The painful secret (1)

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Chapter twenty-six

A week passed. A long, never ending week passed and there was still no word from Mary. It was Friday afternoon and Ally was working on her art project. She had decided to do her final piece in chalk. She stared at the sketch of Brian on the paper in front of her. He was smirking. She was able to sketch it in quickly without him knowing it and, along with that tantalizing smirk, there was a hint of amusement in his dark eyes. She was sure to capture his expression with her medium.

However, even as she drew, she couldn't completely concentrate on the project. Often, when her mind wandered, she would find herself biting her powdery nails, ignoring the horrible taste the chalk was leaving in her mouth. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop thinking about the court's decision. When would it come in and more importantly, what would it be?

Sighing, the frustrated, red-haired girl put her medium down and plopped down on her bed. All that week, each class seemed to take hours instead of minutes. Especially her class with Mr. Jeffrey. She was so thankful to him, that much he knew, but he also knew all of her secrets. This made her uncomfortable around the teacher even though he was kind and generous to her.

Allison clamped her hands over her face, sighing once more. This whole thing was getting to her, but just as she was ready to scream, the doorbell rang, catching her upcoming wail in her throat. Honestly, she wasn't in the mood to see anyone, including Brian. As bad as that sounded, she just couldn't enjoy herself until she knew the verdict that would either throw her life back into hell or allow her to start anew.

Standing from the bed, she hurried downstairs when the bell rang again. Opening the door, she was torn to see her boyfriend, the gorgeous Brian Lake, standing there. She was happy, yes. He could always put a smile on her face, but she also just wanted to be by herself. However, she allowed him inside and closed the door when he entered.

The boy greeted her with a kiss on the cheek, coaxing a smile out of her. She led him to the kitchen and asked if he wanted anything to eat. He turned her down and they headed up to her room. Remembering that she still had her project out, Ally made him wait outside until she could put it where he couldn't see it. She put her piece in a large folder and tucked it away in her closet. After returning the chalk to it's box and then the draw, Allison finally allowed the boy to enter.

"I'm going to see it eventually, you know," he said sitting on her bed.

Allison planted her hands on her hips and stood before him. "You won't let me see yours either," she combated.

Brian wrapped his arms around her dainty hips. "That's because I want to surprise you with it, baby. You, on the other hand, are just embarrassed and you think it's not good. Though," he continued, kissing her stomach through her shirt, "I'm positive it's amazing."

He was so sweet, she thought as she smiled down at him, running her hands gently through his soft, yet thick hair. Ever since her father was arrested, Brian had helped her change. She noticed that she had become a bit more social around Alice and the gang, but it was around him that she truly came out of her shell. She didn't shy away from too many things anymore. "Thank you."

Nodding, he patted a spot next to him and waited for her to sit down before turning on the television. However, Allison knew that it would just end up being background noise once their make out session began地nd one always did as of late. It had been almost a week though since she last let him hold her in his arms because of the time alone that she wanted. And even though she still craved the silence of solidarity, she allowed him to pull her into his outstretched lap when he settled against her headboard and numerous pillows.

The comedy channel was currently playing a movie that both of them had seen, but also enjoyed. And so, for a while they watched it with interest. But, as Allison figured, the dark-haired boy she was sitting with grew bored of it eventually, coaxing him to start nuzzling her neck. His soft lips were alluring, making her eyes stray from the television screen as she arched her head back, generously giving him better access.

Brian took the invitation to heart as he flipped her on her back, never removing his mouth from her sensitive neck. When he nipped it, she shivered in his arms, making him hold onto her tighter. Putting half of his body over hers, the Lake moved his skilled mouth to hers, kissing her tenderly as she stroked her cheek with his thumb.

Allison let out a sigh as she indulged in his warmth and touch. She let her hands snake around his neck and pull him closer. All thoughts of alone time completely vanished in his embrace. Then, she felt his warm tongue glide across her bottom lip, but she didn't oblige. She wanted to torture him, make him work for what he wanted.

The boy pulled back, knowing exactly what she was doing. His eyes narrowed as he playfully growled. Moving completely on top of her, he moved his mouth to her ear and nibbled on the lobe, licking it from time to time. "You are such a cruel girl, my girl" he whispered.

A soft giggle escaped her and his mouth darted to hers, taking her off guard His tongue dived into her mouth before she had a chance to protest. He was fast and he explored her mouth with want and desire. She let him win their tongue wrestling contest as she soon became dizzy with ecstasy. Heat coursed through her when his hand trailed down her side. She hated when he did this. He knew his touch could send her into a fit of lust, making her succumb to him with ease.

