'Rooming with Mr. Perfect'
Prologue: Tricky Life
As I stared at the clinical white ceiling of my school dorm and the faded blue paint on the walls, I could feel the emptiness growing up from my stomach to my chest. It was like a tree of desperation, spreading its black, gnarly branches around my body, squeezing and squeezing until I can not breathe anymore.
A tear slid down my cheeks and landed on my palms and I watched it with frustration and denial. And wonder. I had never been much of a crier. Not when my mom left me to God knows where, not when my dad remarried and started to see me as a stranger. Not when my life officially became hell.
I can not cry. I can not break down.
I couldn't afford to. Tears came with weakness and weakness was something I could not entertain.
I thought back to the call I had received from my father. I had once called him daddy with so much love -- he was my hero once, but now it was all a distant memory. He was close to a stranger to me, now.
Actually Christmas didn't come for another month, but... Maybe he didn't want me to crash their party at the last minute.
"We are sorry, Danie. We are going away for Christmas to Fiona's hometown. You have to call your aunt or stay in your dorm."
They. Fiona, my step mom. Dad. Their unborn baby. Fiona's daughter, Anna Sophia, Grand mother. They were a unit. A family.
Me. I was the odd one out. I had no place in that unit.
Aunt? Calling aunt? I thought with a wry smile. How could he even suggest that?
Aunt Giselle was the only one who was left of my memories with my mother, but aunt Giselle wasn't someone you would want to hangout during Christmas, or any other time. Not any more.
What would I even do with her on Christmas? Snort coke? Or maybe eat cookies dusted with cocaine? Or maybe party with one of her loser boyfriends and sing Christmas carols with them?
"It is alright." I had said then. It was never alright. And I knew he knew that, too, but he never cared enough to second guess my okays.
It was done. No I love yous, no take care of yourself. Sometimes I wondered why my father still called me. Maybe because he felt a sense of obligation, because I was his daughter.
Knowing that was the biggest torture one could go through. I could go through. Knowing that you were only a duty. A responsibility. And nothing more.
Grand mother loved Anna Sophia more than her own blood- me. Anna Sophia was perfect, she walked and talked like grand mother. She was pure sophistication in 4 inch high heels.
Me, one the other hand, was my mom's daughter. I looked like mom. Talked like mom. Mom, who ran away from this perfect asylum --I don't hate mom for running away, because I do want to run away when I am there, as well. I just hate that she ran away without me-- and that was enough for my grandmother to hate me.
And yes, my dad, maybe he loved Anna Sophia more than me, as well. She might have been the daughter he would have wanted. She was perfect. They were all perfect in their perfect dresses and perfect home.
I was the blight in their picture perfect. I'm the red eye. Or a strange flash.
Fiona was never malicious or anything with me, she didn't treat me like a slave or anything when I grew up, but she just couldn't accept me as a part of their perfect family.
I had always been an outsider even when I was living at home. Maybe my mom had felt that, too and maybe that was why she had to break free and fly away.
I was eight when my mom sent me to grandmother house, for Christmas. Dad came later. And mom never came back for me.
Life as I had known it by then changed.
Their family wasn't picture perfect when I was there in it. Stuck. Odd. Out of the place.
That family, with me in it... It was just an illusion. We went to parties together, and I always stood on the outside, watching my step mom, my dad, her daughter.
Me. I was too ordinary to be a part of that extraordinary picture.
I was the passerby watching magical creatures.
But it had been bearable, until one day, one day. My life was turned upside down.
That happened. And I still didn't know who to blame. Daisy? Or Fate? Or God? Or Samantha?
Daisy. She was everything to me. Everything hopeful in my hopeless life. Every color in my monochrome. My best friend. My partner in crime. My soul sister. And then one day, when I knew I couldn't live my life without her, I lost my best friend to some cruel ploy of fate.
The thought of her made me cry, again. But this tears, I could afford to shed. Always.
Forever & Always. She had promised me and I was still waiting for her to remember that promise and come back. Back to me.
Daisy was my home, when the home and people who was supposed to be mine become nothing but a prison.
Losing her was my biggest fear. And then I lost her, too.
I don't know who to blame. God? Fate?
Now this dorm was my home, it had been for almost two years. I had nowhere else to go.
I would sit here during Christmas when everyone else were singing carols and hugging and being a family.
I had nothing.
But one day you will have it all. And Daisy will wake up. She will come back.
I kept saying that to myself.
One day I would get away from the chains that were binding me. Get away from this prison. And I would fly, then. Wherever. Whenever.
I would fly and I would fly far, far away.
I would fly from my heartbreaks and pains. I would find myself. Again. I would find my happiness back.
Life is tricky, they say. And my life had always been. But I had learnt the tricks to catch the curve balls thrown by life. I just had to anticipate it all before it happened.
That was it. Just that.
But then... What came next, oh, God, I hadn't anticipated it in my wildest dreams. No one could have.
I was blown over when...
...When the boy who hated me came barging inside the only place I could call home.