Soundtrack To My Youth (book 1)

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Nice Guys Finish Last

Bridget and I were the first to arrive at the cinema on Friday night, the smell of popcorn was making me nostalgic for when I was last able to go see a movie. Before lockdown Kate, Bridget and I would go at least once a month, sometimes I even wondered if I was more excited about the popcorn than the actual movie we were seeing, tonight was one of those nights, I was more excited for the atmosphere than the movie.

Kate arrived not long after us, walking in hand in hand with kissing boy....I’ve really got to learn his name considering he seems to now be hanging around Kate more. Amber arrived next, looking somewhat awkward next to Bridget but I was so happy that she had accepted the invite, I still hadn’t had a chance to talk to her yet, I guess I was hoping to show her that this was a safe space for her, make her feel comfortable and not push, she seemed to relax a bit when Kate and I included her in our conversation about the swimming carnival next Friday.

My heart sank when I saw Sam walk through the doors with Lucas and Petra, giving me an apologetic look as he made his way over to our group but I gave him a nod to let him know it’s all good, I get it, Lucas is his best friend and if Sam hadn’t invited him and word got back to Lucas it would have looked suspicious. We walked up to the concession stand as a group and ordered our tickets and food for the movie, Bridget and I deciding to share a large popcorn between us and then made our way into our cinema.

The cinema that we were at had only opened the year before so everything was still in that brand new state, although the seats were not the plush recliners I am accustomed to now, they were still very comfortable. I took my seat in the middle of the row, with Bridget on one side and Sam on the other, Lucas was next to Sam, his eyes watching my every move.

“Where’s Harry tonight Veronica?” Lucas asked me, smug smile crossing his stupid face, drawing all the attention on to me from our group. I had told Bridget and Kate how I had made up a boy named Harry Styles who had taken me on a date on Tuesday night, just to keep Lucas from finding out the truth.

“He had band practice tonight” I lie, hoping he buys it but of course Petra has to join in.

“What’s his band called?” She asks me as her fingers dance playfully along Lucas’ thigh, she’s trying to draw out my jealous side so she can prove a point either to herself or Lucas, unfortunately for them I’m not playing into their game tonight.

“His band is call One Direction, they’re pretty popular” I continue silently praying that the trailers will start playing to save me.

“I’ve never heard of them, can’t be that popular” Petra laughs and I slink back into my chair.

“Maybe if you spent less time trying to stir shit up with your friends then we may have invited you along to one of their gigs” Kate fires back at Petra. To Petra the thought of being not invited to a social event would kill her and Kate knows it, “And you think that hanging around Puke-as will make us include you in anything?”

“Suck my dick Kate” Lucas yells out across the row.

“Ah, no thank you, I’m very particular about what I put in my mouth and your small cheese dick is not on the menu” Kate laughs and Bridget and Amber erupt in giggles.

“Veronica never complained” Lucas points out angrily, glaring at me for some sort of back up but I refuse to help him out, instead I excuse myself from the group and make my way out of the cinema, towards the bathroom. All I had wanted was a fun night out but Lucas always found a way of ruining the best of plans.

I stayed in the bathroom until I was sure the previews would have started, hoping that my escape would have put an end to the bickering. As I stepped out of the washrooms I felt an arm wrap around me, pulling me back against a wall, hot breath on my neck as I breathed in his familiar scent and I relaxed into his arms.

“I’m sorry princess, this isn’t exactly how I wanted tonight to go, I can’t even hold your hand with him sitting right next to me, staring at you” Sam says, kissing my neck softly, my skin tingling at the touch of his lips, I want so much more but I can’t have it, not with Lucas here.

“Lets just get through the movie and then we can go back to your house and...” I trail off as his lips meet mine.

“You go back in, I’ll stay out here for another 5 minutes, just so Lucas doesn’t catch on” Sam suggests, I nod and begin to walk away from him only to have him pull me back again and he places a kiss on my forehead.

I find my way back up to my seat, ignoring the persistent stare from Lucas. I grab a handful of popcorn from the bucket sitting on Bridget’s lap and let the buttery goodness overtake my tastebuds, oh how I’ve missed you my comforting friend.

