#42 Dreams for the future
Mila wiggles her perfectly manicured fingernails in the direction of the bedroom. Dylan carries in the big box labeled sex toys, giving me a sly look. He is so going to be snooping the second he puts the box down on the bed. Mila seems to know it too, and instead of telling him off she merely shrugs and gives me a pointed look.
“You wanna head in there too and look at my props?”
I laugh and shake my head. I’m on top of a ladder, hanging up her new curtains on Franny’s old rail. Years ago, I was the one to put the rail up. I helped Franny move in and helping Mila today takes me back. Fran had a few old college friends helping her out, but no family, and I felt for her the moment I realized that. She told me about losing her father and how her mother lived on the other side of the country, giving me insight into her life while we hauled boxes into her place and unpacked them. We ended up spending the whole week together, picking out furniture, almost crashing the truck we hired to pick up her new couch, and I put up ever single light, rail and shelve in this place. For his many faults – like not standing up to Mom – my father did a good job of teaching his two sons the typical male things, like handling a drill.
“I’ve seen sex toys before, you know,” I tell Mila, finishing the curtains. “Only I don’t call them props. For me, they’re just for fun.”
She grins and winks at me. “I bet you’re a lot of fun with or without props.”
“He’s got a girlfriend,” Dylan reminds her as he walks back in from the bedroom, holding a huge purple dildo. “So if you want a hot single guy to flirt with, pick me. Oh, and Mila…” He gestures at the purple monstrosity. “This doesn’t seriously fit inside of you, does it?”
She laughs heartily and grabs it from him, running her bright red fingernails over the length of it. “Oh, it does. With room to spare.”
I’m starting to figure Mila out slowly but surely, and I think she likes to get a rise out of people, just like I do. She makes comments like these all the time, but when she’s sitting on the couch in her sweatpants, scarfing down pizza, she’s just like any other girl, and I think I like her even more with all the bullshit stripped down. She seems all vocal and flirty, but when she spent the evening at my place the other night, she was so quiet it was creepy, and she watched TV while Dylan and I worked on an app for a new restaurant. I have the feeling that the quiet, thoughtful Mila is every bit as real as the dolled-up and flirty version of her, maybe even more real.
“How about we put the dildo away for now and get the rest of the boxes from the truck?” I propose, getting off the ladder and grabbing my phone from the kitchen counter to see if there are any more texts from Tracy. I’m still reeling from her asking me to spend the night at her place. That’s a huge step for her, and I have to admit I’m hoping this means I’ll finally get to have sex with her. All the blowjobs are nice, but I’d much rather bury myself in her. It’s been way too long. I want to hear her moan and make her beg for me to make her come.
Tracy did text, and it’s a picture of her with a whole litter of kittens she helped deliver. The mother had to have emergency surgery, but she’s pulling through.
I’m tempted to take one home with me, she says with a hundred heart emojis following her statement. Their owner is going to find homes for them, and he already asked me if I want one, but my apartment is already cramped with Pumpkin, Snoopy and Oyster.
Bring me one, I shoot back, smiling at the cute picture. I’ve only got The General, so I think I can add another furball.
My phone rings and I laugh when I see it’s her. I pick up, unable to stop smiling. She has that effect on me. “Hey baby.”
“Hi Tracy!” Mila and Dylan shout, and he is miming rude things to me, while Mila is using her hand and tongue to mimic a blowjob. They’re real classy, those two.
“Tell them to fuck off,” Tracy says in a chipper tone. She doesn’t need to see them to know what they’re doing. “Are you serious, Thom? You don’t need to get another cat just because I think kittens are cute.”
“Yeah, I’m serious,” I tell her, loving the excitement in her tone. “Oh, but that means that having dinner at your place isn’t going to happen. Fuck. I can’t take in a new cat and then leave it alone for the rest of the night.”
