Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
Manan Kapoor would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

That Obscure Object of Desire

By Manan Kapoor All Rights Reserved ©

Thriller / Romance

Prologue

Anja was always there. I don’t remember seeing her the first time or falling for her like lovers do. She was like my first laugh, my first cigarette; like all the memories that you cannot recollect. All I can recall is that I love her. Like the heavy air around me, I always felt her presence as if she was a cage. And I was the bird who was born to be incarcerated in it, to die in her confinement. But my death was always curled in her arms, tangled in her long brown hair. And I knew it all along that I was meant to be with her. Love was simple, I thought.

Somehow, the habit of looking through my window, just observing all the people passing by seems to grow every day. I sit there watching them walk from the time they appear in the frame till the time they disappear, crossing into a street or just fading from my sight. And as I sit looking through the windowpane with my blank face reflecting the light of the dying sun, like every man who walked this earth, I daydream. I am lost, thinking about the things that are yet to unfurl and the things that have already spread out before me like an abyss into which I stare. And she is there in all of my naïve extrapolations, standing in a white gown with those rose cheeks that make the flowers shy away into the buds from which they sprouted. There are days when I sit by the window, expecting to see her emerge from the shadows, walking towards my apartment, come running back to me. And I smile every time I think of that. Love was simple, I assumed. And like every man who loved, I was wrong. I was mistaken, wide off the mark; my dreams were vivid, the realities were the expectations in slivers, writhing in agony as if gasping for the last breath.

I never knew I loved her till the time she was reduced to a fragment of my memory. I realized in those long intervals of introspection the only thing pulling me back was her. Like gravity, the more I tried to defy her, the more she pulled me. And I kept spiraling downwards with every object and thought that evoked her memory, with every blink of an eye, I hit the ground. Sometimes, I feel that I should have given in to the voice that was echoing in my head. I could probably be with her now, I could have saved myself from the hate in the eyes of every woman I devoured to forget her. I could have saved myself, saved her. I drenched myself in alcohol, expecting to drown, to somehow die on my way back to the apartment as I crept and slithered on the pavements. I thought it could cure me of the disease, but it only aggravated my condition. It didn’t make me forget her, or find someone new. All it did was numb my mind. Somehow, I could not feel anything new, everything was constantly repeating in my head like a tape that is stuck. I tried to hate her, but it was too easy, her skin deserved much more.

Nevertheless, even as I sit here with the whiskey burning down my throat, I don’t despise the idea of love, or even her. For every moment I spent with her, every time I accidentally caressed her hand while we walked through the snow in the tormenting Decembers, I felt the sigh of summers. Unrequited love was like red wine spilt on a white linen, you can never remove the stain. And all her memories, all her nonchalant movements, her brown hair, they are all scars on me that will never heal. A laceration that is always bleeding from which and my soul and my will to be, is seeping out. Yet, as I lie down beckoning the sandman, longing for the touch to spark a fire, to stir up my emotions that lie in smithereens, I believe that love is beautiful. It is not possession or control, but in knowing that she is like the smoke in my wretched lungs that gives me pleasure, and like everything that is pure and beautiful, I have to watch it scatter into thin air.


Continue Reading Next Chapter
Further Recommendations

Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

KC_Ward: Black Mark was one of the most interesting romance novels I have read. I really enjoyed the fact that Mora has such a strong character and held her ground. Each character had a background story that gave clues as to what shaped their personalities. This novel was almost like two books rolled into...

Castro Ohana: This book is a great read. I can't wait for the next one (I hope there is another). Like my title I could not put it down! It has just the right amount of drama, actions and wow moments. I also love it when the person you least expected becomes the hero. A few grammar errors but overall a great...

smile4me: Exciting page turner. I was barely able to put it down to go to bed. I can usually figure out the twists before they are revealed but not this time! Such a thrill to be surprised. I can hardly wait for the follow up!!

Alkira Joan: Great story, I found it hard to read especially the dialogue. You just need to fix up some spelling errors and the gramma .I enjoyed this book. was a little hard to get though.,.,..,.,.,,..,.,.,, , , , ,.,, , , , , , , ,., , ,.,,,,,

mullikin902: Do not start reading this book unless you have enough time to finish it in one sitting, because you will not be able to put it down! Superlative! Addictive! Deliciously wicked characters you can't get enough of. Impatiently waiting for the sequel!

gaytrijohnson2014: This MUST read was so well plotted that you weren't able to see a clear ending, until the very end. Although a romance, the twist and turns kept you excited and guessing about what will happen next.I'm a busy mom if four and I just couldn't seem to tear myself away until I had finished the book,...

taosgw74: If this is the authors first attempt at writing, I'm floored. I was engrossed in the plot from the get go.

vanellesapp: It was so amazing to read this book each part was entertaining.It is that kind of love every body will like to have.I will have like the explanation on how they did it the first time to be more explicit but apart from that it is perfect

More Recommendations

romboili000: As I read this book it made me realize the importance of trusting big God. And believing that you can love even when it feels impossible. This story definitely has made me what to become a better person in Christ and just life. So thank you that's all I have to say because you wrote this story so...

Sandra Estrada: I loved every minute of it and I thank my lucky stars that brought me to the story, it's been a whirlwind of emotions, plot twist after plot twist but I never got tired of them. Abby and Kade's story is a hard one to understand but once you're submerged in their story and love, you can't help but...