His mom almost died and he’s eating Cheetos in the waiting room like he’s chilling in the cafeteria. I guess that is what happens after years of neglect, you have no sympathy for them in their time of need.
I hated his mom for allowing everything that he went through. She was supposed to protect him and love him but instead she failed him. I guess in the bedroom human nature took over and he couldn’t just do nothing while she bled out on the floor. But if I was faced with that choice I don’t think I would’ve even attempted to save her.
Darkness had fallen behind the window and my eyes felt heavy, we had been sitting in the same position for hours. Watching people come and go without hearing any news ourselves. It was tedious and I wasn’t entirely sure why we were staying here for her but Liam wanted to so I stayed with him. I lay my head on his shoulder and snuggled into his arm, closing my eyes for only a second.
“Liv.” Liam nudged me and I sat up, blinking in the sunlight. How long was I asleep? Liam stood up and walked towards the doctor and I sat awkwardly on the chair, flattening my hair down and rubbing my eyes to appear a little more awake.
“Your moms in recovery, she lost a lot of blood. It’s lucky you found her when you did. The stab wound just missed her major organs and thankfully she doesn’t have any major internal damage. She’s been stitched up and had a few blood transfusions. She is awake but a little delirious thanks to the drugs. She’s asking for you though.”
“She’s asking for me?” Liam questioned with complete shock lacing his voice, his tone was very high pitched.
“Yes, you’re her son Liam?” The doctor furrowed his brows in confusion and then glanced down at his chart to double check his notes. Liam nodded his head, still in disbelief. “Room five down that corridor.” He pointed the way and then walked off.
Liam stood staring at the corridor like it was going give him the answers he seeked. I came up behind him and rested my hand on his shoulder to comfort him but he jumped forward as soon as he felt my touch.
“Fuck.” He complained loudly and rubbed the back of his neck with irritation.
“Sorry.” I said quietly.
“It’s not you Liv, it’s me. It’s always fucking me. It makes me so mad that I react like this, it’s being back here in this shithole, it’s putting me on edge.”
He looked back towards the corridor, willing himself to go down it. I knew he wanted to, he needed to see his mom and find out if he was now worthy of love and care from her after saving her life. It was clear now, he was still fighting to be accepted by her, that’s why he helped her.
“Come with me Liv.” Liam said quietly.
“Oh... uh... I would feel like I’m intruding.” I said honestly.
Liam turned around to face me, as soon as his silver eyes found mine he frowned.
“You’re my life Liv, she’s the one intruding.” He grabbed hold of my hand, sending shoots of electricity coursing though my veins “Come with me.” He repeated.
He led me down the corridor and my footsteps felt heavy against the floor. I already felt awkward and I wasn’t even in the room yet. We got to the door that had five written on in a bold font and Liam gave me one last lingering look as he built up the courage to step inside.
“Mom?” Liam said, without letting go of my hand.
Liams mom looked frail and small underneath the blankets, she had a few wires attached to her in different places and a drip trailing from her arm. She appeared different from the last time we met but maybe that was because the circumstances were worlds apart. Her eyes flicked up and down my body, her eyes were similar to Liams in the way she expressed herself but they were not as vibrant and as beautiful as his.
“Could you give me a minute alone with my son?” Her voice came out pained, raspy and tired but there was no malice to it. Liams grip tightened on my hand, letting me know I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Anything you want to say to me you can say it in front of Olivia.” Liams voice was harsh, it made me double take at him. He was cold and distant. And the sapphire rings of his eyes had pulled out all of the emotion, leaving nothing but a bottomless pit of bleak darkness.
His mom smiled weakly, looking at her so vulnerable in the hospital bed almost made me feel sorry for her. Almost. The fact that she shared facial expressions the same as the man I loved didn’t help. But I reminded myself of everything she put Liam through and that solidified how much I hated her.
“Liam, I just want to say that I’m sorry.” She pulled her eyes away from his and her cheeks flushed with colour. The blush was more obvious in her face because she looked very pale thanks to her blood loss but in that moment she couldn’t have looked anymore like Liam.
His hand started squeezing tighter, crushing my fingers but I didn’t say anything and I don’t even think he realized he was doing it.
“That’s it?” Liam sounded inauspicious, it was intimidating and even I started worrying for his mom. I haven’t seen Liam be this way in a long time, I almost forgot he ever was this way and to think I used to be on the receiving end of this mood swing. I wondered how we ever got passed it.
“Years of abuse and neglect and all you’ve got to say for yourself is sorry?” Liam spat his words out with disgust and his mom hung her head lower.
“You’ve been gone for months and Jax hasn’t been treating me well. It made me realize all this time that you’ve been preventing it from happening to me. You took all of that for me. I’m supposed to protect you, I’m your mother but I put my addiction first. I needed the drugs more than I needed you and now I regret that. I’m so sorry Liam.” Frantically she swiped away heavy tears that continued to slide down her cheeks. Loud sobs fell from her broken chest and she curled over in her bed just crying into the silence.
Liam was cutting off all of the circulation into my hand, his grip was deathly tight and it was beginning to become all that I could think about.
“I don’t forgive you.” Liam said cruelly.
“I know. I don’t forgive me either, I just need you to know that I am sorry and I am going to try better to get off the drugs and get away from Jax. I love you son.” His mom sniffed.
He stood completely still, staring at his mom with a deathly glare. His stance alone dropped the temperature of the room into the minus. His erratic breathing was all I could hear and the crushing of my fingers was all I could feel.
“Liam?” I whispered sheepishly.
“What!” Liam shouted, it made my shoulders jump and my heart race. His eyes softened the second he realized he just raised his voice to me and a tidal wave of instant regret washed over him.
“My hand.” I said quietly. He widened his eyes and he loosened his grip but he didn’t let me go completely so I couldn’t flex away the tingling.
“I’m glad you found someone that makes you happy. I’m proud of you son.” Through muted cries his mom tried another smile. It was one of those smiles that Liam used to do all of the time, the reassuring kind. When he was feeling completely defeated and broken but doesn’t want to let it show on the outside so he gives a little smile that anyone else would buy.
“Feel better soon mom.” Liam said impassively.
Then he turned and walked to the door, pulling me beside him and leaving his mom broken hearted, rejected and alone just like he was for all of those years.