{{ contest.story_page_sticky_bar_text }} Be the first to recommend this story.
Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
Manan Kapoor would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

That Obscure Object of Desire

By Manan Kapoor All Rights Reserved ©

Thriller / Romance

Prologue

Anja was always there. I don’t remember seeing her the first time or falling for her like lovers do. She was like my first laugh, my first cigarette; like all the memories that you cannot recollect. All I can recall is that I love her. Like the heavy air around me, I always felt her presence as if she was a cage. And I was the bird who was born to be incarcerated in it, to die in her confinement. But my death was always curled in her arms, tangled in her long brown hair. And I knew it all along that I was meant to be with her. Love was simple, I thought.

Somehow, the habit of looking through my window, just observing all the people passing by seems to grow every day. I sit there watching them walk from the time they appear in the frame till the time they disappear, crossing into a street or just fading from my sight. And as I sit looking through the windowpane with my blank face reflecting the light of the dying sun, like every man who walked this earth, I daydream. I am lost, thinking about the things that are yet to unfurl and the things that have already spread out before me like an abyss into which I stare. And she is there in all of my naïve extrapolations, standing in a white gown with those rose cheeks that make the flowers shy away into the buds from which they sprouted. There are days when I sit by the window, expecting to see her emerge from the shadows, walking towards my apartment, come running back to me. And I smile every time I think of that. Love was simple, I assumed. And like every man who loved, I was wrong. I was mistaken, wide off the mark; my dreams were vivid, the realities were the expectations in slivers, writhing in agony as if gasping for the last breath.

I never knew I loved her till the time she was reduced to a fragment of my memory. I realized in those long intervals of introspection the only thing pulling me back was her. Like gravity, the more I tried to defy her, the more she pulled me. And I kept spiraling downwards with every object and thought that evoked her memory, with every blink of an eye, I hit the ground. Sometimes, I feel that I should have given in to the voice that was echoing in my head. I could probably be with her now, I could have saved myself from the hate in the eyes of every woman I devoured to forget her. I could have saved myself, saved her. I drenched myself in alcohol, expecting to drown, to somehow die on my way back to the apartment as I crept and slithered on the pavements. I thought it could cure me of the disease, but it only aggravated my condition. It didn’t make me forget her, or find someone new. All it did was numb my mind. Somehow, I could not feel anything new, everything was constantly repeating in my head like a tape that is stuck. I tried to hate her, but it was too easy, her skin deserved much more.

Nevertheless, even as I sit here with the whiskey burning down my throat, I don’t despise the idea of love, or even her. For every moment I spent with her, every time I accidentally caressed her hand while we walked through the snow in the tormenting Decembers, I felt the sigh of summers. Unrequited love was like red wine spilt on a white linen, you can never remove the stain. And all her memories, all her nonchalant movements, her brown hair, they are all scars on me that will never heal. A laceration that is always bleeding from which and my soul and my will to be, is seeping out. Yet, as I lie down beckoning the sandman, longing for the touch to spark a fire, to stir up my emotions that lie in smithereens, I believe that love is beautiful. It is not possession or control, but in knowing that she is like the smoke in my wretched lungs that gives me pleasure, and like everything that is pure and beautiful, I have to watch it scatter into thin air.


Continue Reading Next Chapter
Further Recommendations

Samantha Speed: There were several punctuation, grammar, and missing word problems but it did not detract from the story. This story was very well done, enjoyable, and had an interesting enough plot. It took a while to finish. This story is not complete. I love it, but I want to see another book or have more cha...

emmaneal74: I loved this booked. Would definitely buy it when published and read it again. The story flowed in such a way I just couldn't put it down. I was never confused about the characters or their roles in the story which can happen sometimes with so many lead. I'd recommend this to anyone wanting to r...

Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

Marijana1: The melancholy present throughout this story has the power to influence and etch into the minds of the readers, to stay there and refuse to leave even after they have finished reading the story. This is a deep, powerful story, making the readers wonder about everything – about love, about their e...

Stephen Warner: To start off, I am thoroughly impressed. The writing style is somewhat unique, and the plot seemed to move at a nice and steady pace. However, I was not expecting this to be a vampire book! I am usually not one for novels about vampires, but I was pleasantly surprised! You wrote with such grace a...

SPepper: I had a hard time putting this book down even to go to sleep. The story is compelling and beautifully character driven. I hope author will make this a series.

Jade Niday: This book kept me interested and wanting more. I fell in love with the characters and the plot. This book never has a dull moment. It has action, suspense and even love. Can't wait to find out what happens next

Althea Kerr: This is a tale that is all too familiar to South African readers having lived through a war era on our borders and beyond. It is obviously autobiographical as the mind under duress is so detailed and real. It has fantastic suspense if a bit disjointed - perhaps that is the fear and loneliness com...

CookieMonster911: The story overall was an adventure that is appealing to any age. The way the characters develop adds a more human characteristic to the novel. The writing style itself is amazing because you can learn every character's thoughts and emotions. The awkward love triangle and jerk moments adds to the ...

More Recommendations

zoheusher20: What more can I say? The writing style and little details drew me into the book and for the entirety of the story I was Juliet. I felt her turmoil and emotions and every trouble or triumph as they arrived. This story was very different and had quite a few little but unexpected twists that made it...

jessiehs: This was absolutely amazing. I loved how it went back and forth between perspectives. I actually cried at the end I was so happy. This was amazing. I can't even think of another word to describe it. Thank you for writing his.

OpheliaJones: This story took a different kind of spin on the "normal girl lives with definitely not normal guy" plot. The plot points of Frey's father, Liam's family, and Frey's view of Liam's world were good to read. She did not fall in love with him in the first couple weeks. Their lives were not smooth in ...

rudyoxborough46: An action-packed, mystical adventure awaits anyone wishing to read this novel. I’m amazed at how well you’ve managed to flesh out the characters in this book, and I hope to read more of your work.I’ve read books about goblins and elves and all that mumbo-jumbo before, and most accounts of these c...

rihannabkj2: Great story,I can hardly stop reading this novel. it shows that compassion and love can still exist after so many years between two persons. I most say well done to the Author who wrote this book. Others should read this book inorder to know that there can still be LOVE among two persons no matt...

nikole carr: After starting and stopping several books tonight, this book caught my attention from the very beginning and i stayed up until 6 a.m. to finish reading. The plot has many twists and the sexual scenes keep it interesting, too. im a florida native so the Caribbean location is fun to read about. th...

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.