Twisted Thomas

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#24 Aston Johnson is a motherfucking Yoda


Dylan and Aston look at me with utter and complete shock in their eyes.

“You seriously had a threesome with her and her boyfriend?” Aston asks, whistling lowly. “Wow, Thomas. That’s… Fuck me, it’s been a long time for me since I did something like that. Takes me back to the days I was still a big old man slut. Tracy is fit as fuck, and her boyfriend is pretty well-endowed from what I’ve heard. Not like me, obviously, but who is?”

I roll my eyes at him. “Yeah, yeah, we know you’re hung like a horse, Aston. You never let us forget it. Your poor wife, getting impaled by a man slut like you every night.”

“I wish,” he says, laughing. “Every night… don’t make me laugh, Thom. We have a 1-year-old daughter and my fiancé is in law school while running her own firm with her sister. She’s exhausted all the damn time.” He sighs deeply. “If I’m lucky, I get to fuck her four times a week. Sometimes it’s only three times.”

Dylan roars with laughter. “Oh, poor you. You’ve got a hot fiancé with a fulltime job and a little kid, and she only sleeps with you three or four times a week. That’s a lot, Aston. You have absolutely no reason to complain.”

“Is that really a lot?” he asks, looking surprised. “Oh. Hmm. I didn’t know that. Of course we go for multiple rounds when we do get down to it, so I guess that if you count orgasms, I’m on seven or eight a week. Yeah, that’s not too shabby.”

I laugh and put on my shoes. We’re in the locker room, getting ready for our training session. Aston’s isn’t working tonight, so he’s just here to hang out with us, having more time to joke around and talk than he normally does. The weirdness of him having been with Franny is completely gone by now, probably because I’m no longer hung up on Francesca one little bit.

Plus, Aston is pussy-whipped by his fiancé, even if he doesn’t like to admit it. He’s one lucky guy though, to have a woman like that in his bed every single night. He likes to complain about not getting enough sex, but he lights up whenever she calls or texts him, and a few nights ago when we were taking a group class from him, he picked up a call from her in the middle of work and told her that he was the luckiest guy in the world to have her and their daughter Steffi in his life before telling her that he missed her hot ass and hanging up to get back to his class. He’s one weird dude.

“Back to Thomas and his threesome,” Dylan decides, rolling his eyes at Aston. “Please tell me you’re not seriously going to take them up on their offer to join them again this weekend. We both know you love her, Thom. You’re going to kill yourself if you keep agreeing to share her. Either tell her how you feel or cut yourself loose. You’re going to end up just as fucked-up as you did when things ended with Francesca.”

“I’m not in love with her,” I grunt. “I just like the girl. She’s important to me, okay?”

“You guys are import to me, but I’m not asking you to join me for a foursome with my wife,” Aston says, making things weird again. “You don’t seem to look back on your threesome with much joy, Thom. I’ve had a few threesomes back in the day, even with another guy in the mix, and I still think those were fucking hot nights.”

“Yeah, you liked the threesomes you and Franny had way more than you like this one with Tracy,” Dylan agrees. “Is it because Michel’s not a hot girl?”

“Nah, I actually kinda liked the whole thing,” I admit, looking away from my friends. “I think that if Michel hadn’t been such a douche to Tracy, I would have been eager to try it again. And to be honest, I was totally up for another round that night, if Michel hadn’t decided it was time to stop. It was very, very hot, the whole thing, but it was just… I don’t know, man. I tried to talk to her about it, but she swears everything is okay and that Michel is amazing.”

“What did he do?” Aston asks, cracking his knuckles. “Did he hurt her?”

“Not physically or anything, but he called her things that no man should ever call a woman,” I say, shuddering in disgust.

“Oh, did he call her a dirty little ho or something?” Aston asks, sounding utterly unconcerned. “Or a slut? Some girls like that, Thomas. I know Shaughna does, to name one. Dshawn calls her that all the time. Anna doesn’t, but she enjoys it when I take control. Doesn’t mean that she’s not still the boss of me outside of the bedroom, you know.”

“Maybe I’m overreacting,” I agree, not knowing what point I’m trying to make anyway. “She says she is into it and that he treats her right. I have to trust her on that.”

“That still leaves the question of why the fuck you want to continue down this fucked-up road,” Dylan presses, looking at me with those knowing eyes of his. He gets me the way you only do when you’ve been friends since you were 7 years old and spent almost every single day together.

