Will you save me? (Gay!)

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Summary

THIS IS A BOYXBOY, GAY STORY! IF YOU DONT LIKE IT THEN DONT READ IT! Sixteen year old Alec has decided that he'll commit suicide at the age of 18. Jacob, a new student at Alec's high school, is the first one to manage to break into the young male's world. But will it be enough? Will Jacob be able to save Alec from his inner demons? Or die trying? 汾arning: Suicide, swearing, attempted rape (not descriptive), drugs (not descriptive), character death.

Genre:
Romance / Drama
Author:
Angelbutterfly
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
14
Rating:
4.8 4 reviews
Age Rating:
18+

1. Trying my best

I know you think I've got it all figured out

cause I walk around like my heads in the clouds

but I'm just a boy with his heart pouring

out of his head.

I wish that you could see the pain that I've seen

and all of the times I've been being not me.

-Trying my best Anson Seabra

~~~~

"ALEC!" a loud voice came from the kitchen, having no effect on the blonde nevertheless. "You are going to be late!"

"No, I'm not," Alec muttered back, although it was unlikely anyone heard it. He grabbed his schoolbag and went into the kitchen, snatching an apple while passing his mother.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" the woman asked worriedly, seeing Alec leaving already. "You will pass out on your way to school this way."

"No, I won't." He went through the kitchen to the corridor, holding the apple between his teeth while tying his shoelaces.

"See you," he murmured after taking a bite from the fruit. Before his mother could even say anything, he'd already closed the door behind him.

While walking through his family's huge front yard, Alec tried to clear his mind and just stop thinking for once. He threw the apple he'd only taken two bites out of to their dog who'd come to greet him, or rather say goodbye.

It wasn't his plan to starve himself to death nor was he overly worried about his weight, empty stomach just had its advantages.

The growling could easily take your mind off of some thoughts you'd willingly avoid and it always came with the slight chance of him really passing out, praising him with at least an hour of unconsciousness.

Alec got to his English class on time, just as he'd predicted, taking his usual seat besides the window. It was the only desk in the class with an empty seat, a very pleasing quality in his opinion. He hadn't had a deskmate since eight grade and he wasn't planning to have one for the rest of high school.

After taking out his things, he sat down, resting his head on the table to make up for the sleepless night, ignoring the rumble going on in the classroom. Alec didn't need to tell anyone not to disturb him, they knew it already. Always had.

Unfortunately, his ignorant solitude was interrupted by the annoying jangling of school bell and the teacher entering the classroom.

Slowly raising his head, Alec saw a teenage redheaded boy standing next to their teacher in front of the classroom. Deciding it wasn't worth his attention, the blonde shifted his gaze from the new student to his sketchbook, continuing the drawing he had started yesterday.

Of course, he knew without the teacher telling the whole class that the boy would be destined to sit beside him, there was only one free seat in the whole room for god's sake.

Before the newcomer could even sit down, Alec turned the other way, building a barrier between them with his long blonde hair. The bang hanging over his left eye had to be good for something.

The blonde had no idea what his deskmate was doing for the rest of the class, since his attention was completely focused on his drawing. To be precise, he had no idea what his partner was doing for the rest of the lessons until lunch break.

He was drawing a burnt down to ashes village with a little crying girl in the foreground. Desperation and sadness was flowing into the picture with every scratch he made with his pencil.

Monday was the only day in the week, when all of the classes were in the same room, sparing Alec more time and making it completely unnecessary for him to look up from his sketchbook for the whole day. Right after the bell rang, the blonde heard the chair next to him being moved, obviously by his deskmate who was just about to get up to join the human stream, leading to the cafeteria.

Alec felt the room fall silent, the only sound being his pencil on the paper. He thought he was completely alone and that's why the sudden voice made him jump.

"Could I see your other drawings?"

Alec looked up to see the redheaded newcomer standing in front of him. Trying to remember how to use his voice, the only thing the blonde could do was stare at him open-mouthed.

"What're you doing here?" Alec blurted out the first question to break through, not making any sense at all. "I mean, why didn't you go to the cafeteria? It's lunch break."

"I could ask you the same thing, although I asked something else," the redhead said, reminding him the unanswered request.

"Oh, I-," Alec felt like all of the words had just suddenly left him, making him stare at his deskmate like a complete idiot. The blonde just handed him the sketchbook before turning his head away, wanting to end this awkward situation as soon as possible. It wasn't as if he had got anything to lose by showing his drawings anyway.

"What was your name again?" Alec asked, trying to sound polite, while the other boy was slowly flipping through his drawings. It had been a long time since he'd had a normal conversation with someone his age. It made him feel he'd forgotten how it worked at all. Actually, it had been a long time since he'd had a normal conversation with anyone. "I-I didn't quite catch it before."

"Jacob," he answered without looking up. "If I'm not mistaking then you were Alec."

"Correct," the blonde replied, turning his gaze away once again. Although there was nothing so special to it, Jacob was the first one to see his drawings besides himself.

Suddenly, it felt like unlocking your diary for someone to freely read it. Before he was able to grab the sketchbook, following his made-up-at-the-spot plan, Jacob placed it on the desk.

Alec's eyes locked on it and, before he could look back up, the redhead had left the room without a word. The blonde artist put his drawings into his bag, zipping it closed in frustration. Taking an oath to never speak to his deskmate again, he rested his head on the table, trying to fall asleep.

As conversations were never the best helpers to clear your mind, Alec returned home even more tired than before leaving. He had just closed the door and started slipping his shoes off, when a manservant stood before him.

"I don't care what you'll put on the plate, Bill, I won't eat it anyway," the blonde snapped impatiently at the raven-haired butler, passing him without looking at him. "Just tell everyone to leave me alone and stay out of my room. I can handle cleaning my own room on my own."

Alec went upstairs, slamming his door closed and locking it as well. He had no intentions of making contact with another human being that day. He took out his sketchbook and tossed his bag into a corner of the room.

Sitting behind the desk, he tried to start drawing again, but couldn't. He couldn't force himself. If anything, he just ended up, staring at the picture with a blank look, letting the thoughts in his head overwhelm him again. To give himself at least something to do, he started flipping through the drawings, before stopping suddenly.

One of them was missing.
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