Soundtrack To My Youth (book 1)

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Crush

The first day of school seemed to just fly by so fast, although I already knew Kate was in my Drama class, I was happy to learn that I shared Geography with her also, Sam was in my Math and English classes, unfortunately I discovered that Lucas was also in my History and Biology classes, the good part was though that after what happened this morning he was avoiding me all together.

After sixth period I wandered down to the soccer field alone. Bridget had told me she would catch the bus home with Amber and Kate had flirted her way into getting kissing boy from the party to drive her home.

I’d never watched Sam play soccer in high school, only really saw him play when Bridget would force me out of bed at 3am during the telecast of World Cup but I couldn’t take my eyes off of him as he weaved the ball through the cones that the coach had set up for practice, I was so impressed by how much skill he had and how hard he worked.

Once the team had finished their training Sam hung back to talk to the coach as they packed up the equipment and he called me over to join them.

“Coach, this is Veronica” He introduced me, smiling proudly, sweat dripping from his face.

“Well it’s nice to finally put a face to the name, nice to meet you Veronica” Mr Taylor, Sam’s coach says to me while patting Sam on the back, “Don’t worry, he only says good things about you.” Sam laughs nervously and I blush, wanting to know what Sam has told his coach about me.

Sam says goodbye to his coach, grabs his bag and we make our way back up to the now empty school.

“I need to shower so badly, do you mind if I just quickly go to the change rooms? Or do you need to get home soon, you know to get ready for that hot date you have tonight?” He asks me

“Shower here, that way you’re not stinking the car up all the way home” I laugh

“It also gives you the opportunity to wonder what I look like naked” He teases me, a playful smile crossing his face.

“No need to wonder, I’ve already seen you naked” I confess, stoping him in his tracks.

“When?”

“Cosmopolitan Magazine, June edition, 2010, they did a photoshoot of male athletes who play ball sports, something about raising awareness of mens health, really it was just an excuse to look at pro athletes in the nude. You were holding a soccer ball very strategically to cover your ah, manliness though so I don’t worry, I haven’t seen it all, just enough.” I inform him proudly, ” But I do know that you have a birthmark, almost in the shape of a heart right here” I point high up on his left thigh, he smiles widely, taking hold of my hand and brings it over to his right side, the picture must have been flipped.

“Actually, my birthmark is here” He corrects me, grabbing my finger and guiding it to his right thigh, “You must have studied that picture a lot to be able to notice something so small” He laughs

“Bridget put it up on my fridge, in fact it’s still there, so yeah, I see it every day. I did have a one boyfriend who was threatened by its presence, didn’t help that Bridget liked to rub it into him that we knew you, in the end he gave me an ultimatum, either the picture goes or he would and like I said, it’s still there” I tell him, he reaches up and runs his thumb softly along my bottom lip.

