I awoke this morning under the fortunate assumption that my life will always be small. In an unfamiliar town, where every window peak looks like the perfect place to cry, the scent of Spring hung heavy on the air, giving no warning of the hell I was about to journey through, but hinted it would bring me heaven.
Life on the road has felt like short years full of long days, most of which I feel I can't catch my breath and may lose my mind.
To everyone but me, Caleb's announcement that I am "trending" on social media would've been thrilling news, but to a girl who gets crippling anxiety from the simple sight of a camera and who wishes she could pull her head into her body like a turtle when anyone looks at her... the term 'trending' is not one that excites.
I know Micah meant no harm when he told the interviewer about me, sometimes he speaks without thinking, but once an idea is put out there, people run with it and it begins to take on a life of it's own. I am no longer me, I become the made up version of me.
Ana said something tonight and it made me miss you more than I already do. She said, 'we can't be everything to everyone and still be true to ourselves'. I wish you were here with me, so we could just run away together and pretend none of this exists... but then again, where does one run when the entire world is watching? I never would've thought a place so vast could feel like such a small jail cell.
I love you all the time,
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