Emma and I are momentarily alone in my room now. It is the perfect time to ask her what the hell is wrong with her today.
“Is everything alright? You are acting strange today”, I ask her.
She looks at me, her lips pressed together in a firm straight line, eyes piercing through me, “No I’m not alright, none of this is alright”, she states, finger pointing around the room. “This is too much for me”, she adds.
“Too much for you...Too much for you? I angrily repeat back.
My body tenses up and I want to grab hold and shake some sense into her. She is not the one lying useless in this fucking bed while someone must feed me and wipe my ass.
“What about me?“, I growl back at her, anxious to hear what she has to say, but she just puts her head down and sits there in silence.
“What were you and Mark talking about in the lounge this morning”, I try and change the subject a little.
She looks up at me surprised and rushes out her response.
“We were talking about finishing the movie and how much I have to do back home. He said I can stay here longer, but I have so much to do, I cannot put it all on hold. I’m...I’m ...going back tomorrow”, the last part hits me like a freight train as her words slowly roll off her tongue.
She is really going back with Mark tomorrow. It has only been a few days and she is going to leave me here alone. I don’t believe this.
“When will you be back?“, I quietly ask her.
Tears now rolling down her cheeks, “Next weekend”, she insists.
I am angry and hurt mostly, but if this is my last day with her for a while, I must do something to make sure she knows I love her and that she loves me.
“Go lock the door”, I instruct her.
“What?” she looks at me confused.
“Go lock the door, then come back here”, and she does what I say.
“Now come here on the bed with me”, I pat the bed with my right hand.
She hesitates for a moment before sitting on the bed next to me. I tell her to press the button on the bed to sit me up further and she follows my instructions. She looks at me, tears slowly running down her beautiful face. I reach up and cradle her cheek in the palm of my hand, using my thumb to catch her tears and say, “Kiss me”.
She leans towards me and I softly press my lips onto hers, capturing her gentle moan with my mouth, I force my tongue to meet hers. I feel my body ignite as her tongue caresses with mine. I take a deep breath and continue pressing my lips harder to hers.
She pulls her mouth away from mine and slowly trails her lips along the crease of my neck, sucking at the sensitive skin at the top of my collar bone. My right hand moves carefully under her shirt and rests on her hip. Quiet gasps release from her mouth.
“You want this, it’s what we needed”, I groan. My head tilting back into the pillow while she kisses me.
Fuck! I just want to grab both her hips and pull her on top of me, but I know I can’t.
She unconsciously starts to slide her hands down to my sweatpants, and just as she begins to slip her fingers under the waistband, I reach my hand down to stop her.
“Emma”, I whisper loudly.
Her hand freezes and she pull her mouth away from my neck and looks up at me bewildered. For a moment she stays silent, her eyes instantly turn from passion to pity and she climbs off my bed.
“Shit! Sorry”, I immediately blurt out.
I grab her hand knowing all too well what she is probably thinking right now, and gaze into her eyes.
“I just wanted to kiss you”, I say softly. My voice pleading, “I’m going to miss seeing you every day”.
She takes my hand in hers, our eyes still locked. I want her to still feel a craving for me, but the look in her eyes is confirming my worst fear.... regret!
“I love you Emma”, I choke. I can feel the water begin to fill my eyes.
“I love you too”, she says and then leans over and kisses my forehead.
“I’m sorry I have to leave, but I will call you every day”, she tells me.
“You better”, I press. “And we will see each other next weekend, things will be better” I promise her. She turns and walks out the door, leaving me here in this place, Alone.