With Hands to Hold

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They had been guests at Adam’s pack for a week, though to both Spiraea and Vincent it had felt like so much longer.

Leaving was something that stirred mixed emotions within them- Spiraea would miss the kindness that she had experienced from Leora. Though she was terrified of the things that would come in the future, but she was more relieved that she wouldn’t have to go back with Alpha Damien.

Leora had given Spiraea’s had a friendly squeeze, not wanting to make her uncomfortable with an overfriendly hug, as well as promising to lend a ear if she ever needed to.

Vincent was grateful to Adam for the opportunity, even if simply by fate his invitation had led to the other Alpha finding his mate. He hadn’t ever made it known, but a small part of him had began to wonder if he even had a mate.

If there was one thing that Vincent didn’t have, it was patience. For a long time he didn’t understand the value of waiting or control- in his quest for instant gratification, he had given away what was meant for his mate. He used to laugh at Adam’s monk like display, but now he understood; a part of him felt ashamed and disgusting that he had given himself away and unlike his mate, he chose to do it.

No matter what he felt, he couldn’t change the past and so he made himself a promise that for his mate- he would wait. He would make sure that she was loved and looked after, he would devote himself to her, making sure that she knew how precious she was.

With another firm handshake, and a silent nod of gratitude, Vincent turned to leave. He and his Beta had travelled to Adams pack, accompanied by four of his most trusted pack warriors which altogether had taken up two cars. The Beta, whose name was Fletcher, decided to give is newly mated Alpha and Luna some privacy and joined two of the other males in the second car.

Spiraea was slightly upset at being separated from her friend and wondered if she would be okay in a car with those beasts of men. The remaining two warriors had shifted and would run half way before switching with the other warriors.

Spiraea had seen Werewolves shift before, but each and every time it made her stomach shift. She would never get accustomed to the breaking bones, or tearing flesh.

The transformation was a horrible affair, lasting between 15 and 20 minutes- she had seen some wolves die before they made it through their shift. It was truly only a breed made of the strong.

Vincent was more than eager to get back home, his mind already wandering to what had taken place whilst he was absent. His Gamma, Jax, had remained at the pack to look after it whilst the other two males were away. Initially the other man was supposed to take the trip down since it was the Gamma’s responsibility to oversee all matters pertaining to war and inter-pack relations. However he had been far too anxious, his wolf absolutely refusing to leave his sick mother behind.

He watched as the first car left, then as gently as he knew how to he led his new mate over to the second car. A sleek black BMW, parked right on the edge of the dirt drive. He held open the passenger side door for her, waiting patiently for her to get it.

To his surprise she hardly hesitated. Though it was more involuntary than anything else; part of her knew that she was safe with him, part of her recognised him as her protector.

It was an instinct that frightened her, because she knew this man for only a few days. It was conflicting, she had no idea if she was even control or if it was the strange pull she felt towards this man. For Spiraea, not being in control was normal but not when it came to her mind; now she wasn’t so sure, she wasn’t even sure if she could trust her own feelings anymore.

Moments later the echo of the car door sounded on the other side of the car. The vehicle was quiet as he started the ignition, pulling out of the drive, down the road, and towards a whole new future that Spiraea could only hope would be brighter than her past.

They had been on the road for a mere 30 minutes, the thick silence filling the space that stretched between them.

Vincent had managed to keep his eyes on the road, for the most part. Every so often his eyes would glance back to the quiet little thing beside him, he couldn’t help himself, he was just completely enraptured by her.

She had a delicate beauty to her, and he wanted to remember all of it. He wanted her imprinted, burned so deeply into his memory that he could look away and still have the lasting image of her.

His eyes traced over the side of her face drinking in her feature. The slope of her neck, shape of her nose, the angles of her jaw and cheekbone, the dark feathery eyelashes. The way her thick eyebrows were furrowed slightly, and her plump lips pursed as she retreated into her thoughts.

He could see them together, in every way possible; he could see it all. Her sitting on his lap in his office as they ran the pack together, he could see her eating dinner with his family, he could see her hair wrapped in his fist as he fucked her relentlessly from behind, he could see her birthing his child.

It excited him, he was ready for their future to begin. He was going to fight for them, starting right then and there.

“Are you comfortable?” His deep timbre baritone cutting through the silence. His eyes fixed on her hands, which were curling into each other as if she were cold. “The drive is a good 4 hours.”

Although he had tried to be gentle- he really had- he couldn’t help the gruff tone that had escaped him. He didn’t want to insult her by treating her like a baby or a wounded puppy, but he didn’t want her to think that he was at all angry with her. This whole mate thing was turning out to be far more difficult that he had originally thought it would be.

