The Awkward Boy's Crush (BoyxBoy)

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Chapter 17

I followed Kai to the guest bedroom. It’s smaller than the other rooms with minimal furnishing. There’s a queen sized bed and a small side table. Then there’s a study table and a chair beside the window and a two door wardrobe with mirror attached to its left door. The curtains are simple sheer linen ones. There’s no bathroom in this room.

Are we gonna share the bed? The bed is perfectly big enough for two people. I can’t just say I’ll sleep on the floor. Makes no sense. And there isn’t much space on the floor. How am I going to sleep when Kai’s beside me?!

“Which side do you want?” Kai asked, putting my train of thoughts to a stop.

“You sure? I can sleep on the floor. I’ll just need a foldable mattress.”

“Huh why? There’s enough space for two. And I don’t think Duke has any more mattresses. Are you... uncomfortable sleeping beside me?” He asked in a dull voice. I can feel the worry in his voice, though he tries not to show it on his face. He looks a bit down. Oh my God No! Did I hurt him? Why do I do shit like this!

“What why? Nooo, of course not. Absolutely not. Why would I be uncomfortable with you?! I can never be uncomfortable with you. Never think that. I just thought maybe you like to sleep alone in your bed. I’m sleepy, let’s sleep. I’ll take the left side. You okay with that?” I started rambling at a speed of hundred kilometers per hour. I plopped down on the bed as soon as I finished my sentence to prove my point.

Yes Kai, I am uncomfortable with sleeping beside you. And it’s not because of what you’re thinking. It’s the total opposite of it! How can I say that? How can I sleep when my heart won’t stop beating out of pace? How can I sleep when I’m this nervous? How am I supposed to keep my cool when you’ll be this close to me all night?

“Sorry. Yeah I’m fine.” He looks normal now. He believed me, right? Phew, I’m doing an alright job so far.

“It’s alright. I don’t care about anything else. I’ll never be uncomfortable with you, okay?” I said with a smile. He has to know I really don’t care about those stuff. I’ll say it as many times he has his doubts.

“Okay.” He gave me a genuine smile. Oh, that smile just stops my heart for a few seconds.

Let’s bring my normal face on. But I can’t stop smiling. The more conscious I get, the more I start smiling like an idiot. It’s my defence mechanism. I smile when I’m overwhelmed. This has led to some awkward situations as well.

“Well, I gotta pee.”

“Okay.” I heard him say, but I was already speed walking out of the room.

I shut the bathroom door. After getting my business done, I washed my hands and face and looked myself in the eyes through the mirror. Come on, Marc you can do it. Don’t be too self conscious. Yes, I can do it! I fist pumped in the air and left the bathroom with newfound determination.

“Ugh stop leg hugging me. You’re heavy. Let me sleep.”

I heard someone while walking through the corridor. The only person this irritated, frustrated and angry voice can belong to can be Lance. Their room’s door was slightly open, so I could listen to them. And Lance is not whispering. I stood beside the door like a shadow.

“But can I at least put my arm around you? I can’t sleep.”

“Ugh stop it Marv... don’t pull me closer! Ugh just go to sleep.”

“Sweet dreams Lance. Dream of me.”

“Like hell I will. Good night Marv.”

I walked away from the door carefully.

Yess Jackpot! Marv! That’s it. I found my side. Marvin was saying something else, but I way already far enough to not make it out.

I tiptoed to my room. Kai was lying on the bed, busy on his phone. Not being able to contain my excitement, I dropped myself on the bed startling Kai. His phone smacked his face since he dropped it. I couldn’t stop laughing at him rubbing his nose.

“The hell?! Marc what’s with you? What’s with the stupid grin?”

“Marv!”

“What?” He asked with confusion written on his face.

“Lance calls Marvin Marv when they’re alone. I’m betting in favour now. I ship them!”

“Pfft- look at you so excited.”

“We’re gonna win. I know it!”

“How d'you know though? Marc, were you eavesdropping?!”

“Okay, I know it sounds bad. But I just happened to hear them talking while walking back here. I just went to pee. It’s just a coincidence.” I shrugged, trying to act indifferent about this whole situation. I was totally listening in on them. And the door was ajar, they should’ve checked it’s fully shut.

“Seriously Marc?”

“I have ears. I could hear them.”

He looked at me with his ‘are you kidding me’ look, the one he uses to make me give in. And it works, every damn time!

“Okay, I’m sorry. It was wrong. I won’t tell anyone else. I promise.”