Sam snuck back in just as the last trailer was playing and the lights had completely gone out. With his eyes fixed firmly on the screen he slides his hand through the middle of the arm rest, out of sight and takes hold of mine, giving it a small squeeze. He knows at any moment he could be caught but he’s willing to risk it, it’s somewhat thrilling, knowing that this is our secret.


I only saw Varsity Blues once, I couldn’t remember much of the plot, only that it was a football movie and it starred James Van Der Beek so I must admit I was a little thrown when there was scene involving a girl in a whipped cream bikini which was met with cheers and howls from every male in the cinema, even Bridget was subconsciously licking her lips. I took the moment to sneak a look at Sam, he raised his eyebrows at me playfully and grinned, it made me giggle until I looked past Sam and saw Lucas staring at me, he licked his top lip suggestively and winked. I screwed up my face at him, disgusted, how did I ever find that boy attractive?

When the movie had ended we all made our way back out to the entrance of the cinema to say our goodbyes, Bridget and I hugged Kate before she left with kissing boy. Sam threw his arms around Bridget, holding her tightly, he whispered something in her ear and she giggled, he then put one arm around my shoulder and and briefly embraced me. Lucas hugged Bridget and then then turned to me, raising his arms but I blocked him with one arm, grabbing Bridget with the other and walking away.

“Sam said to tell you to wait 5 minutes, he’s dropping off Lucas and Petra first” Bridget said as we climb into my car.

“Understandable, he has to go past his house to get to theirs so he wouldn’t want to raise suspicion” I explain, turning on my car to get the air conditioner circulating, it’s a hot, sticky night.

“Secret romances are exciting” Bridget quips, smiling to herself.

“You’re not wrong” I add before realising what she’s said, “Does that mean you and Amber are...” I ask her

“Yep, we held hands the whole movie and yesterday we kissed, I know its not much but still I’ll take what I can get” She grins

“That’s awesome Bridge, I’m happy for you” I reach over and hug her.

“How do you think Mum or Dad would react if they found out?” She asks tentatively, it’s clearly been playing on her mind and I don’t blame her, Bridget strived for the approval of our parents.

“I know that Dad will be cool with it, he just wants you to be happy” I reassure her and she smiles, “Mum on the other hand will have some pretty harsh words to say I imagine and I want you to know that her opinion is not about you Bridget, you’ve done nothing wrong so when she says nasty things to you I need you to block it out, you’re an amazing person and she is toxic”

“She’s going to be disappointed in me” She frets, tears welling in her eyes, I take her hand in mine and look her in the eyes.

“She can feel whatever she wants but just know that the fault is in her, not you, I want you to always believe that, even when things get hard and I want you to know that I love and support you, no matter what”

“You’re a good sister Roni” She tells me as the tears roll down her cheeks

“Just good? Not great?” I joke

“Well a great sister would buy me a sundae from McDonalds” She hints, smiling sweetly at me.

“Chocolate or caramel?” I cave in, laughing

“Chocolate please” She answers and I drive to the closest McDonalds and order 3 chocolate sundaes before driving to Sam’s house just as he’s pulling into his drive way, he grabbed our bags from the back of my car and we headed inside his empty house, I assumed his dad was working.

He places our bags down at the base of the staircase and Bridget hands us both a sundae, we walk into the living room, Bridget taking a seat in an armchair and I sit on the lounge, Sam puts on the Television.

“Movie or just Telly?” He asks us and we both say movie, he pulls a video from the shelf and inserts it into the VHS machine, cursing under his breath that he forgot to rewind it on last watch. Coming down to sit beside me he pulls my legs up across his lap.

“I thought you might enjoy a cute, romantic movie Bridget” He says, smirking as he hits the play button on the remote.

“It’s The Terminator isn’t it?” She groans, making me laugh. Sam is obsessed with this movie and it’s sequel, I think it would crush him to know that there’s more movies after Judgement Day but they’re mostly all fails, with the exception of Genesis that is.

“It’s an awesome, romantic movie about a man who travels through time to save a chick from a robot killing machine and then impregnates her with his future best friend, what more could you want from a movie? It’s got it all, action, shagging, love and Arnie” Sam laughs while Bridget shakes her head.

