The Awkward Boy's Crush (BoyxBoy)

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Chapter 10

It’s late now. I couldn’t even feel the passing hours. Well that’s how it is, you don’t feel like you spent hours when you’re enjoying something. But that damn Physics class feels like an hour passed by with every ten minutes. The guys are helping David and Duke collect the bottles, wrappers and stuff. Felix just looks like he fell asleep again, he’s not fooling anyone.

“Felix, I literally saw you talking to Ezra while walking back here. We all know you’re awake.”

“Felix, come on get up. We’re done with cleaning up anyway.” Duke joined David in exposing Felix.

Felix got up instantly. “Duke, carry me. I’m so tired “, he said whining.

“We’re not twelve anymore. And you stuffed yourself with half your weight. I can’t carry you.”

“But you’re so tall and you have a nice build now. Also... did you just call me fat ?” Felix asked with exaggerated disbelief on his face. He knows just what to say, I thought chuckling to myself.

Felix still got his piggyback ride. Like I said before, it’s hard to say ‘no’ to Felix.

“Didn’t even say a ‘please’ or a ‘thank you’. Doesn’t even take me seriously. Always takes me for granted.” David grumbled mumbling complaints, all the while Felix slumped on him like a dead body.

“Happy ? Now get off before I throw you towards the other side of the railing. You’re really heavy. Don’t slump on me you ass!” Duke looked like he would pass out.

“You need more workout then!” Felix teased while getting off.

Duke looked pissed off and maybe a little hurt, but he didn’t show it, he’s not fooling Felix either.

“Thanks Duke, I’ve always liked your piggyback rides since we were kids. I’ll make you your favourite breakfast tomorrow.” Felix smiled a genuine grateful smile, reading the room. That got him a smile in return.

“I’m inviting myself too. See you at Felix’s tomorrow.” David spoke up with excitement. I’ve heard Felix is a good cook.

“You guys are forgetting someone who also lives close by.” Ezra invited himself too.

“I’ll be waking up at noon tomorrow. Or I’d have joined you.” Marvin tried stifling his yawn. Lance full on yawned. “Yeah, me neither.”

“I didn’t even invite you guys. You all shamelessly invited yourselves. And you two have the audacity to decline your self invitations.” Felix scoffed and pointed at Marvin and Lance.
“Whatever. Fine! All of you can join. I wanna show off my skills. You better have some high praises ready.”

Liam, Kairn ugh Kai and I politely declined. I gotta get used to ‘Kai’ now.


When I got home, my parents were watching some movie since it’s Saturday night. We usually watch movies on weekend nights together. I greeted them and walked towards my room.

“Show me the pictures tomorrow. I wanna see your friends” , Mom told me while still concentrating on the movie.

“Good night son.” Dad just waved, too engrossed to look. Well, all of us love watching movies. We don’t watch the fun family movies, no. We love watching mystery and psychological thrillers.

“I’m telling you. This guy is not the killer. I find that newbie officer really suspicious, why would he just hand the evidence over, when he knows his superior killed a man and is covering it up.” My mom stated her theory. I love doing that too. Dad usually just focuses on the movie.

“Nah he just looks like he doesn’t wanna get involved in a case with his superiors. He’s really close with him. Maybe-”

I shut the door. After freshening up, I plopped down on my bed. I was still really excited and smiling, the remnants of tonight’s energy still lingering on me. I turned some music on, deciding on some soft pop and alternative in contrast to alternative rock I listen to most of the time.

("Ooh ooh I’m a rebel just for kicks, now. I’ve been feeling it since 1966, now. Might be over now, but I feel it still.")

I tapped on the gallery icon and started looking at the pictures. I look genuinely happy in all of them. The group picture, the pictures with Kairn... ugh Kai, one with our boba drinks with Felix and another one with Ryan and Liam while the others were playing air hockey in the background. The others started sending the pictures in our group chat. I sent the ones I had as well.

Felix - Look at Marvin and Lance, playing air hockey like they’ll kill each other with it 😂😂

Felix was the first to message tagging a picture Liam sent.

Liam- Air hockey: death edition💀

Liam made a meme with that picture, replacing fires in their eyes and fire in the background with ‘Air hockey: death edition’ written in that 90s scary movie font. Damn, he’s fast and good.

