Bad boy (REWRITTEN!)

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12. Prom

The whole week has been hell for me.

Prom this and prom that. Their so obsessed with their dresses and shoes and hair and suits and ties.. Blah blah blah.

At least Clayton is back this week. He looks tired and I found myself wondering if he missed me as much as I missed him last week.

I keep wanting to go and talk to him. But then I remember that he's avoiding me.

It's Wednesday and I almost ran into Clayton yesterday but luckily I saw him just in time to run the other way.

It sucks that this is what we've turned into. We used to always fist-bump if we ran into each other between classes and now we avoid each other like the plague.

Sigh.

In science and math I went and sat as far away as I can from him.

He was staring at me today. It's weird. I'm not used to him looking at me like that. So I just looked out the window and made as if I didn't see him staring.

But I did and I can't help but feel myself longing to look at him. But I don't.

~~~~

Thursday went by quickly and without a hitch.

Now it's Friday afternoon.

I'm in my room lounging on my bed trying to ignore my phone. Since this morning everyone has been posting about Prom and their dates etc.

I have this longing to go but I don't. I suddenly think about the dress hanging in my closet.

It's a beautiful black dress that flows down to my ankles. It's got no sleeves but two thick straps over my shoulders that lead to a zig-zag style knot on my back. From the waist down the dress it puffy and when I spin in it it lifts up beautifully.

I bought that dress last year on a whim. It was just like this week with girls fussing over their dresses and shoes so I bought it when I saw it in a store window at the mall one afternoon while grocery shopping.

I shake my head to get it out of my head.

I'm not going.

I think of Clayton and wonder who his date is this year. I wonder if he went.

This time every year he would be asking me what colour tie he should wear to match his Prom dates dress and what corsage to buy for her.

I miss him.

~~~~

It's Friday night and I've talked myself into putting on the dress and styling my hair by curling it. I even put on makeup and a pair of black and white sneakers.

I don't know why. The sudden urge to act normal for a change hit me.

I'm looking at myself in the mirror and can't believe it.

This is me.

The dress sits beautifully on me. It's not overly showy but it's also not too conservative. I love these shoes too. They're simple converse sneakers that I always wear on special occasions or whenever I want to.

I don't know what made me put it on but I guess I just wanted to feel special tonight. Like all the girls who are getting ready to go to Prom with their dates.

I decide to go for a walk.

~~~~

I somehow ended up at the park; sitting in the dress alone on the park bench thinking about Clayton.

I miss him. So much. It's driving me crazy not being able to talk to him. Yes we haven't been very close these past two years but we would still talk to each other. Now it's like we're on two different planets.

There's only one thing left to do.

I start to sing.

"Those girls in glass vases.

Perfect bodies, perfect faces.

They all belong in magazines.

Those girls the boys are chasing, winning all the games their playing.

Their always in a different league.

Stretching toward the sky like I don't care.

Wishing you could see me standing there.

But I'm a sunflower, a little funny. If I were a rose maby you'd want me.

If I could I'd change over night. I'd turn into something you'd like.

But I'm a sunflower, a little funny. If I were a rose maby you'd pick me.

But I know you don't have a clue, this sunflower's waiting for you.

Waiting for you.

No thorns in this demention.

Hiding this fear of rejection.

This high I've never felt so small.

Not used to this attention, permanently in suspension.

I wish I didn't care at all.

Stretching toward the sky like I don't care.

Wishing you could see me standing there.

But I'm a sunflower, a little funny. If I were a rose maby you'd want me.

If I could I'd change over night. I'd turn into something you like.

But I'm a sunflower, a little funny. If I were a rose maby you'd pick me.

But I know you don't have a clue this sunflower's waiting for you.

Waiting for you.

But I'm a sunflower, a little funny. If I were a rose maby you'd pick me.

But I know you don't have a clue this sunflower's waiting for you.

Waiting for you."

"You know I love sunflowers." I hear a deep voice say from behind me.

Startled I look behind me to see Clayton standing there in a black suit with a black tie and dress shoes. Always so handsome.

"What.. Wha...what are you doing here?" I ask while standing up looking up at him bewildered.

He walks closer until there's only a few steps between us.

"I went to your house but you weren't there so I came here. You used to always do that when we were younger. Come here whenever you wanted to be alone." he says and comes to stand right in front of me; there's barely any space between us.

I take a few steps back. "Why aren't you at prom?" I ask and see him looking down at what I'm wearing. I suddenly feel self conscious and hug myself.

"Wow... You.. You look beautiful Angela." he whispers.

I blush brightly and hug myself closer. "I came here looking for you. We need to talk Angela." he takes another step forward.

I can't do this. I can't face him. Not yet.

As that thought crosses my mind I turn on my heel and start running home.

"Wait! Angela!-" I hear Clayton yell but is silenced by the thunder.

I don't stop running but look up when I feel little drops of water falling on my face.

Rain.

What perfect weather to describe how I feel right now.

I run faster. The rain starts pouring and I'm soaking wet once I get home. But before I can get through the door I'm pulled back into a strong chest and look up to see a soaking wet Clayton staring down at me with fierce determination in his eyes. We're standing on my porch.

I try to get out of his grip but he just holds me tighter. It's futile. He's much stronger than me.

He turns me around and I look down but he lifts my chin up with the hand that's not around my waist.

Tha dump. My heartbeat quickens.

"No Angela. You told me what you wanted to and now it's my turn. Your going to keep quiet and listen to me. " he says fiercely leaving no room for arguing. So I slowly nod my head.

"Angela... "

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