“Plus James Cameron wrote and directed it” I add, knowing that Bridget is a huge Titanic fan.

“Really? Alright I’ll give it a chance” She promises. Sam kisses my cheek as a thank you and I settle back against the lounge and eat my sundae.

“Maybe next week we can watch all three Star Wars movies” Sam suggests and Bridget rolls her eyes at him.

“Don’t push your luck” Bridget laughs, throwing a cushion at Sam. It wasn’t until the release of Episode 7 that Bridget actually got into Star Wars.


We didn’t make it through the full movie, Bridget fell asleep close to the end, although she tried to fight it. Sam carried her up to one of the spare rooms, placing her gently into bed and laying a light blanket over her, she snored softly as he closed the door before turning to me.

“I made up the other guest room for you” He tells me, walking in the direction of the room but I take hold of his arm and pull him close towards me.

“I assumed that when you said stay over you meant sleep in the same bed? Don’t tell me I packed my best pyjamas for nothing” I whisper in his ear, trailing my finger down his torso. He’s nervous, I can hear it in each shaky breath he exhales but still he takes my hand and leads me into his bedroom.

Sam’s bedroom is a fair size with its own ensuite. His walls are covered in posters of metal and rock bands as well as action movies but theres one framed picture of David Beckham above a cabinet full of trophies, on top of that cabinet there’s a small, framed photo of Sam, Lucas and Myself, taken the year before at the school camping trip, Lucas has his arm wrapped around my neck, my arms wrapped around his waist, looking up at him and Sam smiling as he looks at me, it’s a photo I have never seen before.

His king size bed is covered in black bed linen. I’d been in this room many times before, always with Lucas when we stayed at Sam’s but I’d never really paid much attention to the room itself.

“So this is where the magic happens?” I laugh as I sit myself down on his bed, it’s so comfortable. He sits himself beside me, cradling my face in his hands, that adorable, cheeky smile spreads across his face.

“Magic? You mean where I come to sleep every night?” He says playfully. I kick off my shoes and slide back onto the bed, resting my head on one of his pillows, he follows my lead, taking his place on the pillow beside me and draws me in close to him.

“Who do think you’re fooling Samual Lions? You forget that I know you.” I run my hand through his thick, dark hair, he strokes my cheek softly with his thumb, his arm under his head, propping it up so he can look deep into my eyes.

“You think you know me Veronica? You think that because I took a girl out that means I slept with her? You think I’m a player but I’m not, sure I flirt but I don’t sleep around” He tells me solemnly.

“But the gossip around school...”

“Is just that, gossip, made up by girls like Petra and her group of air headed minions. The truth is that I’ve only ever slept with two girls” He confesses, running his thumb over my bottom lip before coming down to kiss it softly.

“Just two?” I’m not doubting him, I think I’m more shocked if anything, the image I’ve had of Sam is completely shattered

“Yep, just two. I lost my virginity when I was 14 to my best friend, Shayla, she was 16, back in my hometown of Leigh in England, I fancied her for years but I wasn’t her type so after it happened I knew it was a pity shag and I couldn’t face her” His face full of torment and anguish.

“Why do you think it was out of pity? Maybe she did feel that same way and just never told you?” I ask him, unable to understand how she wouldn’t be attracted to him, with his beautiful brown eyes and thick, dark hair and that smile that could melt your heart.

He takes a deep breath in and closes his eyes, he’s holding something in, something he’s afraid to tell me.

“It’s alright Sam, you don’t have to say a word” I whisper to him but he just shakes his head.

“My Mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 13, it was pretty advanced by the time it was caught. She was in hospital a lot and Dad would often stay in there with her so they made arrangements for me to stay with Shayla’s family because they lived next door to us at the time. My Mum and Shayla’s Mum were close so I became really attached to Shayla, she was like my rock and as my Mum got sicker I found myself needing Shayla more and more.

