His blue eyes were crystal clear, I could see into them like I was looking into the depths of an ocean on a summers day. He was weighing up my offer, needing to know I was sure.
“Here?” He spoke slowly, flicking his eyes around our surroundings.
Liam has learnt to open up and let people in, he’s got really good at not flinching at unexpected touch and he seems a little more in control of his emotions lately. But intimacy? That’s a challenge he still struggles with. We’ve only ever been intimate once, we’ve come close many times after that but then he stops not feeling strong enough to continue.
We’re taking our relationship at his pace. We’ll do things when he feels ready, no pressure. But honestly, it’s frustrating as hell. My body is continuously wound up and left wanting. I’m ready to eliminate the intimacy just to sate these inner feelings.
I stepped closer, bringing my arms around his neck so that our bodies were touching. Easing him into this idea.
“This is the only way you can do it easily, right?” I asked carefully.
Liams breathing quickened and his eyes paled in colour, delicately blue like a thin shard of tinted glass. I could’t decipher what he was feeling, I think there was a mix of emotions there. Ones he had trouble expressing.
He looked around at the room and I admit it wasn’t the best scenario, I tried not to look at it myself but I could hear the clanking sounds from the old pipes and a drip from a nearby sink that just wouldn’t give up. I wondered if we would do this inside a bathroom stall, I’d rather we didn’t because they weren’t the best cleaned public toilets, half of them didn’t have a working flush.
I wanted him to stop looking around, the place was a dump, we both knew that but I wanted him. His eyes found mine again, the blue brighter now and I got nervous flutters inside me while I waited for his answer. In an attempt to sway his mind further I lowered my lips onto his, willing him to kiss me deeper but he didn’t. “No, not here. Liv you’re better than that.” He told me.
His words stung. I was disappointed. I pulled away, stepping back out of his reach. I wanted to counter argue. To tell him I wasn’t a delicate little flower that needed to be treated like a princess but I didn’t want to add pressure to him. So instead I was left wet and wanting once again.
“Come on.” He grabbed my hand and walked me towards the door, my feet dragged somewhere behind me desperately hoping he would have a change of heart. “I want to dance with the sexiest women in the room and show everyone that you’re mine.” He said as he pulled on the handle.
“Won’t that cause problems between you and Luke?” I asked.
Liam shot a glance at me like my question was complete stupidity and maybe it was but right now I was thinking of nothing more than the distracting heavy ache coming from between my legs.
“I don’t care.” He said harshly.
We found our spot on the dance floor, Liam making sure Luke had the perfect view. His whole team didn’t look happy and I worried about the consequences Liam would have to face because of me. He’s been through enough without other people giving him a hard time as well. I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy his hands all over me though, grinding my body against his seductively. Laughing with him like the world was weightless because we were both here, together.
“Fuck, keep doing that and I’m gonna be in trouble.” Liam moaned down my ear, referring to me intentionally rubbing his swollen crotch area with my ass. An enormous smile grew on my lips but I didn’t stop the action.
“Come back to my dorm with me.” He said as I lay my head in the crook of his neck. “My roommate is out and it’s Saturday tomorrow so no classes.” I agreed to it instantly.
The campus of Stanford was much nicer than mine, it was clear the college was built with more financial support. He led me through the corridors and as we passed people they greeted Liam personally, even in college he was popular. He opened the door to his dorm room and I took a lingering look around.
Two pine beds sat parallel to each other, each with different bedding. His jersey hung proudly above it except it wasn’t plain red anymore it was now red with black stripes. He had a bedside table with an art sketch pad resting on top and I picked it up straight away curious as to what was inside.
“Uh, that’s not for you.” He said quickly as he snatched the sketch pad out of my hands and pushed it under his bed out of sight.
“Really?” I questioned sarcastically. “After everything I know about you, you’re shy about a few drawings?” I asked with an amused smile.
“Mhm.” He mumbled with a secretive smile. It made me want to look in the sketch pad even more.
Over his roommates bed was posters of different soccer players and I eyed them up curiously.
“Your roommate plays soccer as well?” I asked.
His eyes followed mine to the posters.
“Yeah.” He rubbed the back of his neck and my brow furrowed at him with perplexity. “This whole dorm block plays soccer.” He informed me, I nodded my head and took a seat on his bed.
He pulled out his phone and scrolled his thumb over the screen, it took me a few seconds before I realized he was making a call. I flicked my shoes off and observed him curiously.
“Hey, it’s me. What time you gonna be back tomorrow?”
He fiddled with the volume switches on the side of his cell and my ears pricked up but I couldn’t hear the other person at all.
“Good. What time does your soccer practice finish?”
“I’ve got company.”
“Yeah. See you later.”
He ended the call and placed his phone on the bedside table, flicked his shoes off and lay down on the bed beside me. I waited for him to fill me in on the phone call he just had but he didn’t bother so I decided to pry.
“So am I going to meet your roommate tomorrow?”
“Nah, Reece has soccer practice till three.” He lay up resting on his elbow so he was facing me fully.
“And you don’t?” I could feel the frown of my brow as I questioned him.
“I’m not on the same team.” He simply said.
“Oh.” I replied. “I didn’t know Stanford had more than one team.” I shrugged my shoulders and lay down beside him cuddling into his chest at his request.
It felt familiar and in that moment I didn’t realize how much I had missed falling asleep in his arms. The comforting smell of oud wood and fresh vanilla, the soothing rise and fall of his chest and the fluttering sound of his heart reminded me of how much I loved this. Knowing he was safe from all harm, miles away from home, from Jax. It filled me with a warm fuzzy feeling that coated my heart like a big hug.
“I love you.” I muttered sleepily into his chest.
He planted a soft kiss on the top of my head as his fingers smoothed out my hair over and over again like he was soothing a small child to sleep.
“I love you too.” He whispered back.