With Hands to Hold

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17

“I know this might be hard for you, but I need you to be as honest as possible okay?”

The Doctor, Analise, made sure to be as gentle as possible while addressing the girl. She had never actually dealt with cases of abuse that were so severe before, so she wanted to be as thorough as possible.

Spiraea was uncomfortable, and she wished that Vincent was with her but she knew that he probably would not look at her the same way when he realised all the things she had gone through. When he realised she was a piece of trash.

The girl nodded, trying to block out the negative thoughts. She just had to focus for now, she would worry about Vincent later.

“And remember, we can stop at anytime.” Analise smiled encouragingly at the girl. “Okay, do you know when your last period was?”

Spiraea blushed, when Analise said her questions would be personal, she had realised they would be that personal.

Spiraea thought back, but her memory failed her. “Not for a couple months.”

“Have you always had irregular periods?” Analise clicked away at her keyboard whilst she spoke.

“Yes. I didn’t have my first period until I was 17. Marianne says that is... Como se dice...” She paused as she tried to find the right word.

“Uncommon?” Analise supplied for her, to which the girl nodded. “Well, it is slightly uncommon. Most girls start ovulating between the age of 10 and 15, but everyone is different.”

The questions continued, and got even more personal. Analise went on to ask about her sexual history which brought back a lot of unwanted, graphic memories for Spiraea.

She could hardly hold in her tears as she recounted some of the brutal things she had to experience. Analise herself struggled to maintain her professionalism, her own eyes pricking with tears.

Her Luna was so young and yet had endured so much that she never should’ve had to. Part of her just wanted to wrap her arms around the girl and hug her. It was a good thing that she had found Vincent, because when he found out there was no doubt that he would destroy Damien. And he would make him suffer.

Spiraea also underwent a physical exam, she was grateful that Analise was both patient and kind. Though when all was said and done, and the Doctor looked through her notes, she turned to Spiraea with a saddened look.


Vincent paced outside the small room. They were taking a long time.

He wanted to respect the girl’s wishes, but he also wanted to be there for her. He had felt her intense sadness through their bond on more than one occasion and it took everything within him not to break down the door to get to her.

Just as he was contemplating following through with his desire to burst into the room, Analise opened the door and ushered him in.

The sight before him broke his heart. She was crying, the sobs of a broken woman. His soulmate, his world, his.

She was sat exactly where he had left her only now her eyes were red rimmed and full of tears. She looked up at him with such a pained look that his heart clenched painfully.

“I-I’m s-s-sorry.” She wept bitterly, the tears flowing down her cheeks in an uncontrollable stream. “I c-can never g-give you what you want.”

Vincent wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms, comfort her, tell her that everything would be okay but in her current state it probably wouldn’t be best. In fact, he wasn’t even sure that she would even let him touch her.

“Please little one,” Vincent pleaded, taking a cautious step closer. “It’s okay.”

“No! It’s not!” She continued to weep, her knees weakening. If she wasn’t so hysterical she may have been fearful that she would’ve collapsed. Her sobs softened, until all she could do was repeat her broken plea in a haunting whisper: “I can’t give you what you want.”

“Baby, please, I don’t understand.” Vincent kept his voice calm, though it was really tearing him up to have to see his woman in such a way. It broke his heart to see her, curled up, bawling like a wounded child. He had to fight for control.

Another small step closer. He had to comfort her, to protect her- it was a burning need within him worse than anything he had ever felt before. However, there was nothing that could prepare him for the words that would come next.

“I’m barren.”

He stopped for a moment, frozen in place, his own eyes burning with the need to cry.

“No,” He whispered, but in reality he wanted to scream. He wanted to rage and rip something to shreds. Everywhere hurt, and he suddenly felt as if the universe was mocking him.

It was only the day before they had talked about having pups in the future. He felt as though the whole earth had been taken from below his feet.

Then he saw her. How frail and apologetic she looked, how disgusted she was with herself, and he wanted to wipe it all away.

He closed the distance between them his arms wrapping around her pulling her into him. His lips kissing the top of her forehead as he tried to soothe her the best he could.

She tried to push him away, but he wouldn’t let her go. The comfort he was offering her only made her cry harder— what could she offer him?

A few rogue tears escaped him as he tried to comfort her, but how could he when he was breaking too?

Analise could see how emotionally upsetting the news was for the couple. She didn’t want them to despair, but she also didn’t want them to get their hopes up too high.

