I was so thankful I needed someone right now.
I needed someone to take away the pain; I needed someone to empty my heavy chest. I needed someone to comfort me; someone to tell that tomorrow everything is going to be okay.
My face was wet. I could feel tears were falling down my cheeks. My heart throbbed so painfully I was crying so hard and my chest was hurting then I started to lose my breath from sobbing. I just couldn't hold myself anymore it's like the bombs creeping in my heart had exploded.
This is too much.
I was so sick seeing him every time with a different girl, sick of waiting for him and sick of hanging on a stupid hope that one day he would feel something for me; that one day his heart would soften for me; that one day he would look at me with those oceanic eyes with love and passion.
For years, I had been secretly loving him not daring to tell him about what I feel for him. I tried but I couldn't; I didn't want to ruin whatever that we had.
For years I had so many different feelings that I really would like to express but I couldn't, I just buried them deep inside my heart.
Now, these feelings are killing me so slowly and burdening my heart.
When it'll all of this end? Why can't I move on? Why can't I just love someone else? Why always my heart beating only for him and not for someone else?
I am so tired, I am so sick of all this.
I want to end this painful, hopeless, and unbearable love...
What is the meaning of love if he does not feel the same for me?
I didn't know how long I had been crying until I felt someone was slightly tapping my back. I released from the embrace and took a step back and look at the girl who was standing in front of me.
The only girl who knows about my feeling for Jason.
Amanda is one of the most amazing girls I have ever met. She is very kind and caring. She is always there for me and she's a good listener she always ready to hear me.
With those beautiful dark brown eyes, She was sadly looking at me waiting for me to say something but when I didn't, she asked me worriedly.
"You okay now?
I didn't have the energy to talk so I just nodded. She then opened her bag and pulled out her makeup and started to apply it on my face to hide any trace of crying.
"You can't go to class looking like this." She said.
When she finished she took a step back and stared at my face to make sure she did it well.
She smiled and said, "Now you look good."
"Thank you." That was the only thing that I managed to say after a long silence.
"You want to talk about it?" she asked after few seconds,
"Not now maybe after school... We should head to class the period is about to start." I said looking at my watch on my wrist.
She sighed "okay after school then."
We headed to class. When we entered, we found Jenny and Ana had already taken their seats.
"Where were you, girls? You left without telling us." Ana said and shifted her eyes to me and asked me "Emma what happened? Were you crying?"
"No, I ..." I looked at Amanda for help.
She immediately answered "we went to the restroom because she was sick and she was throwing up.
Yesterday she ordered chicken and got poisoned.
She seriously needs to stop ordering fast food." She answered and it looked like they bought the lie.
I sent a glance to Amanda and mentally thanking her.
She is amazing.
"She's right you seriously need to stop ordering this type of food and why not thinking about having a diet." Jenny state,
And then, the topic turned to diets, and that how I should be careful about what I eat. I just keep nodding my head not having the mood to talk.
They kept talking until our English teacher entered the class and started the session.
After our periods were done. The bell rang and we walking out of class going through the hallway to the school's parking. The girls were talking and laughing about something and I wasn't engaged in their conversation because my mind was zoned out to Jason and his new girlfriend, Rebecca.
"So what do you think?" Anna asked, but I didn't hear what she was asking because my mind wasn't with them.
"Emma!" I jumped upon hearing my name out louder.
"What is wrong with you today? You seemed to be lost in your world the whole day." Jenny asked looking at me suspiciously,
"Sorry, I'm just not feeling well today. What were you asking me?" I asked trying to change the topic.
"There is a party next week we were thinking to take you with us you've never been to a party before and we start thinking you became to be a nerd," Jenny answered,
"Just because I am not Saturday-night-party kind of girl doesn't mean I am a nerd," I said defending myself,
"Emma please just go with us" she begged and continued, "let's have fun together and maybe you can get a boyfriend there. You're the only one who doesn't have one. " Anna stated,
"Do you see me complaining? I am completely happy alone.... and by the way, Jenny doesn't have one too she broke up with her boyfriend yesterday remember!" I reminded them,
"Well, I hate it to break it on you but she got a new one yesterday." She said laughing,
My mouth dropped open "what! How did it happen?" exclaimed still shocked.
