Cross To Bear (Book 1)

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|18| Temptations Pt 2

Amari POV

The need, the desire to feel the love from a family member is one I always crave for. Growing up without a mother or father’s love was one that hurt to the point that sometimes I desired not to be born. My mother left me when I was born. Killing herself, knowing that they cursed me just because my father made a mistake.

I once asked him why he blamed me. Why he took his anger in me, and his only answer was, you remind me of her, and it’s your fault. That was his only answer. I never pry and never asked. My sister Celine hated me because she said my mother died because of me. But was it my fault?

Once Mayah told me not to feel sad because my father hated me. But how could I not when he saw me as trash? As someone who has done nothing to him but wants love from him. I asked myself several times what was the mistake my father made. What made him betray a witch who is powerful and feared. Did my father have a relationship with her? Did he break a promise? What exactly did he do?

I stared outside the window. Birds flying in small groups as gray clouds move towards us. It seems terrible weather was coming and one that would last.

Tiredly, I sigh. I wanted to sleep, but I couldn’t. For the last two days, I could not sleep at all. My mind was a complete mess, and my heart was in chaos. Lilith asked me if I wanted to be put to sleep by Devika, but I rejected the offer. I didn’t need that. All I needed was to figure out what was happening in my life. Lorcan said not to stress out, but I felt overwhelmed.

Sighing, I lean back on the window glass. I watch the people working down. Taking a peek, I see I still have an hour left before my lessons with Azriel start.

After the slight incident, Azriel has been behaving strangely. Lilith said not to worry; he was only shy. But he looked embarrassed if I could call it that.

“Amari?” Lorcan said as he knocked on the door. Letting him in, I see him carrying a small box in his hand. “You look tired, Amari. Why not get some sleep?”

“No, I’m fine,” I sighed. I swear I was going to die of sighing too much.

Taking a seat on the floor, Lorcan opened the small box. A sweet smell raised to my nostrils. Were those cookies?

Lorcan chuckled as he saw my reaction. I was drooling.

“Care to join me for some cookies?” Lorcan asked. I raised my eyebrow and nodded. Handing me the box, I stare at the different flavor cookies. Drooling, I pick an oatmeal one and start eating quietly.

“I have news, Amari,” Lorcan said.

“About?” I asked, munching down my cookie.

“There’s going to be an important ball happening,” Lorcan said, making me stop eating. He looked at me worriedly, “I thought it would be, you know, a good idea to introduce you. The Ball is important, and you can’t miss it.”

“May I ask you which ball is it?” I asked, gulping my cookie. I had a feeling I would not like this.

“The Barbaria Ball,” Lorcan said, waiting for my reaction.

The Barbaria Ball was an event held by witches. It was not only a one-night party but a three-night event held on the witches’ empire. The Ball was for royals to gather and negotiate things. It also had activities such as competitions and auctions. You could find anything there. Women, men, supernaturals, poison, antiques, books. Anything of your liking. And they held it once every four years.

I knew my sister and family members assisted, but I never did. One because I didn’t want to, and second, my father said I should never step foot on their territory.

“Amari, did you listen to me?” Lorcan called.

I look at his gray eyes. I smiled and nodded. “I know you’re not fond of witches, but Amari, I think it would be a good idea for you to come with us. Not only can we have others know you, but we can have a witch with the gift of seeing the past know who your mother was.”

Nodding, I go back to eating. I heard everything he said, and I knew why he asked me. But did I want to go?

“Amari?” Lorcan said, gripping my hand. The small reassuring squeeze made me just smile weakly. “Look, Devika will come and explain more. But I need an answer from you.”

Looking away, my eyes stop on time. I jump from my seat as I notice I’m late for Azriel’s seduction class.

“Shit!” I curse, running out, “I will give you my answer later!” I yelled down the hall.

Knocking on the door, I hear Azriel say to come in. I look down at my arm. Did I forget to leave the cookie box? Shrugging it off, I walk in and close the door.

“Hi,” I murmur, looking through the cookies. Distracted by them, I bump into something. “Huh?” I said, lifting my head and meeting Azriel’s chest.

“You look tired,” Azriel said, lifting his eyebrow.

“Do I look tired?” I asked, annoyed by their remark.