“You have what’s known as ovulatory dysfunction, which is a problem with your ovulation. Now in some cases this can get better, and since you are still underweight this can be a significant factor.” The doctor prayed that such would be the case for her Alpha and Luna, it was no secret how much Vincent wanted a family. “But in any case, if you do try for children in the future, you may have a lot of difficulties and realistically, it may not even be possible. However, I would suggest another visit when that time comes. For now we’ll have to keep an eye on it, but first things first, you need to get up to a healthy weight.”


Spiraea felt numb. Just the previous day, she had considered what life would be life if she had a family with Vincent.

She had told him she wasn’t sure what she wanted, perhaps this was a punishment for her indecision. She felt guilty, and angry and just pure sadness.

She wasn’t sure before, but now she may never get the chance even if it was what she wanted. The universe was cruel. Even when she was happy, it found a way to take from her.

She hadn’t let Vincent touch her since, and every so often she would start to cry all over again. It took everything in her just to make it back to the cabin.

Once home she sat on the sofa, practically catatonic. A few hours had gone by, the sun had started to set and she still hadn’t moved.

Vincent didn’t know what to do. His wolf was howling in his head, pained and desperate to take away his mates pain and to release his own.

After countless attempts of comforting her, Vincents frustration broke. He had been holding back for so long, and today had pushed him over the edge.

He left her, in the silent house, alone on the sofa. A piece of Spiraea broke as the door slammed behind him, a fresh set of tears spilling forth as she listened to the deafening silence.

His wolf clawed at him, he could hardly make it out the door as the beast surged forward. His body hunched over on the grass as his change surged through him.

His bones snapped and reformed, teeth elongated, pores sprouted thick dark hairs. Everything in him changed until he was all fur, claw and beast.

He shot off through the woods, feeling the dirt beneath his paws and the wind in his fur. He ran until he could run no more collapsing below a tree in a mixture of exhaustion and emotion.

His insides felt hollow, utterly lost and alone. Even his wolf now, no longer felt its previous rage; both man and wold felt sadness. For the future they may never have, for the pain of the past their mate had to endure, for their incompetence of not being able to make things better.

It bubbled up inside him, exploding from his throat in a long, eerie howl.


When Vincent returned to the cabin, the lights still on. He had completely ruined his clothes in his shift, and didn’t want to frighten the girl. He wasn’t even sure if she had gone up to bed or was still on the sofa.

He went through the back door, remaining in his wolf form. His paws clacking lightly against the wooden floor as he moved slowly.

She was hunched over on the sofa, her head in her hands as she cried softly. He would have thought her to be all cried out by now, but her sadness was like a tidal wave and she was drowning in it.

He felt guilty for leaving her alone, even if she refused his comfort. It probably made her feel worse, as if he rejected her.

The thought alone was enough to make the wolf whine, the sad whimpering startling the girl. She looked up with wide eyes, looking at the beast before her.

Her initial reaction was to be afraid, it’s piercing eyes, and sharp canines were reason enough. She couldn’t deny that although she had been around werewolves before, they never got any less imposing, or... remarkable.

The beast was taller than her, by several feet but other than that looked like a regular wolf. It’s fur was a dark black, the same shade as Vincent’s hair. It’s eyes were also familiar, they resembled Vincents chocolate orbs.

Thinking about him made her heart clench. The more she stared at the wolf, the more it seemed familiar— she felt it within her. The same feeling that she got whenever she was around him.

“Vincent?”

The wolf nodded, he was about to take a step forward but thought better of it. Instead he sat on his haunches, whining at her with soulful eyes.

Her bottom lip wobbled and she looked conflicted at whether she should approach him or not. Just as she began to weep again, she ran over to him burying her face into the fur on his neck.

“You left me. I thought you-” she choked unable to finish her sentence.

The wolf sat, letting her take comfort from him. He nuzzled her face and neck with his big head; and for the first time since that afternoon, the girl felt a little bit better.

Eventually exhaustion caved in on the girl, putting her right to sleep in the warm, furry embrace of her wolf. Vincent couldn’t find it in himself to wake her or change back. He too was exhausted from the day’s emotionally overwhelming events.

So, They stayed like that for the whole night. The beast curled protectively around his mate, and the girl clinging tightly to her wolf.

Both holding on to the only future they were certain to have.

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