Soundtrack To My Youth (book 1)

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I was eating breakfast when Bridget walked into the dinning room and slumped down in the seat across from me, she had heavy bags under her eyes like hadn’t got much sleep last night. I handed her a piece of toast that I had smeared peanut butter on and she grunted out a thank you as she bit into it. I got up to make us more and returned to find her sipping on my coffee, screwing her face up with each intake.

“Trying something new?” I asked her, hiding my smirk behind my hand, my Bridget is addicted to caffeine but this Bridget can’t even handle more than a mouthful.

“I was hoping it might help me wake up, I couldn’t sleep last night, I just tossed and turned, finally fell asleep around 3am and then my alarm went off at 7” She complains, taking another sip.

“Why couldn’t you sleep?” I question her, she puts her toast down on her plate and I can see the tears appearing in her eyes. I get up from my seat and come sit in the one beside her, wrapping my arm around her shoulder.

“Every one is going to hate me Roni” She cries on my shoulder.

“I could never hate you Bridget, you’re my favourite sister” I reassure her, gaining a small smile from her.

“I’m your only sister” She points out and I laugh.

“Well then, you’re my favourite sibling and you can tell Carson that too” I tell her, her body stiffens at the mention of our half brother Carson, who is 5 years older than I am. It’s no secret that we both can’t stand him.

“Do you think he’s going to be at Mum’s house this weekend?” She asks me nervously. Carson would go out of his way to be difficult every time we would stay at our Mothers and what made it worse was that our mother would turn a blind eye to how he would treat us, telling Bridget and I to simply ‘Stay out of his way and then he will leave you alone’. Easier said than done in a tiny 3 bedroom house.

When I had complained to Dad about it he said that Carson was jealous of Bridget and I because we had a father and Carson’s wanted nothing to do with him. Dad had tried to be that father figure to Carson when he was married to Mum but the more he tried the worse Carson became and in the end it caused the rift between my parents.

“We will just ignore him if he is there and on Sunday we can go watch Sam play soccer which will get us out of the house” I tell her, the mention of Sam brightens her mood significantly.

“Did you kiss Sam?” She asks me, her eyes going wide with excitement.

“I did and it was unbelievably great.” I smile at the memory of Sam’s lips on mine, tingles spreading throughout my whole body at just the thought.

“Is he your boyfriend now?” Her question makes me laugh a little and she looks at me confused.

“Sam doesn’t do relationships, he doesn’t want a girlfriend. I’ve known Sam for a long time, he used to come out with Lucas and I, with a different girl each week, this is who he is, he loves the thrill of the chase. He’s a player and I’m sure once a girl sleeps with him then he loses interest.” I explain to my sister but she shakes her head.

“Sam doesn’t sleep around” She states firmly, “You don’t know him at all” She storms out of the dinning room dramatically, leaving me to clean up the plates from breakfast. Great, moody Bridget, just what I need.

~~~

Sam arrived just before 8am to pick us up, the conversation I had with Bridget weighing heavy on my mind as he pulled into the driveway and got out of the truck to greet me.

“Hey pretty girl” He said as he wrapped his arms my waist, drawing me in close to him, “I have coffee waiting for you in the car and Kate has been killing my ears with the Spice Girls”

“We should get going otherwise we’ll be late” I break out from his hold and make my way to the truck, noticing that Kate has now vacated the passenger seat for me, Sam climbs in beside me, his eyes moving from me to Bridget, trying to gauge the obvious tension that is between us, Kate on the other hand doesn’t notice a thing.

“You would not believe the morning I have had” Kate exclaims from the back seat, drawing all the attention, “The breeders told me this morning that they’re having another one. Can you believe it? I would have thought that they would be done having sex but no, they just keep on at it, it’s disgusting for people of their age” She cringes. Kate is the eldest of five children, well four up until now, all boys too and she hates it.

“I can’t wait for the day you become a breeder Kate” I laugh at her but she just screws up her face in disgust.

“I am never having children Veronica” She states firmly which makes me laugh even harder, thinking about how she’s now the mother of a gorgeous 2 year old girl named Emilia, who she just absolutely lives for.

“Veronica thinks she knows everything” Bridget scoffs, letting out a loud sigh. I silently sip my coffee, staring out the window, knowing it’s best not to engage with Bridget when she’s in a mood like this. I feel Sam’s hand take hold of my own and bring it to his lips, kissing it softly before holding it on his lap, my heart kicks up a notch at just his touch.

“Roni and I were thinking of seeing a movie on Friday night, do you two wanna come?” Sam asks Bridget and Kate.

“What movie?” Kate asks as she eyeballs our hands, a wide smile spread across her face.

“Varsity Blues, it’s got James Van Der Beek” I tell them, knowing that would be a selling point for Kate, Bridget would need another incentive though, “Bridge, you should invite Amber” I suggest to her.

“I’ll think about it” That’s all I get out of Bridget before she goes back to staring out the window, I look over at Sam and he just shrugs.

When we pull up in the parking lot Bridget is the first one out of the car, walking as fast as she can to escape us.

“Is this still about yesterday or...” Sam asks me as we walk with Kate into the school grounds, my arm grazing his occasionally, sending tingles down my side, thinking of the secret kiss we shared the night before.

“I don’t know really, she said she didn’t get a lot of sleep last night and she was crying this morning saying everyone is going to hate her and then she asked about us and then went off at me, saying I don’t know you at all”

“I’ll talk to her if you want?” Sam offers and I nod, I know if Bridget wont talk to me she may open up to Sam. As we approach the school gate I see Lucas standing by the gate, staring at the three of us, Sam steps ahead of Kate and I, creating a gap between us as we walk through the gate.

“Ugh vomit” Kate says as she passes by Lucas and keeps walking.

“I called your house last night, Bridget said you were out on a date, didn’t take you long to move on” Lucas says to me as I pass him, bringing me to a halt, I step off the path to face him, “So who is he then? I need to know so I can beat the shit out of him for touching what’s mine”

“The only person who touched what was yours last night was you Lucas when you fondled your own dick, as for me, I did have a date last night, gorgeous boy, great kisser too” Sam goes rigid next to Lucas, panic crossing his face, “His name is Harry, Harry Styles.” It was the first name that popped into my head.

“I’ll have you know that I had Kristen screaming my name over and over last night” He says, trying to regain the upper hand.

“Was is followed by get off me?” I laugh at his miserable attempt to try and make me jealous and I walk away. When I reached Kate and Bridget at our table in the quad they’re not alone, Petra is sitting with them and from the nervous look on Bridgets face I can tell that Petra is going in for the kill.

Every group of friends has someone like Petra, you convince yourself that she’s your friend but all she does is point out your flaws for her own enjoyment. I spent years being intimidated by Petra, how she could make me feel so small and vulnerable when she needed to feel like cutting someone down to build herself up. Unfortunately for Petra, once high school was over, those loyal minions who had followed her around for years had no need to kiss her ass anymore and they started spilling her secrets like water.

“Hey Roni” She greeted me warmly, wrapping her arms around me, “How you doing hun? I heard Lucas dumped you for Kristen.” The smug smile she wore was shameless.

“Actually I broke up with him” I correct her but she just laughs at me.

“Sure you did. I’m here for you, if you need to talk” this time it was my turn to laugh at the mere thought of me opening up to Petra and then having my problems spread like wildfire, I’d fallen for this trick before

“How’s your dad Petra?” I ask her, returning the smug smile and she looks at me confused.

“My Dad? He’s alright” She replies.

“You must be so pissed at him for taking all that money you had saved up to go to New York this year and losing it all at the track?” The look on her face is priceless.

“How did you?....That never happened Veronica, I don’t know where you heard that but it’s not true, you shouldn’t listen to bullshit gossip” She stutters, looking panicked as Kate and Bridget try to muffle their laughter.

“I’m here for you, if you need to talk” I tell her sweetly, placing my hand over hers, she pulls her hand from my grasp and storms off, most likely in search of Kimberly and Jacinta, to find out which one has betrayed her.

