A tear fell down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away, I wasn’t even sure why I was crying. I consented to that, when I wanted him to stop he stopped immediately. But it still hurt. It hurt he treated me in that way, treated me like all of the other girls he had been with in the past and he didn’t bother to explain to me why. He just left.
I wiped away another tear and another, taking a deep breath and lowering my skirt more before walking into the diner with my hands on my ass to make sure everything was covered. I felt extremely self conscious.
When I reached our table everyone was sitting tucking into their food and laughing at some dumb joke. I slipped into my seat very slowly, making sure my hands kept the floaty material of my skirt down.
“What happened? What’s he done? You’ve been crying?” Tia started a witch hunt almost immediately and everyone turned their attention to me, assessing my face for themselves.
“Nothing. It’s fine.” I lied. I kept my eyes locked onto the untouched breakfast plate in front of me, I suddenly didn’t have an appetite.
“Did he hurt you?” She interrogated again.
“Tia.” Jordan warned.
“Don’t fucking Tia me, if he’s hurt you again Liv I swear to God.” I was under the microscope of twelve different eyes. They waited for an answer, an explanation. Half of them confused, half of them ready to defend and one of them ready for battle.
“Again?” Lola asked.
I sighed, managing to swallow down the hurt I felt inside and looked up at Tia directly. Her beautiful dark eyes looked angry and I could feel the heat of her vexation dispelling from her in powerful waves.
“Tia would you just leave it? I said I was fine. Liam didn’t hurt me, we talked and then he just left. Now excuse me, I need to use the restroom.” I stood up and left the table without waiting for her to reply, I think she could sense my irritable tone.
I locked myself inside a cubicle and threw my head into my hands, breathing in and out to calm myself, except the tears came long before the calm. A knock on the door made me growl.
“Fuck sake Tia will you just leave me alone, I’m fine.” I shouted in frustration.
“It’s me.” I stood up, wiped my cheeks and then unlocked the door, stepping out of the blue cubical.
“What happened?” Jordan asked me, analyzing every square inch of my tear stained face.
“Nothing.” I tried to act casual, washing my hands at the sinks but the whole time I was conscious that he was standing behind me and I was wearing no underwear. It took every ounce of my strength not to pull my skirt down lower, again.
“I’m going to ask again and I want you to answer me honestly this time, what happened Olive?” His tone was full of authority, like a teacher trying to get information from a naughty student.
“Nothing.” I said again, turning off the running water and flicking my hands out over the basin to rid any excess water.
He grabbed my wrist and turned my body to face him, my free hand darted down to my skirt, keeping my modesty in place.
“Jordan!” I exclaimed.
“Something obviously happened. You’re crying and Liam is gone. Now I know it’s none of my business but if Liam is in trouble then we gotta go find him right now. When he gets like this it’s hard to bring him back. He could really hurt someone... or himself.” I could see the fear in his eyes, he really believed Liam would hurt himself and now so did I.
“I’m not going to tell the others, I won’t even tell Liam you told me, I’m not going to judge you and I certainly wouldn’t judge Liam but I do need to know. So I’ll ask you again, what happened?”
The tears started falling again, accompanied by sobs and ugly cries. Jordan stood there looking like he felt a little awkward, not knowing how to comfort a crying girl and I don’t blame him. Eventually he handed me some toilet tissue and patted my back lightly.
“I... he... we...”
I struggled to compose my words. I don’t even know what I wanted to say or how I wanted to say it. Jordan spent most of my high school life calling me a prude and a virgin, now I needed to explain to him that I’m crying because Liam didn’t give me foreplay, sweet talk and cuddles.
“He ... took...” I sobbed through my words and Jordan listened, watching my mouth as I spoke to try to strengthen his understanding. “My... underwear.”
It wasn’t what I originally planned to say and Jordan stepped back with a mega confused expression.
“He took your underwear?” he repeated slowly, making sure he heard correctly. I nodded. “What?” He asked.
“He wanted to... I didn’t... but we did anyway... and then he left.” I cried harder, using the toilet tissue to capture my falling tears.
“What are you trying to say Olive? Liam wouldn’t-”
“No... he didn't, I said yes.” I interrupted his wayward thoughts immediately. He placed his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eye.
“Calm down. Take a deep breath. Tell me exactly what happened.”
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath or two. When I opened them again I was ready to talk.
“Something was wrong with him. I have never seen him like that. He asked if we could ... you know... and I agreed. But his face, it was so distant like he wasn’t even present. He was just a shell of himself, taking what he needed. In that moment he didn’t love me, he didn’t even care for me. He was lost, broken and incapable of feeling any other emotion besides complete and utter darkness.”
Jordan started pacing the room, running his hand through his bouncy curls. I watched with sniffles.
“This is really bad.” He repeated a few times. He reached into his jeans pocket and handed me his phone. “Here, keep calling him. I’ll be back in a minute, stay here.” Jordan left and I looked down at his phone. Timidly I found Liam in his contacts and tried to call. It rang and rang and rang before going to voicemail. I tried Liams phone four times before Jordan came back and handed me a pair of his track suit bottoms. I looked at them strangely.
“They were in my car.” He told me and I offered him a sweet, thankful smile. I slipped them on right away, they were absolutely huge on me. Too long in the legs and waist but I couldn’t have been more grateful for them. I could see Jordan getting more and more frustrated with every missed phone call Liam refused to answer.
“You know he wouldn’t do that without good reason, right?” I nodded shyly. “No seriously, he thinks the world of you. The other girls he doesn’t respect, he never has. He doesn’t have time for them and doesn’t care if he hurts their feelings. But you’ve always been different to him. I think he has always loved you, always cared about you. Even when he didn’t really know you.”
“I know.” I admitted.
“That’s why I think there’s something seriously bothering him right now. He wouldn’t flip out like this, not at your expense. We need to find him.”