“Alright. It’s okay. Just make sure Lance never knows about this.”

I nodded at that. Lance would punch me in the face.

“Okay let’s sleep. I’m really tired.” I switched off the light and got in bed.

Since the bed is big enough for the both of us, it was pretty comfortable. But we were sharing the bedspread! I was facing the other side. It must’ve been some fifteen minutes and I was already drifting off to sleep. I felt some movement beside me, maybe Kai’s tossing around. But I was too sleepy to care.

“Marc...” I heard a whisper close to my ear. Have I started dreaming already? That’s Kai’s voice. I don’t wanna dream about him when he is right beside me!

“Marc, are you asleep?” I felt a tap on my shoulder. Oh, it’s happening in real life.

“Almost. What’s up?” I answered groggily. When I turned towards him, he was way too close. I can’t see his face clearly in the dark of course, but I can make out where he is. I jerked back a little.

“Sorry. Well... remember you asked me what I was afraid of?”

“Uh huh, is it a spider or a lizard? Did you see one?” I replied to him in my half asleep state.

“No... it’s the dark. I don’t like it when the room’s too dark.”

“You’re afraid of the dark then?”

“I wouldn’t go that far, but I can’t sleep in the dark. I always keep a bedside lamp on. I sleep fine in dim light. I can’t sleep.”

“This is dim light for me. I can see where you are from the outside light through the curtains. I sleep in total darkness.”

Since it’s the guest room, it doesn’t really have anything except those empty furniture, let alone a lamp. I feel bad for Kai.

“Really? Can you see my face then?” He asked me with a hint of incredulity. Okay, point made.

“Okay, fine. Just leave it. Tell me, how can I help you sleep?”

“I don’t know... can I sleep a little closer to you? I would be able to sleep if I know there’s someone beside me.”

Oh my God! Closer! What is happening to me today? Let me breathe a little! Thank God he can’t see my face clearly in the dark.

“O-okay, come here.” I lifted the bedspread a little and moved my pillow. He moved in closer to me. Now we’re almost face to face.

“Goodnight Kai, don’t worry. I’m here. I won’t sleep till you do.”

“Yeah right... it takes like like five minutes for you to fall asleep.”

Well now, I can’t. But what do you know...

“I won’t... here, I’ll help you sleep.” I lifted my hand and caressed his hair with gentle touches. I ran my fingers through his hair and swept them away from his temple, tucking the side long ones behind his ear. They’re as soft as I imagined they would be. My mom caressing my hair would make me sleep when I was a kid. He was tensed at first, but melted into my touch soon.

“It’s alright, just go to sleep. I’m here.”

He was soon drifting off to sleep. I kept caressing his hair, because it feels so good. I’m so tranquil and content right now, right here. I don’t even remember when I felt happy and calm at the same time. There’re some other warm feelings bubbling in me, indescribable. I may never get another chance, so I wanted to make the most of it. I was soon falling asleep as well, but I tried to fight it off for as long as I could.

I was already asleep facing the other side when I felt Kai leaning his head on my back and putting his arm around me. Why oh why? I’m gonna have a case of Arrhythmia if this goes on. I turned so I was lying on my back, his arm slipped a little. I tried to lift his arm and keep it carefully beside him. Kai muttered something and just leaned his head on my shoulder, putting his arm around my middle, making me freeze. Please stop!!

I’m calling Books tomorrow. I need help!

I thought moving around would wake him up and would lead to an awkward situation, so I let him sleep. I’ll remove his arm and move him a little when I’m sure he’s in deep sleep.

Now I’m wide awake, again. After staring at the ceiling blankly for a while, I turned to Kai. Though I can’t exactly see him clearly, he looks like he’s sleeping peacefully, in contrast to my lying on the bed restlessly. I feel hot in the place where his arm is resting on me. I noticed a stray lock on his temple. Hesitating a little, finally I tucked the stray lock behind his ear. But I couldn’t stop there.

I touched his cheek in gentle stokes. It’s so soft. Cupping his face tenderly, I traced his bottom lip with my thumb, not quite touching it. I want to hear him say he likes me before I could touch those lips. This thought made me retract my hand.

In the end, I couldn’t stop myself. I placed a soft feathery kiss on his forehead and caressed his hair one last time before I lost myself to sleep and make this night seem like a dream tomorrow. I welcomed that warm feeling of having Kai beside me; him holding me. Before I knew it, I was drowning in a dark abyss, that of sleep.

“Sweet dreams Kai... I hope you dream of me sometimes.” I whispered to myself.

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