~~~

I had History first period and being that it wasn’t far from my homeroom I arrived early and had my pick of seats, choosing to sit in the back corner, hoping the class would fill up fast so I can go unnoticed by Lucas, unfortunately though he arrived not long after, making a beeline for the seat next to me as the rest of the seats get taken. Like an animal in a cage he has me trapped and he knows it.

“Where did you meet him?” He whispers to me as Mr Warden, our history teacher begins writing key points from World War II on the blackboard. I ignore Lucas, instead pulling out my workbook and start copying down the notes, not that I really need to, I know the subject off by heart. “What can he give you that I can’t?” He continues, I can feel his eyes boring into me but I refuse to look at him.

“Satisfaction” I answer him flatly, keeping my eyes locked to the page I’m writing on.

“He’ll never treat you as good as I did Veronica, He’ll never be me” Lucas spits out at me loudly

“Mr Stephenson is there a reason why you’re interrupting my class to harass Miss Kreslin?” Mr Warden’s booming voice draws the attention of the whole class to us.

“Why do you assume it’s me harassing Veronica?” Lucas asks smugly, “You know what these women are like, can’t take no for an answer”

“Veronica is an extremely smart girl, too smart to be chasing boys like you so why don’t you shut up and pay attention to the lesson I’ve prepared, you barely passed last year remember” Mr Warden says to Lucas, causing the rest of the class to break out into laughter. Lucas mutters profanities under his breath while he hurries to copy down what’s written on the blackboard.

I’m blessed with silence for the rest of the class but when the bell rings and the all the students and Mr Warden file out and on to their next classes, Lucas hangs back to keep me trapped.

“Do you regret it?” He asks me in a hushed tone, never wanting to allow others to see him broken.

“I regret taking a seat in the back corner, won’t be making that mistake twice” I push passed him and start to make my way out of the classroom.

“Roni please” He begs me, bringing me to a stop, in the whole time I was with Lucas I never once heard him beg, I turn to face him, I’ve never seen him look so lost, “You broke up with me and you won’t even talk to me and then I find out you went out with that Harry guy and that you kissed him too?”

“It sucks, doesn’t it? That feeling of being left in the dark as the person you love moves on without you, I remember it all too well” I almost feel bad for him, almost.

“Please give me another chance baby, I miss you so much, I just want you back” He pleads, moving in closer towards me. I can see the pain in his eyes. He places his hand on my cheek, I know I should pull away but my body won’t allow it.

“If we stayed together it would end up destroying me Lucas” My mind flashes with all the memories of being broken by him, over and over.

“I wouldn’t do it to you baby” His words are filled with so much promise that I know he will never keep. He moves his lips closer to mine, waiting for me to initiate the kiss but I can’t, I won’t, I’ve come too far to allow myself to be sucked back in.

“You already did” I tell him firmly, breaking free of his hold and leaving him behind.


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