The Awkward Boy's Crush (BoyxBoy)

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Chapter 17.2

Kai was lying on the couch, staring at the TV with a blank expression. In fact, he wasn’t focusing on the TV at all. It was Marcus he had on his mind. That boy occupies most of his thoughts. Marc was the only one he took to his sanctuary, the roof. Watching the view with his arm around Marc was honestly one of the best feelings he’s had in a long time.

He keeps revisiting their time together frequently. Lying on the grass beside him, gazing at the sky, pointing out cloud shapes; he loved all of it. He loves walking with Marc through the garden, under the vine arbour tunnel. He loved the time Marc hugged him. He dreams of those times often. Marc’s smile, his stupid jokes and his awkward stories.

Suddenly, someone plopped down beside him.

“Shouldn’t you leave now? Your friend’s place is a bit far.”

Kaylee, Kai’s sister brought him back to reality. He sat up.


“Oooh were you daydreaming about Marcus?” Kaylee asked wriggling her eyebrows.

“No, Kay...” Kai crossed his arms and looked the other way.

“Hmm... don’t think I don’t know. You wouldn’t give me the key ring he gave you. And you keep it like it’s the most precious thing you have.” Kaylee snickered.

Kai got up and left, ignoring his sister. Kaylee just shook her head. She knew her brother would just run away, all flustered. Kay is that precocious little brother or sister you have. He never has a chance against her.


Kai rang the doorbell and waited for someone to answer. He was anxious and excited simultaneously, just as he always is when he’s with Marc. Finally, Duke opened the door for him and led him to the living room where everyone was at.

“Hey guys.” Kai greeted everyone. His voice seemed to startle Marc, as he spilled his drink on himself. Kai hadn’t noticed that. But when he sat beside Marc with a cola can, he saw him wiping his jeans with wet tissue wipes.

“Hey Marc. You alright?” Kai asked him, beaming.

“H-hey Kai. Yeah...” Marc smiled at him as well. Kai took a sip from the can and Marc went back to wiping his jeans after a few seconds. Kai noticed Marc had spilled some on his t-shirt as well. He thought of helping and wiped that spot on his t-shirt. He startled Marc again. He’s kinda jumpy today... Kai thought to himself.

“Hmm it’s alright now.”

“Yeah. Thanks.” Why does he seem on edge today?


Kai was focused on Marc while he focused on his pizza during the entire movie.

Kai also sat beside Marc while playing UNO. Marc concentrated so much on his cards, made Kai smile at that adorable sight. In fact, anything he does can make him smile. But he was too focused on his cards for Kai’s liking. Even with the Marce drama, Marc seemed more concerned about Marvin and Lance. He looked at them; it was all the same. Marvin annoying Lance. Lance pushing Marvin’s face away with his palm. Same old. Why would he focus so much on them?

Overall, he had an amazing time. He enjoys hanging out with the guys, but Marc makes everything better. But he was never alone with Marc, they never got the chance to talk much. Even while playing other games, it was a group thing. Marc was really interested in Jerkface Jack’s story. Who cares about him? At least Marc shouldn’t.

“Oh I’m beat. Now let’s decide who’ll sleep where.” Duke was trying to stifle his yawn but failed.

It was when everyone had decided where to sleep that Kai realised they were going to share a room. Of course he was nervous, how could he not be? But he managed to calm himself, “Let’s go Marc.” He tried to act cool, and it looks like it worked well. But his mind was screaming internally. And his heart, on overdrive.

When he saw the guest bedroom, his brain and heart stopped coordinating for a minute. It’s a room smaller than the others, with one queen sized bed. They’ll have to share the bed. Since he rarely attended these sleepovers, he had no idea what this room looked like.

“Which side do you want?” Kai asked with his normal cool voice, which took him so much effort.

“You sure? I can sleep on the floor. I’ll just need a foldable mattress.”

