The drive to the hotel was taking too damn long. I was taking us all the way into the city because there wasn’t a decent hotel in town. Now that she was pregnant there was no way I was letting her anywhere near a bike. Being confined to the moving steel box wasn’t how I’d like to spend the next seven or so months, but I’d need to get used to it. Whenever we would wanted to go somewhere as a family, we’d need the a car anyways.
Please God, let me have a son. I am not cut out to be a girl dad. Suddenly panic set in. A kid. I’m going to be a father.
“Nathan,” Rachel called to me, concern lacing her voice. My eyes were focused on the road in front of me but I could tell she was looking at me.
“I’m going to be a father.”
“Yeah?” I could tell the look she had on her face. We’d talked about this; she didn’t understand my confusion.
“It’s just sinking in.”
“Ah. You’re panicking,” she explained. “That’s normal.”
She was too calm but I didn’t want to talk about this while I was driving.
When we finally made it to the city I pulled into the first decent looking hotel I found. Putting the truck in park I walked around the hood quickly, helping Rachel climb down. I didn’t want her to exert herself anymore than she had to.
“Don’t roll your eyes at me,” I whispered in her ear after I’d helped her down. The only thing it did was earn me another eye roll. “Pregnant or not, I’ll still slap your ass, baby.”
The needy whimper she released told me all I needed to know. Grabbing our bags from the back I took her hand and walked us towards the reception. Thankfully there was availability. Apparently it was a holiday weekend? I didn’t keep track of shit like that, but we managed to get the last available room.
The elevator ride took longer than I would have liked and by the time we got to our room I was ready to rip her clothes off. But we needed to talk. Still.
“Can I shower first?” Rachel asked before I’d even set our stuff on the ground.
“Course, baby.” She kissed my cheek on the way, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Too many fucking thoughts.
She was going to leave? With my baby? She called it temporary insanity or whatever but how could I be sure she wouldn’t run again when something else happened?
And it would. It always fucking did.
Sitting on the bed with my head in my hands, leaning forward, I had no idea what to do. Relationships in general were new territory for me. And now she was pregnant. I was so happy about it. All I’d wanted since I’d known her was the white picket fence, happily ever after bull shit, or whatever version of that this life could give us.
And we were so close. I just had to make her see that running from me, running from us, wasn’t an option. I mean it was. Because no matter what, I would never force her to stay with me. But I’d break without her. I let myself fall back against the bed, rehearsing what it was I wanted to say to her.
The sound of the bathroom opening forced my eyes open and when I turned, Rachel was in nothing but a tiny hotel towel. When she bent over to rummage through her bag for clothes, all of her was on display for me. It took physical strength and determination to not pull the towel from her body and toss her on the bed. Instead I forced words out of my mouth. “I’m going to shower too.” She hummed a response as I brushed passed her.
I showered quickly, washing with the horrible smelling hotel soap. Too girly. Stepping out I realized I’d been too distracted by Rachel to remember to bring my own clothes in with me. I dried quickly, not bothering to wrap a towel around me before heading to the bedroom. Rachel was sitting on the bed, cross legged in one of my t-shirts and only underwear. She was typing away on her phone, assumingely texting her friends. “Do they know your pregnant yet?” I asked, pulling on a pair of sweats.
“No.” Her attention was back on me as she tossed her phone to the side.
“We need to talk.”
“I know,” she smiled sadly. “I’m sorry.”
“I know, but that doesn’t change anything.” I sighed, sitting across from her on the bed. Her eyes were already wet with tears. Usually she didn’t cry easily. “You were going to leave me.”
“How can I know that?” I cut her off. “After we met, was it even you that texted me? Or was it Jamie?”
“How did you?” She cut herself off this time.
“Something Annie said in passing. She didn’t mean anything by it. And then after you found out about the club you wanted to leave again.” She sniffed, waiting for me to continue. “And then today, again. Baby,” I said taking her hands. “You keep running from me. From us.”
“I don’t want to.” The look I gave her showed nothing but doubt. “Truly. I love you, Nathan, so much it terrifies me. When my dad died my mom just stopped living. She drowned herself in drugs and booze. She couldn’t live without him. I never wanted to love someone that much. But I do. And it terrifies me. And somehow, even though my mom had me, a daughter, it still wasn’t enough for her to want to stay. I don’t ever want our baby to feel like that.”
“You’re going to be an amazing mother, Rachel.” I pulled her into my lap and she came willingly. I didn’t know what else to tell her to make her see that we weren’t doomed to make her parent’s mistakes. No matter what happened to me Rachel would be strong for our child. I wished she could see her own strength. “And the life you have to live because you love me? The danger?”
“I knew who you were when I chose to stay.”
“But you still try and run.” Her eyes were cast down; she didn’t know what to say. “I won’t force you to stay with me, Rachel.”