Of course, she got one. Jenny changes her boyfriends like her skirts.
"Maybe if you were paying attention to our conversation you would know how but anyway Are you still in?" jenny asked again,
I took a minute to think about it when Amanda answered for me.
"She's going to the party and we're going to get her a boyfriend!"
I turned to Amanda stunned. I could see her determination in her eyes.
"YES! This is the first time we're going to party four of us. We're going to have so much fun." She said excitedly and hugged me.
I just sighed and shook my head not having the power to argue.
"Alright, the party will be Saturday next week. Now if you excuse me I have to go, my boyfriend is waiting for me he's going to drive me home. See you tomorrow" She said proudly, and then walk away.
"Wow, I can't believe she got a boyfriend so easily. How does even she doing it?" I questioned shaking my head and watching her walk away.
"It's not that hard and if you want to have one we can help you. You only need to ask." She said joking but I feel that she means it.
"Anna" someone called from behind and we all turned.
Jacob, Anna's boyfriend, called and made his way toward us. Jacob is a really good-looking guy. He's tall with dark skin.
"Hi girls how are doing?" he greeted us smiling.
"Hi Jacob" we greeted him back, "we're good thanks"
"He turned to Anna and kissed her cheek and asked her "ready to go?"
"Yes, alright see you tomorrow."
"Don't forget Emma you're going with us to the party."
"Okay. Bye Jacob" I wave him
Anna then hugged us and walked away with her boyfriend.
Amanda turned to me. "Let's go."
We went to her car that was parked in our school parking. We pulled inside the car I was putting on the seatbelt when I saw Amanda looking and pointed toward something. I followed where she was looking.
I saw Jason and Rebecca walking hand toward Jason's car holding hands. They were talking and laughing they were looking happy. They reached the car and Jason opened the door for her like a gentleman, gave her a long look as she slid into the passenger seat and reached for her safety belt, and closed the door. He then settled himself into the driver's seat and started the engine and drove away. I didn't realize I was watching them until the car disappeared.
I looked down my lap and released a deep sighed that I didn't realize I was holding.
I left my eyes toward Amanda she was looking at me sadly.
"No. I am not" I stated honestly
"Do you want to talk about it now?"
I released another sighed "What do you want to know more? You already know everything. He has a girlfriend now."
"Didn't he tell you about that before? I mean you both are close friends and he tells everything. I thought you already know. " she asked,
"Yesterday, He came to the cafeteria after you left and we talked."
"What did you two talk about what?" she asked curiously,
I started, "you know, we hadn't seen each other for weeks I thought he came to me because he missed me and wanted to spend some time with me but he only came to talk about Rebecca."
I said continuing, "He told me everything. He said he had a crush on her for a long time. I didn't about that this I thought I know everything about Jason but it turns out I know nothing. He also said he couldn't tell her about his feelings because he didn't want to ruin his friendship with her. Just exactly like me I also couldn't tell him about mine because I was afraid that I will lose him and thank God I didn't I would definably ruin our friendship.
You should see him when he was talking about her. He was lost, confused, and afraid. He didn't know what to do so he came to me to ask for help but what he doesn't know is that I am the one who needs help." I laughed bitterly. Tears started to make their way down my cheeks.
"And what did you tell him?"
"I was dumbfounded. I wished the ground would split and swallow me. I was so tired of all of this." I stopped for a moment and continued
"I told him to go to her and tell her about his feelings. I said that while my heart was cutting and burning inside. He then disappeared running to her and now they're dating I guess she feels something for him too."
I couldn't stop my tears. They were falling uncontrollably.