Kai was taken aback a bit. It felt like a pin pricked his heart. He tried to reason, “huh why? There’s enough space for two. And I don’t think Duke has any more mattresses. Are you... uncomfortable sleeping beside me?” He finally asked the question. Are you uncomfortable now that you know? Of course not, he was being stupid. Marc assured him that was not the case.

Kai was never really ashamed of his sexual orientation. But he was scared he would lose Marc. Worrying if your friend would accept you for your sexual orientation is stupid, he knows that. But he’s still scared; scared they won’t be the same. After crashing and burning once, he’s terrified. So he never got close to anyone else. Until Marc, of course.

Kai’s lived in a few places since his father’s job requires moving sometimes. He could settle nowhere. It was in 7th grade when he’d moved another time. But this time was different, he had made friends. He was pretty well used to it by 9th grade. Kai had discovered and accepted himself by then as well. It was a senior who caught his eye. One with kind eyes and a warm smile, the kind that get along with everyone and are popular. The senior found out Kai liked him. How? Even Kai doesn’t know. Maybe he wasn’t that good at hiding then.

When the senior confronted him, he decided to lay bare his feelings. It was the bravest thing he’d ever done. He believed the kind senior, even if rejects his feelings, would let him down gently. But the senior was anything but kind and understanding. Soon there were atrocious rumours about him. His close friends believed him, or maybe just sympathised with him. But it wasn’t the same anymore. There was pity or contempt in their eyes. Luckily, they moved away again. That’s where he is now. Of course he got some awesome supportive friends, but he remained on the outside. Until Marc.

So he was scared when Marc found out he was gay that way. Though he was scared and relieved at the same time; he won’t have to have the dreaded coming out conversation, the anxiety and anticipation. And scared for obvious reasons. He was going to tell him soon, still... Well, he did try at the park. But Marc’s warm hug really dissipated his fears. He’s grateful Marc accepted him as he is. His heart believed in everything Marc told him that day. And that was exactly why he can’t tell Marc what he feels for him. Because they’re close friends. Because Marc sees him that way.

Marc may never know but he caught Kai’s attention even before he’d looked at Kai. He would always notice the new guy. It was more than a week after he’d joined that he finally saw Kai. All because the boy simply spoke up him mind. Now look where they are now. Kai can’t do that anymore. He tried at the park, but after getting interrupted by David, he got back to his senses.

Also Marc is straight, right? That’s like the biggest issue. He’s pretty open to everything, but they never discussed his preferences, he’ll never see him that way, anyway. Kai may ask his preferences someday, but that’ll take a lot of courage on his part.



“What?” Why is he so excited? He went to pee, right?

“Lance calls Marvin Marv when they’re alone. I’m betting in favour now. I ship them!”

Oh the things he does. That’s why he was so focused on them. Kai inwardly face palmed. But he also found this adorable. After a little serious talk about Marc’s problem of eavesdropping, Marc turned off the lights and got under the covers.

SHITTT. It’s totally dark. There’s no lamp either. He really hates the dark. He still tried to sleep, but couldn’t. Marc looked like he was asleep, but Kai couldn’t bear it anymore. Although guilty, he asked for Marc’s help. His heart was on overdrive when Marc asked him to come closer to him.

“Goodnight Kai, don’t worry. I’m here. I won’t sleep till you do.”

“Yeah right... it takes like five minutes for you to fall asleep.”

“I won’t... here, I’ll help you sleep.” Kai tensed up when he felt a hand caressing his hair. It was so tender and sweet that he felt himself melting into the touch. Marc swept his hair from his temple and tucked it behind his ear. Marc’s fingers gently combing through his hair felt divine. He soon drifted off to sleep.

Kai felt himself drawn to the warmth beside him in his sleep. Of course he was subconsciously still afraid of the dark, but Marc was his anchor. His light in the darkness. He held him close.

He could feel Marc running his fingers through his hair even in his dreams. He felt soft caresses on his cheeks and a warm soft feeling on his forehead. It was a beautiful dream. Kai held Marc tighter.

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