Soundtrack To My Youth (book 1)

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Always

“So He just admits that He slept with Kristen?” Kate asks me as we were getting ready at my house for the dance on Friday night. Alex was due to pick us up in 20 minutes and we were nowhere near ready. My bombshell about Kristen and Sam sleeping together had derailed us significantly.

“Yep” I tell her. I had seen Sam since Wednesday afternoon and he hadn’t brought it up again so I think of it now as this thing that is hanging over our heads, keeping us apart and we’re both unwilling to deal with it. This is adulting at it’s best.

“Wow, I really thought Sam had a lot more respect for himself than to go for Lucas’ sloppy seconds. I guess though, when you hit rock bottom” Kate tries to reason as she uses my curing iron to create springs in her hair.

“Umm wouldn’t I be classed as Lucas’ sloppy seconds?” I ask her and she gives me a look.

“As if, you traded up” She reassures me.

“Well even so I don’t think he hit rock bottom as such” I say as I try to gain control over my own out of control, wavy hair. Why is it that my best hair days always happen on the days that I’m sitting around my house but as soon as I have plans it’s like a giant birds nest settles in the back.

“You did kinda hurt him really bad” Kate tells me as she places her final curl and then runs her fingers through them to give off a more natural look.

“So you keep reminding me” I exclaim, deciding to just give up on my hair and pull it back into bun, what do I care if it looks unstylish? The one person I’d want to be impress isn’t even coming to this thing anyway so why bother.

“Girls, your gentleman callers are here” My Dad bellowed down the hall to us. Kate and I look at each other, surprised.

“He said callers right?” I ask Kate.

“That’s what I heard” She confirms. I swipe another layer of baby pink lipgloss across my already coated lips and we head out into the living room, with me silently praying that Lucas hasn’t convinced Alex to let him tag along but my prays are answered when I step into the room and my eyes fall on Sam, dressed in black jeans and a plain, white tee, his hair held in place with product and he smelt amazing, making my heart feel like it was about to beat right out of my chest.

“I didn’t know you were coming?” I question him, now regretting that I didn’t do something else with my hair.

“Last minute decision” He says, looking over to Alex who is smiling at us while holding onto Kate. “I brought my own car too, if you want to ride with me, I know you had plans to go with Kate though” I look at Kate for her approval to ditch our original plans and she nods.

I hug Dad and Bridget goodbye and walk out to where the truck is parked out on the street, just behind Alex’s Honda Civic. He opens the door for me and I climb in, making sure not to crease up my new blue halter dress.

“You look phenomenal Veronica” Sam compliments me and I feel a blush glow on my cheeks.

“Thank you. If I had known that you were coming though I would have done something better with my hair” I stress.

“Why? It looks great like that” He pulls away from the curb and starts driving towards to Claremont Community Hall where the dance is being held. The butterflies in my stomach have taken flight. “I wanted to talk to you about something and I didn’t want to do it at school, I wanted to wait until I knew it was just you and me”

“Is it about Kristen because I’ve been wanting to talk to you about that too” I tell him, reaching across and taking his hand in mine.

“You have?” He asks, surprised.

“Yeah, I just wanted to tell you that I get it, You were hurt when I rejected you and I guess you needed someone”

“Wait, when exactly do you think I slept with her?” He questions me, confused. He pulls the truck into an empty carpark.

“Last Sunday or Monday, Petra told me about how Lucas saw a condom in the bin near your bed and then after everything that happened with Carson, when I woke up in your room I will admit I did go snooping through the box I knew you had and it confirmed it for me when I could only count 9 instead of 10” I cringe at my admission but it does feel good to get it all out in the open. He pulls his wallet out of his pocket, opens it up and holds up a condom, still in its wrapper.

“That’s because I decided to carry one with me, just in case” He laughs, “The one in the bin was ours, as gross as that is, I’d just been too preoccupied to clean my room after...”

“After I shut you down” I finish for him.“I’m so sorry Sam, I made a mistake” I apologise

“Alex and I had a chat today, about You and Kristen...” He starts but I cut him off

“Sam it’s all good” I assure him

“It’s not Veronica, the last thing I want is for you to be thinking that I would be that disrespectful to you, after what Kristen did to you. I didn’t sleep with her last week, I haven’t slept with Kristen in well over a year. Kristen and I dated when I first came to the school, I missed out on being with you because Lucas got in there first but he pushed me towards Kristen” He explains, holding onto my hand tightly.

“How did I not know any of this?” I ask, shocked by his admission.

“I wanted to tell people and she wanted to keep it secret, I later found out it was because she was also sleeping with Andy Berkin, you know that guy who was school captain last year. She uses people as if they’re just stepping stones to get ahead” his voice full of shame and anguish, now I know why he didn’t want us to hide our relationship anymore, he’d been burnt by Kristen as well as Shayla. My heart sank even further thinking about how I contributed to it too.