“You’re gorgeous Veronica Kreslin” He tells me softly before kissing my forehead and continuing his walk to the change rooms. He has this weird affect over me, like I feel my stomach fill with butterflies every time he touches me, I have never, in my life, felt like that with any man.

~~~

Sam drove me back to my house with the promise that he would be back at 6pm. Bridget’s door was closed as I passed it to get to my room, it was odd because Bridget never closed her door, she once told me that she liked being able to know what everyone in the house was up to, she had a strong fear of missing out.

I stepped into my own room and browsed through my wardrobe, trying to find something to wear that actually looked cute but nothing was standing out, just the oversized bland dresses. Maybe Bridget had something I could borrow. Bridget was very much a girly-girl, still is really, she loves wearing dresses and skirts, it was most likely Bridget that convinced me to buy the two mini skirts I had in my wardrobe, considering she owned thousands of them.

I made my way back over to Bridget’s room, I could hear music coming from inside so I knew she was home. I knocked once on her door and then opened it, walking into her room.

“Bridge do have a-” My words cut short by what my eyes stumbled upon, Amber straddling Bridget on Bridgets bed, their lips locked together in heated passion. This wasn’t the first time I had caught Bridget making out with a woman, my sister was a lesbian after all , I’d been aware of it since she was 18 but what surprised me was the fact that she was kissing Amber.

I knew Amber quite well and in the whole time I had known her she had never once shown any romantic interest towards Bridget. After they finished high school Amber was accepted to a university interstate, She and Bridget still kept in touch though, often visiting each other throughout the years but the visits became few and far between once Amber met and married her husband, well now ex-husband, Elijah. When Bridget married Carol I was surprised that Amber was unable to make it to the wedding, claiming she had work commitments that she couldn’t get out of, this upset Bridget but Carol was over-the-moon about the fact that Amber wouldn’t be present at their wedding, Carol was strongly jealous of the friendship between Bridget and Amber.

Amber jumped off Bridget in a flash, moving to the centre of the room, her eyes cast awkwardly on the carpet, her face flushed as the tears began to run down her soft cheeks. Bridget on the other hand looked at me with fiery anger building inside her, her hands balled into fists as she stood from the bed and came up to my face.

“Get out” She screamed, her whole body trembling.

“Bridget I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have just barged in but there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s no different to when you walked in on me and Lucas kissing” I try my best to reassure them.

“Get the fuck out of my room” Bridget yells even louder, I hear Dad’s heavy footsteps making his way down the hall.

“Girls, what is going on? Bridget I can hear you screaming from all the way out the back and if I can hear you then the neighbours can too, they will think we are getting robbed and call the police. I’ve had a long day at work and the last thing I want to do is come home to two teenagers who are tearing each others heads off.” Amber takes this as her cue to run from the house, leaving Bridget even more angry as she shoots daggers at me. If looks could kill I’d be six feet under.

“Sorry Dad, it was completely my fault, I take the blame for this, I’m so sorry Bridget, I just wanted to borrow a dress to wear tonight” I stumble through my apology and exit the room, slinking my way back to my own room and flopping down heavily on my bed, I feel like complete shit, here I am getting excited about a date tonight while my sister is feeling like she needs to hide from the world.

“Are you going out with Kate tonight Veronica?” My dad is now standing in my doorway, arms crossed, looking at me sternly, I know exactly where this is leading.

“Umm no, not with Kate”

“Veronica we talked about this last year, this is the most important year of your life, I don’t want you throwing it away because of Lucas, that boy is bad news and I will not have him dragging you down a path of destruction, you’ve worked way too hard to just slack off. I’m putting my foot down Veronica, you can see him on the weekends when you’re here, if you must but during the week you’re to focus on your studies” My father strongly disliked Lucas, calling him the bad seed, among other now humours names.

“Actually I broke up with Lucas” a small mile appears on my Dad’s face momentarily, this was music to his ears, “Sam asked me out and seeing as it’s only to first day of school and teachers don’t even assign homework on the first day I thought that you could make an exception to your ‘no school night’ rule and just let me go out just this once, please” I’m trying my best to sweet talk him, I never even considered I’d have to run the date past my Dad first when I made it considering that it’s been years since I’ve had to ask permission just to leave the house.

“Sam? That’s the British kid with that new truck?” He asks me

“Yep, that’s him”

“Be home by 9” He tells me as he walks away. I look at the clock on my bedside table and realise I only have an hour before Sam will be here, I settle on one of the bland dresses I own and make my way to the bathroom so I can shower. Standing under the cascading water my thoughts are filled with Bridget and how she must be feeling right now. I shouldn’t even be going out tonight, I should just stay home and make things right with Bridget, I hate that I am the cause of her anger.

When I stepped out of the shower I saw a blue, satin, knee length dress hanging from the towel rack, Bridget must have snuck it in here. It fits me like a glove and it’s so beautiful, my sister has excellent style. I wander back out into the hall, noticing that Bridget’s door is now open but I still knock anyway, she’s lying on her bed reading, she doesn’t even look up at me when she hears me knock.

“Thank you Bridge, you lending me the dress, it means the world to me” I’m trying my hardest to let her see that nothing has changed.

“I didn’t do it for you, I did it for Sam, he shouldn’t have to go out with a slob” She remarks bitterly, tearing her eyes away from her book to view me in her dress, I spin around for her and she gives me a small smile.

“I love you Bridget, nothing will ever change that” I try once again to reassure her but her eyes glance back down to her book, I turn to leave but am surprised when I hear her speak again

“It’s not what you think, we were just practicing kissing....for when we get boyfriends, we want to be good kissers for them” She stumbles over her own lie but I’m not going to call her out on it.

“Well it’s normal and it’s natural and it’s nothing to be ashamed of” A statement that I had reaffirmed to her many times when she first came out to me and when she had come out to our highly homophobic Mother, which was met with such venom.

“You should practice kissing with Sam tonight, he’d like that a lot” She quickly tries to take the focus off herself.

“Oh would he now? And how exactly do you know this?” I question her but she doesn’t give me an answer, just a coy smile, “You sure you’re ok if I go out tonight? I don’t have to, I can just stay here and we can talk”

“I want you to go out, Sam’s a good guy, I want him to become your boyfriend” She swoons, Bridget had an obsession with romantic movies.

“Whoa, let’s not jump the gun here, it’s just one date, that was won through a game of mini golf and you’re forgetting, Sam Lions doesn’t do girlfriends, he’s a player, always has been, always will be” I laugh as I exit her room, the thought of Sam becoming my boyfriend is hilarious.