“If I don’t, she will ask someone else to join them.” I look down at my hands and crack my knuckles, feeling sick to my stomach. “I don’t want that to happen. Not just because I hate the idea of her with anyone else or something, but because I don’t trust Michel. At least when I’m there, I know that she’s okay, you know? I would never let her get hurt, physically or emotionally. She acts all though, but even a girl like her has a breaking point, and hers should have been a long time ago. I don’t want Michel pushing her sexual limits to be the thing to break her. If he asks one of his friends to join them… who knows what would happen?”

“You’re going to keep fucking the girl you love while her boyfriend stuffs her other holes and calls her a whore, just because you’re scared she will get hurt if it’s another guy dipping his dick in her?” Aston laughs and pats me on the shoulder. “Man, you’re just as fucked up over Tracy as I was over Anna when things started to get real between us. I didn’t know what the fuck to do with myself. I did a lot of stupid shit. I almost lost her a few times.”

“You didn’t have to share her,” I grumble, not even denying that I love her anymore.

I do.

I love her.

Fuck me, why do I always fall for girls who can’t give me what I want?

I’m not even asking for much, just for someone to want me back and not have a boyfriend.

“Dude, Anna was dating someone while I was basically her sidepiece,” Aston says, grunting. “Christopher fucking Davids, this totally age-appropriate single doctor. No kids, no baggage, a real stand-up guy. He’s one of her best friends now, and I really like the dude, but back in the day… Man, I didn’t like to admit it, not even to myself, but I was so jealous of him it made me sick. Did you know I even thought he might be the father of her child when she found out she was pregnant?”

I stare at him, not sure how to react.

“Wow, dude, that is fucked-up,” Dylan says, having no trouble voicing his thoughts. “Was she fucking both of you at the same time?”

“It wasn’t quite like that, but… yeah, sort of. We made a mess of things and she tried to make things work with him, because she wanted kids and a house with a white-picket fence and all that grown-up shit, and she was all freaked out about nearing 40. And look at me…” He gestures at himself, laughing. “I’m not the guy you think of when you want shit like that, right? I didn’t even know if I was emotionally able to give her all those things, and he was all for it, ready to settle down and knock her up and shit. So… she tried, but in the end, she broke things off with him, bailed me out of jail, told me she loved me, and the baby turned out to be mine, so… yeah, things worked out real good.”

Dylan and I lock eyes, our brows furrowed. Sometimes when Aston shares things, I feel like I’m listening to the plot of a horrible movie. One of those high unrealistic romantic movies Tracy likes to watch, curled up on my couch with her head on Dylan’s shoulder and her feet in my lap, eating popcorn.

“Guys?” Tracy’s muffled voice sounds from the other side of the door. “You in there? I’m ready to kick some ass!”

I can’t help the smile that creeps onto my face when I hear her voice. Dylan shoots me a warning look, and Aston laughs, shaking his head at me again.

“Not a word,” I warn them. “She’ll kill me if she knows that I told you guys any of this.”

“Not a peep,” Dylan vows.

“No promises,” Aston teases with a wicked grin. “The girl is getting good. If she gets close to wipe me out in the ring tonight, I will stop at nothing to distract her so I won’t lose to a girl.”

“Chauvinist pig,” Dylan and I say in unison as we walk out the locker room.

Tracy is standing on the other side, her gloves raised and her high blonde ponytail swinging as she does an eager little jump, grinning from ear to ear. “Who is a pig?” she asks, her eyes finding mine before even greeting the others. “Aston, right?”

“Hey!” he complains. “These other two blokes aren’t much better!”

“Not much, but at least a little,” she insists. “Thom is a motherfucking angel. He should get his very own halo. I think I’m gonna start petition and send it up to the big guy up in the sky.”

As she gets into the ring with Dylan and they start their warm-up, Aston holds me back for a moment, looking utterly serious for once. “Dude, that is one class-A girl up there.” He nods at Tracy. “Don’t be a dickhead like I was, okay? I could have lost the love of my life because I was too fucking scared to tell her how I felt. And from what I’ve heard from Shaughna, you lost Franny partially because you didn’t speak up back when you still had a shot with her. Don’t get roped into this whole love triangle with her boyfriend. Don’t let them use you for sex, okay? Tell her and make it clear that you want all of her, not just her perky tits and wet ass pussy.”

I roll my eyes, but his words are getting to me. Could he be right?

“You know I am,” he says, answering my unspoken question. “Now stop being a goddamn pussy and get in the ring so I can kick your scrawny little ass.”

“Okay, Yoda,” I shoot back, making him laugh.

He’s given me some food for thought, at least. I’m not sure what to do, but I know that Dylan are Aston are right that I’m in fucking deep already, and as much as it makes me sound like wimp, my heart is on the line here. I don’t want to end up looking for a leggy blonde to have rebound sex with again. I quite like the spunky little blonde kicking Dylan’s ass right now.

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