Hopelessly Devoted

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You know you want this yummy, yummy all in your tummy

Them old mistakes are gone, I won’t do them no more,

Wearing my air pods, I danced along with Ciara while browsing my closet for the hottest clothes I could find. Maybe the midi skirt that had a deep slit up to my thighs would be ok. Better still, there was the plaid mini dress. I had a pair of earrings that could match it. A birthday gift from Mia. ‘Shit! ’, I cursed. Why the hell was I so choosy?

I just keep elevating, no losses, just upgrading

My lessons made blessings, I turned that into money

Thoroughly pissed off, I slammed the closet door so hard that it nearly broke off it’s hinges.

‘Careful with that baby! The poor door hasn’t done nothing wrong! ’, Mom called from the kitchen. I could smell freshly brewed coffee and vanilla French toast. Delicious. Meanwhile, a fancy pink strip of paper had fallen out of my closet. A love letter, perhaps? Wrong.

Dear Future Self,

You’re the prettiest senior in Nashville High. You’ve got a boyfriend who’ll lay the world at your feet. Your grades are high, and they’re rising everyday so, teachers love you. Why not take a vacation, then? Or skip a day of school to just munch popcorn and watch Netflix on your sofa? I’ve got a cool idea: take a road trip with your friends: you’ll have a ton of fun riding past the town, letting your hair loose and playing in the wind!

Don’t take crap from nobody, girl. Elevate your level; know your self-worth. Now is probably the time to volunteer at the neighborhood shelter to assist those homeless folks in winter. Above all, remember your code:

Be. Shamelessly. Me.

Much love,


Wow! I did write this, didn’t I? I curled up on my bed to read it over and over, it was so pure and innocent.

‘Breakfast is ready, baby! ’

As I clutched the letter with shaking hands, sweat droplets formed on my forehead despite the air conditioning system in my room. Maybe, maybe I could skip today off school. I’d miss Dan as hell, but he would check on me. I trusted him with my being. Speaking of whom, I blushed when I recalled the turn of events on Thanksgiving night. He was so exciting, touching me in all the right places. Where the fuck did he learn to fuck like that?

‘Your toast is getting cold, baby! Come on! ’

Through layers of clothes spewed on my bed, my phone buzzed.

Deep Blue Eyes: Morning, Snow. No sign of you in the hallway yet.

Me: Stalker.

Deep Blue Eyes: Can’t help it cause you’re too hot.

Me: You virtually set me on fire last night in the backseat.

Deep Blue Eyes: What the fuck are you talking about?

What the fuck was I talking about? Really, Dan? Did he have to be so dramatic? My phone buzzed another damned time.

Deep Blue Eyes: You’re coming? Can’t wait to see you in that sexy body.

Me: Nah. Got the flu.

Deep Blue Eyes: Shit. I’ll come right over. Don’t get into too much trouble, bunny. I’ll whip your ass if you try anything stupid.

I smiled. He was as overprotective as ever.

Me: Go to hell.

Mom had given up on both my breakfast and me to hurry up so she could catch the train. But, I had given up on breakfasts too. Poor French toast. I almost pitied it sitting in tin foil, freezing to death. The next time I get this freaking passionate about food, alert me.


After two periods of Science and English, I had damned AP calculus. And I was freaking out when Mr. Hampshire stepped in. Ok, this was the time to yell, ‘Next! ’

I had always seen the dude as a motherfucker. It had nothing to do with the fact that he loved picking his nose, or confusing me with Bryan, the nerd in the front row. And, as a revenge, he loved picking on me. Great. That made us even. Mia had hijacked the seat next to mine since Dianne wasn’t available. I could tell she was hating each minute too, for she was licking her pencil like it was a dick and staring at me.

My jaw dropped. ‘What?’, I asked.

She shrugged innocently as if to say, ‘I ain’t done nothing wrong’.

Unfortunately, Mr. Hampshire caught on our little act. Sweeping back his checkered blazers, he said through gritted teeth,

‘I think it’ll be more helpful if you focus on the math, Dan, instead of strippers. Then, you’ll earn enough bucks to fuck as many as you want, idiot. ’

I heard a few giggles from some nerds in front. This was all Hampshire’s fault but, I resolved to show him that nobody messed with me and got away with it. Squaring my shoulders, I rose in anger.

‘Sure. And while I’m fucking them, you’ll clean up after me, Hampshire. Say, who the hell do you think you are?’

‘See here, dude. I don’t take shit from no student_’

’Except me, of course. And why is that? Face it. I’m way too powerful for you, idiot. I’ve got a few bucks I could lend you in case you wanna fuck too. And don’t bother about paying back cause I know you’re too poor’.

Then he went sick with rage. His index finger shook as he pointed it at me, muttering,

‘I’d gladly accept your offer. So long as the hoe isn’t as ugly as Dianne’.

He was trying to get on my nerves. The good news was that, he succeeded. I. Was. Mad.

‘Take that back’, I growled.

He leaned against the board. ‘Make me’.

As I rushed at him in fury, only one thought ran through my head: to destroy the asshole. Before he could collect his thoughts, I slammed a punch into his jaw with all my strength. A line of blood began to trickle down his chin but, I wasn’t done yet.

‘Damn you!’, he cried. Suddenly, all those karate lessons I had taken with Dad before he started chasing money all over the States popped up. I gripped his throat tightly, and yelled, ‘Say one more word about my girl and you’re dead! You’re fucking dead!’

He was panicking; turning ghost white. ‘I said let go of me!’

My hold around his throat tightened because I wanted to snuff life out of him. Anyone who messed with Dianne around me didn’t deserve to live. I wanted him to be fucking sorry. I wanted him to die. He grappled with my white collar before coughing up blood which landed on it. I grinned. My dominant hand jammed square at his solar plexus, just under his chest.

‘Take that back!’, I yelled, attacking him. His hand had released my collar. It now hung limply on his stomach. It was then that I heard Rob screaming at me to stop. He had been screaming since the initial stage of our fight. But I was too excited to let the bastard go. Blood pumped through my veins at top speed, energizing my muscles so much that they flexed involuntarily, and their mission was to draw blood. As at then, the class had formed a circle around us, yelling, ‘One, two, three, four…’

This was out of my control. I glared at his battered lump on the floor in anger. But, he was smiling. The motherfucker was smiling.

‘You got what you wanted, Dan, didn’t you? Happy now?’

I desired to crush him there and then. He was mocking me and everything I stood for: my girlfriend, my parents, everything.

‘Dianne is an idiot. She doesn’t deserve you, dude. And day will come when she’ll hurt you, I swear. You’ll wish you never met her but it’ll be too late’.

When I aimed my fist high, it came crashing down on his nose, breaking his cartilage. He was laughed, holding his bleeding nose. He spat bloody mucus on the floor, taunting, ‘She’s got her eyes on someone else, boy. And when she does desert you, you’ll be fucking sorry you ever hit me for her sake. Fuck you!’

My vision blurred. I heard only his words resonating over and over: You’ll wish you never met her but, it’ll be too late. Dianne couldn’t hurt me, could she?

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