~~~

Sam knocked on our front door dead on 6pm, my Dad answered it, shook his hand and invited him in, a vast difference from the way Dad had greeted Lucas whenever he had visited our house, if Lucas had even bothered to get out of his car that is, usually he would sound the horn and I’d go running out to him but if he did happen to make it to the door, dad would just grunt and make him wait outside for me.

Sam looked hot in his dark jeans, white nike shoes and white dress shirt, I could smell his cologne but it wasn’t over powering, it smelt woodsy. He looked like a male model and I was so busy checking him out that I didn’t even notice he was holding out a beautiful white rose for me, a wide smile crossing his hansom face.

“Thank you” I can feel a blush rushing up my cheeks as I take the rose from him, Dad and Bridget staring at me, I bring it to my nose, breathing in its floral scent before its ripped from my hands by Bridget.

“I’ll go put this in a vase for you, Sam can you come help me, Dad you just stay here with Veronica, don’t come into the kitchen” Bridget hands out orders as Sam follows her out of the room, Dad just laughs.

“Remember Veronica, home by 9pm and no funny business” Dad gives me his warning once the room is cleared.

“What’s funny business?” I already know the answer but I love to make my Father squirm, talking about sex with his teenage daughters makes him uncomfortable.

“You know exactly what I mean Veronica, don’t be doing anything that will have you coming home pregnant” Ironic really, as an adult I’m constantly asked about when I’m having children, a question I find to be extremely confronting. Luckily Bridget and Sam come back into the front room, saving me, or Dad from the embarrassment from having the talk. I hug both Dad and Bridget goodbye and follow Sam out to his truck where he uneasily hands me the keys.

“Please remember that this is my baby, I need you to be very careful with her, stop at stop signs and no crashing into telegraph poles” There’s panic in his tone as we climb inside the truck.

“I’ll be very gentle” I promise him as I start the ignition and the truck purrs, “Where are we going to anyway?” I realised now that we hadn’t actually planned anything to do.

“Dinner or a movie?” He suggests

“Dinner, only because I’ve most likely seen every movie that’s out plus that way we can talk, I haven’t forgotten that you’ve got some explaining to do” I remind him as I take care to back out of my driveway and on to the busy street.

“There’s some nice restaurants down by the lake” Sam says and I head in that direction, taking note of all the minor changes that have happened with the landscape in the last 20 years, the video store which was knocked down and turned into an Aldi, the bushland which is now an expressway.

I parked the truck neatly in the car park at the lake, making sure I was straight between the lines, climb out of the truck and hand Sam back his keys and he hands me his phone, I look at him confused, not understanding why he wants me to hold it.

“Go into the call log and you will have your answer about Sunday” I do as he instructs and see that his last call in the list was on Sunday afternoon, at the time we were together and it was from Lucas. I feel completely petty, I acted like a jealous girlfriend, “Lucas called just as I was about to kiss you, he sounded like he needed a friend because his girlfriend had dumped him the day before and I saw it as a sign”

“A sign of what?”

“A sign that I shouldn’t be kissing Lucas’ girl, like the powers that be, or whatever, were stopping me from making a move on you and I felt so guilty, I felt bad that I just left you by your car with no expiation and I felt like a shitty friend to Lucas because all I could think about is kissing you” He explains, his face full of shame, he been battling with himself.

“And now? Clearly you changed your mind between Sunday and today” I point out, taking a step closer to him, locking eyes as I slide his phone into his pocket, his breathing hitched as I run my hands up his torso, wrapping them around his neck, drawing him in closer to me.

“I don’t think you want to know what changed my mind Roni” His tone full of nerves.

“I do though” I press my lips softly against his cheek as his hands begin to trail down my body.

“It’s going to kill the mood though” He warns me as I lay small kisses along his neck leading up to his earlobe.

“Just tell me so I can kiss you” I say impatiently

“Lucas didn’t ask me to come around just to talk about you, I thought that’s what he wanted, I thought he would be heartbroken, losing you and all but he didn’t even mention you, instead he wanted me to know, in detail, how he had shagged Kristen after you dumped him” His words hit me like a tonne of bricks but I wasn’t surprised, I had damaged Lucas’ ego, Kristen could have been any girl who was willing to build him back up again, as for bragging to Sam, he wanted it known to the world that was unbreakable.

I bring my head back so I’m looking at sam, a smile spreading across my face as I say the words he’s been wanting to hear.