"I am so tired I want this to end I want to forget about him but I couldn't I tried but couldn't. These feelings are stronger than I thought and can't handle them anymore especially now that he has a girlfriend. How am I supposed to live with this? Why can't just move on?"
"Maybe because you need to try more." She said after a long silence.
"How? I tried but I couldn't."
"Trying is not just by convincing yourself that you should forget about him. You need to move on by giving chances to those boys who are interested in you and who are just waiting for one word from you. Give them chance. Go out with them, get to know them, and have fun. You still young you can't move on if you don't try"
To be honest, I've never given a chance to any of them and always reject them because I always thought I would have my chance with Jason. Guess I would never dream about it now since he has a real girlfriend.
"Burying yourself in hopeless childhood love will get you nowhere. Don't be harsh on yourself and give yourself a chance to be happy and to discover the world and that's why I'm taking you with us to the party this Saturday. I want you to see how kids are living their life I want you to see how they enjoyed their adolescence. This is a very substantial period in our life. It's meant to enjoy it and I want you to live and enjoy it as well. I don't want you to wait for the hope that one day he will feel the same for you that will only make you miserable and you will make lost half of your life. Giving up on this love is not the end of life but probably a new beginning of new love. You just need to give yourself a try and a chance for you to be happy. Okay? "
What she all said was right.
I looked at her for a long moment and then said smiling,
"I'm so lucky to have as a friend,"
She smirked and said, "Is that another way to say I am amazing?"
I laughed, "I think yes."
"Promise me you think about what I said."
"I will not think about it I have already taken my decision. You're right. Hell, I think it's time for me to live my life and give myself a chance. The only thing I will do for Jason is to continue to be his friend and be happy for happy. I am serious this time Amanda I'm going to forget about this love so don't have to worry anymore." I said.
She smiled at me and I sincerely smiled back at her.
"I am really happy to hear that."
I clapped both my hands and said with determination, "Alright, let's go to this damn party and begin a new start, from now on I will think only about myself."
"I like your determination..." she looked at me and she seemed impressed and continued "But we can't start with an empty stomach I'm starving."
"I know I can hear your stomach begging for food for miles," I said laughing. "You want to go to our usual place I am craving Pizza," I suggested,
She nodded " pizza it is but It's on me. consider it as a gift for your new beginning." She said smiling,
"I won't say no," I said laughing.
Amanda started the engine of her car and went straight to our pizzeria.
As we reach our favorite place, we walked in and took our place seats, and ordered our favorite Pizza. We were talking about random things when our order came and we started to dig in.
"I missed this pizza. I had been on a diet for months I think I deserve this pizza." Said moaning,
"Okay, you seriously need to lower your voice people will hear."
"Who cares? I should enjoy my pizza now because I will start another diet. You have a diet too" Said enjoying eating her pizza.
"No thanks I don't do diet I am completely happy with my body like you trying to impress somebody," I said teasing her.
"Speaking of which how's Thomas? The last time I saw him in a post on Facebook, he has changed a lot I think college life suits him."
She tensed at the mention of his name.
Thomas, Amanda's boyfriends, last year he went to college in London to carry on his study. They have been lovebirds for two years. "He said he's coming next week but I am not sure when exactly." She said not sounded exciting.
"That's cool... you guys finally are going to meet again.... but you don't look exciting. Did you guys fight?" I asked worried,
She suddenly lost her appetite and put her slice of pizza down.
She sighed "not really."
I frowned and asked curiously "then what's wrong? You don't look happy to see him."
"I am but does he?"
"I am sure he will be happy to see you why would ask something like that?" I asked with a frown,
"I don't know exactly he became so distant lately. He used to call me every day and we used to chat every night and when I didn't answer his calls or messages he would get mad at me but now he doesn't care anymore, moreover, he doesn't answer my call sometimes. He used to say he loves me every day and now I can't remember when the last time he said it. He changed and I can feel that. I think he doesn't love me as before."
She deeply sighed and look down at her hands.
