Soundtrack To My Youth (book 1)

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To The Moon and Back

“So, let me get this straight, while I’m enjoying watching a, real, game of rugby with your Dad tonight, you will be spoon fed bullshit from some fortune teller who is charging you $20” To say Sam wasn’t exactly on board with us seeing a psychic would be an understatement, he had made his thoughts on the matter very much known since I had told him of my plans, throwing around words such as hocus pocus, gimmick, scammer and now fortune teller.

I must admit, I too am a skeptic when it comes to anyone trying to tell me they know what my future brings but when I ran the idea of going with Kate past Bridget she more than jumped at it, I think she was looking for answers of what the future holds and would take them from anyone at this point. We were lying on my bed, waiting for Kate to arrive so Bridget and I could leave, the rugby game wasn’t due to start until 7 so Dad and Sam had made plans to grab dinner before the game.

“I’m doing this for Bridget remember, you saw how excited she got when I told her we were going to see this lady tonight, apparently one of the girls in Bridget class went to see her last week and raved about how spot on she was so now Bridget thinks she will have all the answers”

“When in reality this chick will probably just sell her false hope” Sam grumbled as his fingers drew circles on my stomach.

“I’m starting to think you’re just scared that she may tell me things about you, about how you’ll become rich and famous and dump me for some actress with big boobs and a small brain” I laugh, attempting to lighten the mood.

“It took me 2 years to finally make you mine, you think I’d throw it all away for some bimbo?”

He leans down and kisses my lips so softly, leaving me wanting more.

“Roni, Kate’s here” Bridget bellows down the hall, ending our moment together. we make my way out to the living room to see both Kate and Alex standing there.

“Oh don’t tell me she roped you into this too?” Sam laughs at Alex.

“Not a chance, she said you and Roni’s Dad were going to see the game tonight and I was wondering if I could tag along?” Alex explains

“Of course you can” Dad yells out from the dinning room where he’s reading today’s newspaper, he comes into the living room to see us off.

“Come on, let’s get going” Bridget urges Kate and I as we say goodbye to our boys, Bridget and I kiss Dad on the cheek and then head on out the door to Kate’s VW Bug.


Our psychic lives in a pretty affluent area within Claremont, which tells me she’s not doing too bad for herself doing this gig making me think that I too could use my knowledge of the future and earn myself some serious cash.

“She’s usually booked out so far in advance but when I called her to see if I could go on the waiting list she said she could fit me in tonight and told me to bring my friend” Kate remarked as we made our way to the front door. Even though it was still very light outside the woman had still turned her porch light on for us.

“Should we knock or do you think she just knows when we were here anyway?” I joked as Bridget rang the door bell and rolled her eyes at me.

“Shut up non-believer, stop trying to get your negative energy all over my shinny aura” Bridget chastised me, Kate and I exchanged looks and tried to muffle our laughter as the door swung open, revealing a young woman, probably in her mid 20′s, dressed in track pants and a sweater, her brunette hair pulled back into a messy bun that sat high on her head, not exactly what I had in mind of what a psychic would look like at all.

“Hello girls, my name is Jackie, I’ll be reading for you tonight, I’ll get two of you to wait in my living room while I take one at a time into the reading room and I’ll only take payment if you feel that your reading was legitimate” Jackie leads us through her very plush, two story home and into her large living room. “I’ll start with you Kate, then Bridget and I’ll see you last Veronica”

Kate follows Jackie down the hall and enters a room off to the left.

“She knows our names, see she is the real deal” Bridget says matter of factly as we sink into the oversized, comfy couch that feels like a cloud.

“Kate probably rang her to tell her we were coming and she wrote our names down” I roll my eyes at her, the naivety of my sister.



Kate was in with Jackie for around 45 minutes and when she finally emerged from the reading room she was so pale, like she’d seen a ghost. Jackie summoned Bridget, who wasted no time scurrying down the hall and into the room.

“What did she tell you? Was it bad?” I questioned Kate once she had taken her seat beside me on the couch, pulling a small bottle of water from her hand bag and taking small sips as she tried to compose herself.

“I need to go to the pharmacy on the way home”

“Did you forget to bu tampons again? I have a new, unopened box at my house that I bought last week, you can have them, save yourself the trip”

“Thank you for the offer but I don’t think I’m going to be needing them for a while, not if what Jackie told me is actually true” She tells me, placing her head in her hands.

“Oh.” It’s all I could say, she had thrown me for a loop. I put my arm around her shoulders and feel her taking in deep breaths to try and calm herself. “You can do the test at my house, my Dad will be out with Sam and Alex until late so we have the house to ourselves”

If I had never come back and broke up with Lucas at Sam’s party then Kate would never have hooked up with Alex, started dating him and now be potentially pregnant with his child. The Kate I knew didn’t get pregnant until she was 36 and that was very much planned with her husband.

My decision changed Kate’s destiny.

By the time Bridget came strolling out of the room Kate was just a bundle of nerves, Bridget took my seat beside Kate, I could tell she desperately wanted to talk about what she had just discovered but she read the expression on Kate’s face and instead held it in.

“Veronica” Jackie said as I began to make my way down to the reading room. For someone who really didn’t believe in all of this psychic stuff I certainly felt nervous walking into that room, after witnessing both Kate and Bridget come out of it.