My Mum died within a year of being diagnosed and it tore my Dad’s heart apart, they’d been married 17 years, met while he was just an intern at the hospital she was nursing at. It broke me, my Mum was the sweetest, kindest person, she didn’t deserve to get sick and we didn’t deserve to lose her” His body is tense against mine and he’s unable to meet my gaze. My heart breaks for him, to have to lose someone so young.

“I’m so sorry Sam, I had no idea” I wrap my arms around his waist, listening to his sharp intake of breaths.

“Veronica don’t, do not pity me, I don’t talk about my Mother because I don’t like people looking at me with pity, not since Shayla” He warns me firmly, finally looking down at me, his dark brown eyes filled with so much sorrow.

“What makes you think Shayla had sex with you out of pity?” I ask him and he laughs a little to himself.

“I went over to her house because I was having a bad day, it was around six months after my Mum had passed and I wasn’t handling things too well. We were up in her room, her parents were out and she kissed me and then it went further. She told me afterwards exactly what it was, she didn’t use the word pity as such, she said she just wanted to cheer me up, make me smile again. I left her house, I was feeling awkward and ashamed and I avoided her after that, well really I think we avoided each other and then a few months later Dad decided He and I needed a fresh start, he wanted to come back home, to be around his family so we moved to Australia and I never saw Shayla again. She was my best friend and sex ruined it and that’s why I don’t sleep around” He explains, I lean up and kiss his lips softly but he’s hesitant to kiss me back.

“I understand the whole not wanting pity thing, my Dad died in 2004, everything changed after that. I kept thinking I just wanted to get back to feeling like myself again, like I was before he died but you’re never the same and you carry it with you forever. The first year is the worst though” I tell him, he holds me against his chest and strokes my hair.

“Can you prevent it from happening? You have all this power to change the future, you could save him” Sam says

“He has asbestos poisoning, he’s had it for decades but it’s only just started showing symptoms. He’s been a builder since he was a teenager, back in the 1970′s, before all the regulations for asbestos came in, before they knew how bad it really was, he was breathing it in everyday and didn’t know. There’s no treatment, the outcome will always be the same and theres nothing I can do to stop it” My eyes fill with tears at the memories of watching my Dad become sicker and sicker, knowing I can’t do anything to save him.

“I’m sorry Veronica, I like your Dad, he’s a good man, it’s not fair for you or Bridget to lose him” He whispers softly as he holds me tight.

“No pity” I remind him, looking up at him and he smiles warmly.

“No pity” He repeats back to me before coming down to kiss my lips, soft at first, building up the intensity as his tongue slips inside my mouth. I grab hold of his neck, pulling him in deeper and he slides himself on top of me, holding his weight off of me with one arm propped up on the bed. I wrap my legs around his waist , drawing his body closer to mine and he pushes himself up against me, I can feel his desire growing as he kisses my neck, making me moan. His hand moves up under my t-shirt, making his way to my bra covered breasts. He runs his fingers teasingly along the sheer fabric before sliding his hand inside and cupping one of my breasts, his thumb rolling across my nipple and I feel it harden with his touch.

“I want you” I whisper to him. The wetness pooling between my legs each time he grinds up against me.

“You said no sex Veronica” He reminds me as he lifts my shirt over my head and discards it on his floor, taking in the sight before him, he smiles that gorgeous, cheeky smile. He sits back on his knees, wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me up into his lap.

“Please Sam, I need you” I beg him. I know he wants this too, his erection is pressing against my inner thigh.

“Tell me what you need Veronica” He reaches around my back and unclasps my bra with ease, letting my breasts spill out as he slides my bra down my arms, pushing it onto the floor where it lands beside my shirt, he looks at me, his eyes asking permission and I nod, arching back as he takes one of my breasts into his mouth, nibbling at my nipple while he cups the other one, pinching it’s nipple, sending waves of desire through my body. I grind my pelvis against him, the wet patch on my jeans only getting bigger with each moan. He hasn’t even touched me there yet and I’m so turned on by him. Holding onto his hair firmly as I feel myself clench

“Fuck” the word escapes my mouth before I can process it, he looks up at me and smiles.