She hated it and loved it at the same time.

Brian moved his mouth from hers and smirked when she moaned in protest. Color rushed to her face when she realized that sound came from her. She turned away from his gaze, embarrassed by her actions. But, the Lake turned it back to him as he dipped down to place feather soft kisses on various places of her face. "Don't be embarrassed, baby" he said softly, kissing the corner of her mouth. "It was sexy"

His comment only made her blush more, but Brian was about to make her realize how deep a shade her face could turn. As he captured her lips with his again, the hand that slid down her side made it's way under the hem of her shirt. His fingers grazed the bottom of her bra, toying with her before he cupped her small breast, covering it completely.

Allison shivered, but not from want. She knew their relationship would eventually escalate to the next level, but she wasn't sure if she was ready. This was the first time they went any farther than making out and it scared her. But what frightened her the most was that images of the dark-haired boy's brother, Chad, flooded into her mind, making her remember his unwanted touches and caresses on her.

Brian's thumb grazed her nipple, instantly sending a wave of pleasure through her. But that pleasure was doused as Chad's image stayed in her mind. "Brian"

Thinking she was calling out his name in pleasure, the Lake moved her shirt up and stared down at her chest. There was only a thin piece of cloth between him and her soft flesh, but as he went to envelope the supple lump in his hand again, Allison stopped him and pulled her shirt back down.

"No冰rian," she said, moving away from him.

The boy looked at her, surprised and a little hurt. "What's wrong?"

"I can't. Not yet再ll I could think of was尖our brother and how he" She couldn't finish her sentence and she didn't dare look at him.

Brian sighed and shook his head. "That was over a month ago, Ally. When are you going to get over it?" His words were surprisingly harsh, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to go farther with her, but knew her past would get in the way. However saddening that may be, he was tired of it.

Allison's eyes widened. She wasn't expecting him to say that at all. "I'm sorry Brian"

Crawling off the bed, he ran a hand through his hair. "Listen, I didn't mean to be so hard, but you have to see it from my point of view. I want you, Ally, more than you could ever know and I've tried to suppress that, but every time we start to get heated, we stop and that's hard for me to do."

"Yeah, I heard"

Brian looked up at her. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I've heard stories about how you used to be at parties. You used to take a drunk girl into a room and-"

He growled, stopping her mid-sentence. "So, you do listen to gossip." He smirked. "I used to do that, yes."

Even though she was expecting that answer, she was hoping it wasn't true. She was hoping that it was just gossip, but he just confirmed it. "Oh匈 guess I'm a little different then多uh?"

"You are a lot different, Allison," he replied quickly. "And I don't know if I can keep running around in circles with you. We aren't going anywhere in this relationship and I don't just mean with sex. It's so hard to get two words out of you about your problems, even though I've trusted you with every detail about mine. This can't be a one-sided relationship."

Allison's voice was caught in her throat, where it was kept under lock and key. She was hurt by what he was saying and feared what would come next. It sounded like she was just a burden to him, like their relationship was nothing but work. She looked away from him, not sure of what to say.

Brian frowned. "That's it? You have nothing to say?" He waited, but she didn't answer. "Fine. I'm going home. Come and get me when you want to at least talk." With those final words, the Lake left her room, slamming the door behind him.

Ally didn't mean to stay quiet, but she didn't want to say the wrong thing. She sighed and fell back in her bed. Only minutes ago, Brian was lying with her, caressing her lips with his. She felt empty now and it was a feeling that she didn't like. Thinking about what he said, she couldn't help but realize that what he said was true. The only reason she couldn't move forward and get past everything was because she was standing in her own way.

But how is she supposed to get over her haunting memories. How was she supposed to bury the corpses of her past? It seemed impossible. Sighing, she rolled onto her stomach. Maybe, she thought, Brian was helping her all along. Sure, he stood by her and supported her, but maybe he was doing more, unbeknownst to her.

Then it hit her. To rise over her woes, she had to face them head on. She had to let herself forget the old and allow herself to move on. When Brian was touching her, so much like the way his brother had, he was testing her. He wanted to know if she could handle him在ut she couldn't. She was still stuck in the same place and Brian wasn't going to be able to stay with someone who can't defeat their own demons.

Rising from her bed, she slipped on her shoes and clumsily ran down her stairs. Just as she was about to exit her house and make a beline for Allison's, her phone rang, stopping her dead in her tracks. Glancing at the caller ID, Allison's heart stopped in her chest.

It was Mary and a gut feeling was telling her that the verdict was in
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