“Did you love her?” I don’t know if I’m ready for the answer but I had to ask.

“I’ve only ever loved one girl and it wasn’t either Kristen or Shayla and I’ve only ever said those words to one girl too and she ran away from me” He says, his head hung low.

“I’m so sorry Sam” The tears welling in my eyes, he looks up at me, reaches his hand across and cradles my face.

“I understand Veronica, he hurt you and you can’t let me in because you’re afraid. It just kills me though when I hear him tell you that he loves you and you don’t run from it but I can’t say those words to you, even though they’re burning inside me” He confesses, holding my gaze.

“When he says it to me I don’t run because it doesn’t affect me, there’s no truth in his words but when you said it, I did get scared and not because it came from you but because I felt the same way. I haven’t let anyone in for such a long time because I was afraid of getting hurt but I don’t want to hold back the love I have for you out of fear.” I explain, watching his eyes go wide as my words wash over him.

“Veronica what are saying” He asks me, a smile spreading across his face.

“I’m saying that I want you to be my boyfriend because I love you and I know I don’t deserve you and that I have a ton of baggage with the toxic mother and the abusive brother, not to mention the fact that my ex boyfriend is your best friend but if you will have me then I’d very much like to be your girlfriend because I love you so much” My heart feels like it’s going to break out of my chest, it’s beating so fast.

“Please don’t run” He begs me

“I won’t baby” I promise him.

“I love you Veronica, I don’t give a fuck about your baggage or even Lucas at this point, if he had treated you like the Queen you are then I would never have made a move but I’m not going to lie, I’m kinda glad he fucked things up because you’re finally mine and I love you” He pushes his chair back and I climb across the console, straddling his lap, his lips on mine in a frenzy of passion.

“I’m such an idiot” I admit after breaking from our kiss, “I’ve been putting off telling you how I feel since the day after Valentine’s Day because I thought you’d reject me after what I did and then Bridget said I had to do some grand gesture to win you back”

“She told me the exact same thing when I told her I was into you.” He laughs before kissing my neck softly, hitting that sweet spot that turns me on.

“I don’t think I want to go to the dance tonight” I tell him, running my fingers through his thick, dark hair.

“What do you want to do instead then?” He asks, the gleam in his eye tells me he already knows my answer, I lean over and grab the condom that he had placed in the cup holder and hold it up.

“I believe that there was a deal made that if the Green Machines beat the Red Devils at the swimming carnival that I would be sweetly rewarded” I say as I unbutton his jeans and slip my hand inside, palming him through his blue briefs, feeling him get harder each time I run my fingers along his shaft. He moans into my hair, letting me know he wants more. I slide his jeans down and they pool around his ankles

My dress is bunched up around my hips, exposing my hot pink panties, he pushes them to the slide and runs his fingers over my wet folds before slipping two inside and massaging my sensitive nub in a sweet, circler motion.

“You’re so fucking ready for it” He tells me, removing his fingers and bringing them to his mouth to taste my wetness. His shaft now rock hard in my grip. I stop stroking him only so he can slide my panties down my legs. Grabbing the condom, he tears it open with his teeth, throwing the wrapper into the cup holder and rolls the condom down his long, hard cock. I sit up on my knees, hovering above him as he guides himself deep inside of me.

It feel so unbelievably good in this position as I begin grinding back and forth. I moan with pure pleasure as he pushes me to go faster. He undoes my hair, throwing the scrunchie I had used to tie it back somewhere into the dark crevices of his car. Using one hand to hold me closer to his chest and wraps his other around my long, blonde trestles, tugging the ends gently as my mouth crashes onto his, our tongues colliding.

He breaks our kiss to groan out my name as he thrusts into me and I feel myself tighten around him. He pulls the string that was holding my dress around my neck and it falls, pooling around my waist. Eyeing my now naked breasts as they bounce in front of him, he takes one into his mouth and I feel his tongue slide across my nipple while his finger and thumb twist my other nipple gently.

“Fuck” my erotic scream fills the car, “Im so close”

“Hold on a little bit longer love” He urges me, his lips finding mine again and he kisses me slowly as I ride him faster. I feel his legs stiffen beneath me and I can tell his near the edge.

“Now baby” He tells me and I squeeze him tightly as I release around him, feeling my core pulsate as I’m coming down from my orgasm. He gives one last, tightly thrust followed by some smaller, less powerful ones as he spills himself into the condom.

I lay myself against his chest, our breathing matched as we try to slow it, his fingers entwined in my hair. I look up at his perfect face, glistening with sweat. He’s mine, he’s finally all mine.

“I love you” I whisper to him through the dark, pressing my soft lips against his own.

“I love you too” He replies and it no longer scares me to hear him say it out loud.

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