“Yes, why don’t you rest?” Azriel asked.

“No, thank you. Now can we start?” I said, walking up to his bed. Taking my shoes off, I crawl up to his bed and sit. I glued my eyes on the delicious cookies. Feeling the bed move, I munch into a cookie and lift my head. Azriel was kneeling with his face close to mine.

“Lorcan, right?” Azriel asked.

“Yes?” I said with my mouth half full. Nodding, he moved his head closer to my hand, where I held a cookie. Biting it, I see him in shock. “That’s my cookie!” I retorted.

Laughing, Azriel munches half of the cookie he took.

“They’re Lorcan’s,” Azriel said as he crossed his legs, “Now, let’s begin. I know I talked about our anatomy, but now I need to know if you read that book I gave you.”

Hearing him say that, I blush. Azriel had given me two books about sex positions. I remember when he gave me those a week ago. My mouth almost drops by seeing the strange situations. Azriel explains it was normal but, it was too much for my mind.

“Amari?” Azriel snap.

“Yes?” I said, embarrassed. I could see a smile spreading on his face.

“Did you read the entire book?” Azriel asked as my face turned hot. Of course, I did. That had my mind in jumbles. Just remembering made my pussy throb. “Answer me, Amari.”

“Yes,” I mumble, looking down at my hand.

“Good, now let’s practice it,” Azriel said.

“Excuse me?” I jump, grabbing his shirt, “Y-You want to practice?”

“Yes?” Azriel frown, “Why are you so flustered?”

“Why? B-because you know,” I mutter, biting my lip.

“Amari, like I said before. I’m not attracted to you. And I won’t put you at risk. Yes, I can fuck you, but nothing else. Also, remember I can’t kiss you, and don’t you dare kiss me,” Azriel said, getting up. “Only my mate can kiss me.”

“But Azriel!” I argue back. Glaring at me, I stop and nod.

“Go get changed. Theirs a dress for you in the bathroom,” Azriel order.

“A dress?” I asked.

“Yes, Lilith left it. Now hurry,” Azriel said as he undresses. I cringe and get off the bed. Stumping my feet, I shut the bathroom door.


“You ready?” Azriel knocked for the third time.

“I can’t go out like this,” I mutter as my eyes stay on my reflection in the mirror. How in the world was I planning to go out in a see-through lace nightgown? It didn’t cover my body at all. If it were only short, it would be fine, but this was too revealing.

“I’m coming in!” Azriel said as he opens the doors and looked at me. I grip the nightgown as his eyes move up and down. A slight blush spread on his face as he looks away. “Hurry.”

Turning away, he walks back out. Groaning, I walk behind him.

“Get in bed, Amari,” Azriel said, covering his mouth. He wasn’t even looking at me.

Groaning, I crawl up. Kneeling in the middle of the bed, I huff.

“Now what?” I said as Azriel looks at me. Eyes wide, he gulps. What was his problem? Has he never seen a woman dress like this?

“Oh, you look lovely!” a cheerful voice said. Lilith walks into the room with a tray. “Oh, brother!” she said, squealing.

“Lilith?” I said.

Setting the tray down, she walked up to the bed and held my hands on hers.

“You look adorable. Good idea doing those pigtails,” Lilith said smiling, “Now I see why my brother is so flustered. I should call Alastair. He would be flustered like crazy.”

“What, no!” I yelled, “Don’t it’s enough with Azriel seeing me like this.”

“Oh, come on, Amari!” Lilith begged.

“No,” I chided. Lilith crossed her arms and sighed.

“Fine, but you will have to dress like that again,” Lilith smiled, “Not for me, though.”

Frowning, I look at her, confused.

“Here’s some tea for both of you. Have fun,” Lilith said, closing the bedroom doors. Leaving me speechless, I gaze at Azriel. His hand was over his mouth as he stares at me. Our eyes interlock. Clearing his throat, he walks up to bed. My eyes immediately move to his bared chest.

Tone chest and abs made me gulp hard. He was tall but with a good body. I like he had abs and well defined. A small hair trail formed down near the hem of his pants. His hair was loose today, and his dark eyes looked at me.

Crawling over the enormous bed, he stops before me.

