Soundtrack To My Youth (book 1)

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I Want You

“Who’s Harry Styles?” Sam casually asks me during maths. It was sixth period and we were working on algebra equations. Our teacher, Mrs Summers, didn’t mind us talking as long as we were working.

“He’s like the Robbie Williams of 2020” I try my best to explain.

“Ah OK, so he was in a shitty boy band and is now filling the top 40 with his solo efforts, meanwhile Tool and Metallica get no air play on commercial radio” He laughs to himself.

“He’s also a really good friend of yours, according to New Weekly magazine, you were photographed partying at his London pad last year so you may not wanna mention your thoughts on boy bands when you meet him”

“So I’m pretty famous? Is that why you kissed me Veronica?” He gives me that gorgeous, cheeky smile that featured in the naked photoshoot he did with Cosmo, the glint in his eyes tells me he’s playing.

“I kissed you because you won it” I remind him

“And that second kiss? I didn’t win that” He questions me further as he breezes through the algebra problems in the workbook, meanwhile I’m stuck on question 20. Stupid algebra, when in the real world am I ever going to use it?

“You kissed me the second time” I state, he leans over and corrects the mistake I made in the problem and suddenly I am able to see the solution, “Thank you”

“You’re welcome princess” He says as he tucks my hair behind my ear, making me blush, “I like kissing you Roni” He whispers, my eyes dart around the room, hoping no one else can see our moment but thankfully all the other students have their heads down in their own workbooks, even Mrs Summers has busied herself in work.

“I like kissing you too” I confess to him, biting my lower lip, a nervous habit. My eyes meet his and see that I’m not the only one who is nervous.

“Stay over at my house on Friday night after the movie” He suggests, “I want to kiss you again”

“Just kiss?” I giggle, I know exactly where he wants this to lead, this is the 90′s version of ‘Netflix and Chill’. He gives me a small smile.

“Just to kiss, I’ll be the perfect gentleman, I promise”

“I can’t, I’ll have Bridget with me and we have to leave early on Saturday to get to our Mother’s house” I tell him, expecting to see disappointment on his face but instead he smiles widely.

“I have plenty of rooms Roni, you know this, you and Bridget can both stay over and just leave early from there.” He pushes and I cave in. The thought of being alone with Sam again is thrilling.

“Alright, but I’m not sleeping with you” I tell him firmly.

The bell rings, signalling the end of the school day, we hurry to pack up and leave.

“Homework for tonight is the complete the problems you were working on today” Mrs Summer’s announces to the class and I groan.

“Do you wanna do them together?” Sam asks me as we walk towards his truck, Kate and Bridget are already waiting beside the truck, deep in conversation.

“Only if you have time, I can remember basic formulas and principles but it gets tricky when they throw in multiple brackets.” I complain

“You’re just rusty, I’ll help you” He offers, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and giving me a squeeze but no sooner had I felt his touch it’s gone again.


“Dad we’re home” I announce as we come through the front door, dad steps out from the kitchen to greet us.

“Hey girls, I was thinking about ordering pizza for dinner, sound good?” He asks Bridget and I

“Sounds awesome Dad, Sam and I are going to do our maths homework first though” I tell him and he looks at Sam and smiles.

“How’s that new truck of yours Sam?” Dad asks as I set up my workbook at the dinning table.

“Runs like a dream Mr Kreslin, you can take it for a drive if you want?” Sam holds out his keys to dad, who takes them like he’s just been offered the world.

“I’ll just go around the block, put some petrol in it for you” My dad says, his whole face lighting up, “Do you want to stay for dinner?”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude” Sam says but Dad just shakes his head.

“You’re not intruding, you’d be saving me from listening to these two go on and on about that vampire show that they stay up late to watch every Monday night and think that I don’t know about” Dad laughs, Bridget and I were obsessed with Buffy, still are but tried to hide from Dad that we would stay up until 1130pm on a school night watching it.

“Thank you Mr Kreslin, I appreciate it, my dad is doing surgery tonight so I would have been eating alone” Sam says, setting up his own workbook at the table

“Call me Ed please and it’s no problem, you’re welcome here any time” Dad says and Sam nods, Bridget and I exchange looks, dad had never invited Lucas to stay for dinner.


After dinner Dad went to bed and Bridget forced Sam to stay and watch the episode of Dawson’s Creek that she had recorded the night before. The three of us huddled together on the lounge, a bowl of popcorn sat on my lap for us all to share. Bridget tried her best to give the backstory to Sam but he spent the whole episode just making fun of the show, which had us in hysterics.

“So this lad seriously sleeps in the bed next to this Joey chick every night and never tries to shag her?” He laughs and Bridget rushes to defence of her two favourite characters.

“It’s not like that, they’ve been best friend since they were kids, he only just found out at the end of last season that she’s into him” Bridget states.

“As if he wouldn’t be all over that sooner” Sam quips

“He had a girlfriend and he didn’t know Joey was into him” Bridget fires back, laughing

“Then he’s an idiot” Sam jokes looking at me, sliding his hand into mine.

“That’s why I prefer Pacey, he knows what he wants and goes for it” I tell them, squeezing Sam’s hand.

“I like Amber” Bridget said at the end of the show, turning to me with tears in her eyes

“It’s alright Bridge, it’s nothing to be ashamed of” I put my arms around her, Sam came and knelt beside her on the floor, placing his hands on top of hers.

“Amber and I weren’t practicing, she kissed me at Sam’s party last week and I got scared and ran away, even though I really like her” Bridget confesses between sobs, “Please don’t hate me Roni”

“Bridget I love you, thank you for trusting me enough to tell me, I know how hard this must be for you” I smile at her warmly, “How does Amber feel about all of this? Does she feel the same?”

“She’s confusing me, she kisses me and then says we shouldn’t be doing kissing and then today she was flirting with Kade Micheals right in front of me in Commerce class and it made me feel so worthless and used” She sobs, Sam grabs the tissues from the coffee table and hands her one, keeping the box close by.

“I hate that anyone has made you feel that way Bridget, you deserve to be happy” My heart is breaking for my sister.

“I think she just got spooked yesterday when you caught us, she’s scared about her parents finding out and shipping her off to live with her Grandmother in Tamworth” The panic rising in her voice at just the thought.

“I wouldn’t tell a soul Bridget, you have my word” I promise her and she rewards me with a small smile, “If you want I can talk to Amber, away from school”

“Yes please” She whispers softly, hugging me tightly, “I love you Roni”

I walked Sam to his truck after Bridget went to bed, wrapping my arms around his neck as he leaned against the car door.

“Thank you” I say to him, kissing his cheek but I don’t draw back, I want more.

“For what?” He asks, lightly brushing his lips against mine.

“For talking to Bridget, for being someone she can trust” I whisper

“She’s scared Roni, this is all new to her and she’s looking for reassurance and acceptance and she found that in you tonight, it’s a big step for her” His warm hand cups the side of my face, wiping a tear that has escaped my eye, “I’m here for you Roni, for both of you, always.” His lips crash down onto mine, freeing all the tension I had built up. My mouth moves melodically with his as my knees weaken and I’m grateful for his strong arm that is wrapped securely around me, holding me up. He deepens the kiss, allowing our tongues to softly collide.

“I could kiss you all night” He murmurs, his thumb brushing gently over my still tingling lower lip, “But I should let you get to bed, I’ll see you tomorrow morning pretty girl” I step back to allow him room to open the car door.

“By the way, Joey ends up with Pacey” I tell him, he turns to face me, the street light casting just enough of a glow for me to catch the smile on his face.


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