“You’re not,” she said confused. “Baby, I wish I knew what to say to make this better, but I just don’t. All I know is that I love you and I want you. Forever. But I also don’t know how to fight years of instincts telling me to run when things get hard. It’s my automatic response. And I know it’s not fair to you. It’s not fair to this little guy,” she said cradling her stomach. My hand automatically went to cover hers, resting against the not yet existent bump. “I don’t want to run,” she emphasized the word. “It’s just the only thing I know how to do.”
Tears were streaming down her face. And she looked at me with so much sadness. But there was also love in her eyes, just like there always was. I’ve never doubted her love for me, not one time.
“Can you promise me something?” She asked suddenly.
“Chase me. Always. I want to promise I won’t run. But old habits die hard. Don’t let me push you away.”
“Repeatedly. As often as I need to.” Her words may not have been what I wanted to hear, but I loved her, all of her. And that meant taking the good with the bad. Her bad was just very bad. But she took my bad too. It didn’t stop us from loving each other.
Pushing my lips against hers I sealed my promise with a kiss. She moved her lips against mine urgently, like she was desperate for me. One of her hands stayed on her belly while the other wrapped around the back of my neck, holding me close. Pushing her tongue past my lips, she didn’t ask for entrance to my mouth; she demanded it, took it. And I gave it willingly.
Laying her down I kept our mouths attached while I settled on top of her. She raked her hands down my back before running them across my my chest, not stopping until she had both her hands down my pants, one cupping my balls while the other stroked me. “Wait. Wait. Wait.”
“What’s wrong?” She asked, not releasing me.
“What about the baby?”
“I don’t want to hurt him.” Her response had me tilting my head to the side while she cackled, her entire body trembling beneath me.
“You can’t hurt the baby. It’s fine.”
“Are you sure?” Jesus, I should have paid attention to something other than how to properly use a condom in health class.
“Can I spank you?” I had this image of her being fragile in her current state. Her and my baby.
“Yes,” her voice purred while she started moving her hands again.
“Fuck, Rachel,” I cursed into the crook of her neck while I thrust into her hands. With one hand I pushed my sweats to my ankles before kicking them the rest of the way off. Her shirt was the next to go. “Are your tits bigger already?”
Was that even possible? Definitely should have paid attention in health class.
“A little. They’ll get much bigger.” I love her tits. They were perfect, but I also wasn’t going to complain as they grew. Palming them I felt their new weight before flicking my tongue against one of her nipples. “Nathan,” she whimpered. More sensitive too. I was going to enjoy these next seven months. I loved the way she moaned beneath me while I continually switched between sucking and pinching her nipples. Her hips gyrated, seeking any sort of contact while I deliberately avoided her needy core. “More. Please.” I could never resist her begging.
She moaned when I rubbed my cheek against the delicate skin of her chest. She loved the scruff. Kissing my way down her middle I lingered on her lower abdomen, eyes locked on her while she stared down at me. “Hi, baby,” I called to our child growing in her stomach. “I’m your daddy.” I felt Rachel’s hand palm my cheek lovingly. “I’m going to take such good care of you. And your mommy. Always.” Placing another delicate kiss to her abdomen I continued my journey lower, taking her soaking panties with me as I did.
It felt like years since the last time I’d had her. Too long. “What are you waiting for?” She asked.
“Nothing,” I answered right before licking through her slit, ending against her clit. I wanted this to last. Building her up, I licked slow, torturous circles around her clit, delicately. Her hands went to my hair, forcing me to put more pressure against her.
“Oh God! Nathan!” Her heels dug into the bed, lifting up as she held me to her. “Fingers. I need your fingers.”
Flattening my tongue against her I shook my head back and forth quickly while sliding two fingers into her pussy.
“So tight,” I murmured against her flesh. “You’ve been a bad girl, Rachel. Trying to run from me again.” I tutted at her, pushing my fingers in and out so slowly that if I went any slower, they’d still. “What the most number of orgasms I’ve given you in a night? Five?”
“S-s-six,” she stuttered out when I danced my fingers against her g-spot.
“Hmm. And that’s still not enough to get you do want to stay with me?”
“Yes! God. More than enough. I love you.” Her pussy muscles clamped around my fingers, desperately trying to pull them back in as I retreated.
“Let’s just start with one and see how far we get.”
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!” She cried when I sucked on her clit and she came.
Releasing her clit, I kissed the inside of her thighs while fucking my fingers in to her, quick and deep.
“Don’t stop!” Her head rolled against the bed, her eyes shut tight while her hands dug into the sheets.
“Never.” Curling my fingers inside her I found her g-spot easily, making her come a second time.
“Nathan!” She cried for me. My name from her lips was my favorite sound.
“You said spanking was okay?” I smirked at her. She nodded. Grabbing her hips I flipped her over, groaning as she wiggled her ass invitingly. Laying on top of her, I trapped her beneath me, my arms by her head while I sucked on her neck. Her hips lifted from the bed, pushing her ass against my throbbing dick. I licked the path from the back of her neck to the small of her back.
“Nathan,” she whined, hips still lifting, looking for some type of pressure. Kneeling between her legs I lifted her hips, pulling her back to me.