She said continuing, "When he told and that he was going to London for college I was afraid when he would go there he would forget about me. I mean there are a lot of pretty girls in London what if he knows a girl there?" She asked worried flashed in her eyes.
"I don't know what to say but maybe he's just busy with college. I mean Thomas that I know he is madly in love with you and cares about you and he would never do anything to hurt you. There is no way he would cheat on you and I am sure there is a reason what he's not calling you. I am sure these thoughts are only in your head. Don't overthink. Okay?"
She sighed, "I hope what you've just said is all true."
"I am sure." Nodding my head.
As we were talking, All of a sudden I felt someone was staring at me for a while ago. I turned my head to the table next to us. A man was sitting at the table next to us. He was an old man probably in his late sixties. From his appearance, I think he is a rich man. He was wearing a blue fancy business suit. He has grey eyes and salt and pepper hair. I don't think I have met him before but he looked familiar.
"Hello young ladies" he greeted us with a smile.
"Hello, sir" Amanda turned her head to him and greeted him back.
"High school students?" he asked,
"Yes, sir" Amanda replied again with a smile.
"Senior year?" asked again.
"No. junior year." She politely answered.
Amanda kept talking to him but I didn't say a word I just kept looking at the old man examining him. There was something suspicious about him. He didn't seem the kind of man who would be having pizza here he looked like the kind of man who would go to a fancy restaurant and ordered a steak or maybe something fancy with a glass of red wine and having his meal while music jazz is on. I glanced over his table and he ordered a medium pizza and a glass of water. He had been sitting here for a while but he didn't touch his pizza which was weird.
"And what about you?" his question snapped out of my thought.
I left my eyes up to him and he looked at me waiting for my answer.
"What about me?" not having a clue what they were talking about.
"Your friend told me she wants to be a doctor after graduation from college. What about you?" He asked,
What's with all these questions?
"Why are you asking?" I gave a passive glare.
Amanda shot me a glare and hit me with her feet under the table and said under her breath. "Don't be rude he's just trying to have a small conversation."
He looked at me surprised and laughed, "Why not? I am just bored old man who's just trying to have a small talk."
I leaned back at my seat and crossed my arms on my cheats and said "I am sorry but I just find it weird that a bored old man like you decided to kill his boredom by just sitting here and having a small conversation with two teenagers. I am sure that old rich people like you, don't prefer to come here to have a pizza and talk with people they don't know when they get bored but instead, they mostly go to a fancy restaurant ordering a fancy meal, and having a conversation with other rich people like them."
He seemed dumbfounded I can see that on his face probably he didn't expect I would talk to him like. I know he is an old man and I should respect him but my intuition was telling me not to trust him.
I turned to Amanda I found her mouth wild opened from shock.
I turned back to him and I was surprised. I thought he would be fuming from anger because of the way I talk to him but he was looking impressed and was smirking at me.
"Rich people like pizza as well." He said smirking
I shook my head said with a smirk "I don't think so. You've been sitting here for a while but you haven't touched your pizza yet and it's probably not hot anymore."
He laughed "you're smart girl Emmalyn and I have to say I am proud of you. Your father raised well."
I was thunderstruck.
I don't recall telling him my name? Who is this old man? I glanced at Amanda and she seemed shocked too.
"How do you know my name?" I asked still stunned.
"I am your father's friend." He replied.
"No, you are not. My father doesn't have a lot of friends he only has one." I fired back shooting a glare.
"I am an old friend like his father. I know him before you were born," he said with a smirk staring at me not leaving my eyes.
Something about this man I didn't like behind this smirk, there was something I can feel that I should probably head home.
"Tell me, Emmalyn, are you going to be an architect like your father after graduation?" He asked,
I didn't answer him but instead, I got up from my chair grabbing my back and jacket. I don't want to talk to a stranger.
"I think we should go home. Let's go, Amanda"
Amanda hastily stood up and grabbed her things as well. I think she finally realized that something was wrong with this man. The old man did the same thing and immediately stood in front of me he probably didn't want me to go.