“Tell me, did King Maximus ever touch you?” Azriel asked.

I blush at his question immediately.

“Oh,” Azriel said, surprise, “Didn’t expect that answer.”

“Shut up!” I snap embarrassedly.

“Now, did you guys have sex?” Azriel asked yet another embarrassing question.

“NO!” I yelled at him by surprise, “I… I’m a virgin,” I mutter the last words.

“You are?” Azriel asked, “I thought you were just shy and sort of inexperienced, but a virgin?”

“Yes, is there a problem?” I asked, groaning.

“No,” Azriel said, grabbing one of my pigtails, “But we seekers love virgins,” he murmured.

“Love?” I said, putting my hands on my side.

“Yes, you see. If we fuck a virgin, our hunger for blood gets sedated,” Azriel explained as his eyes move to my hair, “And having you here is quite tempting. Now that I know you’re a virgin.”

I was speechless as I watched him. Was he serious right now?

“Anyway, going back to our class. How about we do some exercise?” Azriel said as he pushed me down, straddling me immediately.

His face looked red. And seeing him like that was making my heart beat like crazy. None of the other brothers made me feel so nervous, like Azriel. His presence was overwhelming yet desirable in a good way.

Holding my waist, he suddenly turns me over. Now I was straddling him. His long black hair sprawled around his face as I put my hand over his chest. I am balancing my small body over his, moving my eyes down to my hands. I become curious.

Sliding one finger down his chest, I curiously reach his pants where the small trail of hair formed. I felt my face hot as I slowly made circles. Azriel inhales sharply. I move my eyes up to see his red face. Biting my lip, I keep my eyes on him. Azriel was staring back at me. Something dark crosses his face as his black eyes stare at my blue ones.

Grabbing my wrist, Azriel suddenly sits up. I yelp in surprise as one of his arms circles my waist, and the other is held high.

Pulling me towards his chest, I gasp. Licking my dried lips, I look at him. I could feel something under my legs.

“You know those freckles look nice on you. Especially when your face turns red, it makes you look innocent,” Azriel murmur close to my face. I could feel his breathing as I close my eyes. He was doing something to me.

“Azriel,” I breathe as a shiver runs up my body. I was opening my eyes, panting. Azriel leans over and kisses my neck. I bite my lip.

“You know if you don’t push a man away, he won’t stop?” Azriel said between kisses. “So stop me, Amari.”

I couldn’t think straight. Azriel’s kisses had me panting. Letting go of my wrist, he moved his hands to my waist slowly; he reached under my small nightgown and started caressing my thighs.

“Stop me, Amari, or I will take it as you want me to fuck you,” Azriel hissed.

“W-What should I do?” I asked desperately.

“You decide, would you let a man make you his submissive, or will you make him the submissive? You’re a woman Amari, and a woman can control a man’s mind. You can make him bend to your will, but it’s up to you,” Azriel whispered near my ear while biting on my earlobe, “So?”

Feeling too weak against him, I gave up. I couldn’t do it. It was just when I was with Maximus. He kisses me, and he made me feel something for him. He made my body burn in desire for him. His hands and his lips felt like a refreshing wave of air on my skin. But would I let him do it again?

Thinking on Maximus had my mood take a turn. I put my hands on Azriel’s chest and stopped him.

Pushing him down, I hover over his body. The feeling I was having over Azriel’s kisses was gone. Maximus was on my mind.

“Fine, you want me too? I will then,” I said as I put my finger on Azriel’s lips, and leaning down, I whisper, “But don’t regret it.”

Slowly I blew on his ear, making his skin full of goosebumps. Smirking, I backed away and looked down at him. He looked taken aback. Smiling sweetly, I leaned down and started leaving soft kisses down his neck, chest, and abdomen as I reach his pants. Azriel snapped his head up and, with eyes wide, looked at me.

“Amari?” Azriel mumbles as he freaks out, “Wait.”

“I told you. You asked for it,” I said, grabbing his dick. Azriel tensed up against my touch. His face was completely red as I squeezed slightly.

“Amari,” Azriel said, embarrassed, “let go.”

“Will I?” I said, not stopping. This is what he wanted, right?

Letting go, I move my fingers up towards his hem and unbuckle his pants.