“They can’t leave their mother yet, so it would be twelve weeks before one of the little buggers would move in with you.” She sighs. “Oh, I want one too… I know Oyster is still pretty young, but these babies, Thom… I wish I lived in a big barn with lots of space for all kinds of animals. I’d love to have a million cats and dogs, a fat pig, maybe some chickens for fresh egs…”
“A barn, huh?” I picture us living in a farmhouse, a few miles from the city limits, with animals everywhere. I could have a home office in one of the large bedrooms, and Tracy could keep working as a vet tech, and maybe start a rescue program for animals or something. The vision does something to me, and I shiver, unable to stop thinking about what it would be like to live together and move into the kind of house she’s describing.
Get a grip, Thom, I tell myself sternly. It’s only been two weeks. You haven’t even slept with the girl.
“Someone just walked in. Gimme a second,” Tracy says, and she mutes her phone while she talks to someone in the clinic.
“Dude, you look like she just told you that you can fuck her up the ass tonight,” Dylan comments, sounding amused.
“If by that you mean I look happy, then you’re right,” I reply, still smiling. “I love that girl. I know it’s too early to start thinking about the future, but she’s just so perfect for me, man.”
“The future?” Dylan asks, sounding surprised. “As in… living together?”
“Yeah man, definitely. I’ve never lived with a girl before, but with Tracy… I can see it. Not right now, but one day. Sure. Soon, hopefully.”
“Thom?” Tracy’s voice sounds from the phone, and she sounds different than before. A little on edge. “You know I can still hear you, right? I muted my end of the call, but you didn’t.”
“Don’t freak out,” I tell her, the smile wiped right off my face. “I promise I’m not trying to move in with you tonight or anything. I just love you a lot, and I am so fucking excited that we’re finally together. When you said the thing about the barn just now…”
To my complete and utter surprise, she sounds sweet and not at all freaked out when she responds. “You like that idea? You wouldn’t mind living in an old place with stairs that squeak and animals taking up all the space?”
“I love that idea.”
“Me too,” she almost whispers, and she sounds like she’s tearing up. Getting to know her emotional side these past two weeks has been such a privilege. It’s like I’m getting the best of both the old and the new Tracy. Now that she’s not so uptight all the time, she’s even more perfect than she already was. “I can’t wait to see you tonight, baby. I need to get back to work now. Say hi to Mila and Dylan for me, will you?”
“Will do.” I smile when she makes a kissy noise into the phone, and I do the same thing.
The second I hang up, Dylan and Mila start making loud, obnoxious kissing sounds, mocking me. I roll my eyes and head down the stairs to grab another box from the truck. Mila stays upstairs to unpack some boxes in her bedroom, since we already put her closet, bed and other furniture in there, so it’s ready for her to unpack her clothes and stuff. Dylan runs downstairs with me, and we each grab a box and walk to the elevator a couple of times, stuffing it to the brim before sending it up while we hurry upstairs so we can unload it.
“Thom?” Dylan says with a little smile while we yank boxes out of the elevator and push them into the hallway to bring in later.
“Yeah?” I reply, grunting when I shift a particularly heavy box.
“It’s good to see you this happy, man.” Dylan’s smile wavers, and he fidgets with the hem of his shirt. “Don’t you… I mean, surely you want to introduce Tracy to your family soon, right?”
I shrug. “I’m sure Charlie and Jolene will want to come over for dinner soon to see who I’m so madly in love with, yeah.”
He rolls his eyes. “You know I mean your parents, Thom.”
“I’m not speaking to them until they apologize to you.” I grab a box and carry it into the living room, checking the label to see where it should go. It says pans and pots and shit, so I push it in the direction of the kitchen before heading back into the hallway.
“I hate that you’re not on good terms with your parents anymore,” Dylan says the second I’m back at the elevator, picking up another box. “It’s all my fault. I made those stupid jokes about us being a couple, and it freaked your mom out.”
“It’s not your fault that my mother is a bigot,” I bite out, angry at her, not at him. “You’re my brother, man, in every way that matters. More than a brother. You’ve everything to me, man. If my own mother can’t accept you, then she’s not worthy of even a second of my time.”