"Where are you going, Emmalyn? We haven't talk yet. Are you scare of me?" He said in a calm voice but behind its calmness was uncomfortable and I have to admit I started to get frightened.
What the hell was wrong with him? What does he want?
"I just..." I was about to answer him when my phone rang. I opened my back and pulled out my phone.
My father was calling.
"Oh, that's your father! Let me surprise him." He quickly snatched the phone from my hand without my permission. His unexpected move made me gasp and I looked at him in disbelieve.
"Hello, son how are you?" He greeting him.
Are they know each other?
"Hello ...?" He glanced back at the phone to make sure my father was on the line.
He spoke after seconds "Don't worry your daughter is here with me we were having pizza together."
I looked at him in disbelieve "together?"
"I have to admit you raised her very well. I am proud of my son. I have to say that I like her she exactly like one of Campbell's. She's beautiful, strong, and smart ... she's kind of rude but we can deal with that." He said with a devilish smirk that while he was looking into my eyes.
This man started to scare me. I could feel the hair on the back of my neck stood. We should go home this man is not normal.
"You know exactly what I want James as I said this morning I'll give time and space to think about that but you know me I'm not a patient man son," he told him with a serious and scary tone.
Why does it sound like he is threatening my father?
"Don't worry about her I'll make sure to send her home safely..." he paused for a moment and then said, "just for now." And then he hung on him and handed me my phone. "Go home Emmalyn your father is worried about you. I paid for your pizza so just go home." He ordered with a serious face not smirking anymore,
His serious face was really scary this man is probably crazy.
We turned to leave and walked away for him we were about to exit the place when he called my name.
I tensed and turned to him and saw him walking toward us and stand right in front of us.
"See you soon." He promised with a smile again.
"I don't think so, stay away from my family," I said and I mean it
His facial expressions changed again from smiling to seriousness.
He raised his hand making me jump I thought he was going to hit me but the next move surprised me he rested his hand on my head and caressed my hair,
"It's not like you have a choice. Now go home." He ordered. What does he mean?
Amanda then took my hand taking me out. We made our way to where Amanda parked her car.
Who the hell is he?
"OMG who is this man? He's really scary" asked me as if she read my mind.
"I have no idea but this old man is not my father's friend."
We reached the car and got inside and drove away home. When we reached my house I saw Jason's car in front of my house.
"Isn't this Jason's car?" Amanda asked.
"Yes, it is," I answered with a frown wondering why is here.
"Why is he here?" She asked with annoyance.
"I don't know... see you tomorrow," I replied.
I freed myself from the seatbelt and opened the door to pull out. I felt a hand grabbed my arm and turn to Amanda "don't forget about what we talk about earlier. Okay?"
"Don't worry I was serious about what I said earlier." I smiled at her to ensure her that I was okay and pull out the car. I shot the door and I waved goodbye to her and she returned it with a smile. I watched her started the engine and drove away. I turned toward Jason's car I wondered why he is here he hadn't been here for a while and now when I decided to move on and tried to forget my love for him he suddenly decided to show up at my house. I release a heavy sighing. That won't be easy but I'll not give up I promised Amanda.
I walked toward my house door and opened it with my keys. I closed the door and made my way inside the house.
"Emma!" I heard my mom calling me.
"Emma thank god you're finally home." She walked over to me and hugged me so tightly surprising me. I looked over her shoulder I saw dad and Jason were making their way toward me as well. They looked frightened like didn't expect I would make it home alive.
"What's going on?" I asked over my mother's shoulder. She took a step back, looked into my eyes, and caressed my head she sounded like she had been crying. I look
"Did he do something to you?" she asked,
"Who are you talking about?" I asked confused,
My father asked, "The man who you were with." He looked at me examining my face like he was making sure I was okay.
I glanced behind mom and dad. Jason was standing looking worried as well. I turned my eyes back to mom and dad they looked concerned as if they thought that the old man would do something to me.
I ignored mom's question and asked again, "can somebody tell me what's going on? Is that old my man is dangerous?"