“I still haven’t had this ass,” I whispered darkly before spanking one of her perfect round cheeks.
“And you won’t while I’m pregnant,” she tossed back over her shoulder.
“I can wait.”
“I can’t. Please. Fuck me!”
“So demanding,” I teased.
“Shut up and fuck me and I wouldn’t be.” Giving her what we both wanted I slammed in to her, burying myself inside her perfect, tight, wet pussy in one motion. “Yessssss,” she cried, her head falling back between her shoulders. Hand on her hips I thrusted in and out of her while she pushed back against me and met me thrust for thrust.
The sound of my thighs slapping against her and the wetness dripping from her filled the room, mixing with her low moans and whimpers. She clamped down around me again.
“You going to come for me again? Squeeze my cock with your pretty little pussy while I fill you up.”
“Nathan! Fuck!” Her body spasmed as she came for the third time, milking my own orgasm from me while I filled her.
“Rachel!” I groaned her name while I released inside her.
Pulling out I laid next to her before pulling her to lay on my chest, completely wrapping my arms around her.
“Well, I’m too tired to run from you tonight.” She chuckled humorously. I didn’t say anything. “Too soon?” She asked, pulling her head up from its spot in my neck to look at me. I shook my head softly at her. “Hey, Nathan.” The tone of her voice made her intentions clear, her remorse.
“It’s fine,” I said before she could apologize again. Because it was. Or it would be.
I was about to do something very, very stupid. Now was not the time. But I needed it. Gently, I rolled her away, kissing her lips and then her stomach before climbing from the bed.
She was naked, still wet and waiting as her eyes hungrily gazed over me. I wasn’t facing her but I could feel her eyes on my back. Fishing through my bag I pulled out the velvet box.
So not the time. But I was no longer in control of my actions.
“Nathan?” She questioned as I walked back to her. I pulled her to a sitting position and to the edge of the bed, kneeling in front of her. “Nathan?” She questioned again.
“This is not how I imagined doing this. I wanted to take you to our spot, where we had the picnic. I had it all planned out, sunset, bottle of wine and some chocolate strawberries. Although I guess even if I had done it that way the bottle of wine wouldn’t have been a good idea,” I chuckled. “I’m gonna be honest. My reasons for wanting to marry you are pure. I love you and I want to love you for the rest of my life. I want you by my side in good and bad times. I want to watch you grow old and watch our babies grow. From the first moment I saw you I knew you were it for me, that every single choice in my life had lead me straight to you. And I wouldn’t change a thing, not if they brought us together. But the reason I’m doing this now. Here. It’s entirely selfish. I need a ring on your finger. I need my claim over your heart, body and soul to be visible to everyone you see. Even to you. Rachel, I want this ring to remind you that I love you, completely. But more importantly, you love me the same. Let this ring be a reminder that running away from me isn’t what you should do. That reaction isn’t the right one. Run to me, Rachel. Whatever there is, all the club bull, your friends, your job. Even if I’m the one who has pissed you off to no end, because let’s face it, it’s going to happen.”
She let out a sniffly laugh, cutting me off.
“Run to me. Always to me. Because together, we can make it. You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever known. You’ve faced so much and each time you come out stronger and stronger. I want to be the man you lean on, the one you let see you fall apart. The one who puts you back together, even though I know you can do it all on your own. I love the way you love my club. I love the way you love your friends and always do whatever you can to make them feel safe and accepted. I love that you eat my cooking, even though we both know it sucks. I love that sleepy smile on your face when you wake up in my arms and I love the angry face you attempt to make when I wake you up, even though we both know you’re too cute to look threatening. And I love that you’re the mother of my child. That’s the best gift anyone has ever given me. Marry me, Rachel. Let me remind you every day why we belong together.”
She was crying hard and I was positive she couldn’t see through the tears anymore.
“Nathan, I love you. Yes. Yes. Yes!” She shouted the words louder as she wrapped her arms around me and dropped to her knees in front of me, pushing our naked chests together as she hugged me tight.
“You haven’t even seen the ring,” I laughed, realizing that throughout my speech I hadn’t even opened the box.
“It could be a ringpop and I’d still say yes,” she laughed. Sitting back on her heels she watched as I opened the box. She gasped quietly when I opened it.
“Still a yes?”
“Absolutely.” Taking the two carat princess cut ring with an infinity band- who the hell even knew that was a thing? I slid it on her ring finger. Her grin never left her face as she stared down at it. “It’s perfect. I love you, so much.”
“I love you, too.” I held her close, letting the feel of her against me calm me completely. “What do you say we set a new record tonight? Go right past seven to eight. It’s only five more.”
“You can’t kill me the night we get engaged,” she laughed.
“Ahh. Death by too many orgasms. What a way to go.” Standing I swept her bridal style into my arms and walked her to the bathroom. “Well see how you feel at seven,” I whispered against the shell of her ear.
“Nathan,” she whimpered, already ready for me to take her again.
“I’ve got you, baby. Always.”
“Always,” she whispered back before kissing me.