Felix- 😆😆

David- 😂😂😂

Damn you’re fast 👏 - Me

Duke- Lmao that’s so good

Marvin- Aww Lance u look so focusef and cool😍
Marvin- *focused

Ryan- wtf he looks like he’ll kill u

I guess Lance was asleep already or his reply would remind him of his pending punches.

Ezra- Look at Duke carrying Felix. He’d have passed out at second lol.
*a picture of Duke carrying Felix on his back*

Ryan- So cute though 😄

Duke- Shaddup Ryan. Im never carrying you again @ Felix.

Felix - Not even if I cook for you ?

Duke- I’ll think about it...

David- I’ll carry you anytime 😋

It made me think how much Felix really understands his friends. He’s still trying to make up for hurting Duke’s feelings. We all got it, he didn’t mean it. But seeing him trying to convey his apology like this, it’s really heartwarming. He couldn’t apologise in front of others, but I’m pretty sure he will in private. I wish I could understand people like this. I wish I could be a friend who’ll say and do something that my friend needs. Maybe I wouldn’t have lost friends at my old place then. It also scared me of losing the friends I made here. They feel so genuine, like Books. I’ll wanna ask Books. He always knew what to say. This hurt me again. I’ll have to ask Books to help me, again. He’s always there for me, but can he say the same for me ?

I decided I’ll call Books tomorrow.

("Oh my God, I can’t remember.
Who I was just last December.
What have I done? How did I get here? What have I done? ")

I noticed Kai was online now. I even changed his name to Kai on my phone now. I sent our pictures to him.

Hey. You gonna sleep now ? - Me

Kai- In a while. Thanks for pics. They’re nice.

Yeah the one with the gun is the best - Me

Kai- True. Also thanks for the key ring.

I told you it was for the puppy toy you won for me. Your sis liked the lion? - Me

Kai- I’ll give it to her tomorrow.

Kai- if she won’t then I’ll keep it

She will- Me

I’ll tell you something punny - Me

Kai- I’m the unfunniest guy in the whole group and pun jokes are the worst 😑

I’ll still try - Me

Kai- Go on

What did the ocean say to the other ocean ? - Me

Kai - ... what ?

Nothing. They just waved. - Me
😂😂😂😂- Me

Kai- oh

Oh? Did you not sea what I did there? - Me

Kai- I did 😐

Don’t be such a beach 😑 - Me

Kai- ...

How is that not funny? - Me
You really are the unfunniest guy in the group- Me

Kai- yeah I still have 😐 this face on

Whatever- Me
I’m funny enough for the both of us- Me
You don’t need to be funny- Me
You need more memes in your life- Me

Kai- You like memes that much?

Yess memez 4 lyf ⚡- Me

Kai- Please stop

Tell me I’m funny- Me

Kai- Yes Marc you’re funny 😪

Tell me something I don’t know- Me
*hair flip gif*

I just ignored that emoji.

Kai- I would tell you some fact, but that’s really old and lame

You’re a dork- Me

Kai- You’re missing some words

In a good way 😑- Me

Kai- 😊
Kai- And you’re weird... in a good way

Well Good night Kai- Me
See you on Mon- Me

Kai- Good night Marc

I set my phone down smiling. I’d missed the group chat while talking to Kai. Talking to Kai really helped lighten up my mood. I feel I’ve found the friends I’ve always wanted. Books will forever be the one, but I didn’t have friends like these. Especially not in high school. Most of them drifted away after middle school. I just couldn’t change with them. I was lonely, if I’m being honest. I was lonely. So I pretended keeping up with friendships is too much of a hassle anyway or that I’m too different to fit in with them. I blamed it on them. I blamed it on me. I’m a compulsive talker, an over thinker, awkward, too attached and scared of letting go... a weirdo. I look too deep into things I shouldn’t and miss the surface in return. It hurt me so much when they formed their clique and left me behind. I couldn’t change. I couldn’t fit in. Can I fit in now?

But remembering the past month; The flashes of Duke and David laughing with me. Ezra taking to me. Felix narrating the movie he watched the day before. Marvin and Lance bickering. Liam and Ryan just being their laid back selves with me. And Kai smiling genuinely at me. I fit in, right?

Songs used :

- Feel it Still by Portugal. The Man

- Oh My God

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