“Jesse... Don’t”, I whimper. “Please, stop!” I try pushing him away, but he won’t move an inch.
“Hmm you want to, I know you do”, he says, still kissing my chest.
“No, stop! I don’t like this.. please”, I’m trying to get out from underneath him, but he’s so strong.
“Stop trying, you know we won’t stop”, he’s grabbing my wrists and keeping them at the top of my head with one hand. He’s getting angry by now, something I find very scary.
He gets angry with me a lot lately.
We are dating for a little over 2 years now and the past 6 months he changed. Trying to get his way with me, getting angry if I don’t agree with him on something. I don’t know why.. he was such a loving and caring boyfriend before.
When I tried to break up with him 2 weeks ago, he only said “I’m not done with you yet”, and walked away. He came back hours later, completely hammered and very angry, he hit me a few times. Leaving me with bruises on my cheek and my upper arm. He never did that before, after that I was afraid to disagree with him on anything. I know it’s not the right thing, but I didn’t have any other plan.
“Jesse, please you are hurting me!“, I am crying by now. I tried to hold the tears, but I can’t.
Jesse ripped my shirt open and pulled my jeans down. Unbuttoning his own pants, he takes his hard member out. Shoving my panties out of the way, he enters.
I hear myself whimper, it hurts so much. I try to stay quiet, not making him any more irritated.
I know I can’t win.. I can’t do anything...
I feel disgusted and very scared. Please, let him be done soon.
A knock on the door interrupts all this and I cry out loud.
“We’re a little busy here”, Jesse answers like nothing is going on.
“Hey, you guys okay there?“, I hear a familiar voice say.
“Tom, help!“, was the only thing I could answer before Jesse put a hand over my mouth.
“Tom, give us some privacy. We’re just having some fun, if you know what I mean..“, Jesse tells my good friend. I can only whimper again, hoping Tom will do something.
“Sarah?“, I hear him ask, hesitance clear in his voice. I am full on crying right now and I hope he hears it, i can’t exactly do anything else with his hand on my mouth.
I hear a sound of a key.. please, please help me Tom.
He comes in taking in the scene in front of him and runs over.
Jesse climbs off of me but Tom is faster and his fist connects to Jesse’s jaw. He falls down and Tom swings again and again.
“Tom, stop. Please”, I finally make out. Even crying harder than before. Tom stops, looks at Jesse before he says, “leave now and never come back. Next time I won’t stop”, his tone is icy cold and stern. Jesse gets up and stumbles away, Tom walks behind him, closing the door and locking it.
He rushes over to me and tries to hug me. I stiffen at his touch. He must notice, because he quickly pulls away, taking a blanket and giving it to me.
“Thank you”, I quietly tell him. We sit like this for what feels like hours, before Tom speaks up again.
“Can I do something?“, he asks with concern in his voice.
“I want to shower, can you please wait in the kitchen?“, I ask him, feeling numb. I don’t want to be alone, afraid he will come back, but also don’t want anyone near me.
Tom nods at my request and leaves for the kitchen.
After a long shower, I still felt dirty. But feeling too tired to wash again. While slipping in my bed, I take my phone. Staring at it, but not really seeing anything.
“Sarah, can I come in?“, Tom asks with a knock on my door. Pulling the covers up, I answer a “yeah”.
“Is it okay if I sleep on the couch? I’m not leaving you here”, he asks nicely.
Tom is a great friend. The best I have here.
“Yes, please”, I tell him exhausted. He nods and closes the door again.
I don’t know when I fell asleep, but I wake up sweating. Is it all a dream? Shifting to my side, I feel pain all over my body, telling me it wasn’t a dream. I can’t help but cry again. It was all so scary. Picking up my phone I see it’s only midnight.
I decide to call my best friend. Well my other best friend. Her name is Aria and she currently lives in England, London, while I’m back in the Netherlands. She is studying over there and I really miss her.
I dial her number and when I hear some noise on the other side of the line I just start speaking. I ramble out everything that happened, very fast. Not even noticing that not Aria picked up the phone, but someone else did.
I was so busy trying to explain everything (in Dutch) and trying not to cry. Until a British boy tried to calm me down. He was really sweet and was calming me down although he didn’t have any clue what I was saying. His voice was comforting and calm, but also full of worry.
After I had calmed down a bit and was done crying I finally asked his name. He said his name was Dan.
I didn’t even know my friend knew a Dan. He really calmed me down, so we kept talking for a while, he even told me he’s a guitarist in a band. How cool.
He cheered me up and I thanked him for that, before hanging up the phone and drifting back into a deep sleep.