Spiraea startled by the sound, simply nodded meekly. She had picked op on his tone, which added to her resolve not to speak; from what she had observed of him, he wasn’t all that well spoken per say. He said directly what he meant, and naturally came across rather brash so she wasn’t sure if he was actually angry or it was just him.

“Words little one. Use your words.” It was both a command and an encouragement, one that Spiraea didn’t seem to mind. Perhaps it was something in his voice, or the growing unbridled magnetism between them, or maybe it was his words themselves but somehow the girl knew that his request was not a threat.

She had learnt from a young age what a promise of punishment sounded like, learnt to anticipate the blows. But Vincent did not speak to her like a man about to explode, no, instead he was simply stern- like a teacher scolding a student.

“Uh, sorry Alpha.” She spoke quietly, that accent of hers doing nothing to calm the rush of excitement that surged through the Alpha male. To him it was the sexiest thing he had ever heard, and those lips- God. All he could do was think about them wrapped around his cock.

He didn’t want her to think that was all he wanted her for, because there was so much more to their connection than that. He would have to show her the privilege of having a mate before he ever laid a hand on her in such a way.

Spiraea, realising she still hadn’t answered his question in the way that he’d liked, immediately rushed to speak again. “I’m very comfortable, thank you Alpha.”

“My name is Vincent, you can address me as such.” His hands tightened on the wheel, a small part of him feeling utterly guilty at the fact that he loved when she used his title. It appealed to both his wolf and masculinity, affecting him in a way he never knew it would.

Still he had to teach her that she was not below him, not by a long shot. In his mind, if anything she was above him and it was his privilege and delight to simply kiss her feet.

She tried, and just managed, to catch a glimpse of him out of the corner of her eye. She found that she wasn’t just drawn to him but she wanted so much more. She wanted to study him, to touch him and please him in nothing but the most innocent of ways. She craved something from him so deeply that she felt it like an itch under her skin- but it was more than that.

She wanted to give, give herself, give all that she had, anything that he wanted from her she would give him. She wanted to please him, and not just because it was what she had been practically taught to do- she actually felt excited at the notion of pleasing him, whatever way that it might be.

She suddenly felt very disappointed with herself, pushing away any such thoughts far from her mind. All those horrible things that Damien’s men flooding her mind- perhaps they were true. Here she was practically thinking of whoring herself off to this Alpha that she had only just met; they were definitely right. Only a garbage would want to be used.

She tried to defend herself against her thoughts, telling herself that she did not just want to please him in that way, but in other ways too. She wanted to see him smile- he had never seen him smile wholly because of her- she wondered what it would look like. Nonetheless, the vicious voices of her past continued to haunt her, tormenting her with cruel slurs until her resolve was beaten.

It was times like that that made her feel unsafe even in her own mind, just the thoughts and memories alone was enough for her to feel like she was living through the whole ordeal all over again. She whimpered, the small sound barely audible but still noticeable to the man beside her.

“What’s wrong?” Concern laced Vincent’s tone as he looked over to the girl. She had retreated into herself, curling up in the passenger seat as much as the limited space, and seat belt would allow her. “Are you hurt.”

She didn’t answer. The lack of reply only making the male more and more worried about his little mate. He knew something wasn’t right, he could smell it on her- the scent of her depression and disgust like poison leaking from her pores.

“Talk to me Spiraea, what’s wrong.” He cajoled her once again, his frustration building at her silence.

He was not a man of many words, and h was also not a man to be denied. His beast raged within wanting both respect from, and to help his mate. Vincent could feel as the creature tried to break out of his confinements of his consciousness demanding that he make her okay, that she spoke to him.

The girl was lost in her thoughts; trapped in her waking nightmare with no way to break away. The voices of her past growing louder, until she could hear nothing else- not even her own whimpers and sobs could cut through the dark, shapeless tormentors that were wrecking havoc upon her.

She didn’t notice as Vincent pulled over, or as he unbuckled and pulled her into his lap gently. He stroked her hair as he held her silently, comforting her as much as he could. His heart pounded painfully as he listened to her broken cries, in his veins a strong pull to simply keep her enveloped in his arms, where she was safe and warm, forever. All he hoped was that he would be able to reach her, regardless of how far away she was.

Even in the darkness Spiraea felt a warmth, so miniscule that she wasn’t even sure it was there. Then like a star coming into focus in the inky depths of the night, there was a beam of light and she let herself believe that this night would pass.

In his arms, Vincent felt the girl starting to relax- a cocktail of relief, joy and pride electrifying his senses. He could reach her. He promised himself that anytime that she fell into the twilight of her mind, he would be there to find her, to hold her until it passed. He would look after her, love her and make sure she knew that the night would not hold her captive- not whilst he was with her.

One day she would bathe in the glorious light.

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