"Answer us first! Did he do something to you? What did he tell you? And why the hell were you doing with someone you don't know!" He shouted at me; the worry was all over his face.
I jumped upon his shouting and I could feel my eyes getting wet. I didn't expect him he'd shout at me like that. My father had never raised his voice at me or be mad at me like that.
Was it because of that man? Weren't they friends or he did just lie to me?
"Don't scare the girl!" my mother yelled and turned to me,
She grabbed both of my arms and turned me back to her again
"Please Emma just tell us why did you go with him? Did he force you to go with him?" she asked softly like a little kid.
"No, I wasn't with him I was with Amanda. We went to the pizzeria and we met him there. He was sitting next to our table and was trying to talk to us. He asked us questions. He was nice but I didn't trust there was something about that man. He said that he is your old friend and he wanted to get to know me..." I was still talking when my father cut me off and asked curiously, "what did he ask you?"
"Nothing really, he asked me about my study and my career after graduation," I answered,
"then Why did you let him answer your phone when I called?" he asked looking into my eyes making sure if I was telling the truth it was as if I was at an investigation at the police station.
What was all with these questions?
"I didn't... he snapped the phone from my hand and when he ended the call he told me to go home... He also said something weird" I frowned remembering how weird and scary he was.
"What did he say?" my father hastily asked,
"He told me that we would meet soon but when told him to stay away from us he said that I don't have a choice."
"How dare he come near my family!" he yelled fuming.
"What did he mean by that and who's that old man?" I asked him I was curious I wanted to know. I have the right to know what's going on.
"Did he said something else?" he ignored my question.
"No, who's he? Why..." I was asking again when he cut off me.
He put his hands on my shoulders and turned me to him he looked into my eyes, "listen to me from now on, I want you to stay away from him. I don't want you to see him or talk to him and if he tries to come near you call me immediately. Do you hear me?"
I hastily nodded my head.
"Go to your room Emma you must be tired."
"I am not tired just tell me. Who is that man and why I should stay away from him? Is he a dangerous man?" I asked stubbornly. I know that man got him angry and it's not the right time to ask but my curiosity took the best of me. I want to know for my sanity and he wasn't going to tell me I can see that. What does he hide in us? Why didn't he want to tell me who's that man?
He made his way toward his study room and I followed him.
"Emma listen to your dad and go to your room," Mom spoke
"Why's no one want to tell me what's going on? Should I go and ask that man personally" I asked losing my patience. As the moment the words flow out of my mouth I regretted them cursing my damn curiosity. Why shouldn't I go to my room and wait until tomorrow? I shouldn't push him more.
Upon hearing me, he stood still in his spot for seconds and he turned and made his way over me fuming. He grabbed both of my arms making looking at him. I gasped and I could feel my eyes getting wet.
"Honey!" I heard my calling him.
From his face's expression, I knew I pissed him off I could see that.
"Don't make me do something I will regret later Emma. Go. To. Your. Room." he then released my arms and made his way to his room again. I looked at him shocked. This man is not my father.
My father would never yell at me; he would never grab my arms like this. He would never talk to me like that and this was all because of that old man. I didn't deserve that. I only wanted to know who is he; did I ask too much?
"Jason can you please take to her room please!" I heard my mom asking Jason then followed my dad.
I suddenly felt tears fell on my cheeks.
"Come, Emma" Jason spoke softly. I was still looking in the direction where my father left for his study room I felt Jason's hand wrapped mine and take me to my room. When we reached we walked in and he closed the door he turned to me and hugged me so tightly.
He surprised me.
he hadn't hugged for a while and honestly, I missed his hugs and his scent. I close my eyes and started smelling him. His smell would drive any girl crazy.
He freed himself from the embrace, hold my face with both of my hands. He then wiped my tears with his fingers and stared into my eyes.
"You got me so worried I thought that man did something bad to you."
Are you enjoying my ongoing story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, MariamWrite a Review