Soundtrack To My Youth (book 1)

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No matter what I did, the outcome was always destined to end the same way, with Bridget and Amber being separated, exactly like that had been the first time around but instead of it happening when they had finished school and going off to university, where they could sneak away from the watchful eye of Amber’s parents, it was being brought forward a lot sooner.

I felt so guilty, I had encouraged Bridget to act upon her feelings for Amber, I knew they were careful to not get caught out around Amber’s parents, when they were together at Amber’s their actions were always kept platonic, so to never raise suspicion and it had been working, up until My Mother decided to extract her revenge on Bridget in return for not dropping the court case.

We all thought it was an empty threat she was throwing around, much like the million others she had tried in the past but never followed through on, none of us expected her to actually be so cruel by destroying her own daughter’s relationship. It made me feel sick just thinking about the damage she had caused and, as per usual, Susan would walk away unscathed by what she’d done.

I knew first hand the pain of losing your first love, how it can leave you with wounds that take a long time to heal and scars that will be with you for a life time. I knew what it was like to never want to try again, to lose your trust, your hope. I never wanted that for Bridget.

Bridget loved romantic movies, she believed in all the magic of two characters falling in love yet the girl sitting across from me at lunch looked utterly defeated, destroyed by the one thing she was once so passionate for.

“I think we should go visit the koala park” I threw out the suggestion in the hopes that it might be a good distraction for Bridget, her bedroom was littered with thousands of plush animals that she collected and named so getting to hold an actual, real life koala could cheer her up, surely.

“I think that sounds like a brilliant idea” Dad agrees, finishing off his steak and washing it down with a cold beer. The day had brightened up considerably from the frosty morning we experienced, perfect weather for doing a spot of sight seeing.

“I wanna go home” Bridget pouts, dragging he fork through her uneaten bowl of pasta. She hadn’t spoken much since we left Amber’s grandparents, Dad had taken us to get ice cream, the international food of the broken hearted, he then left us to wander around while he went to visit the golden guitar statue and see where all his favourite country music artist play each year before meeting up with us at the pub for lunch.

“Can you excuse us?” I asked Dad and Sam, they both nod and walk away from the table. I look around the almost empty dinning room, hoping that no one is watching us, last thing Bridget needs is an audience. I come sit beside my sister, wrapping an arm around her small shoulders, she lets out a heavy sigh and hangs her head.

“I hate this place, it’s just a reminder of the fact that Amber will be living here and I’ll be going home without her.” Fresh tears fall down her soft cheeks, landing in her pasta bowl.

“They can’t stop you from keeping in contact with each other, well they can try but I highly doubt that her grandparents would know how to check emails”

“I doubt her grandparents would even own a computer though” She says, turning to face me, “but there would probably be computers at her new school, I could email her and tell her to keep it secret”

“And I’m sure she will visit her parents during school breaks and you both already know the best places to hang out without getting caught”

She smiles at me, it’s only small but it’s like a ray of light coming through the darken clouds.

“I still wish we could have a relationship that’s out in the public, like you and Sam do” I hear the sorrow in her voice, she’s tired of having to hide who she is from the world and she shouldn’t have to hide, she’s not hurting anyone by loving Amber.

“One day you will be able to” I promise her, squeezing her shoulders. “Next year we will both be having long distance relationships though so we can lean on each other for support”

She looks at me wide eyed, understanding where this is going.

“He’s moving back to England isn’t he? To go to university?” She asks

“He hasn’t actually decided yet but it’s looking highly likely, he has a dream and he has to chase it or he will regret not doing so for the rest of his life” My own heart now aches at just the thought of Sam leaving, I see him every day now and soon I won’t see him until we can get our schedules to match up

“You should go with him, you love each other, you shouldn’t be apart” It would be so easy for me to follow Sam to England but I can’t, not when I know what is coming, I have to stay, Dad’s going to need me.

As if reading my mind, Dad and Sam make their way back over to the table, ending my conversation with Bridget and freeing me from having to explain why it is that I’m staying in Claremont next year.

“Let’s go see the koalas” Bridget announces enthusiastically, masking the pain she feels from not only losing Amber but also finding out her best friend will be leaving soon too.

“That’s my girl” Dad beams at her.


The koala park was about an hour out of Tamworth, ran by rangers who asked for nothing but a small donation that would help fund the conservation of the park, in return we were able to get up close with the cute, grey, fury marsupial’s as they munched on eucalyptus leaves or slept on low hanging branches.

“They’re often called bears but they’re not a bear, they’re more closely related to wombats” One of the rangers explained while she hand fed a baby koala, “Most of their diet comes from consuming eucalyptus leaves, which has limited nutritional and caloric content, making them sleep up to 20 hours a day”

“Bridget, that would be your dream, to sleep 20 hours a day” Dad jokes with Bridge, gaining him a smile from her in return.

“They have very few predators but are threatened by diseases such as chlamydia and retrovirus” The ranger continues, I look over at Sam next to me who is trying hard to muffle his laugh.


“Kristen and koalas have something in common, they’ve both got raging STIs” He whispers to me and I giggle.