“Kiss me”

There’s no hesitation, no second guessing as he brings a hand up to cup my face gently, tilting his head to one side and pressing his lips softly to mine as he leans me back against the truck, I feel his tongue sweep across my bottom lip, asking for permission and I grant him access, letting the kiss get deeper, allowing our tongues to dance together in slow rhythm as a soft moan escapes my mouth. I have never been kissed with such passion before, he’s taking his time as my hands begin to roam under his shirt, feeling every crafted bump and groove along his torso. Stroking my cheek as his lips leave my own, my mouth craving more.

“I’ve imagined kissing you for so long now, never thought I’d be given the chance but that kiss, that was better than anything my imagination conjured up, you’re incredible Veronica” he says, taking my hand in his, our fingers intertwining and leads us towards the row of restaurants along the waterfront.

“That was the best kiss I’ve ever had” I announce to him, bringing my fingers up to touch my lips that still tingle from his touch.

“We can do it again, if you want to, at the end of the date?” It’s almost like he’s pleading with me.

“I’d very much like that” I tell him, feeling my heart skip a beat at just the thought.

We picked a Mexican restaurant to eat at, I ordered nachos and Sam ordered a burrito, when the waiter delivered our food it looked amazing, mine was piled high with corn chip, ground beef, a dollop of sour cream and a small container of guacamole and it smelt like heaven on a plate.

“If Bridget were here she’d be taking a picture of her food, putting it on Instagram with some ridiculous hashtag like nomnomnom” I laughed thinking about my sister and how she can never just have a meal out without letting her 600 followers know.

“None of what you said made any sense what so ever” Sam says looking confused, making me laugh harder.

“I’m sorry, silly little things remind me of Bridget and just how funny she can be” I explain, I miss my Bridget a little bit.

“Speaking of Bridget, you walked in on her with Amber she tells me” Sam says tentatively, He knows and he’s trying to figure out what I know.

“Yeah, I was a little surprised by that, not because she was kissing a girl, I’ve seen Bridget kiss many girls but because the girl was Amber. I’ve known Amber for over 20 years now and in that whole time she’s been straight, she even married a man. Bridget is a lesbian but Amber is straight”

“Amber may not be as straight as what you think she is” Sam gives me a knowing smile.

“Carol” It’s the first thought that pops into my head as if I’ve just solved a puzzle I didn’t even know I was piecing together.

“Who’s Carol?” Sam asks, looking a little lost

“Carol was Bridget’s wife, she hated Amber, she wouldn’t let Amber visit their house and barred Bridget from going to Amber’s, she was so jealous of the time Bridget would spend with Amber and it destroyed their marriage. What if she had a reason to be jealous?” My mind is now racing, I though Carol was just being petty and unreasonable throughout the whole time she was married to Bridget and it made me not like her at all.

“Maybe” Sam says, picking up his burrito and taking a bite, this is my cue to change the subject.

“You looked really good today....when you were at practice I mean” My words stumbling out of my mouth and I feel a my cheeks begin to burn with blush.

“You’ll have to come to a game, we’re playing this Sunday, down the coast” He suggests, a smile appearing on his face.

“Bridget and I have to go to our Mother’s house this Saturday, which just so happens to be on the coast so I think we could swing by, be your fan club for the day and if you win I’ll let you take me on a second date next Friday night” Talk of a second date gains his full attention as he places his burrito down.

“I want to take you somewhere special” He tells me, reaching out and taking my hand in his, once again brushing his thumb across mine, sending tingles through my body.

“I should get you home, don’t wanna get your dad offside” Sam said as we were leaving the restaurant, my hand intertwined with his as he leads the way back to where his truck was parked. The soft sound of water hitting the shoreline and the smell of the sea filled the air on the warm Summer night.

“I had a really good time tonight” I tell him as I climb into the passenger seat of the truck, he looks over at me from the drivers side and smiles brightly.

“Pretty girl, you have no idea how happy you’ve made me tonight” He reaches over the centre console and tucks my hair behind my ear and kisses my cheek, “We should do something on Friday night, it doesn’t have to be a date, it could be with the group, like see a movie together?” He suggests, bringing his lips closer to mine, my hand tugs at his hair, silently begging him to kiss me but he’s resisting, holding back until he gets his answer.

“Only if I get to pick the movie” brushing my lips against his, I need him to kiss me, I need to feel that electricity again but he’s just teasing me.

“I doubt I’ll be watching much of the movie anyway” He whispers in my ear, his warm breath igniting my desire more.

“what else would you be doing?” I ask him, my heartbeat racing, taking in deep breaths to try and slow it, I close my eyes and wait.

“This” His lips crash onto mine, his tongue finding its way into my mouth as I wrap my hand around the back of his neck, pulling him in deeper.

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