Though my lungs begged me to stop, I didn’t, I ran as fast as I could to my safe place, the place I’d gone to every time something went wrong. I missed being able to do this, the last time I came here was about five years ago and before they left. I missed this feeling, this feeling of knowing I have, I’ve missed knowing that no matter how shit my life can get I always have somewhere and someone to turn to. So as I neared the gate of the farm, a smile tugged at my mouth knowing that here I was safe.
My legs gave out as I reached the front porch, I couldn’t hold in the tears anymore, Nikki had died all because of me. Tears poured out of me as if I had opened the flood gates, I didn’t even realize that I wasn’t alone, that someone had heard me crying and had wrapped their arms around me holding onto me so tight I might burst. I felt so numb, I didn't notice until I heard him speak.
“Hey, its okay. What happened?” His voice calm yet angry, Jackson had always been like that when it came to me, overprotective. I just cried harder, he was nice to me and I know that even after I tell him he wouldn't yell at me like Kyle did.
“Why don't you go have a shower, put on some comfy clean clothes whilst I’ll make you some hot chocolate then we can talk, or binge watch Barbie movies and Peppa pig.” Even after all these years he still knew exactly what made me smile. I nodded and we headed inside.
I jumped into the shower letting the scalding hot water burn my skin and hopefully bring back some feeling in it. I let the water run over my tear streaked face, washing away the stains the heartbreaking afternoon had left. I hoped out and wrapped a towel around my red skin.
“Jackson. I don't have anything to change into.” I yelled out.
“I put some clothes just outside your door, they may be a bit big but they should do.” He yelled back, sure enough when i opened the door I looked down and saw a navy hoodie and grey tracksuit pants. I had to roll the tracksuit pants a few times at the waist just so they would somewhat fit me.
"You look like a mess." Jackson voiced as I entered the lounge room where sure enough my favourite Barbie movie was set up, hot chocolate and popcorn were placed on the coffee table and blankets and pillows all lay at the end of the couch ready for use.
"Thanks, I feel like a mess." I said walking over and plonking down beside him on the couch.
"Talk to me about it?" He asked knowing me so well. I nodded and turned to face him. I dove right into the story telling him everything from Kyle ditching me on our date to what had happened that afternoon. He gasped a few times, got angry when he should, but when I told him about this afternoon he surprised me by jumping up and started yelling.
"That's absolute bullshit! It's not like you asked Tim to shoot her. What is his problem." He looked at me and his eyes softened, "I'm so so sorry Addi." he went to say something else but a knock at the door stopped him, we both walked over and saw two policemen standing there.
"Are you Addison Carter?" I nodded. "We need you to come down to the station for a statement as to what happened today." I nodded again and left with the officers.
'Her dark brown curls danced in the wind as she entered the farm, mystery and beauty lacing her features. My eyes glued to her as she twirled around in the rain. She loved the rain, she said it gave her rush and made her insides tingle with anticipation. She danced around the farm never staying in one place for to long.
"Why don't you stay in the one spot." I call out to her, she turned to face me her hair now soaked from the rain.
"Two reasons, One I want to feel the rain in every spot and see if its heavier in some areas and two I don't want any part of the ground to feel lonely so I must dance on it all." Her smile grew wider as she danced around the yard.
"Come on Kat dance with me." She called out to her twin sister.
"No way its pouring outside." Kat was practically inside the way she was leaning against the front door, I stood off the front porch and headed out into the freezing rain.
"I'll dance with you." I spoke grabbing her hand, I pulled her towards me, I held her close to me and begun to waltz with her close to me.
"Jackson when did you learn to dance like this?" She asked her light blue eyes looking into my green ones.
"Your grandmother taught me when I first came here." I spun her around and continued to dance.
"I'm glad she did." She spoke quietly.
"Me to princess, I could dance like this forever." I stated, looking down at her.
"Me to my prince, forever and always." She looked up at me smiling her adorably cheesy smile.
"Forever and always." I smiled.
I woke up panting and sweating, I haven't had a dream like that since I left. I turned to the left of me and saw her dark curls sprawled out across my arms and the couch, we had fallen asleep watching Barbie movie after Barbie movie, trying to take her mind off what happened at the police station. Little snores escaped passed her soft rosie lips. My princess.
I grabbed a blanket out of the linen cupboard and placed it over Addi, I headed over to the kitchen to where my laptop charged on the counter, I hadn't checked anything once Addi got here, she needed me. I replied to a few emails from John and told him that Addi was here. When I checked the time again it was 8am.
I could hear noises coming from behind me, someone was probably in the kitchen. A scent of bacon and pancakes filled the room and my stomach spoke in appreciation, slowly I rose up from my comfortable position, my eyes still closed, and turned my head to face what I think is the kitchen.
"Whatever that is smells good." I spoke up.
"Morning princess." My eyes snapped open as he called me his nickname for me when I was a kid. "there's bacon, eggs, pancakes, waffles, apple and cinnamon muffins and juice." Jackson explained.
"Princess?" don't get me wrong I loved hearing it but I had to know where this name came from.
"Yeah, sorry its just... Do you remember when it poured down here in the summer? You and Kat had just turned ten and your grandpa told us not to go out into the rain." He tried jogging my memory, stepping closer to me as I stood up from the couch. I shook my head at him. "You asked Kat to come dance with you and she refused to cause it was pouring and she hated the rain. So even though it was freezing cold and I wanted to be inside, I stepped out into the rain and grabbed you like this." He grabbed my waist in one hand and my hand in the other.
I remembered that night, it was pouring outside and I danced on every piece of earth so I could feel the rain in every location. Jackson came out and danced with me, we waltzed for ages until it was way passed our bedtime and my grandpa screamed at us to get inside.
"And we danced like this." He began dancing with me again, just like he had all those years ago.
"Do you remember know?" He asked, looking down at me.
"We got into so much trouble and then got really sick." I laughed placing my head on his chest, i felt it rumble against my head as he laughed with me.
"Forever and always my princess." He whispered into my hair.
"Forever and always my prince." I whispered into his chest.
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