“Masses of the koala population have been wiped out or left injured and homeless due to the devastating bushfires we had this year, here at the koala park we work hard to rehabilitate the injured at our wildlife hospital and re-home them back into the wild” She walks between us, with a koala in her arms, allowing us to pat it and feel how soft it’s fur is. “If you do happen upon an injured or dehydrated koala, we ask that you call your local wildlife rescue and please, never give them water out of a water bottle, doing so can make their lungs fill with water, always give them water they can sip from a bowl or cup, or if you don’t have one of those handy use a hat or a helmet”

“He’s just so cute” Bridget remarks to the ranger as she pats the koala, it’s working its magic and making her smile.

“She’s actually a girl, a joey who’s Mother was killed in a roadside accident a few months back, leaving this little one to helplessly fend for herself until we found her. We will keep her here at at park until she’s grown enough to survive out in the wild on her own” The koala’s droopy eye’s fall upon Bridget, taking each other in. “would you like to hold her?” The ranger asks Bridget and she nods, the ranger carefully passes the baby koala into Bridget’s arms as we all gather round for a better look. Bridget had the morning from hell but you would never know it right now as she’s gently rocking back and forth, cooing at the baby in her arms while Dad eagerly snaps a million pictures.

Passing through the gift shop on the way out Bridget picks out a cute, baby koala plushie to add to her ever growing collection, Dad and Sam both buy magnets and I buy a novelty photo frame which I thought would be perfect to display one of the photos that Dad took of Bridget.


“Do you wanna take a walk?” Sam asked me once we were back at the camp site, staying in the national park meant we were surrounded by all this glorious bushland filled with beautifully, coloured birds and bright plants.

We asked Bridget if she wanted to join us but she was drained after the day she had, choosing to sit by the fire with Dad and play her Gameboy. Sam took my hand and led me along the trail that went up into the mountains with the air becoming crisper as we ascended.

We reached a clearing which looked out over the whole city below, it was picturesque and so serene just standing up there.

“I’ve been thinking about next year” Sam muses, pulling me into his arms, my back pressed up against his chest, I can feel it rise and fall as he holds onto me tightly, it’s peaceful, soothing, just him and I with the world at our feet.

“We can make it work” I feel like I say this every time we talk about next year, it’s my way of reassuring both of us.

“I know baby, it will be a lot of effort on both our parts but I can fly home often and you can come visit over there, I’d love for you to meet my Mum’s crazy sisters and my Nan, she’s the sweetest and she’d love you as much as I do” I love that he’s making plans for the future, for our future, I love that we’re on the same page for where we want our relationship to go after school ends, with Sam, I never have to be afraid that he’s off cheating or be scared that he’s saying one thing to my face but disrespecting me behind my back, what you see is what you get and I love that about him.

I turn around to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck, drawing him down to me. Our lips brush together gently before he deepens the kiss, slipping his tongue inside my mouth and massaging it against my own. Our kiss becoming heated fast in our secluded spot, we risk getting caught if we go further but neither of us is stopping.

I can feel his hardness, pushing up against my abdomen, turning me on more. My hand travels down from his neck and I palm him over his shorts, making him groan into my mouth. He breaks away from our kiss, bringing his lips to my ear, his hot breath leaving tingles on my neck as he whispers to me.

“I need to be inside you now” He leads me over to a near by park bench under a shaded tree, it’s late enough in the afternoon that there’s no sunlight highlighting the bench, it’s almost hidden from view, almost but not quite.

“We can’t, anyone could come up that trail and catch us” my mind is racing with all the possible outcomes of how this will go terribly wrong if anyone catches us in the act.

“I can’t walk down the mountain with a this thing sticking out” He takes a seat on the park bench, unbuckles his belt and slides his shorts and briefs half way down his calves, using his hoodie as a cover, he pulls me back onto his lap and drapes it over my waist and legs, then reaches up under the hem of my skirt to slip my panties to the side before guiding himself inside of me.

I whimper with joy as he pushes himself deep into me, filling me. It’s our first time without a condom and he feels different, there’s no longer a barrier between us, just his skin against mine as I push back, rocking my hips against his.

“I can feel how warm and wet you are baby, it’s gonna make me come a lot quicker” His arm snakes around my waist to hold me upright as my head rolls back, hitting his shoulder, his mouth kissing my neck, most likely marking my delicate skin but I really don’t care, my only concern right now is the orgasm building swiftly inside me

My feet can’t even reach the ground right now but I’m still able to create more movement by gyrating my hips. His hand slips between my legs, his thumb drawing circles over my swollen, sensitive nub making me cry out with the pleasure he’s giving.

“I’m so close” I whimper out, feeling my release is only seconds away.

“Come for me baby, come on my dick” he demands and I let go, quivering against him as my ecstasy takes over. Warm liquid shoots up into me as he holds me tightly against his chest, giving me his final thrusts.

“You have no idea how fucking tight and warm you felt wrapped around my dick Princess, it was like I could feel everything and you were amazing” He kisses my neck as we sit, still joined together, basking in our risky love making for a moment until I decided to stand up and instantly felt the mess between my legs, the mess normally captured by the condom was now running down my thighs, Sam grabbed his hoodie and cleaned me off before pulling up his own pants. “I’m so sorry baby, I never even considered the one downside to us shagging in public, I was too caught up in the moment”

“I love you Sam and I love that you care enough to clean it off but I think I definitely need a shower” I hold out my hand to him and we make our way back down the mountain side, passing a young couple who look to be in their early twenties.

“The view is amazing up there” Sam comments to them, making me giggle.

“We’re not really here for the view, just to escape the in-laws” The man says, winking at us and laughing.

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