Dylan looks like he’s about to cry, so I walk over and hug him. We’re not usually the crying and hugging types, but I’m not scared to get in touch with my softer side.
“I feel so fucking bad for what happened at Christmas,” he grunts, holding me tightly.
“Don’t,” I insist, squeezing him right back. “I love you, man. Fuck my mom.”
“Ahw,” Mila coos from the doorway, and we look up to her snapping pictures of us with her phone. “You’re so cute. If you ever decide to become a couple, I will totally ship you guys. Although that would be pretty shitty for Tracy, so maybe not.”
Dylan wipes at his eyes, getting himself back together. “Thomas is taken. Like I told you before, I’m still up for grabs, and I may be acting like a woman right now, but I’m still very much into pussy. So if you feel lonely at night with Thomas staying over at Tracy’s, feel free to call me, baby.”
Mila laughs. “You wish, pretty boy.”
Dylan squeals and does a weird little jump, back to acting like a fucking moron. “Did you hear that, Thommy boy? She called me pretty! The porn star called me pretty! I think she’s falling in love with me already.”
We all laugh, and then we’re back to moving boxes. I can’t help but wonder what Mila’s story is. With Franny, I know why she had to rely on me to help her move. No father, a mother living far away, and not a lot of friends because she was so focused on her job and too insecure to see other people trying to get close to her. I have a feeling Mila must have a story too, since there are no siblings helping out today, no parents or uncles or anything. Two friends stopped by a few days ago to help her paint the place, and this morning a guy showed up with the moving truck and he helped me and Dylan get the largest people of furniture up here, but he couldn’t stay for long. That’s all, though. Three friends helping out a little, but no family. Why does she seem just as alone in the world as Franny did back in the day?
Tracy pulls me in for a kiss the second the front door swings open, and she climbs me like a monkey, her legs going around my waist. I kick the door shut behind me and walk us into the living room, where we fall down onto the couch together, kissing and groping.
“Dinner,” she gasps between kisses.
“Fuck dinner,” I grunt, more than happy to make her my main course tonight.
“First dinner, then fucking,” she insists, pushing me off her.
“Are you saying…?” I’m too scared to hope I’m reading her right.
“Yeah,” she says, her green eyes sparkling in the dim lighting. “I realized today that not having sex with you hasn’t helped me slow things down between us at all. I’m already in so fucking deep that I might as well get an orgasm out of it, right?”
I laugh at the way she words it, but I get what she means. She was trying to protect herself the past two weeks, scared to fall ever harder for me. I know that in her mind, it made sense to hit the brakes, but with us, there is no going slow. Not anymore. It took us so long to get to this point that all our pent-up feelings keep spilling out. I don’t want to hold anything back, and it seems like even though she’s a little apprehensive about being in a real relationship again after Michel, she isn’t trying to keep me at arm’s length anymore, and I’m grateful for that.
“I thought I’d be scared to ask you to spend the night,” Tracy says, walking into the kitchen to check on the stew she’s making. “But it feels so… easy.”
“You calling me easy, baby?” I tease, pushing myself up against her so she can feel my erection poking against her lower back. “Because you’d be totally right.”
“You’re such a slut,” she says, turning around in my arms and kissing me hard. “Okay, fuck dinner. Take me to the bedroom.”
I grab her legs and pull them around my waist again, walking us straight to the bedroom. I’ve been waiting so long for this. All day long, I’ve been thinking about her. Not just her naked body or all the ways I want to fuck her, but also our short conversation about the future. Living together, getting more animals, guying a barn on the outskirts of town… I want that. I want all of that with her. Not right now, but I also don’t want to wait years to get to that place in our lives. Like my lovely mother reminded me, I’ll be 30 soon. If things keep feeling this right with her, I think I’ll want to move in with her in just a few months. I’m not sure how she’ll feel about that, and I can wait for her if I need to, but I know what I want.
I want her.
For the rest of my life, if she’ll have me.