still had his arm around me holding me tight in the place. He was already awake, looking out the window. I was feeling dizzy and like flowing. I have never been in such a deep sleep in a daytime.

“Did you get any sleep?” I asked him and he looked right at me now facing me with us us both sleeping on our sides.

“Yea. I just woke up.” He said and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear and kissed my forehead. So simple and gentle but it made me feel too much. What if this what life is trying to tell me. That everything good has something bad, end to it.

Just few months and Aaron will be gone. It will be our end. We are together now just to wait those months to be separated. I don’t know if we will ever meet after that.

“I am going to visit Riley’s parents. Do you want to come with?” He asked me. “I’m going to check how they are doing. And I had a permission from Riley to take whatever I like from her room and she said you could too. Just some...souvenir.”

“I’d like that” I said and he pulled me in a yet another hug.

“What time is it?” I asked him as he reached for his phone.

“2.p.m” he said and we both headed downstairs and meet Lauren there.

“How did you two sleep?” She asked.

“Good” I answer her. Probably the best sleep I have ever had. I noticed that I now smell like Aaron. His scent was all over me and I wish it never disappeared.

“That’s good” she smiled but it turned into a serious expression “don’t tell Daniel I let him stay that long” she warned me and I nodded.

“We are going to meet Riley’s parents” I say to her.

“That’s great. You do that. They need someone right now. But don’t stay out long” she said and we both headed for Aarons car.

“Aaron?” I called out to him when he started driving


“When... she talked with you about being sick... was she sad?” I asked. Because if she was I would want to be with her, she always was with me when I was sad.

Aaron laughed it off “no. She never seemed like it was a big deal, I don’t how did she do it? If I was in her place I would go crazy. But I understand why she didn’t want people to know. I would probably do the same. “He laughed once again.

I mocked him “no you wouldn’t” he gave me questionable look. “I have a feeling you would shut everyone out” he nodded.

“How could you hide it so well?” that was the real question I never expected that he and Riley were ever hiding something.

“Well... they always said that I am heartless, cold, narcissistic... do I need to continue?”

Did he actually believe those things? “You are neither.” I said calmly looking at him and saw that he gripped his steering wheel harder and drove to the side to stop the car.

“Don’t you think that about me?” He questioned. “Do you ever wonder why I don’t let people close?” He looks straight at me. “Every people I let close get hurt by me sooner or later. I messed up Riley’s life before she came here.”

“What? You and Riley were friends but you’re friendship just ... faded. Sometimes it happens. “I say trying to recall what Riley said to me.

“Of course Riley didn’t tell you...” he said it more to himself “Riley was hated at her previous school because of me. Because of me she spend her school years hating herself for who she was. “He screamed and banged the steering wheel his veins popping in his forehead.

I swallowed the huge lump in my throat “Aaron what did you do?” I asked him.

“Riley had a diary. Her most precious possession. She once accidentally left it at my place, and...And some guys were over and I just let them read it, and make fun of it. And ...and I didn’t do anything about it. I laughed with them because I wanted to fit in with them, I was so concerned about people liking me that that I forgot about one person that I should care about. Her diary got leaked, everyone saw her deepest secrets. And I never did anything to stop it.” He said the last part whining.

I brought my hand to his shoulder “she forgave you. Didn’t she?” I asked.

He nodded “she made a deal with me if I kept her sickness a secret she would forgive me. And I did. And now I realized that I could break this one promise and let her live out the best moments.”

“Aaron...” I tried to calm him down.

“Victoria don’t you see that I will ruin you too?” He asked. “I am messed up. And I will go to hell if not take you with me.” He said to me.

I shifted a little closer and took his face in my hands I looked him straight in the eyes “than take me with you” I said not removing my eyes from his. “If hell is where you go I want to be there too”

He pulled me closer and kissed me hard. His hand was clutched on my waist pulling the fabric the pulling made my shirt go down to let my bra side showing. He kissed me like I was his last breath. We breathed the same air. I was against him as close as possible. I felt that he was holding back before, he liked to do ... things rough, and... I loved that too. His hand gripped my tight hard that made me gasp and he just smiled in the kiss.

I wonder if this was wrong for us to do thing now. I guess we caught each other in a vulnerable state where we couldn’t fight the emotions.

He pulled away and his mouth was all red. And wet from the kiss. “We should probably get going.” He said and pulled away completely starting the car again.

I was still hot from the kiss. I didn’t want him to stop but it was bright out and I just hope no car saw our intense kiss.

We drove in comfortable silence. And finally we stooped in a drive way at Riley’s house.

We slowly walked to the front door and Aaron knocked. This took longer than usual but then again none of this was usual. Finally Riley’s dad opened the door. “Hello children come in” he didn’t question much just let us right in, maybe Aaron said we are coming. Riley’s dad looked very tired, probably not sleeping enough.

“Diana! Victoria and Aaron are here” he said to Riley’s mom who was seated in the living room. She wasn’t crying she just looked much worn out.

“Oh hello darlings” she said smiling and hugged Aaron and then me. “How are you two holding up?” She asks us. I don’t know why she did. She was the one who lost a child.

“We are coping with it” Aaron spoke for us.

She nodded “Victoria I know that Riley kept everything a secret, but I hope you understand why she. Did” she said to me as I nodded. I’m trying to understand...

“I was wondering if we could go up. Have a look in Riley’s room” Aaron asked.

“Of course. Take as long as you like”

Aaron leaded me upstairs.

I didn’t know what the purpose of coming here was, it only brought back happy memories that were now painful.

I now realize that I had never had a real friend. The others were only... people I know. But now I lost my first best friend...

The length of friendship is nothing compare to quality of friendship...

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