“OK ENOUGH!” Azriel said, sitting up and grabbing my hands. He was shaking. “That, that’s enough.”

“Class is not over,” I spat back as I glared at him. Azriel looked in shock. “Or what are you shy about now?”

Azriel’s eyes were double their size.

I giggle, moving my hand over his pants, toying with the zipper. I could see Azriel’s dick was erected. It made me curious. How would it look if I pull it out?

My mind was back on that erotic book he gave me. I was honestly becoming curious as my eyes glued to his dick. I remember Maximus. He was bigger than Azriel’s.

As I think about him, a door suddenly opens, and Alastair stares at us in shock.

He was dropping his book. I lift an eyebrow.

“Lost something?” I asked, annoyed by the interruption.

Alastair looked taken aback by my rude answer.

“Amari, we should stop,” Azriel said as he pushed my hands. I could feel him shuddering.

“Brother, you look like a bag of blood,” Alastair said as he contained laughter. Azriel blushed harder.

Sighing, I get up.

“I think we finish,” I mutter as I undo my pigtails.

“You had him,” Alastair said, approaching me.

“What do you mean?” I asked without looking at him.

“Well, baby brother, here is a virgin,” Alastair said. I stop halfway through and look at him, baffled.

“He is what?” I said, moving my head towards Azriel. Embarrassed, he looked down. “You have me getting classes from a virgin?”

“Yes,” Alastair shrug, “He’s an expert even though he hasn’t had sex. Maybe some orals, but nothing more. Right, brother?”

“Shut up, Alastair!” Azriel hissed angrily. But it was anger from being embarrassed. Laughing, loud, I wave my hand.

“I’m sorry,” I said, laughing hard.

Azriel groaned and stood up, fixing his pants.

“Asshole,” Azriel snapped at Alastair. Alastair just laughed and covered his mouth. This was unexpected.

“It seems class was fun,” Lorcan said as he walked up with Lilith. “Did everything go well?”

“Oh yes,” Alastair answered, smirking Azriel’s way, “Amari just found out baby brother is a virgin like her.”

“Now I see,” Lorcan laughed.

“Now, now, brothers. Don’t bother our baby boy,” Lilith said, hugging Azriel, who only rolled his eyes. “Now that we are all here. Amari dear, Lorcan told me he mentioned the Ball, right?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Have you decided?” Lilith asked. Thinking about her question, I look down at my hand.

“How long for the party?” I asked as I know it could be soon.

“We have two months before the Ball. Two months to get you prepared and have you ready to be Lorcan’s partner.”

“Two months?” I said, thinking. I had already decided on becoming a queen. The problem was that I just haven’t told them. It took me a while to accept but. What could I lose? If this was a way to live my last two years, then let it be. “Fine then, but I have a condition.”

“What is it?” Lorcan asked, smiling.

“I wear a mask,” I said. I know the idea was stupid, but I didn’t want people to see my face.

“Oh, that sounds good! Let’s do that!” Lilith said, clasping her hands excitedly.

“Good then, I agree,” Lorcan smiled. Clapping, Lilith excuses herself.

“So, are you going to wear something sexy like that?” Alastair said, “You look delicious.”

Smiling sweetly, I fist my hands and approach him. Slowly, I slide my finger up his shirt.

“Do I now?” I murmur.

“Yes, even though those breasts need to grow,” Alastair said, making me groan angrily. Closing my eyes, I faked a smile.

“Well, I don’t have to worry,” I mutter.

“Why?” Alastair asked, smirking.

“Because I don’t have to show them to you,” I said, kicking him in his crotch.

“Fuck!” Alastair said, dropping on his knees.

Lorcan and Azriel laugh.

“Let’s go, Lorcan, we have a fighting class,” I said, scoffing towards Alastair, “I might need to put those exercises to practice soon.”

“I like the sound of that,” Lorcan said, following me, “bye, brothers.”

“What?” Alastair groans in pain as Azriel stares at him.

“Nothing,” Azriel shrugged, walking back to bed.

“Am I the only one getting kicked like this?” Alastair asked angrily.

“Maybe,” Azriel said, “You deserve it.”

“Shut up, virgin,” Alastair yelled, “You will get yours.”

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