“Do you like my mouth on you Princess?” He asks me and I nod, unable to form words, “If you like it on your tits imagine how much you’re going to love it when I bring it between your legs” He pushes me back onto the bed, kissing, licking and sucking his way down to the top of my jeans, he stops and looks up at me as he undoes the top button and slides the zip down, he places a hand inside my jeans, sitting two fingers on the outside of my panties and proceeds to push them in slowly, smiling up at me with every moan that escapes my mouth.

“Please Sam” I beg once again and he laughs a little.

“Patients princess, I’ve wanted this for so long and I’m going to take my time and enjoy it” He tells me, shimmying my jeans down my legs. I lay there in front of him in just my panties, suddenly feeling all my flaws exposed, I try to cover myself with my arms as best I can but he pins them to my side. “Your body is luscious Veronica, don’t hide it” and with those words he slides my panties down my thighs and throws them on the floor and I am naked before him while he is still fully clothed.

He kisses my inner thigh, starting from the knee and working his way up towards my core, switching sides to repeat his process on my other thigh and then, without warning he grabs hold of my bottom and pulls me in towards him as his tongue slips inside my wet loins, flicking my clit as I feel him slide two fingers deep into me, I cry out with pleasure as he pumps me.

“Oh fuck, Sam” I feel myself tighten around his fingers as his tongue lashes my clit, my hips rising with every jolt of pleasure he gives me. He increases his pace, hooking his fingers inside me to hit my g spot. My body is like the water, crashing strongly against the shore before pulling back and slamming over and over, building momentum until I’m brought to the edge, “Im gonna...I’m....oh my God” I scream, feeling myself clench tightly as an orgasm explodes throughout my body.

Sam looks up at me and smiles, satisfied with his job. I pull him closer towards me, wrapping my arms around him as I begin kissing him deeply, his erection now straining against his pants. I lift his shirt over his head and run my hands along his defined torso, feeling every chiselled groove beneath my fingertips until I come down to his shorts, undoing the top button, then the rest and sliding them down. He’s wearing bright red briefs which make the bulge look more enhanced.

I slip my hand inside he’s briefs and take him in my hand, stroking along his long, hard shaft, he moans as my hand reaches the tip. I use my free hand to remove his briefs, he reaches over me, opening the draw on the bedside table and pulls out a condom.

“I bought them yesterday, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to feel pressured” He tells me nervously, opening the wrapper and taking it out, “I know you said no sex but I wanted to be prepared”

I take the condom from his hand and roll it on him, letting him know that I’m all good. I hadn’t planned for us to go this far but I’m happy that we are, after tonight I feel so comfortable with Sam.

He sits back against the head of the bed and I straddle his lap, guiding him inside of me and feeling him stretch me out. He feels so good in me, even better as I begin to ride him. Slowly at first, finding our rhythm.

“You’re so tight” He quips, thrusting deeper into me, “It feels so good”

He picks up his pace and I moan with pleasure as his fingers come down as massage my swollen clit. I place my hand on the headboard in front of me to steady myself and kiss him deeply, tasting myself on his tongue that dances with my own.

The sound of the bed head hitting the wall with every thrust fills the room as my second orgasm builds inside me and my panting becoming louder.

“Come for me Princess, I want you to come first, I want to feel it” He says to me and I let myself go, feeling the explosion take over as I tighten and release around him, riding out my orgasm as I feel his take hold, thrusting fast into me as he cries out my name.

“That was amazing” I say as he brushes the hair out of my eyes, “You were like...whoa”

“Right back at you pretty girl, I really wasn’t expecting it to happen but I’m glad it did” He kisses my forehead.

“So am I, that was just unbelievable” He pulls himself out of me and I feel that instant withdrawal. He removes the condom, ties it off and places it in the bin beside his bed

“Shower?” He asks me, holding out his hand, I take it and walk with him to his ensuite, he turns the shower on and I step under the hot, cascading water, letting it wash over my body. Sam steps in behind me, body wash and loofa in his hand that he uses to clean me, it’s sensual and sweet at the same time.

After our shower I got dressed in my pyjamas while Sam put his brief back on, we climbed into bed together and he wrapped his arms around me, my head resting on his chest, I fell asleep to the sound of his heart beating.

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