The room smelt of incense burning, it was dimly lit and there was a deck of tarot card sitting at a table with two chairs, Jackie held out one of the chairs for me to sit in before taking her spot on the other side of the table. She began shuffling the card while looking me over with a huge grin on her face.

“You’re not meant to be here” She states to me after what seemed like forever, she places the cards down on the table and pulls 3 from the deck at random.

“Kate asked us to come with her during the week, I thought she had told you?” She knew our names, she had to know we were coming.

“No darling, I mean you’re not meant to be here” she floats her arms around in the air, “You’ve lived this all before and now you’ve been brought back because you’ve got unfinished business”

The hairs on the back of my neck stand up and my eyes go wide, any scepticism that I had has now left the building, she has my full attention.

“I took care of my unfinished business”

“Not all of it, otherwise you’d be back where you belong”

“I’m going to go back to 2020? I didn’t even know that was an option anymore, I’ve been here over 4 months now and you’re telling me that once I complete a set of tasks I can go back?” I honestly don’t know how I feel about this, on one hand I’m dying to see my Bridget again but on the other hand I would be losing Sam and all the time we’d spent together would never have existed.

“The life you will be going back to will not be the life you remember, being here, now, you’ve altered your own path. Although you will remember your old life you will have new memories or the years between now up until your time, you won’t remember them at first but they will slowly come to you with the help of those around you.” She does that floaty thing with her arms again as I try to take in exactly what she’s telling me. I’ll be going back and Sam and I will both know that we had this relationship. I still have so many questions that I’m hoping she can answer.

“Why was I sent here though? I’m sure everyone has unfinished business, surely they don’t just wake up in some random year, forced to deal with it”

She turns her head to the side, closes her eyes and smiles.

“Your Father sent you back here, he watches over you and your sister, he says that he had been trying to guide you towards Sam for many years but you, my girl, are very stubborn when it comes to matters of the heart” She laughs quietly to herself as she flips the first card over. “Someone close to you has betrayed you”

“Yes, he did but I cut him off so he can no longer hurt me anymore” She’s telling me information I already know, I need to get to the stuff I don’t know.



“The betrayal has come from a girl, someone you trust, I’m not being shown who though but you will find out soon”

“It’s Kristen, she slept with Lucas while we were together, I knew all of this already though”

She flips the next card over and pauses.

“The one who breaks your heart will be the one who puts your life back together” She’s very cryptic, I’ll give her that.

“I don’t think Lucas is capable of putting anyone life back together” I laugh but she doesn’t join in, instead she once again turns her head to the side, as if she conversing with someone next to her, someone I can’t see.

“Your life is made up of a series of chances and choices, everyone’s is. Your soul was made for Sam’s, you were always fated to be together but you missed the chance to be with him because Lucas made the choice to intervene, the universe threw so many opportunities at you to leave Lucas and realise that Sam is the one but you were blinded by misguided love” She says before flipping the final card over. “The lovers card, but it’s reversed”

“What does that mean?”

“It’s telling me that theres a lack of balance in your relationship, it will take you many years to become equals, at times you will run to him and other times you will run from him but your souls were created for each other, you’re drawn to each other.” What does she mean by a lack of balance? We have plenty of balance and we are equals. I need to know more about my life with Sam, all of it.

“Can you tell me more about my future?” I ask her, she opens a box of matches sitting on the table in front of her, strikes one against the box and watches the flame flicker to life before lighting a candle, the orange glow casts shadows around the room, making me see things out of the corner of my eye.

“Of course darling girl” She smiles warmly at me, closes her eyes and takes in a deep breath. “I’m going to say things as they are shown or told to me, it will be quick and I can not stop to elaborate, you will only be told what your guides what you to know, they like to leave some things a mystery”

“I understand”

“You have a friend who desperately needs your help but he is too afraid to ask for it, your Father is using the word redemption and saying that you must forgive and let go of the past so that you can help him have a future”

My mind is racing, trying to figure out who she could be talking about but I don’t have time to stop and process it because she’s moved on to the next sliver of information she trickles through.

“London will be your greatest love and also your biggest loss but she will hold onto your heart forever”

I’m going to London? This excites me, I’ve never even been out of our state before, let alone overseas.

“Sam holds the link to Bridget meeting her soulmate as you hold the link to Lucas meeting his, these pairing strengthen your own bond with Sam.”

Hold up a second, I have to help Lucas find his soulmate just so I can be stronger with Sam? No way, I don’t want Lucas in my life, I’m finally happy and free away from him and now she’s telling me I’m going to be stuck with him. Great, just great.

“I’m sorry my darling, that’s all they’ll allow me to tell you” She says, blowing out the candle, the smell of wax cooling fills the small room.

“Can I ask just one more question?” I feel like I’m now pleading with her.

“The day that you meet the flame haired, Irish woman, that will be your last day here” She answers the question I never asked but am desperate to know.

“Thank you Jackie” I stand up and move towards the door. Up until tonight I thought I knew everything about the future but in reality I knew nothing of what was coming, not now that everything had changed.

“You’re most welcome my darling and remember, everyone is capable of changing, they just have to want to.”

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